Under Control

by Shannon Stacey

  Both kids nodded, and then Isaac gave her a little smile. “Do you like cheeseburgers?”

  “I love cheeseburgers.”

  “I like hot dogs,” Julia said quietly.

  “I like those, too,” Olivia said, though she hadn’t had one in years. “Food cooked outside on grills always tastes better than regular food.”

  “Is the bag ready?” Derek asked, and both kids scrambled to race into their rooms. He rolled his eyes. “A change of clothes for each of them in case one of them turns the hose on or there’s a condiment catastrophe. Sunscreen. Bug spray. And a small first aid kit. The barbecue staples.”

  Olivia nodded, but somehow she’d thought eight-and ten-year-olds would be more...self-sufficient. She was an only child with no kids and, having distanced herself from her family, she didn’t have little cousins or nieces or nephews around. The movies and television shows she’d watched over the years clearly hadn’t educated her on the needs of children.

  “I can’t believe how much they look like the two of you,” she said. “Isaac like you and Julia like her mother. I mean, I could see it in the pictures, but it’s so much more pronounced in person.”

  He chuckled. “I think a lot of it’s the facial expressions. I mean, Julia is practically a clone of Amber, for sure. Isaac looks like me, but there’s also some of Amber’s dad in there. His expressions and mannerisms are all me, though, so...yeah, he looks like me most of the time.”

  “He’s cute.”

  Derek raised his eyebrow suggestively. “So you must think I’m cute, then?”

  “You have your moments.”

  “We’re ready,” Isaac announced as the kids reappeared, and Julia held a small gray duffel bag with their last name printed on it in bold black marker.

  “Does anybody have to pee before we go?” he asked, and Olivia smiled when he glanced at her to include her in the question.

  Nobody did, so he ushered them all down the stairs and to his car. Isaac liked to do most of the talking, she realized, and Julia let him because it meant less talking she had to do. Derek had mentioned she was a little shy around strangers, so Olivia hoped that was the cause and not a silent protest of her inclusion in their day.

  “I should warn you, it’ll be a lot,” Derek said. “It gets loud and there’s a lot of joking and laughing. Sometimes there are arguments about the grills. We men sometimes get territorial about them.”

  “And sometimes they set the grills on fire,” Julia added.

  Olivia laughed. “Firefighters setting barbecue grills on fire? Did you have to call 9-1-1?”

  “God no.” Derek actually shuddered. “That’s the kind of thing a house would never live down. Ever. We handled it.”

  “But we had to scrape black stuff off the hot dogs,” Julia said. “Nobody likes burned hot dogs.”

  “That one woman did,” Isaac said. “I forgot her name.”

  “There’s a difference between a burned hot dog and a hot dog that was in a fire.”

  “Nuh-uh,” her brother argued. “That’s how you burn them. With a fire.”

  The bickering continued for a good part of the ride, and at one point Derek gave her an apologetic look. But Olivia didn’t mind. She’d much prefer listening to them discuss charred food than spend the ride in an awkward silence.

  The area around the house Isaac told her was Aidan and Lydia’s was so surrounded by vehicles, it looked like a commercial parking lot, but Derek managed to find a spot to squeeze his car into. As soon as he cut the engine, the kids were unbuckled and gone, and Derek chuckled.

  “Come on,” Isaac yelled over his shoulder, but he didn’t stop and wait for them.

  That was fine with Olivia because Derek leaned across the car and kissed her. “Hi.”

  “Hi.” She laughed. “Most of the time I’m sorry I’m an only child but sometimes...do all siblings bicker like that?”

  “Yup. And some are worse. One time, my mom had to pull the car over because my brother and I got into a fistfight in the back seat and because we were wearing seat belts, neither of us could run away or fall down. It was going the distance.”

  “Okay, so being an only child isn’t all bad.”

  He nodded his head toward the house. “You ready for this?”

  A minute later, Olivia decided it wasn’t possible to be ready for the scene in the backyard. It was a crowd, and Derek hadn’t been kidding about it being loud. But once she relaxed and looked around, she was able to pick out faces she recognized. Jess and Rick, of course, who waved from across the room. The firefighters Derek worked with. And Lydia, who’d been tending the bar with her sister the night of the fundraiser.

  They were all very friendly and it wasn’t long before she found herself separated from Derek, who was involved in a very heated debate about cooking chicken and foil-wrapped potatoes on the same grill.

  “Olivia, right?”

  She turned to see one of the guys she recognized as working with Derek. “Yes. Olivia McGovern.”

  “I’m Grant.” He stuck out his hand, which she shook. “And this is my girlfriend, Wren. We were at the fundraiser at Kincaid’s, but I don’t think we technically met.”

  She shook hands with the pretty blonde woman she had a vague memory of seeing. “There are a lot of people in Derek’s life.”

  “Cutter!”

  Grant turned toward the shout. “Sorry, but I’ll be back in a minute. They probably want my opinion on grill temps or something. I don’t know how many years these guys are going to barbecue before they figure it out.”

  “You’re right about there being a lot of people in their lives,” Wren said after Grant walked away. “It can be very overwhelming at times.”

  “I’m not sure they realize it because they’re so much like a family. It’s just the way it is for them, so they don’t really get what it’s like walking into it without knowing anybody. Have you and Grant been dating long?”

  “Yeah, it’s been a while. I wasn’t really looking for a relationship but then I met him and he made it hard to remember why.”

  “Funny, that’s exactly how I ended up here with Derek.”

  Wren laughed. “Have you ever dated a firefighter before?”

  “No.” Olivia shook her head. “To be perfectly honest, I never dated a guy who didn’t wear a business suit to work before I met Derek. I thought I had a type, but he proved me wrong, I guess.”

  “It’s hard sometimes, because their job is so dangerous. They tell me it doesn’t really get easier, but you get better at dealing with it so it seems easier.”

  Olivia spent a lot of time trying not to think about Derek’s job too much. She knew it was dangerous. But she also knew they were trained well and they always had orders and a plan of attack to follow. She took comfort in that.

  “What do you do?” she asked Wren when the conversation lagged.

  “I was working in a coffee shop and a small bookstore, but the bookstore was finally able to give me enough hours to quit the coffee shop. I love books, so even though the money’s not great, I love my job.”

  “I love bookstores. I need to make more time for them in my life. It’s so easy to click a button on the computer and have a book show up in the mail or on my phone that I forget how much I love browsing the shelves and finding books I didn’t know I wanted to read until I saw them.”

  “That’s the best part,” Wren said, and then she frowned as the conversation by the grills got very loud. “They sound angry.”

  “I was warned the grill discussions could get heated.” She was smiling as she said it, but she could tell Wren wasn’t comforted. Anxiety clouded her expression as one of the guys yelled for somebody to give him his tongs back. “Grant said they’d never figure it out, but I think this is part of the fun for them.”

  “Anger isn’t fun.”

 
“I don’t think they’re angry. They’re just loud and trying to shout over each other.”

  Then she noticed Julia walking toward her, with a couple of water bottles in her hands. She looked hesitant about talking to them, but she returned Olivia’s smile.

  “Lydia said to ask everybody if they want something to drink. Do you want a water?”

  “I would love a water,” Olivia said.

  Wren took one, too, but she didn’t open it right away. She turned it around and around in her hands, keeping an eye on the grills. That situation seemed to be winding down, and there was a lot more laughter than yelling, so she slowly relaxed.

  “I guess we should go mingle,” Wren said after a few more minutes of small talk. “And there’s so much food on those tables already, I don’t even know why they have to grill anything to go with it.”

  She wasn’t kidding. Olivia ate more over the next few hours than she had all week, and very little of it was healthy. The vegetables, maybe, if she didn’t count the dip she’d dredged them through. She also laughed a lot, and had opportunities over the course of the day to have brief conversations with Isaac and Julia.

  Derek had been right about this being a good time to meet his kids. There was no pressure, everybody was in a great mood, and by the end of the day, she felt a sense of almost belonging that surprised her. By putting his arm around her or taking her hand in his countless times, he’d made it clear to everybody that she was his, and they’d welcomed her with open arms.

  The kids couldn’t have missed it, either, but neither said anything about it. They either didn’t care, or they were holding back questions or opinions until she wasn’t around. Or they were too exhausted to talk, she thought when it was time to go and Derek helped his son buckle up. She was almost too exhausted to talk herself, and she hadn’t run like they had.

  Maybe she hadn’t run, but she felt as if she’d cleared a big hurdle. She’d spent the day with the two most important people in Derek’s life and there had been no tears or tantrums.

  It was a start.

  * * *

  Olivia agreed to go up with them when they got back to his place, and it didn’t take long for Derek to get the kids cleaned up and put to bed. It had been a big day with a lot of fresh air and he was surprised he’d kept Isaac awake long enough for a quick shower to wash the sunscreen and bug spray off him.

  Julia tried to resist, saying she wanted to read for a little while, but her eyelids were heavy as he kissed her goodnight. If he knew his daughter, she’d fallen asleep with her tablet beside her and her bedside lamp still on by the time he’d gotten back to the kitchen where Olivia was waiting.

  She was leaning against the counter, drinking from a bottle of water she must have found in the fridge. She’d gotten a little sun, but not too much since Chris Eriksson’s wife was a serious sunscreen pusher and the families of Engine 59 and Ladder 37 were like greased pigs by the end of any outdoor event.

  He stole the bottle and took a swig of water before setting it on the counter so he could put his hands on her waist. “So, did you have a good time today?”

  “I did. It was fun and, to be honest, I don’t spend a lot of time outside just enjoying myself like that. I try to walk a lot, but it’s different.”

  That’s not exactly what he wanted to know, but he found himself reluctant to straight-out ask her how she felt about spending the day with Julia and Isaac. They hadn’t interacted as much as he might have liked, since kids rarely hung out with adults at barbecues, but what he’d seen had looked positive.

  “And your kids are great,” she said with a knowing smile. Maybe he wasn’t as hard to read as he’d been told he was in the past. Or she just had a knack for it. “I enjoyed meeting them.”

  “I think they liked you, too.”

  His phone chimed in his pocket and he sighed. “It’s probably from Aidan or Lydia because one of the kids forgot something. You wouldn’t believe how often a lost-and-found bag or laundry basket is sent into the station after one of these things.”

  But when he pulled the phone out of his pocket, he saw that it was from Amber. Do NOT let the kids stay up too late. I know school doesn’t start for a few more days, but I’m trying to get them back on a decent sleep schedule now so the first week isn’t a nightmare.

  “Sorry, it’s Amber,” he told Olivia. “I’ll just be a second.”

  “No problem.”

  They played hard today and they’re already asleep. I couldn’t have kept them up late if I wanted to. Julia said they messaged you goodnight.

  She did, but the time they tell me they’re going to bed and the time they actually go to bed is not always the same. I’m glad they had fun and see you tomorrow.

  He sent back a thumbs-up emoji and tossed the phone on the counter. “Sorry. The kids start school next week and she wanted to remind me they need to get back on a regular sleep schedule before the first day. Isaac gets a little hard to handle when he’s tired.”

  “Because of his heart?”

  He smiled, warmed by the concern in her voice. “Because he’s eight.”

  “Oh.” She gave an uncharacteristically nervous laugh and shook her head. “Did you know you smile when you’re texting her?”

  Derek sighed, dreading where this was probably heading. “I did not know that.”

  “You do, and for a minute I was jealous, but then when you told me what she wanted, I realized you smile whenever you talk about your kids. I guess even when you’re texting.”

  “They make me happy. It sucks that they start school soon, since I won’t get to see them as much as I do during the summer, but they like school and they start getting bored, so it’s good for them.”

  “Speaking of next week, I’ll be out of town for a couple of days next weekend. It’s been on my calendar for a while, but I realized I hadn’t mentioned it to you.”

  “Oh.” Even though they often went several days without seeing each other, her going out of town was new. “Are you going to visit your family?”

  She rolled her eyes. “No. I’m speaking at a conference, so I’ll fly into Kansas City Friday and then fly home early Sunday morning.”

  “Kansas City, huh?”

  “Are you thinking about how far away I’ll be or the barbecue?”

  He traced his thumb over her bottom lip. “I’m thinking about how much I’ll miss you while you’re so far away...eating barbecue.”

  When she nipped at the tip of his thumb hard enough to straddle the line between playful and painful, he yelped, but she didn’t look very contrite. “Before you even ask, Derek, I’m not smuggling barbecue home in my carry-on bag.”

  “You could put it in your checked bag. You wouldn’t even technically be smuggling it, then.” When she tilted her head and looked up at him through her eyelashes, he held up his hands in surrender. “Of course you don’t check a bag. That would be inefficient.”

  “Very. Checking a bag and then standing around waiting for the carousel is a huge waste of time for short trips. And even for longer trips, it’s sometimes cheaper and faster to buy toiletries and whatnot when you arrive at your destination.”

  He put his hands on her hips and pulled her against him. “You’re very sexy when you’re talking about efficiency.”

  “I can say with certainty I’ve never been told that before.”

  “That’s too bad, because it’s true. When you talk about your work, you get this look. You’re passionate about it and knowledgeable, and you give off this air of confidence that’s very sexy.”

  Heat flared in her eyes and she buried her fingers in his hair. “It’s very sexy that you find that sexy.”

  He leaned in, teasing her lower lip with his tongue before pressing deeper. She opened her mouth to him and he kissed her with all of the hunger that had built up over a day of watching her in the sun, relaxed and laug
hing.

  But when his hand cupped her breast, he felt her hesitation and broke off the kiss. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong, really. It just feels weird to be kissing you with...you know.”

  “With my kids asleep in their rooms?” He chuckled softly against her hair. “Behind their closed doors?”

  “Yes, it feels weird.”

  “Parents get to kiss people, too, you know. That’s why so many people have more than one kid.”

  “You’re making fun of me,” she accused, eyes narrowing.

  “Only a little.” He buried his face in her neck and growled. “When am I going to get you alone again?”

  “I don’t know. You work Tuesday and we have a Village Hearts meeting Wednesday. I’m flying out Friday.”

  “Or we can just go in my room and close the door and be alone right now.”

  Her growl of frustration was even more impressive than his. “Your ex-wife already walked in on us. I’d rather not have one of your kids do the same on the very first day I met them.”

  She had a point. The work he’d put into finding the perfect way to introduce Olivia, Julia and Isaac in a way that enabled them to ease into it would be a waste if one of the kids walked in on them having sex. Since, as far as he knew, neither of them had done that yet, it would probably be a little traumatic.

  “Can we at least turn the TV on and make out on the couch a little?”

  She ran her hand up his stomach, making every muscle in his body clench, and hooked her finger in the neck of his T-shirt. “A little. And the clothes stay on.”

  “I can work with that.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Breakfast the next morning was cold cereal, though Derek made them each have a banana on the side, per their mother’s wishes. But he didn’t have the energy for making pancakes after a restless night of tossing and turning.

  Making out on the couch with Olivia had been sweet. But not stripping her naked and then walking her to her car with an erection that wouldn’t quit hadn’t been as sweet. And the cold shower had not only sucked, but it hadn’t really helped.