If the Shoe Fits

by Sandra D. Bricker

  “Well, you have a nice time, Austin. And give my love to Robin when she gets home, huh?”

  “I will, Mom.”

  “I love you, honey.”

  “Love you, too.”

  Julianne heard the beep indicating that the online call had disconnected, and she reached around her mother to shut down the computer.

  “I’ll never get used to technology,” Amanda told her, reaching for the cookie scoop. “Why don’t you give me that and I’ll finish up.”

  “You’re just afraid my kitchen mojo will ruin your precious boy’s birthday cookies.”

  “Don’t be silly,” she said, but she got up from the chair and headed straight for the bowl on the counter. “I thought I’d wear my green chiffon to your big function Saturday night. Would that be all right?”

  “I love that dress,” she said, curling her legs beneath her on the chair and leaning on the table. “You look pretty in green.”

  “Thank you, sweetheart. It’s not a full-length or anything.”

  “That’s okay. Neither is mine.”

  Amanda turned around and gazed at her. “You’re not wearing an evening gown?”

  “No. It’s more like a party dress. I found it at a vintage shop in Clifton. It has this very full skirt with crinoline underneath. It’s very pretty.”

  “I’m sure anything you wear will be lovely,” she said, returning her attention to the cookies. “You always know just the right thing.” After several beats, she tried on her most offhanded tone of voice as she asked, “Are you still going on the arm of the boy who doesn’t want to see you anymore?”

  “Yes, Mother,” Julianne droned. “And I hope you’ll be nice to him in spite of his obvious lack in judgment.”

  “Julianna Margaret Bartlett. I am always nice.”

  She giggled. “Yes, you are. I’m sorry.”

  “I should hope so.”

  “And if it makes you feel any better, I did ask Will if he would take me instead.” Her mother reeled around, cookie scoop in the air and hopeful anticipation in her smile. “But he turned me down.”

  “Oh, he did not,” she said, pivoting back toward the cookies.

  “No, he actually did. He’s taking that horrible Lacey James instead.”

  “Well, why would Will do that? Unless, of course, he’s finally given up on you.”

  Julianne’s stomach turned over, leaving her wondering if she’d eaten too much raw cookie dough.

  “What do you mean, given up on me? Will’s never had anything but friendship in mind for me, Mom. You know that. Besides, I’m still waiting for the fairy tale.”

  “The shining prince on the white steed,” Amanda remarked.

  “Yes. But he won’t ride in on a horse. In my fairy tale, he’ll understand that I don’t really like the idea of riding on horseback. I’ll just turn the corner one day, and there he’ll be. A complete and wonderful surprise.”

  Her mother loaded two cookie sheets into the oven and leaned across the stove to set the timer.

  “You know the funny thing about fairy tales, honey? They’re just stories. Besides, no one reading them ever expects a big unexpected plot twist or has a single doubt about who the prince and princess are going to end up with at the end of the story. That’s not the interesting part anyway.”

  “No?”

  “No. The interesting part is how they get there. But I believe that God has an even better ending than any old fairy tale for you, honey.”

  “I’m really glad you called,” Alison said as she removed a slice of LaRosa’s Roma Focaccia pizza and slipped it to her plate. “I hoped I’d have a chance to talk to you before I leave with the kids.”

  “You didn’t say,” Will replied. “Where are you taking them?”

  “Camping, down in Natural Bridge.”

  “I went hiking there with some buddies when we were in high school,” he told her as the waitress filled their iced tea glasses. “It’s beautiful.”

  “I’m really hoping for good weather. There are six chaperones, and almost thirty third and fourth graders.”

  Will drew a large cross in the air between them with his hand. “May you be blessed and safe, my child.”

  Alison chuckled. “From your lips to God’s ears!”

  After a short silence filled with consuming a slice of pizza, Will’s iPhone buzzed.

  “Go ahead and get it,” Alison told him.

  He checked the caller ID and saw that it was Judd. “Nah,” he said, letting it go to voice mail. “It’s a friend of mine from law school. I can catch up with him later.”

  “I love this place,” she said as he tucked the phone back into his jacket pocket, and she ran her finger over the curve of the L on the front of LaRosa’s menu. “I used to come here with my dad when I was a kid.”

  “Us, too,” Will told her. “Then we’d walk next door and get a double scoop of mint chocolate chip from Grater’s.”

  “Ohh,” she growled. “I haven’t had Grater’s in forever! I love those giant hunks of chocolate in the chocolate chip!”

  “It sounds like we have a dessert plan,” he suggested.

  “Well,” she began, and Will caught the faint shadow of regret in Alison’s remarkable eyes. “You may not want to have dessert with me, Will.”

  Several funny comments sprang to mind, but he felt relieved that he didn’t give in to any of them when he saw the concerned expression that had washed over his date.

  “What’s up?” he asked instead.

  Alison sniffed and tossed her dark auburn hair over her shoulder, giving Will the impression that she didn’t want to get to the heart of it.

  “I think you are the most wonderful man, Will.”

  “Uh-oh.”

  “You’re kind and funny and sweet, and we seem to have so much in common.”

  He pushed his plate forward and leaned back, crossing his arms. “Okay.”

  “It’s just that I’m not one of those people who welcomes a challenge, at least when it comes to romance. Do you know what I mean?”

  He lifted his eyebrows into an arch and shook his head. “Not even a little bit.”

  “If it happened naturally for us, that would be one thing. I’d be all in,” she explained. “But I don’t really want to play the dating game.”

  “Ohh, Alison, look,” he said as her meaning began to dawn. “If you got the wrong impression when we ran into Holly at the lake, she and I are really over. We have been for—”

  “No, no,” she interrupted with a raised hand. “No, I believe you. This isn’t about Holly.”

  “What then? Not Lacey? I mean, there’s nothing going on there at all. I wouldn’t even have mentioned it, but—”

  “Will. It’s not Lacey either.”

  He scratched his head and narrowed his eyes curiously. Despite the fact that her meaning was becoming far more clear, he asked anyway. “Who—or what—are we talking about then?”

  “Julianne, Will. We’re talking about Julianne.”

  Will picked up the red cloth napkin from his lap, wiped his mouth, and tossed the napkin to the table as he waited for her to continue. Suddenly, the tomato sauce and oregano wasn’t sitting quite right.

  “You’re obviously in love with her, Will. I mean, your exfiancée looks just like her! And until that’s resolved, I just don’t see anything happening for you with anyone else. Including me.”

  He didn’t know what to say. A denial pressed on him, but he respected Alison too much to out-and-out lie to her. He actually did have feelings for Julianne. But he’d hoped those feelings wouldn’t sabotage every relationship as he tried to move on without her. How was he ever going to truly press on if women kept breaking up with him over Julianne? Hadn’t he and Holly broken up with virtually the same conversation about a year ago?

  “I don’t know what to say,” he admitted, shaking his head as he stared down at the pizza between them.

  “You don’t really have to say anything,” she reassured him with a
smile. “It is what it is, Will. You love her. You’ve probably always loved her.”

  He sighed and looked away. “Please don’t say that.”

  Alison reached across the table and touched Will’s hand. “You two obviously have a whole history of complications that you don’t have to talk to me about if you don’t want to, Will. But you’re a good guy. You deserve to find love. I hope you can see your way clear to find it with the woman who so obviously has your heart.”

  The waitress appeared at the table just then, and Alison pulled back her hand.

  “Is everything all right?” she asked. “Was the pizza all right?”

  “It was first-rate,” Will told her honestly. “Just like always. We’re just not as hungry as we thought. Would you mind boxing it up for us?”

  “Sure.”

  She picked up the platter and hurried away from the table, and Alison caught Will’s eye and smiled at him.

  “I’m really sorry,” he told her softly.

  “There’s no reason to be sorry. I’ve really enjoyed the time we’ve spent together. I have no regrets, and I hope you don’t either.”

  “No,” he said, shaking his head.

  “I’m up for an ice cream cone before we head home though,” she offered hopefully. “What about you?”

  He smiled. “Sure.”

  After he paid the check, Will grabbed the pizza box. The two of them walked out the front door in silence. Just as he pulled Grater’s door open and held it for Alison, she turned to him and wrinkled her nose.

  “What?” he prompted.

  “I hope you won’t think I’m horrible.”

  “You want a double scoop?”

  “Well, yes,” she said with a giggle. “But that’s not what I mean.”

  “What then?”

  She looked at him seriously, so intensely that it made Will want to squirm a bit.

  “Well. I was just wondering if … if you’d have a problem with it if I … umm …”

  “Spit it out, Alison,” he joked.

  “The thing is,” she began, and she inhaled sharply. “I really liked your friend Alec when I met him at the stables. I was wondering … you know … if it would be okay …”

  “You want to go out with Alec.”

  “I really do.”

  Will shook his head and grinned. “It’s fine.”

  “It is? Really? Because I get the feeling that he might like to go out with me, and I’m really attracted to him. I even thought about just picking up the phone and asking him out, but of course I had to have this talk with you first…. I’m sorry, Will.”

  “No need,” he told her. “But you’re buying my ice cream.”

  After he dropped Alison at her house, Will stopped home to check on his dad. He inched open Davis’s bedroom door and found him snoozing in the recliner in the corner, soft yellow light from the floor lamp beside him illuminating the shadows of his aging face, a book open across his chest with his reading glasses propped precariously on it.

  Will inspected the spine of the book. The latest John Grisham. His father certainly did love his crime mysteries. He’d thought about buying that one himself the last time he’d gone browsing for new material for his e-reader. As he moved the book and reading glasses to the nightstand, he wondered about ordering an e-reader for his dad, something simple with a backlight. He retrieved a blanket from the closet and spread it over his father. Flipping off the lamp, he crept out of the room and closed the door.

  He grabbed a bottle of juice from the refrigerator and made his way outside to the deck, settling into one of the oversized chairs and propping his feet on the railing as he checked his messages.

  Just one, from Judd.

  “Will, it’s Judd. Look, I’ve been trying to reach you for a while. I wanted to talk to you about a pretty great opportunity here at the firm. I remember you saying you wanted something different from corporate law after so long with B&B, and we’ve got a really great opportunity to expand an entertainment law division. Production contracts, publishing, things like that. I have to make a decision in the next couple of weeks, buddy, so give me a call and let me try to sway you. Or better yet, I’m going to be in Cincy for a few days, and I’ll call you while I’m there. And you better pick up! You’d be a natural to head this division for us, Will. Talk to you soon.”

  Will set his phone down on the table and sighed. Entertainment law. His friend was right; it was something different for him, but it might still call for someone with some corporate experience in their back pocket. He wanted to think about it more, but his heart just wasn’t in it.

  The moon hung especially low, a full, silver orb against a clear starless sky. A sudden flash of light from the corner of his eye dragged his attention to the edge of the property where the first fireflies of the season signaled the approach of summer.

  The quiet chirping of crickets lent harmony to the lyric of Alison’s earlier declaration, now burning a pinhole in the blanket of his memory.

  “You’re obviously in love with her, Will. I mean, your exfiancée looks just like her! And until that’s resolved, I just don’t see anything happening for you with anyone else.”

  He took a swig of juice and let the icy liquid soothe his dry throat as he wondered why he hadn’t noticed the resemblance between Holly and Julianne straightaway. Oh, people had pointed it out from time to time, sure. But now that he propped them up together against the backdrop of the dark night sky, he couldn’t miss it.

  How pathetic am I?

  He wondered how long he’d been walking around Cincinnati in search of Julianne’s replacement before he finally ran into Holly. He chuckled and shook his head as he tossed back another gulp of the cranberry juice.

  He’d run into her in a very literal way, nearly knocking her off her feet as he flew past her in Walgreens on his way to the pharmacy to fill one of his father’s prescriptions before court. They’d ended up talking for thirty minutes while they waited, and their first date had been for dinner at The Grand Finale the following night. Holly’d had spinach crepes, the same dish Julianne always ordered there; Will had chosen a steak. They’d split a bananas foster for dessert.

  Regret left a sour taste to follow the tart cranberry juice. He’d been so unfair to himself, even though he didn’t realize it at the time; not to mention what it had done to Holly, holding her up to the shadowy reflection of another woman in hopes that she might actually live up to it.

  Will closed his eyes and tilted his face to the sky. With a sigh, he whispered out a prayer.

  “Never again, Lord. Please forgive me, and don’t let me do that to another woman, ever again.”

  He leaned forward, clasping his hands and resting his elbows on his knees as he stared out into the night. With a shake of his head, Will pressed his forehead against his hands and continued to pray.

  “Maybe I should take that job with Judd in Lexington after all. Maybe I should pack up my dad and move down there, and leave Julianne behind me. Maybe my only chance of getting past her is to get off this hamster wheel and out of the cage.”

  A gentle breeze caressed his face as he lifted it. It felt so good on his skin.

  If Jules was here, she’d say it was a sign. A sweet tickle from the hand of God to let me know that everything is okay, that He has everything in hand.

  But Will couldn’t escape the sudden notion that perhaps the soft breeze coming at just the moment that he actually considered Judd’s offer, considered leaving Julianne behind at last—maybe for the first time—was confirmation that the idea was a good one.

  Go ahead, he imagined God had said to him. Follow this new path. It’s sweet escape so you can get some perspective, so you can breathe again.

  Will chuckled, realizing he’d slipped into a Julianne frame of mind, imagining signs from God around every corner and on the wings of every waft of air.

  “Or maybe,” he said right out loud, “it’s just a final spring breeze on a random Ohio night.”

&nbs
p; Will went into the house long enough to grab one of the dozen battery-operated hurricane lanterns his dad had purchased with possible electrical outages in mind.

  “In case of a tornado or a storm,” Davis had defended when Will came upon his stash under the kitchen sink. “It’s always good to be prepared. Wait’ll you see the light these things throw off.”

  He’d been right about that. Just one of the lamps easily illuminated the whole kitchen.

  Will swung through the living room and grabbed the Bible he’d left on the end table next to the sofa before returning to his chair out on the deck. After downing the last drops of cranberry juice, he opened the Bible, set it on his knee, and began to read at random from the book of Isaiah.

  “Do not remember the past events, pay no attention to things of old. Look, I am about to do something new; even now it is coming. Do you not see it?”

  Will laughed out loud at that. He’d been looking for permission to move forward away from Julianne. Perhaps he’d just found it. The Lord certainly knew that a move to Lexington—or even just a shift of thinking where Julianne wasn’t the center of his universe—would assuredly be “something new.”

  But then again …

  Alison’s words suddenly scraped across his memory: “It is what it is, Will. You love her. You’ve probably always loved her.”

  Fessing up and telling Julianne how he felt—how he’d always felt—well, that would also be a brand-new road.

  A terrifying and life-altering brand-new road.

  Suddenly, a move to Lexington didn’t seem quite so crazy.

  “I’ve been thinkin’ about Mandy, Son.”

  Will glanced up at his father over their plates of scrambled eggs.

  “What about her?”

  “I think she spends too much time lookin’ after me instead of livin’ her own life.”

  Will couldn’t resist the quiver of a smile. “Really.”

  “She needs to meet a good man, Will. There’s still a lotta life in the old girl, and she can’t see the forest for the me.”