Right away she replies:
Tell me now, I hate/love surprises.
I message back:
I’ll tell you tonight.
Her response:
Girl, it better be good.
I say:
Oh, it is.
Just as I hit send, Max calls me. “Hello,” I answer.
“Hi Lily. I know you’re at work, and I don’t start until late today. Do you want to have lunch?”
“I’d love that. I go to lunch at twelve-thirty.”
“I’ll meet you downstairs.”
“Okay, bye.”
We hang up and I get to work, pushing the excitement of today to the side and concentrating on what I need to do.
I grab my coat and walk downstairs. The cold has started to ease, and we’re not getting as much snow now as we have been. It’s still cold and we still have snow, just not as much.
I can see Max standing near the checkouts waiting for me. The moment he sees me, his eyes light up and he comes toward me. “Hello, Snowflake,” he says, as he leans down and gives me a quick kiss on the lips. “How’s work?” he asks.
“Today’s been surreal,” I say as we begin to walk toward the café we go to.
“How so?” He moves his hand to link our fingers together, and it momentarily startles me. “Is this okay, may I hold your hand?” he asks, as we slow our walk and he looks to me.
Why does it not bother me? Is it because I’m comfortable around Max and just know he’ll never hurt me? “It’s okay,” I say as he tightens his grip around my fingers. “You’re not working until late?”
“No, I’m only on from four until nine tonight.” We walk to the café, and he opens the door for me. I step through and he then ushers us to the table we’ve pretty much claimed as our own. Max pulls the chair out for me, then once I’m seated, he sits opposite me. “So, I have something to tell you.”
“Hi Lily, hi Max,” Katie, the regular waitress says as she comes to stand in front of the table. “Hot chocolate and a coffee?” She knows our beverage order.
“Yes please,” both Max and I answer in unison. Then I add, “I’ll have the chicken, mayonnaise and lettuce on a white roll.”
“And I’ll have a burger and fries,” Max says.
“Be back in a few,” Katie says and walks away.
“What is it you have to tell me?”
Max reaches for my hands, and plays with my fingers. “One of the apartments downstairs opened up. It’s not yet vacant, but it will be in a couple of weeks. It’s yours when you’re ready to move.”
“Oh, wow.” I look away.
“You don’t look happy. I already told you I’m not going to interfere. Not once.”
“It’s not that.” Gosh, I feel so dumb even worrying about it, and even stupider at the fact I have to tell him.
“What is it then? Because I can assure you, it’s the safest building in town.”
“No, it’s not that.” Yep, I feel really stupid. “I don’t have furniture yet. And I’m not sure I’ll be able to afford a fridge, let alone everything else for probably another month or so. I’ve got a few editing jobs lined up, but until I get paid from them, I doubt I’ll be able to move in.” I take a deep breath. Although I really want to move in, because it is so safe, I’m going to have to do the right thing. “Just rent it out, it’s not fair for you to have to wait for me to have the money to furnish it.”
“No need to worry about that. All the apartments come with a fridge, a washing machine and dryer, bar stools for the kitchen, and a TV and DVD player. The kitchen is fully equipped with plates and everything, and all you need is a sofa and your bedroom furniture.”
“The kitchen is equipped with everything? How does that work?”
“When a tenant moves in, it’s part of the contract they sign. I provide a certain amount of cutlery, plates glasses, things like that. When they move out, we donate them to different charities and replace them with new. It’s part of the fees they pay.”
“I’ve never heard of anyone ever doing that.” Is this too good to be true, or is he wrapping me up in cotton wool because he thinks I’m delicate? “Are you being real with me? Because I’ve never heard of this.”
He looks up at the ceiling, laughing at me. “It is real. It’s part of the reason I can charge what I charge. Just like I offer security at the front door and at the garage below. It’s one of the things I’ve put in place. Look, I’ll stay here and you can go right now and ask the other tenants. I promise you, it’s how I run this complex, along with all the others I own.”
“Huh,” I sigh. Katie brings over our drinks, and sets them on the table. “Well then. Thank you, I accept,” I say once she leaves.
“It still needs to be painted and the carpet replaced once the tenant leaves, so I’d say about six weeks it should be ready.”
Katie’s back within a few seconds, carrying our food. She places it down, smiles sweetly at us, and leaves. “I wanted to tell you something.” I pick my sandwich up and take a bite.
“What is it?” He starts eating his fries first.
“I’ve started the ball rolling for a divorce. It should be final by the end of February if Trent doesn’t cause me any problems.”
“Are you doing it yourself?”
“No, I went to a lawyer and got it started. I don’t anticipate too many glitches, because I haven’t heard a peep from him. Nothing. It’s as if he’s completely disappeared.”
“Let’s hope he never comes near you again. Because truthfully, Lily, I’m not sure he’ll like the consequences if he does.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask as I take another bite of my sandwich.
“It means someone hurting someone I’m very fond of, doesn’t play too well in my books. Not at all.”
The rest of lunch is spent talking about the movie tickets, the books I’m editing, and just about everything and anything.
But Max’s words of ‘someone I’m very fond of’ are at the front of my mind. They don’t seem to bother me, actually, I like knowing Max is protective of me.
Something I’ll need to talk to Katherine about tonight after work.
I can’t believe this last month. Trent didn’t cause me one single problem. The divorce went through smoothly and with that part of my life over with, I’m finally able to breathe. Truthfully, I’ve waited for something to occur. A phone call, a text message, a disturbance at work. But nothing has happened. My lawyer called me to tell me my divorce petition had gone through and there was no contest filed by Trent. I’m now officially divorced.
What a relief! It was like the sun has finally broken through the dark clouds and showed me her sweet rays. Imagine, being in the worst drought of your life, and water pouring from the sky and filling all the catchment areas. It was the biggest sense of relief I’d ever felt.
I was, officially, Lily Anderson again.
The night my lawyer told me I was a free woman, I lay in bed and tried to think about the good times I had with Trent. Looking back, it’s as if I was looking on at the life of a person I didn’t recognize. Almost as if I was an outsider watching the cruel maiming of an animal and was powerless to step in and help. A glass wall was in front of me. I couldn’t touch it, but could only watch and feel everything happening to the broken, wounded girl on the other side.
Of course, every time I was happy with Trent, it was soon overshadowed by the times he hurt me. Those were most painful for me to look back on and watch. I was so frail, so weak yet so strong.
The only sadness I felt, and still feel, is for Trent’s mom, Lina. I can see now she’s as much a victim of domestic abuse as I was, and I have to wonder if there’s anything I can do to help her. But Katherine told me, I need to help myself first, and find who I am before I can even think about Lina. I see her point, and I understand what she’s saying.
I hope one day, Lina will want to save herself, because I’ll be there to help her.
I went to slee
p that night with one chapter of my past ended. But something kept playing on my mind. I tossed and turned all night, instead of the closure of ridding myself of Trent, I had a gaping hole I had no answers for.
Why was I treated so badly by Mom, and then Dad? What happened that made them so resentful they’d hurt their only child? I was no closer to finding the answer. And up until now, I’m unaware why they felt so much hatred and hostility toward me.
I’m about to finish work for the night, and Max has said he wants to take me out. Our relationship is progressing at a tortoise’s speed, but I’m nowhere near ready to take it to any intimate level beyond kissing and holding hands. It’s crazy, I know. Here I am, twenty-five years old and not ready to have a physical relationship.
Max is by far the most patient and beautiful man I know. He’s got his own struggles with his stutter. He’s not much into going out and being in public where he has to communicate with many people. I of course, have stopped hearing his stutter. To me, he speaks like everyone else around me, but I know others find it difficult to understand him. Max has become a regular feature at home, and Shayne and Liam both say how he’s the nicest guy they know.
The two of them are taking the vacation I bought them for Christmas at the end of March, and I’m hoping I’ll be able to move into my own apartment by then.
It’s the end of the work day and I duck into Dale’s office to give him another thousand dollars. I took his advice, and reworked what I charge. I get several emails a day from people who want me to edit their work. I take no more than two books a week, and I’m booked flat until April.
“Hi, Dale, do you have a moment?” I ask as I rap on his door.
“Sure thing, come in. Sit.” He stands and goes over to the little fridge in his office. “Water? Soda?” he asks me as he grabs a soda for himself. “Don’t tell Betsy,” he whispers as he holds up the soda and looks around the office.
“I won’t. I can’t stay, but I have some more money to give you. It’s a thousand.” I hand him the envelope.
“You’re unbelievable, Lily. You really are doing well. You do realize, with this amount here, you’ve paid almost seven thousand on your car.”
“Yes I do. I’ve been keeping track as well. I’m proud of myself.”
“And so you should be.” He takes the money out, counts it in front of me, then writes it in the notebook. “Here, sign this.” He shoves the book toward me, and I sign saying I’ve given him more money. “How’s the car? Are you still enjoying it?”
“Oh my gosh, it’s perfect! I love it. I wish I could thank you again without sounding pathetic and whiney. I really do appreciate it.”
“I know you do, Lily. Even if you never said a word, I know you’re serious and value it, because you’re making an amazing dent in the loan.” I smile broadly at Dale. “Right, get out of here. I still have work to do.”
“Thank you,” I say and leave his office.
I head back to my desk, and pop my head into Peter’s office. “Do you need anything, Peter? I’m just about to leave for the day and I want to make sure you’re okay.”
“Yes, yes. I’ll be fine. My daughter’s birthday tomorrow, so we’re all taking the day and doing whatever she wants. And by ‘she’, I mean Jojo. She dictates what we’re all going to do, and we all go along with it.”
“It’s sweet you can do that. Enjoy your day. I’ll hold down the fort.” I wink teasingly.
“I’ll leave some work on your desk, if you have any problems with it, either ask Dale or leave it and I’ll show you when I return to work.”
“I can stay behind and you can show me now if you like.”
“No, no. You can go. I’ll see you in a couple of days.”
“Have fun tomorrow.”
I get my bag and go down to my car and head home. When I arrive, Shayne’s home but Liam had to stay behind and do some last minute things at work. “Hey, Max and I are going out to dinner, do you want to join us?” I ask when I come in and find Shayne watching TV.
“Nah, Liam will be home soon, and I think we’re going to go out for pizza and then a movie. Hey, how much fun was that premiere we went to last weekend? Such a shame you can’t get tickets like that again.” She sips on some water.
“Yeah, that was crazy fun. Who knows, maybe we’ll get to do it again. Anyway, I’m going to get changed ‘cause Max will be here soon. Will you let him in if he comes while I’m in the shower?”
“No, I’ll make him wait outside.” She laughs at her own sarcastic sense of humor. “Yeah, of course I’ll let him in.”
“Thanks.” I go into my room, quickly grab some clothes then head into the shower.
“Wow, this is a nice restaurant. I’ve only ever been to somewhere this nice once. And that didn’t go too well,” I whisper to Max.
The maître ‘d shows us to our table, pulls my chair out and waits until we’re seated before he stands in front of the table, and with his very proper pronunciation says, “Your waiter will be with you in a moment. The wine menu, sir.” He hands Max the menu, tips his head to me and leaves.
“Correction, I’ve never been somewhere as nice as this.” I feel awkward here, and I’m fidgeting in my chair when Max looks up from the menu and smiles.
“Would you like a red or a white?” I shrug my shoulders in answer. “I’ll order one of each then.”
“Max, I’m happy to drink water. Please, don’t order any wine. You’re driving and I have work tomorrow,” I beg him. “Please?”
“No wine.” He closes the menu and lays it flat. “Do you know what you’d like to eat?”
I’m perusing the menu, but everything looks so good. “Have you been here before?”
“Yes, a few times.”
“Will you order for me then? I don’t know what to get, everything looks great.”
“I will.” He keeps looking over the menu.
When our waiter comes and Max starts relaying our orders, I notice how Max slows his pronunciation down so he’s understood. This is the first time I’ve picked up how Max speaks when he’s outside his comfort zone.
The waiter takes the menus and leaves. “Do you know, it only now occurred to me I don’t know much about you,” I say to Max.
“Ask away, I’m an open book.”
“How old are you?” I ask as I sip on the water the waiter bought to the table.
“I’m thirty-three on September fourteenth.”
“You’re only six years older than me?”
“Don’t sound so surprised. Thanks for the confidence boost.” He looks away, clutching at his chest in mock hurt.
“Sorry,” I mumble though really I’m laughing. “Have you been married before?”
“No, never married. Came close once, until I discovered she was more interested in my money than me. I’ve had two other long-term girlfriends.”
“What happened with them?”
“We drifted apart. We didn’t end on bad terms, just each went in different directions. And I had one girlfriend, who was a friend before; we thought we’d try to see if we could be a couple, but it didn’t last because we’re better as friends.”
“You’re still friends with her now?” I ask in surprise.
“We are. She works for me.”
I dart my eyes away and can feel numerous questions starting to form just from his statement. “Um.” But I’m not sure where to start.
“She runs one of the branches of the firm.” I’m not sure how I feel about this information. I can feel something unsettling in the pit of my stomach, the feeling is foreign and unknown to me. “Hey, don’t worry. She’s married now, and has been for over a year.”
“Worry?” I ask, but my crackling voice deceives us both.
“You looked worried, maybe even jealous.” Is that what I was feeling? Jealousy? “I must admit, it’s kinda sexy.”
“I’ve never felt anything like this before. Is that what it is? Jealousy? Because I feel like I want to scream and shout and tell h
er to back away.”
“Yep, sounds like jealousy to me.”
“Hmm,” I groan. This is completely uncomfortable. This physical reaction is logically stupid. He’s not with her, and I’ve made no commitment to him, nor has he made one to me, so it feels unjustified.
“Anyway, tell me about your day?” Max picks up his glass and drinks his water.
“Actually, I’ve been thinking about something.”
“What’s that?”
“I need closure on my Mom and Dad. More specifically, my Dad. My mom died when I was young, so I can’t get anything from her, but my Dad, he’s the biggest part of my life I remember, before Trent. And I really want to know what happened for him to treat me so poorly.”
“Have you tried asking him?”
“I’m not sure I can face him. And besides, I left when I was seventeen, and I never looked back. Though I still don’t know who was worse, him or Trent.”
“Do you know where he lives?”
“I know where he used to live, I have no idea if he’s still there. I don’t know anything. It’s been so many years, anything could’ve happened to him.”
“I can help if you like?”
“How?”
“I can hire a private investigator, get them to find your dad and see what information they can get.”
The waiter approaches and places our meals in front of us. He asks if we’d like cracked pepper and when we both decline, he leaves us.
“Can I think about it? Although I’m ready to close that door from my childhood, I’m just not sure I’m prepared to find out they did and said all those things to me just because they didn’t want me. I mean, they could’ve given me away, they could’ve put me up for adoption, or they could’ve handed me to the fire department. I just need some time to really consider your offer.”
“My offer is there unconditionally. And once I find a private investigator, I can put him or her in touch with you and you can deal with it directly and share with me the information you choose.”
I cut into my succulent steak and exhale. “You really are something else.”
“Now, can I ask you a question?” I nod as I chew the delicate and juicy piece of meat. “Do you want kids?”
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