Ugly

by Margaret McHeyzer

  I have no idea why he’s taken to calling me ‘chicken butt’ but it’s his way of showing affection toward me. Liam is like the brother I’ve never had, and Shayne is the best friend I’ve always dreamed about. They’re my family, the only real family I’ve ever had. So if Liam wants to call me ‘chicken butt’, I know he says it with love.

  I heat my dinner, eat it, and go to bed. Tomorrow morning, Dale will be here to pick me up, and hopefully, I’ll be the owner of a new car before the day is through.

  Waking before my alarm clock goes off, I jump out of bed and go have a quick shower. I’m so excited and jittery, today I’m getting a new car. I dry my hair, throw it back in a ponytail, and get dressed.

  “You up, chicken butt?” Liam calls from the down the hallway outside my room. He hasn’t realized I’m in the kitchen eating some cereal. I remain quiet and listen to what he’s saying and doing. Silently laughing. “Come on, Lily. Get your butt out of bed.” I’m eating my cereal, smirking. “God you’re a pain in the ass,” he mumbles to himself. He knocks again, and huffs because he’s not getting a response from me. I of course, am now laughing so loudly, I can’t believe he hasn’t heard me giggling like a schoolgirl spying on two teachers kissing. “Fine, don’t wake up, you’re going to miss out.” He stomps down the hallway and I lean against the kitchen counter, trying my hardest to hold in the smile. He comes in and jumps when he sees me. “For God’s sake, Lily. You scared the crap out of me.” He puts a hand to his chest and breathes in deeply.

  “You were having such a good time trying to wake me I thought I’d just leave you to your fun.”

  “Jesus. You could’ve told me you were awake.”

  “Who am I to deprive you of your entertainment? I was simply enjoying my breakfast.”

  Liam squints at me, and I can’t help but laugh out loud. “You really are a chicken butt.” He moves into the kitchen and begins making breakfast. “I’m making breakfast in bed for Shayne,” he says as he gets a frying pan out of the cupboard and begins breakfast.

  I hear a knock on the door, and know Dale’s here. “I’m out of here.” I wash my bowl, place in it in the strainer and go give Liam a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see you when I’m back.”

  “See ya.”

  I answer the door and Dale is already walking toward his car. “Good morning, Lily. You ready?” he says as he looks over his shoulder at me.

  “I am. Just give me a second to get my bag.”

  “I’ll wait.” He gets in the car, and starts it while I run into my room and get my bag. “Bye,” I shout to Liam as I run past him, out the front door and into Dale’s car.

  We make small talk on the way to the dealership, and Dale can tell I’m nervous. We’ve already established a payment plan before today, and got the insurance for the car all sorted so if the dealership has a Taurus in the yard, I’ll be driving it home today (or rather, someone else will). The payment arrangement is more than generous and if I can I want to try and make double payments in order to halve the time I’ll be paying. Instead of it taking me four years to pay off, I’m hoping on having it done as close to two years as I can.

  “Larry, good to see you,” Dale says once we’re out of the car and inside the dealership.

  “Here’s a man who kicks my ass on the golf course every time we play. And now, he’s here to kick my ass in my showroom, too,” Larry says to me, as he shakes Dale’s hand. “You must be Lily. Pleased to meet you.” He lets go of Dale’s hand, and extends his to me.

  “Please to meet you, Sir.” I shake his massive, warm hand.

  “Pffft. Sir is my great grandfather, I’m just Larry.” Larry has to be pushing sixty years old, but he’s physically quite fit and his body stands easily a head above Dale. “Come into my office.” He guides us over to his office, and I notice on the door is his name with ‘President’ below it. “Now, Dale said you’re in the market for a car. What are you looking at?”

  “I’ve done some research and I like the Taurus.”

  “Good respectable car, they are. What features do you want on it, so I can see what type of deal I can do for you?”

  I go to speak, but Dale slightly touches my leg and shakes his head. I shut my mouth and watch them talk business. “Are you seriously going to try that salesman crap on me? Larry, I’ve known you and Sue for how many years?’

  Larry’s lips curl up into a very controlled smile. “I need to know what the young lady wants. It’s only fair.”

  “She wants the top of the range model. The SHO, with every possible extra there is.”

  “They’re forty thousand dollars, and come with everything.”

  “They’re forty thousand for regular folks. Not for me, who can easily make one phone call to Sue and get her to have you doing yard work, even in this snow.”

  Larry laughs and sits back in his chair, placing his hands on his head. “This is why we’re friends. You should come work for me, Dale. I think you’d be great on the floor.”

  “I’m not working for a grumpy, old bastard like you.”

  I’m smiling, but trying hard not let out a huge belly laugh. “See what I have to deal with, Lily? See?”

  I say nothing, because, Dale is here to negotiate something for me. “She’s not going to help you, Larry. Back to the car, now give me a price on a SHO.”

  “Forty thousand,” Larry quickly says without missing a beat.

  “No, I don’t care if you have to lose money on it, which I know you won’t. I want it no higher than in the twenties.”

  “What? That’s a ridiculous price.”

  “I’ve bought Betsy’s last two cars through you, and if you want me to upgrade mine next year to a car from you, you better get the Taurus in the twenties.”

  “I can’t do that price. That means I’ll be in the red.”

  The negotiations continue like this for close to forty minutes. Back and forth, minor playful insults, threaten to call each other’s wives and more trash talk on how bad the other’s game is on the golf course. The entire time, I sit quietly, chuckle when the insults are funny, and I listen.

  “My absolute best price is twenty-eight. That’s it, not a dollar below it.”

  “Make it twenty-five and we’ll take one right now.”

  “Twenty-five is just not going to happen. At all. You can forget about it.” He’s shaking his head quite seriously about the price. “Twenty-eight, that’s my final offer.”

  “Twenty-five.”

  The tension is quite thick in the spacious office, and I can feel my eyes widen as I try and remain invisible. “Twenty-seven,” Larry finally concedes.

  “Twenty-five. And I’ll tell you why you’re going to give me this car for twenty-five.” Dale sits right back in his seat, and starts bouncing his leg up and down, quite casually. “Because this girl right here, has been through enough shit in her life, and now she needs something to go her way. And that something, is one of those Taurus’ you have sitting out in the yard. You probably have what, twenty out there? Soon they’ll be last year’s stock, and you’ll be begging people to buy it, so do yourself a favor, and Lily, and give me the car for twenty-five.”

  “I hate people like you,” Larry instantly responds.

  “No, you don’t.”

  Then there’s silence in the big office. Nothing but the loud beating of my heart can be heard, I assume both Larry and Dale can hear it, because it’s so quiet and tense in the room.

  “Come pick your color, young lady,” Larry says as he stands and shakes Dale’s hand.

  “Oh my God!” I jump up out of the seat and fly into Dale’s arms. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” I hug him so tight. Dale’s body goes rigid, and I notice how uncomfortable he is. I let go and rush around to the desk and embrace Larry. “Thank you, Larry. This means the world to me.”

  “You’re welcome.” I step back and Larry looks at Dale. “You better let me win at golf for the next six months.”

  “No chance.”

&n
bsp; When I come down from my ecstatic high, I pick the color I want. It takes a couple of hours, but with everything ready, we’re finally able to drive my car home. “Thank you so much!” I reiterate to Dale.

  “Now, I called Betsy, she’s getting a cab here so either you or she can drive it back to your place, then we’ll head off home.”

  Before I know it, Betsy is driving my car home, and I’m sitting beside her in the passenger seat, reveling in the intoxicating smell of my new car.

  Dale and Betsy leave virtually straight away, and I go inside to get Liam and Shayne. They’re both so happy for me, and we agree Shayne’s going to take me practice driving, in addition to the driving school.

  It’s early afternoon and I’m exhausted. All the excitement has quite literally left me drained. But I still have to finish Michaela’s book, Love Is Perfection.

  I open the laptop and begin the document, fixing the errors and making suggestions for a smoother storyline. It gets to just before five and I go out to find Shayne and Liam sitting on the sofa, lovingly entwined watching a movie. “Hey, can I get dinner tonight? Pizza?” I offer.

  “Yeah, sounds good to me.”

  “Yep, me too,” Shayne adds before they both look back to the TV.

  I take it upon myself to go order pizza. I call the local place and they say it’s going to be about half hour, so I leave money on the kitchen counter, and go back to Michaela’s book.

  “Hey, pizza’s here,” Shayne says, as she opens the door to my room and comes in. “Is it good?” she asks as she sits on the edge of the bed.

  “Oh my gosh, it’s beyond fantastic! I love it. She’s really good at telling a story.”

  “She’ll be happy to hear you say that to her. But come on, dinner. And I’m not leaving until you come with me.”

  “Hang on, I’ll just save what I’ve done and I’ll be out.” Shayne stands and puts a hand on her tilted hip. “I promise I’ll be out.”

  “I ain’t moving, girl, until you come with me.”

  I hit save and close the laptop. We walk out together and enjoy a family dinner.

  I dial Michaela’s number and wait for her to answer. “Hello,” she says.

  “Hi, Michaela, this is Lily.”

  “Oh my God! I’ve been so nervous while you’ve had my book. I can’t believe you agreed to read it. Is it good? Oh my God, it’s bad right? That’s why you’re not saying anything. I’m pulling it, it sucks right? Oh my God, just tell me. Everyone says how good it is, but you can’t believe them. My mom said it was excellent. She’s lying isn’t she? Oh my God, it sucks.”

  I’m trying to interrupt her, but her panicked rant doesn’t let me get a word in edgewise, until I finally say, “Just be quiet for a minute.”

  “Oh.” And she rasps a sharp intake of air. “Sorry. I’m nervous.”

  “It’s okay. Now, I want to talk to you about Love Is Perfection.”

  “Oh God,” she painfully moans.

  “Michaela, it’s really good. You have nothing to worry about.”

  “It is?” she shrieks in surprise.

  “It really is. It’s fantastic. You really need to get this story out, and as soon as possible. I’ve gone over it, and fixed the obvious errors, but I’ve also added some notes to it, too. There are a couple of areas I think can flow better, and some of the transition scenes were weak, so I added my suggestions to it. You of course don’t have to take anything I suggest on board, it’s just I identified some areas of weakness that with a few sentences or paragraphs could be made stronger.”

  “Oh my God. Really? I thought you were going to rip me to shreds.”

  “Why would I do that?”

  “I’ve been watching the indie book author community, and some people just love to rip others apart. And logically, I know not everyone is going to love my story, but I’m hoping there’s more love than hate.”

  “I think you have a great book on your hands, and I was totally drawn into the world you wrote. It’s really fantastic and you should be proud of it. I’ll send the USB drive back with Shayne tomorrow.”

  “Thank you so much. What do I owe you?”

  Geez, I’ve not thought of a price. “Consider this one a freebie, but if you want to use me again, we’ll negotiate a price.”

  “Can I have your number, and I can look at what you did tomorrow and call you?”

  Crap. “Um, I prefer not to give out my number, but I’ll give you my email address. Just drop me a line, and I’ll call you when I get home from work.”

  “Thank you so much, Lily. I really look forward to seeing what you’ve done.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  I’m just about to hang up, when Michaela says, “I want to credit you for what you’ve done. What’s your last name, so I can write it in my acknowledgements?”

  I don’t want to give her my surname, because what happens if Trent ever comes after me? I think quickly on the spot, and I remember my favorite teacher in high school was Mrs. Richards, my English teacher. “It’s Lily Richards,” I say. I need to be wary of Trent.

  “Well, thank you so much, Lily. I really can’t wait to see what you’ve done with my baby.” When she says ‘baby’ I can almost imagine her hugging the paperback as she dances around the floor, holding it. And I smile. It’s sweet for someone to have a passion so intense.

  “Bye,” we both say together, and hang up at the same time. I’m so happy, everything is going really well. I just hope she likes the changes I suggested and the work I’ve done on the book.

  I lie back in bed, and look at the clock. In two hours I’m having a driving lesson, but for now, I kind of want to call Max.

  I sent him a text message when I activated the phone, thanking him and he sent back a text saying ‘you’re welcome’. Other than that short exchange, I haven’t spoken to him since we had lunch last week.

  I scroll through the very few numbers I have, and find his, dialing the number. It rings three times before he answers. “Lily, are you al-alright?”

  “I am. I just wanted to talk to you, see how you are.”

  “I-I’m working r-right now. H-how are you?”

  “I’m sorry to interrupt, I’ll let you go.” I sit up in bed, and cross my legs.

  “No, don’t go. I-I have a f-few minutes. How are you?”

  “I’m really good. I just wanted to thank you again for my phone. It really was sweet of you to buy it for me.”

  “Y-you’re welcome. I f-finish in f-five hours. W-would you like to get a d-drink t-tonight, or m-m-maybe d-d-dinner?” His stutter is worse when he’s nervous. It’s something I’ve picked up on.

  “I have a driving lesson in two hours.”

  “Oh,” he says and I can hear the disappointment in his voice. “M-m-maybe a-another t-t-time.”

  “What I’m saying is I’d love to go but I won’t be back until later in the afternoon.”

  “Th-that’s perfect because b-by the t-time I’m finished you should be d-done, too.” His stutter is better and I can tell there’s enthusiasm in his voice.

  “Great, where should I meet you?”

  “I-I can come p-pick you up.”

  “Um.” Again, I don’t want him knowing where I live, because I want to remain private. I need to be smarter and protect myself until I’m one hundred percent sure the people I let into my life are going to stay.

  “I get it. It’s okay, I u-underst-stand. How about I meet you, say at s-seven?”

  We agree to meet outside a restaurant downtown and then Max tells me he has to get back to work. I go out to find Shayne and let her know what’s happening.

  “Shayne?” I call when I go out to the kitchen and don’t find her.

  Liam comes out of their room. “Hey, Shayne’s having a nap. Are you okay?”

  “Oh yeah, I just wanted to give her the USB drive to give back to Michaela and to let you guys know I’m going out with Max tonight. We’re going out for dinner, so I won’t be around.”

 
Liam pulls a chair out in the dining room and sits down, and invites me to sit at one. I know he wants to talk with me. “Lily, Shayne and I really love you. You’re like my sister and I know she loves you like you’re her own flesh and blood. But what happened last time, I had to pick up the pieces, and she didn’t cope too well when you disappeared and wouldn’t return any of her letters. She was literally devastated, and I can’t watch her go through that again.”

  I sigh, because I understand what he’s saying. “Max is a friend. And you know I didn’t get any of Shayne’s letters. Trent must have thrown them away.”

  “Okay, I know that now. But listen, Lily, if Max is just a friend, you need to tell him that. Because he may be hanging around, hoping he’ll be more than just a friend.”

  “He knows.”

  “No, he wouldn’t. Trust me on this. He’s a dude, I’m a dude. I know how we think. I know you wouldn’t lead him on, but tell him up front and be honest with him. If he wants to stick around and be your friend, then great. Bring him over so Shayne and I can meet him. But if he wants more, then you need to tell him. Because it isn’t fair to him, just as it won’t be fair to you if he starts expecting certain things from you.”

  Damn, Liam is hitting on valid points. I’ll speak to Max tonight so he knows where I’m at emotionally, and that I’m not in the market for a relationship. I can’t give him what he may want, and I know there’s no way I can give him what he needs. “I see your point, and you make a lot of sense.”

  “We don’t want to see you get hurt again. Since you’ve been with us, in just this short time, you’re already different. You smile more, you actually laugh and you look happier. You can stay here for as long as you want Lily; you’ll always have a place here. No matter what happens, you’ll always have a place in our family.”

  I can’t help but let a tear fall. “Thank you,” I whisper.