Lover

by Marni Mann

“I don’t trust you, Andi.”

  I’d never given him a reason not to. If anything, he was the one who turned heads everywhere he went, but unlike him, I was not a jealous person.

  My scalp still burned, but I needed him to see I was not scared anymore—even if I still was. Reaching out for him, I grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer until I could wrap my arms around his neck. I held on, praying the kind and caring man I had fallen for came back to me.

  Slowly, Brooks rubbed my back and kissed my neck. “You’re mine, Andi,” he whispered. “I need you.”

  I wanted out the second he laid his hands on me, but I was more afraid to walk away than to stay. To me, staying was the right thing to do because I believed in my heart, it wouldn’t always be this way. His anger was nothing more than growing pains, and once we got used to living together, he would worship my body again.

  With time, it would get better.

  Only it never did. It only got worse.

  “You’re right, Camille. I can do this. I need to do this.” There’s no going back once I walk out that door.

  “And you will,” she whispers with a sad smile. “You can be whoever you want to be now. You’re finally free.”

  “Almost,” I remind her. “I still have to get through tonight.”

  She places my last pair of sneakers on the pile and forces the top of the suitcase to meet the bottom. The zipper protests, but she somehow manages to get it closed.

  “This suitcase will be waiting for you at the station in the morning. I’ll have your ticket and all the paperwork you’ll need to get on the train.”

  A simple nod is all I can give her. The back of my throat is burning so much, I feel like it’s slowly closing. Though it’s nothing like the feeling of almost passing out when Brooks’s hands almost crushed my windpipe.

  “Thank you, Camille. I owe you the world.”

  She takes my hand and tells me, “You have an incredible job lined up in Pennsylvania. You getting there and finding yourself again—that’s all the thanks I’ll ever need.”

  “And you’ll check on Charlie? Saying good-bye to him was the hardest thing I’ve ever done—besides this.”

  “I promise, he will always be warm, and he’ll never go without a meal. You’ll see him again someday. I know you will.”

  I’ve thought about taking my friend Charlie with me, but there’s no way I can manage it right now. The logistics are too much, and his entire world is here in the city. Whether he’s living on the streets or not, Manhattan is where his heart will always be. Though his reality isn’t any prettier than mine, he wouldn’t be Charlie if he were anyplace else.

  “It’s time,” I tell Camille. “I can’t do this anymore.”

  With a reassuring squeeze, she says, “There’s no going back, Andi.”

  I’ve endured enough pain.

  I’m ready to start over.

  I’m ready to start living again.