Never Mind The Botox: Rachel

by Penny Avis

  ‘Right, guys, let’s get going. We need to work out a way to divide the work up. I’ve had a look through the files and the sales are split by the top five procedures and then by the rest. They have most of the information set out at the front of the sales records for each month. So Rosa, why don’t you take the top five, AJ, you look at the rest, and I’ll start work on the client base.’

  Rachel read from the files. ‘Right, these are the top five procedures: breast augmentation, liposuction, adominoplasty − that’s a tummy tuck, I think − face lifts and nose reshaping.’

  ‘I’d take the lot if I were you,’ said AJ, laughing.

  ‘Shut up,’ said Rachel, smiling too. ‘Now, if you can both go through the files. We need to look at the trends over the last couple of years − which areas are growing fastest, what are the average prices by procedure, et cetera, et cetera.’

  As well as the top five, Rachel looked at the very long list of other procedures being offered. It had all the things on it that she’d thought they might do, and some!

  ‘Okay, everyone clear?’

  AJ and Rosa both nodded.

  Rachel divided up the files and left herself with the one entitled ‘Client master file’. The Equinox Practise wanted details of the client base, average age, spend levels, frequency of visits, that sort of thing. Rachel began looking through the records. She should probably start by looking at average ages, but instead she found herself just flicking through the records looking at the client names. But after more than an hour of looking, Rachel hadn’t seen one name that she recognised. How disappointing. Still, it was only day two: plenty more time to play celebrity spotting. It would take them a few days to get through this part of the job and then they’d be ready to start meeting the doctors.

  After three days of working through the files of information out at the Beau Street Group, Rachel headed back into the office. She started to go through her in-tray, checked a few emails and then rang Shali.

  ‘Hi, guess who’s in the office?’ said Rachel.

  ‘Rachel! Great, about time. Urgent meeting, Bar Q, lunchtime,’ said Shali. ‘I have a couple of managers working with me today so I’ll bring them too.’

  ‘AJ and Rosa are still out at the client’s, so it’ll just be me. Is Nat in?’

  ‘Think so. I’ll email her. Can you book a table?’

  ‘Yup, will book one for twelve thirty. See you then.’

  Nothing like a quick team lunch to recharge the batteries, thought Rachel. Shame she didn’t have any juicy celebrity stories yet.

  Bar Q was a modern brasserie style restaurant set in a waterfront development about five minutes from Rachel’s office. It was also a popular meeting place after work, priding itself on having one of the biggest choices of wine by the glass in London. The others were already there when Rachel arrived, sitting in a large booth with black leather seating. After they’d ordered, the conversation soon turned to Rachel’s project.

  ‘So, come on,’ said Shali. ‘How’s it going?’

  ‘Fascinating,’ said Rachel. ‘I can’t tell you anything about the deal, obviously, but it’s going to be a real eye-opener. I just can’t believe the range of procedures they do…’

  ‘Oh yes, it’s a really fast growing market,’ piped up one of the managers working for Shali. ‘There’s almost nothing that you can’t get done now,’ she continued. ‘And you can travel abroad for treatments, which sometimes cost less than half what you’d pay here. Your business needs to watch out for that, Rachel. The only issue really is if you need lots of follow up consultations. Prague is apparently quite popular. The magazines are full of it.’

  She suddenly stopped as if she’d only just realised what she was saying. The others looked at her. She certainly didn’t look like a cosmetic surgery expert, or if she was, she should be asking for her money back.

  ‘Yes, I’d heard that about Prague. Thanks, I’ll bear it in mind,’ said Rachel. Sensing the manager’s embarrassment, she quickly changed the subject. ‘So what’s the news in the office?’

  ‘Ooh, invites to the department’s summer party are out,’ said Shali. ‘Have you got yours?’

  ‘No, not yet,’ said Rachel. ‘Still going through my in-tray.’

  ‘It’s with other halves this year, so Shali is already in a panic about who to bring,’ said Natalie.

  ‘I am not!’ said Shali. ‘Spoilt for choice more like.’

  Rachel felt slightly sick. Work events with Harry were a nightmare. He hated them and in the past had nearly always ended up drunk and badly behaved. The director promotions were not that far away and she couldn’t afford any more horror stories.

  ‘I’m so glad it’s black tie too − gives us a chance to dress up for a change,’ said Shali.

  Aah! Harry hated getting dressed up even more. The whole thing was going to be a disaster. Rachel briefly wondered if maybe she shouldn’t tell Harry and then pretend to work that he was ill on the day. But she soon realised that was far too risky: someone was bound to mention it to him at some point. She’d just have to talk to him and explain how important it was. He would have to get used to the fact that this was part of the programme.

  As they walked back to the office, Shali and Rachel dropped back behind the others.

  ‘So what was all that with your “I’m off to Prague” manager?’ Rachel asked.

  ‘No idea,’ said Shali. ‘Sounded like she’d been doing some serious research to me.’

  ‘Maybe just helping a friend,’ Rachel suggested generously. ‘Just like Natalie with her request the other day for the cost of a boob job, allegedly for her make-up artist friend.’

  ‘God, I’d forgotten about that!’ said Shali. ‘She doesn’t need a boob job − she looks great already, bitch. No need for her to worry about what frock to wear to the summer party. She could wear a duvet cover and still look fab.’

  ‘Unlike Miss Prague, who could definitely do with running up a few air miles,’ said Rachel.

  They both laughed loudly.

  ‘Shali, I’m so worried about the summer party. Harry hates that sort of thing. You know what he’s like,’ Rachel said.

  ‘You’ll just have to tell him that he needs to behave. All that bar diving and dropping his trousers has to stop. Next time it might be a client function and then what will you do? He’ll have to grow up at some point.’

  ‘I know but I don’t think that’s quite how he sees it somehow,’ said Rachel.

  ‘Well, you need to make him see,’ said Shali.

  After a quiet weekend (Harry was off on a jolly with some uni mates), in which Rachel did little more than lie about, watch TV and eat ungodly amounts of cheese and crackers, Monday morning saw her heading back out to the Beau Street Group. She’d decided to forget about the summer party for a while. There was plenty to keep her mind off it, as information on the business was rolling in thick and fast. She was looking around the room at the piles of files and papers and wondering whether they’d have time to get through it all when she noticed that Rosa was flicking through her notes looking rather puzzled.

  ‘Are you okay?’ Rachel asked.

  ‘I’m having a few problems with this analysis,’ said Rosa. ‘Could you give me a hand?’

  ‘Sure,’ said Rachel. She got up and moved round the meeting room table to sit next to Rosa. ‘What’s up?’

  ‘I’m trying to get the sales breakdown by procedure that we need, but quite a lot of the sales records don’t have the procedure details noted on them. It just says “other”. At this rate I’ll end up with “other” being one of the top procedures, which isn’t exactly helpful.’

  ‘Is the information somewhere else?’ Rachel asked.

  ‘Not that I’ve found so far,’ said Rosa. ‘I’ve checked the summary patient records and they also just say “other”.’

  ‘It’s probably just a glitch,’ said Rachel. ‘I’ll go and ask Tom about it.’

  Rachel
walked down the corridor to Tom’s office. Tom’s PA was sitting at the desk outside his office.

  ‘Hi, Linda, is he free?’ Rachel asked.

  ‘He’s heading out in about ten minutes, so you can probably just catch him if you don’t need too long,’ said Linda.

  Rachel knocked on the door, opened it slightly and stuck her head round.

  ‘Hi, Tom, can I bother you for a couple of minutes?’

  Tom was sitting behind a large, old-fashioned desk with a green leather top.

  ‘Yes, come in,’ he said.

  Tom’s office was very different in style from the ones at Payne Stanley but Rachel couldn’t help noticing the similarities to Carl Stephen’s office. Pictures of his family and the obligatory sports trophy sat on his bookshelf. He also had some team photos of what looked like rugby players on the wall. What was it with men and the need to display their sporting prowess at work? Maybe she should bring in her under-sixteen netball team photo and her twenty-five metre swimming certificate and put them on the wall in their project room. Or then again, maybe not, she thought.

  ‘How can I help?’ Tom asked.

  ‘I just had a quick question about the sales records,’ said Rachel. ‘We’re trying to get a breakdown of sales by procedures but quite a few of the records just say “other” on them. There are no details of what procedure was actually carried out. Do you know why?’

  ‘I think it’s probably from when we moved onto the new computer system. Some of the old records hadn’t been coded properly so they got transferred over as “other”. You’ll probably have to go back to the original invoice to get the details.’

  ‘Oh, okay,’ said Rachel. ‘Is it alright if we prepare a list of the ones we want and give it to the finance team to dig out for us?’

  ‘They’re still working on some of your other information requests, so it might take them some time. They’re filed in the accounts office, so if one of your team can do it instead, that would be quicker,’ said Tom.

  ‘Alright, we’ll do that,’ said Rachel. ‘Thanks.’

  ‘How’s it going otherwise?’ Tom asked.

  ‘Yes, not bad,’ said Rachel. ‘We’re working our way through the information you’ve given us and we can really see how fast you’ve been growing over the last couple of years. Very profitable business too, so that’s all good.’

  ‘Cosmetic surgery is a great business to be in,’ Tom replied. ‘Most people want us to be reassuringly expensive as that implies quality, and once they’ve found a doctor they’re happy with, they stick with us.’

  ‘Reassuringly expensive,’ said Rachel, smiling. ‘I like that expression.’

  ‘That’s the idea,’ said Tom. ‘People want to know that they’re in the best hands and they understand that low cost means cutting corners. You get what you pay for in this business. Anyway, I need to run, so if you’ll excuse me…’

  ‘Of course,’ said Rachel. ‘We’ll get on with pulling out those invoices we need.’

  Rachel went back to the project room and explained the situation to Rosa. She wasn’t exactly delighted at the prospect of having to go through filing cabinets of paper invoices to find the details they needed.

  ‘That will take ages!’ Rosa protested.

  ‘I know,’ said Rachel. ‘I’m sorry, but we don’t have any choice, and I’ll give you a hand. Look, maybe let’s leave it for today and resume battle in the morning.’

  She could do with leaving a bit earlier than normal. She was seeing Harry later and was going to have to talk to him about the summer party. She wanted to have a bit of time beforehand to think about exactly how to deal with it. She packed up her things and headed down in the lift to the foyer.

  The security guard nodded at her as she left. ‘Have a good evening,’ he said. ‘Nice and mild too, perfect for a barbecue.’

  ‘Great, thanks. Goodnight,’ said Rachel.

  She left the Beau Street office and got on the tube home. As usual it was packed and there were no seats. She watched a man reading a newspaper folded neatly long-ways in one hand. He was hanging on to an overhead strap at the same time and seemed oblivious to the people around him. She wished she could do the same but she had nothing to read except her work notebook, which was hardly escapist literature. Instead, she amused herself by deciding which man in the carriage she would marry if they were the only ones left in the world: a regular game during her commute home. She looked around, examining the men in the carriage: the standard mix of portly businessmen, office workers and tourists. Tonight was easy. It would be the scruffy but acceptable looking student type sitting down the far end of the carriage. If only choosing a partner for life could really be that simple.

  When she got home she ran herself a bath. She lay soaking in it for ages, slowly drinking a glass of wine and mulling over the conversation that she needed to have with Harry later. She really wanted him to understand how important it was to her that he didn’t show her up at the summer party. She wanted to show the partners that she was level-headed and responsible, and that included her choice of boyfriend.

  Harry arrived shortly after eight p.m. and was in a typically chirpy mood. She gave him a glass of wine and they sat in the kitchen chatting.

  ‘Our summer party invites have come through at work,’ Rachel said after a while. ‘It’s with other halves this year. Will you come with me?’

  ‘If I have to,’ said Harry.

  At least that’s a yes, Rachel thought.

  ‘Great, I’d really like you to,’ said Rachel. ‘It’s black tie so we’ll have a chance to dress up for a change, which will be fun.’ She held her breath slightly.

  ‘Oh, you’re joking! That’s not my idea of fun. And besides, I don’t have a penguin suit,’ said Harry.

  ‘That’s okay, I can hire one for you. There’s a suit hire place just near the office.’

  ‘Fine,’ he said, looking sulky.

  ‘Come on, Harry, it’s not that bad. I go to loads of your work things.’

  ‘That’s because they’re fun. Your work parties are boring as hell.’

  ‘That’s so not true,’ said Rachel. ‘You just can’t be bothered to make an effort.’

  ‘Rubbish. I talked to loads of people at the last one,’ said Harry.

  ‘Only after you’d pretty much drunk your own body weight in red wine and then you mostly insulted them.’

  They sat in silence, glaring at each other, for a few moments.

  Rachel decided to change tack. ‘Look, Harry, I really need the next few months to go well for me. The director promotions are coming up and I could do with staying under the radar. Let’s just go and try to have a nice time, shall we? I promise I’ll make it up to you.’ She put her hand on the inside of Harry’s thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze.

  ‘If you say so,’ said Harry, pushing her hand away and getting up. He went into the sitting room and turned on the TV.

  Rachel stayed in the kitchen. Why were these conversations so hard? And why did they always end up arguing? To most people, getting an invitation to a party was a good thing. Maybe she just had to accept that Harry would never be interested in her work. She knew he was interested in her, and after all, that was what mattered.

  Chapter 5

  Rachel and Rosa spent the next morning preparing a list of invoices that they needed to get out from filing. Once they’d finished they went into the accounts department and set themselves up on a spare desk near a long row of grey filing cabinets. Around them, the finance team were chatting away, making coffee for each other and generally getting on with the jobs of the day.

  ‘It’s got a nice atmosphere this place, don’t you think?’ Rosa said.

  ‘Yes it has. They’re a pretty friendly bunch. I wonder if they get an employee discount on treatments,’ said Rachel.

  ‘Ooh, I hadn’t thought of that,’ said Rosa. ‘That would be quite a perk! We should see if we can spot people who’ve had something
done. Mind you, I guess if they’re as good as they say they are here, we probably won’t be able to tell those who’ve had something done from those who haven’t.’

  ‘But don’t you think that the office staff here are generally more attractive than your average accounts team, though?’ Rachel asked. ‘Where’s the standard stock of dowdy women and overweight men in zipped cardigans?’

  Rosa looked around. She had to admit that the number of flat stomachs, pouting mouths and feline eye shapes was probably quite a bit higher than in the rest of the population.

  ‘Yup, fair point,’ said Rosa. ‘You can’t blame them, though, can you? I mean, if you work in a cake shop where they give you free cakes, you’re bound to eat them at some point.’

  Just as Rosa was talking, a tall skinny woman with a smooth, expressionless face walked past their desk. Rachel nodded at Rosa knowingly and sucked in her cheeks. Rosa looked at the woman, who immediately smiled at her and said ‘Good morning’ in a singsong voice.

  ‘Oh, er, yes, good morning,’ said Rosa, rather caught off guard and trying hard not to laugh. ‘Rachel!’ she said once the woman was out of earshot.

  ‘What? You were the one who wanted to play spot the nose job,’ said Rachel, laughing. ‘I couldn’t let a classic frozen fish face go unnoticed. Anyway, that’s quite enough taking the piss out of the client. We should get started.’

  ‘Yes, quite right,’ said Rosa.

  Rachel read out the first invoice number and Rosa carefully worked her way through the filing cabinets until she found it.

  ‘Does it have the procedure details on?’ Rachel asked.