by Debby Holt
She was sipping it with deep appreciation when she saw her sister walk straight pass her. She called out after her and grinned at her reaction.
‘Your lovely blonde hair…’ Tess said. She took a chair opposite Anna. ‘I can’t believe it.’
‘Oh.’ Anna waved a careless hand. ‘I fancied a change.’
‘You’ve succeeded. You look totally different.’
‘I want to look different. I want to be different.’
Tess rolled her eyes and took a seat opposite Anna. ‘This guilt trip you have is ridiculous and… This is typical of you. It’s so extreme…’ She stopped as the waitress came towards them and asked for coffee. Anna ordered scrambled eggs, smoked salmon and toast for them both.
Tess leant forward. ‘Just so you know, brunch is not on you. I’m not sure I can cope with you being so nice to me all the time. It’s a little unnerving.’
‘I’d take advantage of it while you can. You know what I’m like. Normal service will soon resume. How did you get on at work yesterday? I was lucky not to kill any patients. I kept falling asleep.’
‘Me too.’ Tess rested her elbows on the table. ‘I’ve some news. Mum rang me on the way here.’
Anna had a brief vision of her mother wading into the water and laying into Xander Bullen. ‘How is she?’
‘She’s still at home. Dad has flu and she’s looking after him. She sounds pretty ill herself but she says it’s just a cold. She plans to come back to London later this week. I’m not sure where she’ll stay.’
‘Won’t Neil be waiting for her?’
‘No. He’s off the scene. Mum broke up with him on Wednesday evening.’
‘But…’ Anna stared at Tess. ‘I saw her Wednesday evening.’ She could remember everything she’d said. She’d been, even by her own standards, spectacularly unpleasant. And her mother had run off, in order presumably to break up with the man who might have made her happy. There is no way, Anna thought, I can begin to make things up with her.
‘It must have happened after she saw you,’ Tess mused. ‘Did she say anything about him to you?’
‘No,’ Anna said. ‘Not a thing.’
‘It’s all very odd. I asked her if there was any chance of her and Dad getting back together…’
‘Well?’ Anna prompted. ‘What did she say?’
Tess shook her head. ‘The way she sees it, Dad chose to believe in Xander rather than in her… Oh, Anna, don’t look like that, it’s different for you.’
‘No,’ Anna said, ‘it really isn’t.’ She clasped her hands round her hot mug. ‘So what will happen when Dad’s better?’
‘Mum’s moving back to Darrowbridge. Dad plans to rent Percy’s house. She said she’ll tell us all about it on Thursday evening.’
‘I’ll be on duty then.’ She was almost relieved.
The waitress arrived with Tess’s coffee. ‘You two sisters?’ she asked.
Anna nodded. ‘How can you tell?’
‘The hair, of course. You don’t see hair like that very often. Your breakfast won’t be long.’
Anna caught Tess’s eye and grinned. She put her mug to one side and leant forward. ‘So Mum sounded all right then?’
‘She was great,’ Tess said. ‘She wants to pay for me to have counselling. I told her I’ve organised it.’
‘Have you?’
Tess nodded. ‘Marnie’s put me onto her lady. She says she’s great.’
‘Marnie?’
‘William’s cousin. That’s why I couldn’t come with you on Wednesday. I rang her as soon as you gave me her number. When she visited Durham, she’d just finished her A-levels and was unsure about her university choices. William had invited me to supper and then had to dash off to his hospital. So Marnie and I spent most of the evening together and we got talking…’
‘About university choices?’
‘We dealt with them quite quickly. And then she told me something terrible. She’d been raped by one of her school-friends a few months earlier. She said he didn’t seem to think he’d done anything wrong. She said that sometimes she wondered if he had. When William eventually got back he found two very emotional women. He was great actually but… the next morning I felt so embarrassed. Apart from Rachel, I’d never talked to anyone about Xander. I couldn’t face seeing him after that.’
‘So William knew…’
‘He promised he wouldn’t tell you. I felt so ashamed.’
‘But you could see what Marnie went through. Why couldn’t you…?’
‘It’s quite easy to give advice to other people. It’s taken me a while to believe I could be different if I wanted to be. Anyway, at least I’m going to try. Marnie was very encouraging.’
Their meal arrived and, as they tucked into their eggs, Tess had more good news to impart. ‘I had supper with Rachel last night. I was so tired I nearly cancelled but I’m so glad that I didn’t. Her brother was there. He’s landed another great part in some Hollywood blockbuster. In six weeks’ time he’s off to the States for at least seven months. He wants me to look after his house again. Same rent as before but with two extra responsibilities. Besides the cats, he’s now acquired some goldfish and a Bonsai tree. I’ll be back in London Fields. I can’t wait.’
Her sister, Anna thought, had acquired a whole new energy. Tess had a meeting with Geraldine in a couple of weeks and more work to be done on Sir Walter. Anna felt she did a good job of hiding her own feelings but it obviously wasn’t that good. When they said goodbye, Tess hugged her and murmured, ‘Don’t worry too much about Mum. You’ll sort it out.’
Anna had no such confidence. It wasn’t just her mother. It was William too. His past tentative attempts to get her to spend more time with Tess now took on a whole new meaning. She had, she felt, let down all those she loved.
And then on Sunday she had an email from him.
‘Here’s a photo of one our hospital admin staff. Wife of Miss Diamond’s ex. See the resemblance?’ Attached was a photo of a woman with blonde hair in a smart grey suit. She was older and slimmer than Anna but she had the same short haircut and blue eyes. Anna couldn’t believe that Miss Diamond’s dislike of her was fuelled by a vague similarity with her ex-husband’s partner. Even so, she felt warmed that William had cared enough to suggest it.
On Tuesday, Anna carried out a Caesarean section. This was only her second and she took care to arrive in good time. At least there were no complications to worry about. This was Harriet Arnold’s first baby; it had proved to be breech and a Caesarean had been advised. Harriet’s husband, Ed, a giant of a man, stood clutching his wife’s hand while Anna and the rest of the team worked. His features only relaxed when Anna pulled out the baby and he said, ‘Oh Harry, you lovely lady, we have a son and he’s beautiful. Oh Harry, he’s beautiful!’
And that was when everything went wrong. Harriet began to haemorrhage. The baby was placed with the neonatologist. As the red and seemingly endless flow of blood oozed out, the anaesthetist said sharply that he’d have to put Harriet to sleep for a while. Harriet’s husband stared desperately at Anna who told him gently he’d have to leave. The anaesthetist moved in, the husband was moved out and Anna tried to ignore the scared faces around her.
She began to massage Harriet’s womb but still the blood flowed. She asked for a drip to firm up the uterus and help reduce the bleeding and then, trying to keep her voice firm, asked the anaesthetist to help with more drugs. Nothing was working. Anna’s brow was drenched with sweat and she called out desperately, ‘Can someone find Miss Diamond?’
After what seemed an eternity, Miss Diamond arrived. She pushed Anna to one side and barked orders for instruments, blood and further doses of drugs. Then she placed a B-Lynch suture round the womb. Anna held her breath and watched as the womb at last fell into line and began to contract; slowly, but surely, the blood settled.
There was an awestruck silence, broken only by the sound of Miss Diamond’s heels on the hard floor as she left the theatre.
The anaesthetist looked across at Anna. He said slowly, ‘The last woman I saw in this situation had to have a hysterectomy.’
Anna nodded. ‘I think Miss Diamond might just be a genius.’
An hour later she went to see her. She knocked on the door of her office and went in. Miss Diamond sat behind her desk, sipping her coffee, cool as a cucumber, just as if she performed life-transforming surgery every day of her life. Perhaps she did perform life-transforming surgery every day of her life.
‘Miss Diamond,’ Anna said, ‘I wanted to thank you. What you did for Mrs Arnold was magnificent. I felt so useless. I tried everything I could; I didn’t know what to do next.’
Miss Diamond put down her cup. ‘Of course you didn’t. You’re a junior doctor. You’re here to learn from people like me. For the record, you did everything correctly.’
‘Thank you,’ Anna said. She turned and went to the door.
‘Doctor Cameron?’
Anna waited for the inevitable killer comment. ‘Yes?’
‘I like the hair,’ Miss Diamond said. ‘It suits you.’
Freya rang Tess on Wednesday night and said she’d be staying in Darrowbridge for the time being. Felix’s flu had turned into bronchitis. She suggested Tess came down to them for the weekend.
Stepping down from the train on Friday night, she could see her mother waving and was attacked by nerves. She wasn’t sure what she dreaded most – the thought that Freya might want to talk about Xander or, the more likely scenario, a weekend of careful, tactful avoidance.
It appeared that Freya had no time for tact. As she drove them away from the station, she said briskly, ‘Let’s deal with Xander Bullen right away, shall we? I should tell you that Felix and I called on him the day after we Skyped you.’
‘What? How did you…?’
‘He lives in Hampshire,’ Freya said as if this explained everything. ‘The journey was easy. We confronted him and he more or less admitted he’d pretended to be interested in me in order to conceal the fact that he was targeting you.’
‘Oh.’ Tess swallowed. ‘What’s he like now?’
‘He’s a creep,’ Freya said. ‘His wife is young enough to be his daughter so, as the French would say, plus ça change. You were the victim of a very nasty man and Felix and I will never forgive ourselves for failing to keep you safe.’
‘Mum, if Dad hadn’t believed you were having an affair with him, he’d never have left you.’
‘That’s something else I need to deal with. If your father and I had had a healthy relationship, he would never have fallen for Xander’s lies and he certainly wouldn’t have kept them to himself for so many years. Your father and I broke up because our relationship was wrong. None of this is your fault.’
‘I can’t believe you went to see Xander. He must have been terrified.’
Freya gave a small, tight smile. ‘I don’t think it was the best day of his life.’
‘Right.’ Tess lapsed into a brief silence. ‘How is Dad?’
‘He’s a little better. The doctor’s put him on antibiotics and he’s bored stiff with being an invalid. I left him getting dressed. He’s determined to join us for supper. I should tell you his face looks a little battered. He fell and hurt himself last weekend. He’s so looking forward to seeing you.’
‘Me too.’ She glanced at her mother. ‘Anna sends her love.’
‘That’s nice.’ Freya turned into the drive and stopped the car. ‘Here we are,’ she said.
Tess gave a long sigh. ‘It’s good to be home.’
Any diffidence Tess felt as she entered the house was soon overturned by the eruption of Serge, who barked furiously at her for a good three minutes until deciding she might be a friend. She had thought it would be difficult to be together with her parents but they made it very easy. There was a slight formality between them, a new diffidence in her father’s tone whenever he addressed her mother. But, almost, one could believe things were as they should be.
Freya had excelled herself with roast chicken and all the trimmings, followed by apple crumble. Over supper, Felix put a hand on Tess’s arm and said gravely, ‘I have something to say.’
Tess reddened. ‘If it’s about Xander Bullen…’
‘It isn’t. I wouldn’t dream of blighting this evening by mentioning him. It’s Scotland. I believe you start your Reading Week in a fortnight?’
‘Yes, but…’
‘Hear me out, Tess. You and I did at one point talk about travelling up to Scotland together. Now in fact… What is it, Serge?’
Serge’s paw was scratching at the French windows and he uttered urgent little whining noises.
‘I expect he can smell a fox,’ Freya said. ‘I’ll let him out.’
Felix watched Freya rise from the table. ‘I’ve promised Ma I’ll go up to the Commune for a few days. She’ll never forgive me if I don’t go. You can come down here on the Thursday evening and then we can drive off together in the morning.’
Freya returned to her seat. ‘You can get the night train down from Edinburgh on the following Saturday and be back in London on the Sunday.’
‘It’s my treat,’ Felix said. ‘Your mother has gone online and done the sums. I want you to go and I want you to see your friend, Jamie.’
‘I would love to go with you,’ Tess said, ‘but I don’t even know if Jamie wants to see me.’
‘Then you’d better go and find out. Do you like him?’
‘Yes. Very much. But…’
‘In that case, go, Tess. I rarely give you advice but I know of what I speak. If you’re lucky enough to find someone who can make you happy, don’t mess it up. Do your best to make it work or you’ll always regret it.’
In the silence that followed they could all hear Serge barking somewhere in the garden. Freya pushed her chair back. ‘I’d better go and see what he’s doing.’ She went across to the French windows and disappeared into the darkness.
‘Dad?’ Tess reached for his hand. ‘If you really believe all that, why are you planning to move into Percy’s house? Why aren’t you doing your best to get Mum back?’
Felix gazed out after his wife. ‘Believe me,’ he said, ‘I’m working on it.’
By the end of the following week, Felix was better. He was determined to go back to work after Scotland. He would spend the next week organising Percy’s house, he said. When he came back from his holiday he’d spend one last night at home and then move in the next day.
He assured Freya he could sort out Percy’s house on his own. Freya announced they would do it together. In fact, it was a relief to them both to spend the days sorting out cupboards, packing up boxes and cleaning floors. In the evenings, they collapsed in front of the television.
When Tess arrived on the Thursday night, she seemed to be alight with anticipation. The next morning, Freya stood in the doorway with Serge and waved goodbye to the travellers. Tess gave one last dazzling smile before the car disappeared round the corner. Freya hoped they’d been right to encourage a meeting with Jamie. It was ironic to think that it was only now when she and Felix were splitting up that Tess was at last confiding in them.
She went back into the house and put Serge down. She felt dispirited about the weekend ahead of her. She’d planned something special for Saturday and on Sunday morning there’d be a visit to Ivy. It still left the evenings to get through. She squared her shoulders and went to the kitchen to find her shopping list. Serge followed her and sat down on his back legs, his head to one side, his protuberant eyes gravely regarding her.
‘I know,’ she told him, ‘I try to be positive. I’m off to the supermarket. The weekend will be fun.’
Serge regarded her with a sceptical expression.
She got back at eleven to find the postman had visited. She put the letters on the hall table and then brought in the food bags, flowers and wine carrier. Serge barked ecstatically at her return. Already she couldn’t imagine life without him. She put the kettle on for coffee and went throu
gh to the hall to collect her post. There was a handwritten envelope addressed to Freya Cameron, c/o Felix Cameron. She opened it, raised her eyebrows and took it through to the kitchen.
‘Dearest Freya, I am writing to let you know that Eva has been most gracious and taken me back. I want to apologise for my extraordinary behaviour the last time I saw you. As I said at the time, I was thoroughly inebriated but that is no excuse. I hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me. I shall always remember you with love and affection. I hope that one day we can meet for a meal and laugh about all this. I think about you every day and shall always treasure our time together. Neil.’
Freya found matches in the kitchen drawer. She dropped the letter in the sink and set fire to it. It made a bright, brief flame but left a black mark on the sink that took some time to eradicate.
She spent the rest of the day making up beds, cleaning the house and preparing the evening meal, stopping only to take Serge for a walk in the woods. At seven, she realised she had no idea which train to meet. She was about to make a call when the doorbell rang.
‘All right, Serge,’ she said. ‘Keep calm.’
Anna stood in the doorway, clutching a huge bouquet of red roses. She looked as nervous as Freya felt.
‘Hello, Mum,’ Anna said, and then her voice broke. ‘Please… can we start again, please?’
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
All three of them were nervous. In the front of the car her father and grandmother maintained a dogged conversation about the weather while Tess sat in the back, twiddling her hair with her little finger and telling herself that she hadn’t asked Jamie to have her over today.
They dropped her off by the Abbey ruins. ‘I’ll keep my phone on,’ Felix told her. ‘If you decide you want to join us, we’ll be at Burt’s Hotel for at least the next hour or so. And then after that, we’ll be enjoying the delights of the Autumn Fair so…’
‘I’ll let you know what I’m doing. Don’t worry. Have a good lunch.’ Tess got out of the car, gave a cheerful wave and crossed the road. She walked up the lane and stopped outside Jamie’s house. Once again, she was struck by its familiarity. Almost, she felt, it expected her to be here. It gave her courage. She knocked firmly on the front door.