Hopes

by Linda Chapman

  They stopped near the top of a peak and looked down across the valley. They could see High Peak Stables clinging to the mountainside, the horses looking like toys in the fields. Further down in the valley was the town. It all looked so wonderfully far away. Ellie breathed in the clear mountain air. There was no place she would rather be. Being out here, like this, with Spirit and Joe, free from being watched and being shouted at, everything felt right with the world.

  “We must come out on rides more,” she said dreamily.

  “Yeah,” Joe agreed. “When you break up from school we might be able to take half a day or something, with a picnic. There are loads of brilliant rides—we’ll have to make the most of the summer.”

  Spirit put his head down and coughed twice.

  Ellie felt a shiver of foreboding. Would Spirit be well enough for picnic rides? She forced the thought away. Of course he would be. He was just a bit off color right now. She would find out what was wrong and sort it out. She could feel how happy Spirit was to be out on the mountains. He’d be fine.

  She looked up at a sparrow hawk hovering above them in the sky, then leant down and hugged Spirit, resting her cheek against his neck.

  Chapter Five

  WHEN ELLIE AND JOE got back, Len and Ray were chatting on the yard. As Joe led Wisp up to the pony barn, Ray came over to Ellie. “So this is your horse?”

  Ellie nodded. “I bought him at a sale.”

  “Len told me about that.” Ray held out his hand and let Spirit sniff him. To Ellie’s surprise, Spirit nuzzled him. He was usually wary of strangers, particularly men but he instantly seemed to take to Ray. “Hey, fella.” Ray’s eyes ran over the scars on Spirit’s shoulder and legs. “Looks like he’s had a tough life.”

  “He was badly treated in his last two homes,” Ellie explained. Spirit had shared with her all his memories of the different homes he had been at.

  Ray walked around Spirit, and Ellie noticed that Spirit stood quietly, unusually relaxed. Ray offered him his hand again. “Is it all right if I stroke you?” he said as if asking Spirit’s permission.

  “He doesn’t normally like new people,” Ellie put in quickly.

  But to her surprise Spirit didn’t move as Ray laid one hand on his neck and another on his back. A frown slowly deepened on Ray’s tanned face.

  “Hmm,” he said, half in thought.

  “What is it?” Ellie asked anxiously.

  “Have you noticed him being off color at all?”

  “Yes, actually, I have. He’s not been eating and he’s been quieter than normal and he has been coughing.”

  “Maybe best to get him checked out by the vet.” Ray felt under Spirit’s cheeks and jaw and on his chest. “His glands are up a bit. And you want to get these little lumps checked out.”

  “Aren’t they just fly bites?” Ellie said.

  “Maybe. Maybe not. Get the vet to look at them.”

  “I will.” Ellie felt worried.

  “It may be nothing,” Ray went on. “It’s just I’ve got some experience in sensing horses’ energy fields and his feels wrong.”

  “I know!” Ellie caught herself as he looked at her in surprise. “I mean, I kind of sensed there was something wrong with him… What do you mean you’ve trained in sensing horses’ energy fields?” she probed.

  “All living creatures have an energy field around them and energy running through them—when they’re ill or upset then the energy is blocked or distorted. You can train yourself to feel it. Some people are gifted and can feel it naturally; others like me need to learn how to do it. Everyone is capable of it though—if they learn to listen to their intuition.” Ray looked at her. “Len says you’re good with the horses—that you seem to have a bit of a knack for guessing what’s wrong with them.”

  “Yes.” Ellie’s heart was beating fast. She’d never heard anyone talking about the sensations she got before. Ray was making it sound normal. “I can sense things about horses, feel things.” She didn’t want to say more with the others nearby.

  Ray smiled. “You’re probably using your intuition without even realizing it. Maybe you’re one of the gifted ones.”

  Ellie longed to ask more, but Ray was already turning and patting Spirit. “Sorry, fella. We’re standing here talking and you must want to be back in your stall.” He glanced around at Ellie. “Do get him checked out.”

  “I will.”

  She took Spirit back to his stable, worry running through her. If she and Ray could both sense there was something wrong, then there must be. She gently touched the lumps on Spirit’s chest. If they weren’t fly bites, what were they?

  “You’ll be OK,” she told him firmly. Giving him a kiss, she left him to his haynet.

  Joe was in the tackroom. “So what was Ray saying to you about Spirit?” he asked as she hung up the bridle.

  “He thinks I should get him checked out by the vet.”

  Joe gave her a comforting look. “Spirit’s probably just got a virus or something. He doesn’t look sick—just a bit skinny.”

  Ellie nodded. Joe was right; she knew there were lots of different viruses that horses could get. They weren’t usually very serious.

  “He’ll be fine,” Joe said firmly. “Now, come on, Dad was talking about a barbecue.”

  Len and Ray started a barbecue in the little garden behind the farmhouse, while Ellie and Joe fetched plates, bread rolls, and salad. Luke had gone out for the night so it was just the four of them. Ellie was struck by how different her uncle was with Ray there—much more relaxed. The two men sat in deckchairs, laughing about old times and things they’d got up to when they were young and on the showing circuit together. Joe sat down on the swing seat next to Ellie.

  The talk moved on to Canada and Ray showed them pictures of his large stables there. It looked amazing, set in the Rocky Mountains, three white barns with red roofs and pasture all around.

  “I never thought I’d see the day—you into all this horse-whispering stuff,” said Len, shaking his head.

  “You should try it, Len. I imagine Joe here could teach you—or Ellie. I think she’s got a talent.” Ray smiled at them both. “They’re great kids. You’re very lucky.”

  “Do you have children?” Ellie asked him.

  “No. My wife, Sarah, and I wanted to but it never happened. But that’s the way it goes. You can’t plan what life will hold for you.” He turned to Len. “Did you hear that Bob Anderson died last week?”

  “Bob?”

  Ray nodded. “It was a massive heart attack. And he was only our age. No one found out about it for two days.”

  Len sucked the air in through his teeth. “Poor bastard.”

  Ray glanced at Ellie and Joe. “Bob used to ride in the ring with us when we were younger. Gave up the riding to concentrate on having a stud farm, though, about ten years ago.”

  “I sold him a really nice working hunter mare I retired last year,” said Len.

  “Fern?” asked Joe.

  Len nodded. “She had a great jump. Bob bred her to a warmblood stallion. The foal was due a few weeks ago. So what’s happening to all the horses?”

  “They’re being sold—that’s what I heard today, anyway,” said Ray.

  Len rubbed his mouth thoughtfully. “I might call up and see if they’ve still got her. She’s a lovely mare and I’d like to see the foal she’s produced.”

  “Will you buy them?” Joe asked.

  “Might do.”

  Ray stretched and stood up. “Well, I’d best begetting back to my hotel if you’re all right to give me a lift, Len. You two take care of yourselves,” he said to Joe and Ellie. “And any time either of you fancy a trip to Canada just give me a call or drop me an email. You’re more than welcome to come and stay. I hope that gray of yours is OK, Ellie.”

  “Thanks.”

  They said goodbye and Len and Ray left.

  A few minutes later, Ellie heard the car engine start up. “I wish Ray could stay for longer. He’s amazing.
” Joe nodded. “There’s so much more I’d like to ask him. He knows loads. He’s done Parelli training and T-Touch and been on a course with Monty Roberts.”

  “Do you think your dad will start taking things like join-up more seriously?” Ellie said hopefully.

  Joe snorted. “Don’t be silly. It’ll be business as usual in the morning.”

  Ellie sighed, knowing he was right. It would take more than one visit from an old friend to change her uncle’s ingrained ways. She began to swing the seat.

  For a while neither of them spoke; the evening grew darker around them as the seat creaked in the still night. “We should clear up in a minute,” Joe said with a sigh.

  “Mmm.” Suddenly Ellie was struggling to keep her eyes open—it had been a long day. She rested her head against Joe’s shoulder. “I’m tired,” she said, with a yawn.

  “Me too,” agreed Joe, putting his head back and shutting his eyes. The seat creaked gently and swung on…

  “What the damn hell!”

  Ellie woke with a start at the sound of her uncle’s loud voice. Her eyes blinked open and she realized she and Joe had fallen asleep on the swing seat, with her head on his chest. They jumped apart as if someone had tipped scalding water over them.

  “What’s going on here?” Len’s voice was harsh, his eyes angry.

  “What? N-nothing!” stammered Ellie, remembering the conversation with Luke and realizing what he was thinking.

  “We just fell asleep, Dad,” Joe said, looking confused.

  Len’s eyes narrowed. “You fell asleep together?”

  “Yes, it was the swing. We were tired. That’s all. We’d meant to clear up—” Joe broke off and Ellie saw the realization dawn on him as he looked into his father’s angry eyes. “No!” he said suddenly, getting up. “There’s nothing going on—nothing like that. Honestly!”

  “There’d better not be,” Len ground out. He stepped closer to Joe, his whole body tense. “Or you’ll be sorry.”

  “There isn’t! There—”

  “Tidy this mess up!” Len snapped.

  Heart pounding, Ellie started to help Joe stack the plates and pick up glasses. Len watched them, his eyes still narrowed. He didn’t leave them alone again but followed them into the kitchen. He waited until they had finished stacking the dishwasher and clearing the rubbish.

  “I’m going to my room,” Ellie said as soon as everything was done.

  Len gave a brief nod and Ellie thankfully escaped up the stairs. She couldn’t believe she and Joe had fallen asleep together like that. Now her uncle would be even more suspicious. But what can he do? she thought. Nothing’s happening, so there’s nothing for him to stop.

  However, even as she thought that, she knew she didn’t trust her uncle.

  Trying to forget about it, she changed into her pajamas, but as she got into bed she was unable to completely wipe the sense of foreboding from her mind.

  The next morning Spirit refused to eat more than a few handfuls of his feed, even though Ellie stood beside him trying to tempt him. She was worried because she had found a soft swelling under his tummy. It was filled with fluid and, although it didn’t seem to hurt him when she touched it, it made up her mind. She found her uncle and asked if he could call the vet. He still seemed in a bad mood with her about the night before, but she suspected Ray had spoken to him about Spirit because he agreed to call the vet. John, the vet, arranged to come later that afternoon when Ellie was back from school.

  Ellie stared unseeingly at her school books that day as she tried not to think about something being really wrong with Spirit.

  She was first in line at the bus stop when school finished. The bus seemed to take ages as it chugged from stop to stop. Ellie fidgeted in her seat, just wanting to get back.

  Luke was waiting to pick her up—on his own this time. She ran to the car and got in. “Hi.”

  “Hi, there,” he greeted her and started the engine. “I hear John’s coming to see Spirit this afternoon?”

  Ellie nodded.

  “So he’s still not eating?”

  “No,” said Ellie, chewing a nail.

  Luke gave her a reassuring smile. “He’ll be OK. Spirit’s tough.”

  Ellie hugged her bag to her chest, hoping he was right.

  When they reached the stables, Ellie didn’t even bother changing but ran straight to Spirit’s stall. The door was slightly open. Was it the vet? She hadn’t seen his car.

  But reaching it, she saw that it was just Joe. He was rubbing Spirit’s ears, murmuring to him. “Hi,” he said, looking around.

  “Hi.” Ellie dumped her school bag by the door and went to Spirit. “How come you’re here?”

  Joe shrugged. “I just thought I’d come and see him.”

  Ellie frowned. There was something strange about Joe’s voice. A tightness. She could feel a tension coming from him.

  “How’s he been today?” she asked.

  “Not really himself,” Joe admitted. “I tried turning him out, but he just stood by the gate so I brought him in again. I’ve just been doing some T-Touch circles on his ears. They’re supposed to be good for horses when they’re ill.”

  “He seems to like it.” Ellie looked at Spirit’s half-shut eyes and lowered head. It was so unlike him to stand still and let someone else stroke him, but she could feel a contentment coming from him as Joe smoothed his mane. “John’ll be here soon. He’ll find out what the matter is. I guess it must be a virus or—”

  “Ellie…” Joe cut across her. She looked at him. Now there was no mistaking it: his face was tense, his expression worried.

  “What?” she said when he didn’t speak again.

  “It might not be just a virus.”

  “What do you mean? What are you talking about?”

  Joe pushed a hand through his hair. “I looked up Spirit’s symptoms on the Internet—being listless, off his feed, the lumps, the swelling on his belly…”

  “And?” Ellie’s voice rose in alarm. Spirit’s eyes blinked open, his head lifting. She put a hand on his face. “What did you find?”

  “It could be something called lymphosarcoma. It’s a cancer.”

  The word fell into the air between them. A million thoughts swirled through Ellie’s head, but all she could do was echo Joe. “Cancer?”

  “It may not be,” Joe said quickly. “It’s really rare in horses. But I just thought you’d better know.”

  Ellie looked at Spirit, shaking her head. “It’s not cancer.” Lifting his face to hers, Spirit breathed out softly. No. It isn’t cancer. It couldn’t be. I won’t let it be.

  “Ellie!” Luke called from outside. “John’s just arrived!”

  Joe went to the door. “She’s in here.”

  Ellie heard John’s footsteps. As he appeared in the stable doorway, Spirit snorted and stepped back, his eyes wary.

  “It’s OK,” Ellie soothed him.

  “So what’s up then?” John’s eyes were taking in the untouched feed in the manger and the way Spirit’s ribs were showing. “Is he off his food?”

  “Yes, and he’s coughing sometimes. He’s got some lumps too.” Ellie glanced at Joe who was watching from the door. He gave her an encouraging look. She was glad he was there. Even though he had spoken her worst fears out loud, he was her best friend and she knew how much he cared.

  John let Spirit sniff him, then he walked around, checking him over. Spirit kept his head high. Ellie could tell he was anxious having the vet around him, but he stayed still as she stroked him and murmured softly.

  John took out his thermometer. He took Spirit’s temperature and then put on his stethoscope and listened to Spirit’s chest. Ellie saw him frown slightly as his fingers felt the small bumps under Spirit’s skin. He then moved to Spirit’s head and checked under his chin and jaw, and finally felt the soft swelling on Spirit’s stomach. His expression became more serious.

  “What’s the matter with him?” Ellie asked.

  “Hard to say for s
ure.” John rubbed his chin. “His temperature is pretty much OK, but his heart rate’s high. I’ll take a blood test. With the signs he’s showing—being off his food, being listless—it could be any one of a number of things. I don’t like the look of this ventral edema though—the swelling here—and these lumps. They may be nothing, but I want to take a biopsy of one just in case. I’ll send that off to the lab.” He set to work, getting needles out. Spirit flinched, but stood still as John collected blood for testing and a sample of one of the lumps on his chest.

  Finally, John put everything away in his bag and then stroked Spirit for a few moments, as if trying to make up his mind what to say.

  “Look, you’re a sensible lass,” he said, turning to Ellie at last. “It’s maybe just a virus, but I need to tell you, we could be looking at something worse.”

  For a moment, Ellie wanted to simply turn and run. She swallowed and stroked Spirit. “What…what do you mean?”

  “There’s a rare form of cancer in horses called lymphosarcoma—it’s not common at all, I’ve only ever seen three cases in my life, but when it does strike, it’s not good news.”

  Ellie looked at Spirit’s beautiful face, his long forelock falling over his dark eyes. She had to swallow hard to speak. “Do…do they die from it?”

  John sighed. “Yes. And they go fast. There’s very little you can do with lymphosarcoma. The cancer forms in the lymph nodes and spreads around the body into the different organs. By the time the horse is showing signs, it’s too late to do anything about it. If it has spread, then you’re really only looking at the horse having a month or so to live.”

  Joe came forward from the door, his face full of concern. “He hasn’t definitely got lymphosarcoma though, has he, John? It could still be just a virus.”