Lover

by Marni Mann

  “Good morning, West,” he says.

  “Morning, Lloyd. Listen, Tilly’s parents have a business down here on the beach. It’s a water sports company that they’ve owned for years. Find out what the fair market value is and offer them ten percent above it. Have the paperwork in Tilly’s name, not mine.”

  “No problem. I’ll happily take care of it. But I have to ask, are you only putting it in her name for tax purposes, or is there something else I should know about?”

  Lloyd has been my attorney for my entire career. He made sure my assets were protected when Tilly and I got married, and he’s overseen every financial investment I’ve made. His question isn’t because he’s nosy; it’s because he’ll be the one who handles the divorce.

  “We’re going to be separating,” I tell him.

  Fuck, I should be having this conversation with Tilly first, not Lloyd. I feel like shit, saying those words when my wife hasn’t even heard them.

  “I’m sorry, West. It’s not the news I like to hear.”

  The water laps not far from my sneakers, and I kick at one of the waves. “I want her to be taken care of. I know the purchase of this business will help with that.”

  “Your prenup will help, too. She’ll be awarded a substantial settlement based on the amount of years you’ve been married. As long as she’s reasonable and she invests wisely, she’ll never have to work again.”

  “Good. That’s important.”

  “Should I have my team start drafting the documents?”

  I stop walking and stare at my house up ahead. It’s about a quarter of a mile from where I stand.

  When I married Tilly, I didn’t consider the future. I saw my child growing in her stomach, and I had hockey running through my veins. Nothing else mattered. Not the problems that were bigger than us or the weakness of our love or the only thing that kept us attached.

  And, now, I’m here, on the phone with my attorney, without my child, thinking about a woman who isn’t my wife.

  Tilly and I have been doing it wrong since the moment we met.

  I’m not going to end it that way, too.

  “Let me talk to her first,” I say. “I’ll text you when I’m ready.”

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  I thank him and disconnect the call.

  I make my way in through the back door of my house. I don’t expect Tilly to be awake, but she’s sitting at the kitchen table, in the same seat she was in last night.

  She says nothing as I grab two bottles of water from the fridge.

  I set one in front of her and take the seat across from her. “Before you ask, I’ve been at Piper’s house. I went over there not too long after you went downstairs last night.”

  My wife is one of the strongest women I’ve ever been with. The only time I’ve seen her cry is the morning we lost our son. She’s more inclined to get angry, to attack with words, to put up a defense to hide what she’s really feeling.

  It’s there now. A mask of anger. Thinned out lips, crossed arms over her chest, eyelids narrowed as she glares at me.

  There are times I just want to unwrap those arms and shake her, beg her to show me who she really is, what she’s feeling underneath it all. Maybe my honesty will make her do that.

  At this point, it’s all I have left.

  “I didn’t fuck her,” I say. “But I have in the past, times when we weren’t swinging.”

  “I know.”

  I shake my head. “How?”

  “You don’t chase me like you used to, so I know someone else has been getting your attention. Then, I smelled her on your face when you came home from your morning run. I didn’t know it was her. I just assumed.” She isn’t even yelling, but her voice is sharp.

  “Why didn’t you say anything?”

  She breaks our eye contact and looks out the kitchen window.

  I already know the answer to my question. Shit between us just works. It’s easier to stay together than to separate. It isn’t like she isn’t getting laid. She pretty much does what she wants with the security of having more money than she needs and without the worry of having to get a job.

  When she glances back at me, she shrugs. “I’m saying something now.”

  “Where’s your fight, Tilly? You’re not going to let things end this easily, are you?”

  “You were never mine to begin with. You were just on loan. I’ve always known that. And, once we lost him…”

  I see a crack in her face, but it doesn’t last. The softness leaves as quickly as it came.

  “I knew it was just a matter of time before I lost you, too. I figured I’d have you for a few more seasons. I just didn’t expect you to get injured and for us to move here and have all this time together. Ironic, isn’t it—that time is the thing that eventually drove us apart?”

  It’s the tamest conversation we’ve ever had, and it shocks the hell out of me.

  My wife is anything but tame.

  Something is keeping her reserved, and I want to know what it is.

  “You were awake that morning when you smelled her on my face. You’d showered, your hair was wet, and you reeked of lotion. What were you hiding from me?”

  She smiles, her eyes almost gleaming. “Don’t put this on me. I’m not the one who strayed.”

  “I’m not accusing you of that. I’m just asking where you were.”

  Her smile doesn’t fade at all, and that alarms me.

  “I woke up and took a shower, and then I decided I wanted more sleep. I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I was home, in our bed, where I should have been. But I can promise you something, West. If another man’s cock had been in my mouth that morning, I wouldn’t have put my lips anywhere near yours. I would have had the decency to at least wash my face and brush my teeth first. Just because I swallow doesn’t mean I have to share the leftovers with you.”

  I deserved that. Every word of it.

  It isn’t who I am, and I fucked up.

  “It was wrong. I’m sorry, Tilly. We’ve always had the kind of relationship where, if we wanted something, we could be honest with each other. I didn’t do that, and I should have.”

  She shrugs again. “It wouldn’t have changed anything.”

  Somehow, I have to make this better. Maybe by giving her what she asked for, I’ll seem like less of an asshole.

  “I talked to Lloyd this morning, and he’s going to have the papers drawn up for us to buy your parents’ business. He’ll offer a fair price, and he’ll transfer the funds once everything is signed.”

  She sits taller in her chair, her eyes now full of excitement. “Did he say how long it would take?”

  I shake my head. “As long as they agree to the price, I’m sure it can happen pretty quickly.”

  “Does that mean you’re going to have a say in the way I run it?”

  “I want nothing to do with the business. I’m buying it for you, Tilly. You can run it any way you want. It’s yours.”

  “All mine?”

  I lean my arms on the table, crossing my hands. “Yes. All yours.” Her eyes tell me she doesn’t believe me, but I don’t bother repeating myself. It won’t help.

  “I’m sure that’s not the only thing you spoke to Lloyd about.”

  I glance down at my fingers. This is harder than I thought it would be. I care about her, and I don’t want to hurt her. I just don’t love her as hard as I should. “I told him I wanted to speak to you first.”

  “She’s really who you want?”

  I finally look up, meeting a face that’s full of disgust. “This isn’t about Piper.”

  “What does she do for you? I mean, I know what my body is capable of and how pleased I’ve kept you all these years. But she’s married to a man who likes cock, and she didn’t even know it. And that’s who you want to be with?”

  “I told you, she has nothing to do with this,” I repeat, trying to keep my tone down because yelling won’t get us anywhere. “I’m not leaving you for her. I’m ju
st leaving you.”

  She stands and walks over to the sink, keeping her back to me. When she turns around a few minutes later, I can tell there are so many things she wants to say.

  But the only thing that comes from her lips is, “I’ll sign whatever you need me to. It’s all spelled out in our prenup anyway, so it’s not like I can ask for more.” Then, she goes into our bedroom and closes the door.

  I switch out the water for a beer, knowing it’s a little early to start drinking but not giving a fuck, and I go out onto the deck.

  Something is up with my wife. She acted way too relaxed about this whole thing.

  But, right now, the only thing I’m truly worried about is Piper.

  Piper

  My head’s throbbing, and my mouth’s so dry. I feel like I ate a bag of flour and washed it down with sawdust.

  “I’m never drinking again,” I grumble as I step out of the shower and pad across the tiles to the bedroom.

  Cannon’s sitting on the end of the bed with his head in his hands. He looks like he hasn’t slept at all. For some reason, that makes me happy. I’d have been pissed if he had come in here with his perfectly styled hair and ironed suit like nothing had happened last night.

  Everything happened.

  Our entire world changed.

  Because of him. And because I care so much about West.

  “How long have you been here?” I ask. When I got in the shower, the house was quiet. “And how did you get inside?”

  “I got the spare from my parents’ house,” he says. “Don’t worry, they didn’t ask any questions.”

  “Are you staying?” I ask him as I adjust my towel. I’m too naked to be having this conversation.

  “I called off work.”

  “Why? Won’t you miss seeing your boyfriend?”

  I’m halfway to the closet when he shoots off the bed and grabs my arm, spinning me around. “Stop it, Piper. I deserve more than that.”

  “You deserve more?” I scream. “You deserve nothing, Cannon. Nothing!”

  “I don’t deserve to be thrown out of my house. Or to be treated like I’m some kind of freak because I don’t have a sexual preference. I’m still me. The same man who has slept next to you and taken care of you.”

  He has taken care of me. I’ll give him that, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s lied to me.

  “Why are you looking at me like that?” he asks.

  “Like what?”

  “You’re looking through me, Piper. Like I’m not standing right in front of you.”

  “Then, maybe you shouldn’t be.” It’s a mean-spirited comeback, yet it’s the truth.

  I’ll never be able to look at Cannon as just my husband. Every time I see him, I’ll think about what I saw him doing with Tilly, and those thoughts will lead me to even wilder ones. Like what he shares with a man I’ve never met. A man who knows my husband’s body so intimately, that he can please Cannon in ways I’m not capable of.

  Cannon drops my arm and closes his eyes. “I’m sorry I disgust you,” he whispers. “I’ll make arrangements.”

  That’s not it at all. I would never hate him because he’s gay even though he swears that’s not what he is. Yes, imagining him with another man is nearly impossible, but that’s only because he’s never been anything other than my boyfriend and then my husband. If we were nothing more than friends, I’d support his choices and all of his decisions. I could even get over the fact that he hid such a big secret from me.

  As his wife, that’s just not possible. If we stayed together, he would have to give up that side of his life. But, since it’s not a choice for him, our only option is to separate.

  “I’m sorry, Cannon. I’m sorry you’ve had to hide all these years. But I can’t pretend I’m okay with you being with another man while you’re with me. Tilly was one thing, but this is just completely different in my mind. That doesn’t mean I don’t want you to be happy. I do.”

  “But you’re done, right?”

  “We’re not the same people anymore, Cannon. Right now, I feel like I hardly know you. We can’t keep pretending we’re okay when we’re not.”

  Before I take another breath or say another word, he wraps his arms around me and holds me so tightly that I start to cry. Cannon was my first true love. And, now, he’s about to become my first heartbreak.

  He could have saved us this pain if he’d just been honest with me from the start. But, in my heart, I know we never would have made it past the second date. All the good times we’d shared that shaped me into the woman I am wouldn’t have happened. Because of that, I’m almost glad I never knew. Almost.

  “I’m waiting for you to yell at me. The way you do when you throw shit and swear a lot.”

  “You’re lost, Cannon. I can’t yell at you for that.”

  “But what happens when I let go of you, and I’m not here? What will you do then?”

  “I’ll figure something out,” I tell him. “Don’t worry.”

  “But I don’t want to break you, Pipes.”

  “I could yell at you until I was blue in the face, but what good would that do? You’d still feel like shit. I’d cry until I couldn’t breathe. We’d get nowhere. My only regret is that I wasn’t who you needed me to be so that you could have told me sooner.”

  “No,” he says right away. “Don’t say that. I spent years hating who I was because all I wanted was to be whole. You made me whole, baby. You. It wasn’t anyone else.”

  I’d love to believe that, but the truth of the matter is, he needs two people to be complete. Lately, three even though I wasn’t doing a very good job.

  “Cannon, if you keep worrying about making other people happy, everyone will be happy but you. You have to figure out how to love yourself first.”

  He sits on the edge of the bed and waits for me to put some clothes on. The entire time I’m dressing, my heart’s racing, but I’m proud of myself for not ripping his head off like I thought I might. He wouldn’t deserve that.

  After I’m dressed, Cannon stands back up and holds out his hand. He leads us into the living room, and as soon as I see a stranger sitting on my couch, I take back every promise I just made to myself in the bedroom.

  All it takes is one glance, one little bit of acknowledgment, and I can tell the man in front of me is the same man who Cannon’s been sleeping with. There’s a crackle of electricity, a change in Cannon’s posture, and more uncomfortable silence than I know what to do with.

  My husband’s standing in the same room with the two people who mean the most to him, and I’m running out of air to breathe.

  I feel it.

  I notice.

  They have something. Something more than just sex.

  And that breaks every remaining piece of my heart.

  “Get the fuck out of this house,” I tell him. And then I turn to Cannon. “Why did you bring him here?”

  “He’s a lawyer, Piper.”

  “So what? So are you.”

  The man on the couch hands me an envelope. I stare at it for a minute before I take it from his hand. “What’s this?”

  “Divorce papers,” he says. “And, if you ever try to keep Cannon out of this house again, I’ll have more papers for you.”

  Tears well in my eyes until I can barely see the outline of Cannon. Here I was, thanking my lucky stars he was being civil and I was holding it together, and then he goes and does this. I should have known he didn’t show up to just keep the peace. He finally has freedom, and no more secrets.

  Cannon’s ready to live his truth for the first time in his life.

  I tuck the envelope underneath my arm and look back and forth between the two of them. “He’s all yours.”

  And then I storm out of the house with no clue as to where I’m going. All I know is, I can’t stay here.

  West

  I can’t live in our house anymore. It isn’t because Tilly and I are fighting. She’s still being cool as hell, and she hasn’t given m
e a hard time since we separated. It just feels wrong to be sharing a house with her when I’m sleeping with Piper, and Lloyd is drawing up our divorce papers. So, I moved into a hotel about a mile down on the beach and rented their largest suite.

  Lloyd tells me the divorce won’t take more than a few months to finalize. The prenup makes things pretty straightforward. We no longer own a home together, so we have no real estate to sell and split. I get to keep everything I brought into the marriage, and she gets a payoff that’s a percentage of what my hockey salary was annually for only the years we were married. She can’t touch any of my investments, endorsement deals, or the businesses I bankroll that now pay me dividends.

  That doesn’t mean Tilly is getting fucked financially. It’s quite the opposite. She’s days away from owning her parents’ extremely successful company, and the sum she’ll be getting from me is impressive as hell. Even if I hadn’t bought her parents’ place, she would have been fine. Now, her monthly cash flow will be more than enough for her to continue living the lifestyle she had with me. She’s looking for a house to buy on the beach, and she sold her engagement ring for a brand-new Range Rover.

  Since I moved into the hotel, Piper has been staying with me. Cannon wouldn’t leave the house, so she had no choice. He turned out to be a real bastard, serving her with divorce papers the morning after she found out he was bi and having an affair with a man. He’s determined to make this as difficult on Piper as he can, freezing their assets until everything’s resolved. Even though financials in a divorce are divided equally in Florida, he’s trying to fuck her out of their savings. With her not returning to work until August, she’s on a tight budget. I know she had reservations about moving in with me. She’s worried that it’s too soon, and she’s upset that she can’t contribute to the cost of the room. She made me promise that I’d allow her to pay me back half the cost. She even keeps a running tab of how much she owes me for the food I buy.