The Redemption (Charlotte Bloom Book 2)

by Richardson, Amanda

  “Oh, I know. I remember your little act from yesterday when you dropped your clothes. I haven’t stopped thinking about it.”

  “Perhaps you need a little reminder?” I slowly took a step away from him, beginning to unbutton my parka. We were all alone out here. I could totally “drop trou”. Alec’s eyes were smoldering now, dark and lustful. He could have me here. And I knew he knew that.

  “Charlotte, stop.” His voice was unsure.

  I shook my parka off and flung it to the side.

  “Charlotte,” he said brusquely, appraising me as I began to lift my sweater over my head, covering my eyes momentarily.

  Before I lifted it completely off, I felt him next to me. He grabbed my wrists and my sweater fell down in place.

  “I said stop. You can’t win with sex, Ms. Bloom, as tempting as it may be.”

  “Fine,” I snapped, grabbing my parka and walking quickly away towards the motorcycle. All thoughts of Alec’s emotional well-being were forgotten. My libido was screaming at me and, at that moment, I felt rejected and hurt. As I waited next to the motorcycle for Alec to join me, my eyes downcast, I snuck a quick peek, and he was smiling. He was amused, laughing, and shaking his head.

  Oh Alec… two can certainly play this game.

  ***

  We stopped in at a pub for lunch, parking the motorcycle in the back. The pub was small and quaint, and I felt a stabbing in my chest thinking of Mary and Henry. I couldn’t wait until I saw them again. I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed them. Alec held the door open for me as we walked in, and a rush of warm air greeted us. I pulled out two stools at the bar, ordering a Guinness and a burger. Alec ordered the same, smiling at me as he handed the menu back to the bartender.

  “Guinness is your favorite, huh? You order it a lot.”

  “I have a thing for dark beer,” I said, flirtatiously. “What can I say?”

  “Not a lot of women like Guinness,” he continued, eyeing me suspiciously.

  “I’m not like other women,” I replied, suggestively.

  “You need to stop doing that,” he said sternly.

  “Doing what?”

  “You know what you do to me,” he said, brusquely. “You know, there is such a thing as hate sex. Maybe I could punish you that way. Wham bam thank you, ma’am.”

  My body exploded at his words. My mouth hung open. I could feel my heart racing, and I quickly cleared my throat, trying to think of a good comeback. I was so used to the tender-hearted, loving Alec that sometimes I forgot about the rough Alec, the one that said such crass things. I liked it.

  “I know. Hate sex is sometimes more fun than real sex,” I purred, quietly. Alec shifted in his seat, and I could tell my words were affecting him. “It’s angry and hot, all at the same time. There’s no room for love during hate sex; just pure, animalistic fucking.”

  “Maybe we should try it,” he suggested.

  Before I could say anything, he got up and walked to the restroom, adjusting his pants as he went. I realized my whole body was numb with anticipation, and my nether region throbbed with longing. I uncrossed my legs just as the bartender handed me my beer. Perfect. I needed to get drunk to forget that last encounter. Either that, or go perform a solo act on myself in the bathtub later that night. That’s what Alec did to me—he brought me up so high that I would literally be shaking at the thought of having sex with him. Even if it was hate sex, the thought alone was enough to turn me into a horny, quivering fool. No one had ever had that kind of effect on me.

  I sipped my beer quickly, trying to numb the growing fire in my belly. I want him. I want him so bad. I waited patiently, crossing and then uncrossing my legs.

  He walked back to the bar briskly, avoiding my gaze. He stared at his hands, looking uncomfortable. I felt the beer starting to warm me, and I requested another. Alec looked at me, stunned.

  “That was fast.”

  “I was thirsty,” I answered, coldly.

  “Are you OK?” He glanced up at me like the last hour hadn’t even happened. My eyes softened, and I realized I’d been acting ridiculous. I’d been acting like a teenager—sulky and irritable. He still needs time, Charlotte.

  I nodded, giving him a small smile.

  “Just thinking about the book.”

  “Oh.” He looked disappointed.

  “Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask you, since you never answered my question. Why did you come to L.A.?”

  He stiffened, and I could tell it was still a sore subject.

  “I wanted to see you,” he said simply, shrugging his shoulders. “You weren’t answering my texts or calls.”

  “That’s it?”

  He sighed, rubbing his lips with his fingers. It was distracting.

  “No. That’s not the entire reason.”

  “Do tell,” I said, relaxing back into the barstool, even though I was pretty sure I already knew the answer.

  “I just wanted closure.”

  My heart slammed into my ribs over and over. What?

  “Closure?” I whispered.

  “Yes. Closure.” He eyed me suspiciously. “Can you blame me?”

  “I thought—” My mind drifted to that night. The flowers. The suit. For what… for closure? “You had lilies,” I breathed, as if that was enough of an explanation.

  “Charlotte, I didn’t know what to expect. I thought that maybe you’d already moved on, and I was prepared to accept that. I just needed to hear you say it. So that I could move on, too.”

  “So that’s why you left?” My voice had grown smaller. I suddenly felt sick.

  “Yes.”

  “But it wasn’t—I hadn’t—”

  “I know that now.”

  “I was miserable without you,” I whispered.

  He smiled weakly, and suddenly I was aware of just how delicate this time with him was. He had been prepared to move on. He had been prepared to let me go. The thought grounded me, and I knew I had to make it up to him. The last three months played out in my mind, from Alec’s perspective.

  Boy meets girl. Girl is married. Girl lives on the other side of the world. Boy falls in love with girl. Girl leaves. Girl ignores calls. Girl ignores texts. Girl ignores romantic, handwritten letters. Boy flies to see girl. Girl is kissing another boy. Boy is heartbroken.

  I owed Alec a lengthy explanation. I sighed and looked down. The fire in my abdomen had been extinguished with his sobering confession. Closure.

  “Alec, I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  When I looked up, he was looking at me sadly, and for the first time since seeing him again… he looked vulnerable. The guy was a foot taller than me and could probably take out anyone in this bar and yet, he looked genuinely hurt and defeated, all because of me. I continued.

  “When I left Wales, I thought I’d be back in a couple of weeks. But life doesn’t work like that. The divorce proceedings took several weeks, and I had to get a job and an apartment. It was easy to fall back in to my life there. It was familiar. What I felt with you… it scared me. And you’d called, texted, written letters… and I couldn’t bear the thought of talking to you. I felt ashamed and embarrassed. You were making such an effort, and I wasn’t. It wasn’t because I didn’t love you. I love you so much.”

  “Then why didn’t you return any of my calls? I don’t understand.”

  He looked so desolate that I couldn't bear to look at him.

  “Because I was an idiot,” I said, hoping it’d make him laugh. It didn’t. “I was stubborn. I was afraid that if we tried again, it wouldn’t be the same. I thought that maybe we worked so well because of my… situation. I thought that perhaps us—you and me—only worked because it was convenient and temporary. I missed you so fucking much. It was so perfect. It felt too good to be true, and I couldn’t let go of the small, nagging feeling that it was just a vacation fling.”

  Alec inhaled a sharp breath of air and looked down.

  “Do you still think that?” he a
sked, quietly.

  “No. I can confirm, without a doubt, that it wasn’t a vacation fling. I truly love and adore you, Alec Baxter. I hope to spend the rest of my life proving that.”

  There. I’d said it.

  He hadn’t said anything, and I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. What was he thinking? I waited, slowly sipping my second beer. He had said that he would forgive me, that he would take me back. But looking at him now… our future was dangling by a very fine thread. I had to tread lightly. He could still walk away. I’d been so obsessed with trying to prove myself to him that I hadn’t taken his feelings into consideration. I’d just assumed he would come around eventually. But… what if he didn’t? Suddenly, I was so mad at Mary. She said he’d come to L.A. to propose to me. She had definitely been wrong. Tears sprung to my eyes.

  “Charlotte, what is it?” Alec wiped a tear off of my face.

  “I’ve been so preoccupied with our little game and trying to win your forgiveness that I never even realized that you were prepared to walk away from me. You could still walk away. I wouldn’t blame you.”

  “It’s not like that. Look, I hoped I wouldn't need closure. I hoped, no, I prayed that I would come to L.A. and you would answer the door and we’d be together again. That’s what I wanted. You know that, right?”

  I nodded slowly, letting his words sink in. He continued.

  “That night was weird. You weren’t home, so I waited. I fell asleep in the hallway. I was exhausted from flying all day. And when I woke up, you were kissing that guy. I assumed the worst. I left without thinking there could be a reasonable explanation. I thought—”

  “What?”

  “I thought it was Harry. I thought you’d gotten back together with Harry.”

  “What?”

  He shrugged his shoulders. I started laughing uncontrollably.

  “Harry?!” I screeched, a little too loudly.

  “I thought that’s why you’d been ignoring my calls.” Alec looked resigned. I realized this had been bothering him for some time. “I needed to get one punch in before I left,” he said, a small, boyish glimmer in his eyes.

  “Didn’t Mary or Henry tell you that I’d gotten divorced?”

  “No. I never asked about you. The only thing I’d seen was an email from you a few days before I left for L.A., the one you sent to Katie, saying you were moving on. Katie forwarded it to me. Honestly, I skimmed it. I thought you meant that you were getting back together with Harry.”

  “Now it makes sense,” I said, sighing. “I’m sorry it happened. I wish you’d knocked on my door. You would’ve seen the art I have above my bed,” I explained, and he tilted his head, perplexed. “I kept the lilies you gave me on my last night. They dried perfectly in my suitcase, so I framed them. That’s the only piece of art that I have in my new apartment.”

  His eyes clouded over and he ran his finger along my jaw.

  “Oh, Charlotte. I’ve missed you.”

  “Please don’t leave,” I whispered, and I realized suddenly that that was my one true fear: to be without Alec.

  “Never.”

  He leaned in and kissed me chastely, and suddenly I was aflame. Before I could register what had happened, he pulled away.

  “I thought kissing was against the rules?” I asked, breathlessly.

  “Just this once,” he said, grinning. “You look so beautiful right now.”

  I melted, and I knew at once that things would be OK with us.

  PART THREE

  We got back to the house just before dinner and I excused myself to go change. My jeans and boots were splattered with mud, and my unruly hair needed a good brushing. I decided to shower quickly. I started the shower and quickly checked my phone. I texted Amara to give her an update.

  I am here. In N. Ireland. It’s beautiful. Alec hasn’t forgiven me, but he will. We’re spending every second together. It’s so nice. I miss you already. Xo

  I set my phone on the dresser and glided into the shower joyously. Just as I started to shampoo my hair, I heard rustling in my bedroom. Horrified, I peered through the glass of the shower door. Alec was in my room.

  He saw me and smiled. What was he doing? He walked closer and wrenched the door open. I was naked, but his eyes didn’t travel up and down my body like they usually did.

  “Alec, what are you doing here?” I asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

  “Can I shower with you?”

  I stared at him, my jaw hanging open.

  “If hugging is against the rules, I’m pretty sure showering is as well.”

  “Fuck the rules!” he shouted. “I won’t do anything,” he explained, beginning to strip.

  “I’m not worried about you,” I said quietly.

  “Behave,” he clucked. “I just figured we could save some water.”

  Before I knew it, he was standing next to me, completely naked. I went still, unsure of what to do next. He leaned over and rubbed some body wash into his hands, forming a lather. He came closer and rubbed my back gently. I groaned. This was too much.

  “This is so wrong,” I said, barely audible.

  “Relax, Charlotte. You’re so tense. Relax…” he whispered into my ear, and I felt my entire body slacken against him as he washed me from head to toe. His calloused hands were surprisingly soft and gentle.

  “My turn,” I said, turning around to face him as the last of the soap was washed off. I put some body wash into my palms and rubbed them together. Alec stiffened as I started to wash his chest, and his breathing grew louder and louder the lower I got.

  “Play nice,” he warned, swatting my hand away as it dipped lower.

  “You’re the one who wanted to shower with me,” I countered, smiling playfully.

  He ignored me and stood under the water with his eyes closed, breathing heavily. He must’ve been trying very hard to control himself. His hands opened and closed as he let the water run off of his face.

  I shrugged and continued to wash myself, ignoring the handsome man standing next to me naked and wet. Just as I began to rinse the conditioner out of my hair, I felt Alec’s eyes on me. I turned around and he was watching me raptly. My knees got weak.

  “Can I try something?” he asked cautiously. “Not that,” he added, reading my mind and gesturing to my naked body. “But there’s something I’ve been wanting to do with you.”

  “OK.”

  He grabbed my hand and led me out of the shower, placing a large towel around me. He rubbed my arms to dry me off. I was delightfully reminded of the time I fell off of the horse and Alec saved me. He’d placed my dry jacket over me and rubbed my arms then, too. Oh, how far we’d come. I pulled the towel around me as he quickly dried himself and wrapped a towel around his waist. He grabbed my hand and led me out the door.

  “Alec!” I hissed, looking around frantically. “What are you doing? We have to go to dinner in a few minutes.”

  “We can be late,” he said, his voice thick with longing. He pulled me into his room and shut the door quickly.

  I realized this was the first time I’d been in his bedroom. I looked around. It was sparsely decorated—a shell of a former life—and I realized most of his possessions were with him in Wales. A simple, double bed with white bedding and raw wood framing stood to the left, underneath a window. A white desk, white shelves, and a navy blue armchair made up the rest of the furniture. He had a table lamp on the floor, along with stacks and stacks of books on top of the desk. It was Alec’s childhood room.

  Alec dropped his towel and went into his closet, emerging shortly thereafter with two t-shirts and a pair of boxers for him. He threw one of the t-shirts to me.

  “On,” he commanded, while putting on his boxers and then the t-shirt. I stood still, stunned. “That—you—you’re too distracting. You need a shirt.” Oh, OK. Like that explained it.

  “Alec… what is going on?” I was mystified but I obeyed, dropping my towel quickly and throwing on his t-shirt. It covered me, but barely. I suddenly fel
t very sexy.

  “I don’t know,” he answered honestly, running his hands through his wet hair. God, he looked fucking glorious. “I know this has been hard for you, and god knows it’s been hard for me. I’m just playing it by ear. Please lie on the bed and close your eyes.”

  What?

  I quietly walked over to the bed and lay down on my back, closing my eyes. My heart was beating quickly, sending my pulse whooshing through my ears.

  “You’re so tense, Charlotte,” he said, and I felt him climb on to the bed beside me. Fuck. “Don’t open your eyes.”

  “Yes, sir,” I whispered. My breathing had become labored. I could barely speak. I couldn’t move.

  I felt his warm legs straddle my middle, and his hands reached down and began to massage my shoulders. The weight of him on top of me made me bite my lip to keep from moaning, but pretty soon it became unbearable to keep quiet. I began to moan as he touched me, kneading the skin between my neck and shoulders. Instinctively, I bucked my hips. I needed more.

  “Don’t,” Alec warned. “Still.”

  “This is against the rules,” I breathed out, sucking in air quickly now.

  “Like I said earlier… fuck the rules.”

  “Does that mean…” My breathing stopped altogether. Could it be?

  “No.”

  “Oh.” I tried to hide my disappointment.

  “On my terms, Charlotte. Like I said, I just want to reward you for being so patient.”

  “OK.” I couldn’t think of a rebuttal. I couldn’t think straight at all.

  Suddenly, he moved his hands lower, and now he was massaging my lower stomach, gently, along the sides. It felt so good. My eyes fluttered open momentarily.

  “Shut your eyes, Charlotte,” Alec whispered. “Or else I’ll have to blindfold you.”

  Wait… what? I closed my eyes.

  “Alec…”

  As if he was answering my question, he shuffled lower, straddling my knees now. His hand went lower, underneath the t-shirt, and he began massaging my thighs. I gasped. His movements slowed as he trailed his fingers up, up, up…