Come to Me Recklessly

by A. L. Jackson

  “Don’t you have something better to do? I heard the entire basketball team is in the locker room. They should be expecting you. Or have you already grown bored of the taste of sweaty dick in your mouth?” His taunt was just as thick as the one Jasmine had used on me.

  “Fuck you,” she slurred, clenching her fists at her sides, her hands extending lower than the scrap of a skirt she wore. “You didn’t seem to mind when it was your dick.”

  Jasmine had a reputation. I knew all about it. The worst part was Christopher Moore had one, too.

  Like her words didn’t even faze him, Christopher glanced over his shoulder at me. “You okay?”

  I tried my best to catch my breath and clear my head, but his expression muddied my thoughts all up again. The dread I’d felt in the face-off with Jasmine had transformed into a wave of dizziness that started in my unsettled belly and swirled all the way up to spin my head.

  Christopher Moore was talking to me.

  He frowned, still guarding me, but twisting enough so that his torso was facing me, concern strewn all over his gorgeous face. “Did this bitch hurt you?” he demanded.

  I swallowed, searching for words that were all locked up in my tightened throat. Spastic and jerky, I shook my head. A shock of embarrassment rushed to my face, splashing crimson all over my pale skin. “No,” I whispered low when he continued to stare me down, waiting for an answer.

  “What the hell do you care?” Jasmine had regained her composure, all the haughty bitchiness back in full force.

  Because just like Christopher had called her, she was exactly that.

  A bitch.

  Jasmine tossed her hip to the side, going for a sexy, seductive pose that made me want to hurl.

  A voice rumbled from the side. “He obviously cares nothing about you, Jasmine, so why don’t you be on your way.”

  I tore my attention from where it was fixated on Christopher to the origin of the voice.

  Jared Holt.

  Here I was, surrounded by two guys who commanded attention wherever they went, Christopher Moore and Jared Holt. I couldn’t tell which of them was better-looking. Any of the girls at the school would have died to have either one of them.

  But there was something about Christopher’s dark hair and the overt mirth and tease that gleamed bright in his emerald eyes that just about brought me to my knees. He was gorgeous. Beautiful. And a little bit terrifying. He was trouble with a capital T.

  And I didn’t do trouble.

  Jasmine ignored Jared and instead backed an inch away, glaring at Christopher. “You’re an asshole.”

  Christopher edged in closer to my side. As if he was taking up my side.

  My head reeled again.

  “Yeah?” His nose curled with distaste. “And I can smell your nasty cunt from over here.”

  My eyes went wide with shock. I couldn’t believe he’d just used the C-word. That was the dirtiest of dirty words. But it just rolled off his tongue as if he used it all the time.

  He probably did.

  My skin zinged when he gathered me up close, tucking me under his arm to shield me from the stifling hostility radiating from Jasmine.

  “Let’s get you out of here,” he whispered, moving to shuffle me toward the school’s outdoor hallway.

  With his arm slung over my shoulder, he shifted enough to look back, lifted his free hand high in the air to flip Jasmine off. “Stupid bitch,” he shouted out, before he turned and whisked me away.

  I shook my head, staring at my feet as I rushed to keep up with Christopher’s long, confident stride, trying to make sense of what had just gone down. I blinked and attempted to slow down, whispering the words from my raw throat. “You didn’t have to do that, you know.”

  Christopher scoffed, still taking up his protective stance at my side. “Yeah, I did.”

  “Why?” I couldn’t stop the question from escaping my mouth. It was a genuine question with an answer I wasn’t sure I could really understand.

  Christopher just shrugged. “Because I’m tired of watching that rabid bitch treat everyone around her like shit.” He glanced at me, all that bold arrogance playing around his face, but something serious blanketed his eyes. “And I sure as hell am not gonna stand around and watch her messing with you.”

  The nerves rolling around in my stomach got confused with the attraction I’d always felt toward him.

  But that attraction had always been from afar.

  “Come on… let’s grab some lunch. I’ve worked up an appetite putting Jasmine in her place.” Christopher tossed me a casual wink and turned me toward the cafeteria.

  Overwhelmed by it all, I allowed my wary feet to drag me to a standstill. “You don’t even know me.”

  A step ahead, Christopher stopped when he realized I was no longer at his side, his pivot slow as he turned to face me. His expression pinned me to the sidewalk and left me without breath, the sudden burning intensity of his green eyes branding me.

  He erased almost all the ground between us, swallowing up the personal boundaries I had so firmly set in place. Everything lit inside of me. Places that I’d had no idea existed flamed to life in front of this beautiful boy.

  Cocking his head to the side, he captured my dumbfounded gaze. “I know your name is Samantha Schultz. I know you sit one row over and two seats in front of me in English literature because I can’t stop watching you.”

  He lifted his hand, the pads of his fingertips fluttering along my jaw. A flash of nerves pebbled my oversensitive skin. He hooked his finger under my chin, bringing his lips a fraction from mine.

  “And I know you have the prettiest mouth I’ve ever seen.”

  SIX

  Christopher

  I fisted my hair in my hands, doing my best not to lose my shit, trying to keep from coming unglued right here in the middle of my sister’s quiet house. This place was supposed to be a sanctuary, where I could come and leave all the bullshit I got myself into behind. Where I could pretend like I was living for something instead of admitting that I was wasting my life away.

  Never had that fact been more glaring than now.

  A waste.

  A total fucking waste, because my entire life had just gone running out Aly’s front door.

  That mouth.

  That fucking mouth.

  I was one second from losing my goddamned mind, one second from losing sanity.

  When I’d confronted her at the sliding door, Samantha had been no more than one staggered breath away. So close I could almost taste her. Everything that was sweet filled up my nose and invaded my senses. My heart stumbled, and all that rushing blood decided it was a good idea to travel straight to my aching cock.

  After all, I was just a man, and that girl was single-handedly responsible for who I was today.

  It’d taken just about every ounce of power I had inside me to keep from leaning in and taking what should have always been mine – that mouth that was all red and perfect, twisted up like a tiny little bow, taunting me with what I couldn’t have.

  Like only a minute had passed instead of years, she’d managed to suck me right back into the endless blue of her expressive eyes. Just like she always had. But this time they were all dark and turbulent and wounded, as if she had no idea what she’d done to me, as if just her setting foot inside this house hadn’t brought the walls closing in and the ground crumbling beneath my feet.

  Like maybe she thought it should be me apologizing to her.

  And damn if it didn’t piss me off.

  Did she have no fucking clue how bad it hurt to even think about her? And there she’d been, standing there in all that glorious flesh, luring me forward like she was some kind of forbidden fruit.

  Anger clenched my jaw, that emotion in an all-out war with the relief that had come barreling in like a freight train when my body had trembled with awareness, all my nerves set on high alert, as if they could sense some kind of impending change in the air.

  And that change had b
een standing right at the end of Aly’s hallway.

  At first I’d thought I was hallucinating. I mean, how many times had I imagined her? Saw myself touching her. Loving her. Too many times I’d wondered what she’d look like now with all these years passed. Would she still be good and sweet and innocent, or had I damaged her so much that she’d become just like the rest of the girls I could barely stand?

  Should’ve known those fantasies wouldn’t come close to doing her justice.

  She’d always been beautiful. But in a soft sort of way, all of it subdued by her modesty and kindness, her shy smile and bright eyes filled with the excitement of the future and a genuine kind of innocence that had knocked something loose inside me the first time I saw her. No doubt that’s what had drawn me to her in the first place. I liked that she didn’t know how pretty she was. Like maybe I was the only one who recognized it and I’d be the one who got to convince her of it.

  Or maybe it was just that she really didn’t care. She didn’t make it the center of her world or wield it like power to garner herself attention or manipulate those around her.

  But God, there was no hiding that striking beauty now.

  She was still petite, probably a full foot shorter than my six foot four, but time had cut away the roundness of her cheeks. Now they were high and defined, accentuating the sharp line of her jaw. It only drew attention to the delicate skin that graced the soft slope of her neck. Skin I’d do just about anything to get lost in. Those deep blue eyes were keen with an understanding that came only with loss, but still wide and pure and enough to see straight through me, like with just a glance she could crush every wall I’d ever set in place.

  And that body… God, that body was just too much. Every kind of perfection. She was thin, but not skinny, her hips curvy and her chest full. Her legs were strong and toned, almost defiant in their stance when she faced me, even though I’d seen the way her knees had rocked when my gaze first locked on her eyes.

  Her blond hair, so light it was almost white, had been cut in long sheets that fell around her slender shoulders to the middle of her back, and her bangs hung across her forehead to form a frame around that beautiful face that had haunted me for years.

  Which brought me right back to that mouth.

  Good God, that mouth. I didn’t know how I stopped myself. Overwhelming desire had taken me like a damned prisoner. It’d taken my all not to crush myself to those lips that were so red and lush.

  Instead I’d uttered the worst kind of profanity – pure and blatant blasphemy – as I demanded that she stay out of my life and out of my family’s lives.

  Because there was no piece of me that could handle her here.

  “What the hell is your problem?” With the venomous voice, I jerked to look over my shoulder.

  Kristen stood with her arms crossed over her chest, her tits making a bid to climb right over the top of her collar. She was all ruffled and pissed and offended, her face twisted up in a sneer.

  I’d forgotten she was even here.

  Of course, I’d used her like a goddamned prop when I’d found Samantha there, and a second was spent feeling guilty for employing her as a tactic in some kind of defective defense mechanism. But really, that pang of guilt was all wrapped up in the expression that had slurred across Samantha’s face, reflecting back betrayal and disloyalty.

  Which was exactly what it’d been.

  “Christopher, what do you think you’re doing here?” Aly demanded from behind, stepping inside.

  Awesome.

  I was getting assaulted on all sides, by Kristen, who thought I owed her something, and by my sister, who I was feeling just a little bit pissed off at. All week I’d known something was up. Aly had been acting all sketchy while Jared’s mouth had remained locked up tight. Neither of them had said a word or thought it’d be wise to give me a warning. Like they didn’t have a single clue how seeing her would mess me up.

  I had to admit, that was probably the truth. None of them had a single clue. Because over the years, I’d remained just as tight-lipped as the two of them had this week.

  It was much easier to live up to my reputation, give myself over to being a lecherous asshole, than admit I’d gone and let myself get crushed up by a tiny girl who shouldn’t ever have had the power to turn me inside out.

  I turned and glared at my sister, who passed Ella off to Jared. Jared stood right behind Aly, watching me over her shoulder, his eyes digging deep, as if he were trying to search through my thoughts. Aly fretted, looking behind me toward the door, clearly more concerned for her guest who had fled than for me.

  That kind of pissed me off, too. “What the hell was she doing here?” It came as a harsh rasp.

  “I invited her,” Aly shot back on a hard whisper, like she had every right in the world to summon Samantha back into our lives.

  I laughed, the sound humorless and mocking. I drove my hands through my hair and looked toward the ceiling. I leveled my eyes back on her. “You invited her.” I drew out the words, testing out just how angry I was against the roaring in my ears that was screaming at me to run after Samantha, just to get a taste.

  Just one more taste and maybe I could wipe all the pent-up memories away. Regrets that I’d always thought I could cover up with the delirious rush of numbness I felt when I was buried in a vacant, willing body. All that greedy nothingness I found myself seeking day after day.

  Maybe I could make Samantha that.

  A body.

  Maybe she’d feel like nothing, just like everyone else.

  Maybe then I’d be okay.

  Maybe then I could let all this bullshit go.

  “Yes, I invited her. I like her and I always have. Do you have a problem with that?”

  Sarcastic, incredulous laughter erupted from my throat. “Did you really think I wouldn’t have one? Isn’t that what you’ve been hiding this entire week?”

  Instantly, remorse creased the corners of my sister’s eyes. She stretched out her hand and gently set it on my forearm. I didn’t know how badly I was shaking until she tried to still me. “God, I’m sorry, Christopher. Honestly… I didn’t mean to upset you or try to trick you. You said you weren’t coming, so I thought it was safe to invite her. I’d never hurt you on purpose. You have to know that.”

  Of course I knew that. But that didn’t change the fact that Samantha had been here, in my space, a place I couldn’t allow her to invade.

  “What were you doing talking to her in the first place, Aly?”

  She should have known better.

  She dropped her gaze to her feet before she looked up at me. She seemed to hesitate, wavering on what she wanted to say, how much she wanted to admit. “She lives here in the neighborhood with her boyfriend. Just a street down. Jared and I ran into her at the store last week and we exchanged numbers. I just… I wanted to catch up with her. She told me her brother was sick again, and I’m pretty sure she needs a friend. So I invited her.”

  Bile burned a hole in my gut. I choked over the acrid taste as it rushed up my throat. I couldn’t hear anything beside the fact that her brother was sick again and that she had a boyfriend. That she was living with him. Vile images corrupted my already beat-up mind, and I wanted to claw my eyes out. The idea of someone touching her made my skin crawl.

  And Stewart. Memories of his smile swelled as I pinched my eyes closed, that kid… that fucking awesome kid who was supposed to be okay.

  Goddamn it.

  I wanted to punch something. I couldn’t do this. I had to get out of here, away from everything I didn’t want to face, away from what was supposed to be long forgotten, brushed right under a tidy little rug and trampled underfoot, squashed into nothing.

  Obliterated from my mind.

  Kristen laughed a bitchy little laugh. “I’m not sticking around for this shit, Christopher. Why you had to drag me over here for this, I don’t know, but I’m obviously not welcome and I have better things to do.”

  I turned back to h
er. “Then go.”

  Her eyes narrowed, and something like disappointment filled them before she headed toward the door, mumbling, “Guess you really are an asshole, aren’t you.” Kristen stormed out the door and slammed it behind her.

  There went my ride.

  The walls shook, evoking a small cry from a startled Ella.

  Damn it.

  I turned back to Aly, my attention darting between her, Jared, and Ella, who Jared was now trying to calm, and then to some of the guys from work and Megan staring at me from where they sat out back, all of them getting mixed up in my mess.

  I felt on the spot. Caged. Like there was something inside me savage and untamed, fighting to be unleashed. I glared across at Jared. “I need a ride.”

  Without a second thought, he lifted his chin in consent, handed Ella back to Aly, and kissed my sister on the top of the head. “I’ll be back in a bit.”

  Aly nodded against his mouth, cradled her daughter to her chest as she looked on with worry and questions and all the shit I didn’t want to deal with.

  “Sorry,” I blurted out, not sure what I was apologizing for, but I was pretty sure that everything that had just gone down had ruined everyone’s night.

  Especially mine.

  “Christopher,” Aly attempted, taking a step forward, and I lifted a hand to stop her.

  “Not tonight, Aly. You said you were being honest with me. I can accept that. But I have to be honest with you. I’m really pissed off at you right now. You should’ve told me.”

  She cringed. There was no question Aly hadn’t done it maliciously, because there was nothing in her that was bad. But she had this thing about her, keeping secrets from me when she thought she was protecting me, when she thought she was protecting what was important to her.

  I didn’t appreciate it when she pulled it when she started hooking up with Jared, and I sure as hell didn’t appreciate it now.

  Jared clapped me on the shoulder as he passed. “Come on, man, let’s get you home.”

  I hated the guilt that was etched in deep lines across Aly’s forehead, so I went to her. As I approached, she lifted her head, and I dropped a swift kiss to the frown marring her forehead, going for the light that I always used, the fuckup who was always laughing because he didn’t give a shit about anything.