Mr. Darcy's Forbidden Love-kindle

by Webb, Brenda

  Elizabeth laughed, her eyes twinkling in amusement. “I thank you, but my father says that I am too apt to walk with my head down, and I am afraid he is correct!”

  Suddenly she noticed the man standing beside the older woman and her smile vanished, replaced by a look of apprehension. Colonel Fitzwilliam had to have known what transpired between his cousin and her at the ball. Could it be that he was here to reprove her? At any rate, her courage rose to the occasion and a look of boldness replaced the one of dread. Performing a quick curtsey, she mumbled, “Colonel Fitzwilliam,” then turned this same brave expression on the woman.

  Immediately she recognised what she had not seen before—the resemblance to Mr. Darcy. Could this be his mother? The lady looked every inch a member of high society, from her elegant coiffure to her jewellery and expensive gown; even the way she held herself spoke of wealth and privilege. Elizabeth’s heart began a furious drumming.

  Trying not to smile at the determined expression on Elizabeth’s face, Richard declared, “Miss Bennet, how good to see you again. Allow me to introduce my aunt, Lady Audrey Ashcroft. Aunt, this is Miss Elizabeth Bennet from Meryton in Hertfordshire. We met at Lord Holmes’ residence several days ago when she and I were visiting. She was also at the Holmes’ ball, and you may have met her there.”

  Lady Audrey could barely disguise the admiration in her reply. “I did not have the pleasure of meeting you at the ball. I am very pleased to make your acquaintance, Miss Bennet.”

  The name Ashcroft sounded familiar, but Elizabeth could not recall where she had heard it. “Milady,” she murmured bobbing another small curtsey.

  The older woman’s discernible inspection was unsettling, and Elizabeth was about to excuse herself and walk on when Richard spoke again.

  “As I was just saying to my aunt, I must return to my office. The general expects a report from me this afternoon. What good fortune it was to meet you here! Would you mind greatly allowing her to continue her walk with you?”

  There was no polite way to refuse. “No. Not at all,” Elizabeth murmured.

  “Wonderful!” Then addressing his aunt, Richard continued, “I suppose I shall see you this evening. You will be present for dinner, will you not?”

  Lady Audrey leaned forward to receive Richard’s peck on the cheek. “I would never miss the opportunity to dine with you.”

  Richard’s gaze shifted to Elizabeth. “Miss Bennet, thank you for allowing my aunt to continue her walk. I wish you both a good day!” With that, he tipped his hat and started across the large expanse of green towards his carriage. And it was at that very moment that Elizabeth remembered where she had seen the name Ashcroft—on the letter that Mr. Darcy left in the book delivered to her at Longbourn. She turned to her new acquaintance with a puzzled expression.

  William’s aunt smiled. “I hope my company is not that hard to bear.”

  At first mortified that her misgivings were so marked, the woman’s ready smile caused Elizabeth to calm. “I am sorry if I appeared to be unhappy with your company. But I must confess that I was startled by your resemblance to a gentleman of my acquaintance; the likeness is remarkable. You could be his mother.”

  “May I ask if you are speaking of Fitzwilliam Darcy?” At Elizabeth’s nod, she smiled. “Fitzwilliam’s mother, Anne, was my sister, and I am told that we favoured each other a good deal, just as he favours her. Both his parents died years ago. The only immediate family that he has left is his sister, Georgiana, who is but fourteen.”

  Elizabeth was mortified to feel relief that the Georgiana mentioned in the letter was his sister and hurried to change the subject.

  “I must be candid. I have the feeling that our meeting was not happenstance.”

  “No wonder my nephew is in love with you. You are not only very pretty but very intelligent.”

  “If you have come on Mr. Darcy’s behalf, I must warn you that I do not wish to discuss him.” She began walking purposefully and Lady Audrey hurried to join her.

  “I confess that this meeting was planned. Forgive my boldness, but I only mean to be of service. I was in the garden that night at the ball and could not avoid overhearing your conversation with my nephew. I am convinced that you are as in love with Fitzwilliam as he is with you.”

  Elizabeth’s pace picked up briskly. “Love built on lies is not love at all. I no longer respect him, so thankfully any tender feelings I had towards him will be short lived.”

  “Will they?”

  Elizabeth halted, seemingly confused.

  “And even if short lived, I thought you more inquisitive than that. Do you truly wish to go through life with no understanding of the man? Not even for your own peace of mind? I can assure you that no flaw in your character caused you to trust Fitzwilliam Darcy.”

  Elizabeth began a slower pace. “I...I wish I could believe that.”

  “Know this! I would never defend a dishonourable man, even if he were my relation. But I have known Fitzwilliam since his birth. Who better than I to tell you the truth of his situation? If you choose to hate him afterwards, that is your prerogative. Society tries to keep our sex ignorant under the guise of protection. I have always ascribed to the notion that it is better to know the truth than to hypothesise for the rest of your life. And I have lived long enough to know that regret is a hard taskmaster.”

  Elizabeth stopped dead, considering her words. “I am certain that you love Mr. Darcy very much or you would not be here. Do I have your word that you will not embellish the explanation in order to promote his cause?”

  “You do. I would never lie for him nor would he want me to! All I ask is that you never repeat what I shall relate to you. I am certain that, once given, you keep your word, otherwise you would not be the kind of woman my nephew could esteem.”

  “You may trust me. And I shall listen, but only because I want to understand my own foibles.”

  “I understand completely.”

  Thus, Lady Audrey spent the next half-hour telling Elizabeth of her nephew’s disposition and of his dedication to his family which led to his sham of a marriage. She did not share the part about Georgiana’s paternity, something that she had just learned, but simply that Gisela was extorting him with some personal letters belonging to his mother. At some point in time, Elizabeth was so affected by the story that she stopped walking and dropped down onto a nearby bench. She did not try to hide the tears that slid from the corners of her eyes. Lady Audrey took the seat beside her, and once the account was finished, they sat silently for some time.

  “He… he would do all this to keep from breaking his dying mother’s heart and to protect his sister? It is hard to believe any man could act so selflessly.”

  “Not any man. My nephew is a special breed.”

  Elizabeth stood shakily. “I… I thank you for caring enough to tell me this. And I am relieved to find that his character is not so dissimilar to what I had sketched at the start of our acquaintance. That helps to restore a bit of faith in my own judgement. But why would he not have been honest with me from the beginning.”

  “Am I correct to assume that he did not lie, but he omitted to tell you that he was married?”

  “Yes.”

  “I surmise that he fell in love with you against all reason, and for once in his life, he wanted to know how it felt to be truly in love, if only for a short while. Everyone familiar with him knows that he has held himself under strict regulation since his marriage, making certain never to be alone with any eligible woman. Your experience in the flood and afterward was something completely out of his control. However, I am confident of my nephew’s character. I dare to say that he never meant to harm you, nor did he act the cad while you were alone. He did not take advantage of you.”

  “No, he did not.”

  “Precisely! He left Meryton straightaway. If he were a cad, he would have stayed and exploited your feelings, as many men of his station have done to innocent young women.”

  “You say he is in love w
ith me. Why has he not sought me out to explain?”

  “He was trying to protect you by letting you go, but he has not been able to put you out of his mind. Then when he learned that your family was prepared to accept the likes of John Wilkens as a possible suitor, he knew he could not allow it.”

  When Elizabeth did not reply, William’s aunt stood too. “He has resolved to divorce Gisela. It may take years before he is successful, but when he is free, I have no doubt that he will search for you.

  “Men like him only love once. I know because my late husband was cut from the same cloth. I would never attempt to give you advice, but I will say that if you truly love him, it would be well worth the wait to have such a man. That kind of devotion comes along only once in a lifetime, if at all.”

  Lady Audrey reached to take Elizabeth’s hand and squeezed it. “It was a privilege to meet you, Elizabeth Bennet. I feared that my darling boy’s honour would prevent him from ever knowing the joy of true love. Just to know that for a short time he loved you and you returned that love—well, it restores my faith that if two people are meant to fall in love, they will.”

  Elizabeth’s voice was rough with emotion as she whispered, “I… I do not have the luxury of choosing my future, and my family is determined I shall make a suitable match whilst I am in London.” She raised her tear-filled eyes to Lady Audrey. “I have four sisters, you see.” At the lady’s nod, she continued. “Will you tell Fitzwilliam that I understand and that I forgive him?”

  “Will you not speak to—”

  Elizabeth shook her head violently, “Explain to him why I cannot wait and ask him to let me go.” Then she ran down the gravel path in the direction of her aunt’s house.

  As Audrey Ashcroft made her way to the waiting carriage tears slid down her own cheeks. Would it have been better not to have come—for Elizabeth never to have known?

  No! At least she knows that he did not mean to deceive her—that he loves her. She deserves that much.

  It was with a much heavier heart that she entered the carriage to return to Darcy House. Now she must face the man who loved this intrepid young woman.

  ~~~*~~~

  The Gardiner’s residence fairly buzzed with excitement as Elizabeth returned to find Lord Wilkens’ carriage stopped in front. Elizabeth took a deep breath to steady herself as the front door was opened for her, and a very excited Madeline Gardiner immediately hastened her inside. Servants hurried from the kitchen to the parlour, trays of sweets and coffee carefully balanced in their hands.

  “Is it not fortunate, Lizzy? Lord Wilkens is in the study with your uncle. No doubt he is here to ask permission to court you! Hurry now! Go to your room and change into your best gown. I should not want him seeing you in this old muslin. What would he think of his future wife should he see how worn this gown is?”

  What indeed?

  ~~~*~~~

  During the trip back to Grosvenor Square, Lady Audrey reflected on the woman who had stolen Fitzwilliam’s heart. She had actually looked forward to meeting the young lady and discovering what made her unlike any other woman of her nephew’s acquaintance. Not surprisingly, she had found more than one trait to admire in Miss Bennet.

  Though she is not beautiful in the conventional sense, she is striking—with the most unusual dark eyes. More importantly, she practically glows with joie de vivre—something my nephew desperately lacks in his life.

  She chuckled to herself. She is intelligent enough to have realised that Richard and I were not there accidentally and was willing to confront us—something else I admire. In addition, it is obvious that she possesses a kind heart. Yes, I can understand why any man would be in danger of falling in love with her.

  She took a deep breath to calm herself, the dull ache in her heart now almost unbearable. She had to appear composed if she was to be of any use to Fitzwilliam, but since she loved him like a mother, she grieved to envision the results recounting their conversation would produce.

  I pray this does not push him over the edge of reason.

  ~~~*~~~

  Darcy House

  William’s Study

  “You say you left Aunt Audrey with Elizabeth an hour ago? What could be keeping her?”

  “Calm down, Cousin! She is sure to return soon.”

  William continued to pace back and forth across the room, running his hands through his hair as he was wont to do when he was upset. Propped against his cousin’s desk, Richard could barely keep from chuckling aloud.

  “You are not helping, Richard!”

  Just then the door opened and their aunt entered. She motioned for the butler to leave and turned to close the door behind her. When she faced them, her expression told William all he needed to know, and he sank down in the nearest chair. His entire countenance changed as the truth sank into his heart—Elizabeth would not be his.

  Lady Audrey walked over to her nephew, placing a hand on his hair to smooth it as she exchanged a meaningful glance with Richard. “Do not despair, Fitzwilliam. She knows the truth, and given time to think about it, she may change her mind.”

  “She cannot forgive me.”

  “She does forgive you. She told me as much.”

  “Then why?” William asked. Noticing his aunt glance to Richard, he assured her, “Speak freely. I have no secrets from Richard.”

  “She asked me to tell you that she understands and that she forgives you. She also said that she does not have the luxury of choosing her future. Her family has made it clear they expect her to make a match while she is in Town. She cannot wait for you.”

  His head dropped into his hands. “I cannot let her go.”

  “You may not have a choice. If they find a suitable—”

  “Suitable? That cad Wilkens is suitable?”

  “Fitzwilliam, you must calm down. You cannot force her to wait for you. I felt strongly that she should know how you feel about her, and that was my intent in going to her. Now that she knows, she must decide what her course will be.”

  “It would have been better had I never seen her again—had I never contacted her.”

  Richard exclaimed, “You cannot believe that! She needed to know your heart. And once she sees that you are determined to divorce, she will change her mind. You will go through with a divorce, will you not?”

  “I have determined that I will divorce Gisela, but with Elizabeth’s dismissal, there is no pressure to begin quickly. I shall wait until Georgiana has returned to Pemberley from Ramsgate and I have explained everything to her. After she knows the truth about her father, I will begin.”

  “Why wait? If you start now, it could give Elizabeth hope. She might change her mind.”

  William raised both hands in surrender. “I know you mean well, Richard, but do not give me false hope. It is probably for the best. Gisela would have ruined Elizabeth had she learned that I love her.” He stood up. “If you do not mind, I am going to my room. I need a little solitude.”

  He walked over to place a kiss on his aunt’s forehead. “Thank you for all you have done.” Then looking to Richard, “For all the both of you have done. I do not deserve such loyalty. Now, if you will please excuse me.”

  With those words he walked toward the door, turning to give them a wan smile before quitting the room. Richard hurried to the open door to watch his cousin go down the hall, each footstep appearing to take more effort than the last.

  “Is there no hope? Does she not care enough to wait for his divorce?”

  “I do not think she feels she has any choice in the matter.”

  “Are you certain that she ever loved him?”

  “That is the one thing of which I have no doubt.”

  ~~~*~~~

  Chapter 15

  Kent

  Rosings

  A Study

  Appearing every inch the refined gentleman in his new attire, Wickham drank the expensive brandy he had purloined from Lady Catherine’s liquor cabinet minutes before as he inspected the room she used as a
study. Admiring the splendid blue papered walls, cream and blue oriental carpets, fine furniture and priceless paintings with envy, he had just begun to calculate the value of a delicate china figurine with gold trim that sat atop the mantle when he was startled by the sound of a slamming door. As he spun around, the Mistress of Rosings walked past him wordlessly, settling herself in a large chair behind the enormous desk. She sat motionless and silent, studying him.

  Waiting for me to speak as usual! Why must I always play the subservient fool?

  Taking the seat in front of the desk, he reluctantly obliged. “Pray, what is the reason for this summons? I was set to return to Ramsgate when your letter arrived. Coming here has caused me to fall behind schedule.”

  “I sustain you! Thus, I determine your priorities!” she hissed, opening the middle drawer of the desk as she spoke. Withdrawing a missive, she waved it about as though she expected Wickham to know what it contained. “Apparently I was mistaken to put any trust in Gisela’s abilities. First, she failed to produce an heir which would have compelled Fitzwilliam to stay with her, and despite her assurance that their marital difficulties would keep him occupied, that proves not to be the case!”

  Wickham swirled the amber liquid in his glass before slowing taking a swallow. The old bat is getting addled! He finally replied condescendingly, “I have no idea to what your ladyship refers.”

  Despite her agitation, Lady Catherine kept her explanation brief. “My solicitor, Mr. Ferguson, had informed me that Fitzwilliam has hired a retired colleague of his to investigate our joint venture. This man he hired, Lowell, has already called on Ferguson to peruse the accounts and indicated he is going to inventory the mills. He was persuaded to undertake the inventory first, thus granting time for Ferguson to complete the quarterly report. I do not wish for him to see any of the records nor will I permit him to ask questions concerning my affairs.”