Blame It On Your Heart (Big Timber)

by Jami Alden

  Pain he'd caused because he'd been too full of pride to try to fight for her the first time around. Pain he'd caused because he'd been too afraid to open up his heart the second time around. "I'm so damn sorry." This time he didn't let her stop him from pulling her into his arms.

  "I'm sorry," he whispered over and over, pulling her against his chest as if he could pull all the pain he'd caused back into his body. It made perfect sense, everything she'd said, about needing something different.

  Hadn't he felt that way, when he'd moved back to Big Timber? That gnawing feeling that nothing would ever be right? But then, nothing would ever be right no matter where he ended up, and damned if he was going to change his plans because of her.

  Now, now she was back, in his arms. Here, in that special place they'd once loved and dreamed together, things were slowly starting to feel right again.

  He cupped her face in his hands, tilted it up, his eyes welling with tears at the sight of her tear-streaked face in the moonlight. "Ellie, I love you," he whispered. He heard her sharp inhale as he pressed his lips to hers. "I love you," he whispered again. "I don't think I ever stopped. And you don't have to worry about me finding someone else, because there has never been and never will be someone else. It's always been you."

  He kissed her again, harder this time, his tongue flicking her lips, urging them to part. He groaned when she finally let him in, drinking in her unique sweet taste mixed with the salt of their tears.

  "Please tell me you'll stay. Stay here with me."

  Ellie could barely think past the sound of her heartbeat pounding in her head in reaction to Damon's words. It felt so good, his arms around her, his mouth taking hers in a devouring, almost desperate kiss.

  Yet there was still the kernel of doubt, wondering how serious he really was. So he loved her, but what did that mean? Her life was still far from what she'd call stable, and she couldn't afford to bet Anthony's future on a maybe.

  "I want to get married," he blurted, as if reading her mind.

  She must have looked a little panicked, because he followed with, "Not right away. Unless you want to get married right away. Whatever you want. I'm not going to force a decision on you. But someday. And I want to teach Anthony to fish and throw a perfect spiral, and give him a little brother to play with..." He trailed off, searching her face for an answer.

  She could hear the tension in his voice, feel the slight tremble in his arms as he held her. He was as nervous and unsure as she was. Yet despite that, and despite the way his last proposal had ended up, he was still willing to lay himself out, lay it all on the line.

  For her. For them.

  "It might be a little sister," she said.

  He looked confused for a second, then his eyes got all shiny as his mouth pulled into a smile. "I would love to give Anthony a baby sister to spoil."

  She laid her hand against his cheek, felt her own eyes well up. "I love you Damon. All I ever wanted was to be with you."

  He bent his head and kissed her again. This time Ellie didn't hold anything back. She parted her lips, sucked his tongue into her mouth as her arms wound around his neck. His hand crept up the back of her shirt, sending heat pulsing through her blood.

  He scooped her up in his arms and carried her to his truck without ever taking his mouth from hers. So absorbed in kissing him, Ellie didn't notice he was opening the passenger door until he was settling her inside.

  "I don't carry a sleeping bag and pillow around anymore," he said in response to her no doubt befuddled expression. "And somehow I feel like tonight deserves better than us doing it on the bench seat of my truck."

  She snuggled close to his side as he put the car in gear and rested her hand on his thigh. She ran her palm up and down his leg, savoring the feel of hard muscles shifting underneath.

  "Careful there," he said, his voice getting that familiar tightness as her hand inched higher and curved toward his inner thigh.

  He put his hand over hers, but didn't stop her when she slid her hand higher to cup the hard bulge straining the fly of his jeans.

  By the time they got to his place, Damon was in full sensory overload. Overwhelmed with all of the emotions swirling inside him. The love. The lust.

  And most of all, the joy of having Ellie in his arms, in his bed, and having a second chance to get things right.

  Within seconds he had her out of the truck, through the door and was carrying her up the stairs in a near sprint.

  Clothes went flying every which way and soon they were naked on his bed, her smooth, sleek legs parting as she pulled him down over her.

  "I can't get enough of you," he murmured as he pressed, hot, open mouth kisses over her neck and shoulders. He bent his head and took her nipple in his mouth, his cock surging at her high-pitched cry. "I could live to be a hundred and never get enough of you."

  He slid his hand between her parted legs, groaning when he found her slippery wet and ready for him. Part of him wanted to take it slow, savor this moment, this new openness and trust between them.

  But a baser, more primitive part wanted to sink into her hard and deep, lay his claim once and for all and never let her go.

  The primitive part won out, unable to wait any longer to claim her. His woman. His love.

  In a last second of clarity he reached for the bedside table to retrieve a condom. He quickly covered himself and sank home. His eyes rolled back at the feel of her closing around him, hot and tight as she took every inch.

  He didn't think sex with Ellie could get any better, but everything about this moment felt bigger, deeper, richer, than anything that had ever come before. Everything was hotter, sweeter, making him feel like his heart was going to burst open in his chest.

  "I love you," she whispered, her breath coming in hot pants as her hips surged underneath him.

  The words shot through him like an electric current, almost making him come right then and there. "I love you too," he said, every muscle straining as he struggled for control. He kissed her, his tongue thrusting in rhythm with his cock, drinking in her moans.

  She was close, he could feel it in the stiffening of her muscles, the way her pussy clenched tight around him. Her hands clamped over his ass, her fingers digging in as she urged him harder, faster.

  He clenched his teeth and gave her what he needed, holding his own orgasm at bay as he took her in hard, heavy thrusts.

  Then she was coming, her cries echoing to the ceiling as she shuddered against him, her muscles pulsing around his cock.

  His own orgasm came thundering over him in a release so intense it made him see stars.

  He collapsed on top of her, so wrung out he could barely move. Ellie didn't seem to mind, if the way she wrapped her arms and legs around him and let out a deep sigh of satisfaction was any indication.

  He rolled to the side and took her with him, still buried in her tight heat. She hooked her leg over his hip, hugging him to her. As unwilling to let him go as he was to move.

  He wanted to stay like that forever, savoring the feel of her soft weight against him as her hands roamed over his back and shoulders.

  But he needed to take care of business or else they risked getting started on that aforementioned son or daughter sooner than they'd planned.

  Not that it would be a disaster, he thought as he kissed her soft mouth and reluctantly pulled away. Still, kids were a big deal, and something they needed to add to the long list of things to discuss now that they were finished with this hiding their feelings bullshit.

  He ditched the condom and headed back out to the bedroom, feeling like a ten ton weight had lifted from his chest. He hadn't even realized it was there until it was gone. But looking across the room and seeing Ellie in his bed, smiling her satisfied smile, her eyes glowing with love, he felt like the sun had come out for the first time in thirteen years.

  He returned her smile and headed back to the bed, and as he passed his dresser the wooden box where he kept loose change and other odds and ends
caught his eye. Like he was caught in a tractor beam, he couldn't stop himself from hooking a right and walking over to the dresser.

  "What are you doing over there?" He could barely hear her voice over the pounding of his heart. His hands shook as he flipped the box open. There, amidst the loose change and cufflinks he never wore, was at thin band of white gold, the tiny quarter carat diamond shimmering in the dim light.

  He picked it up with trembling fingers, part of him wondering if this was too much, too soon.

  No. Ellie was giving up a lot and betting her and Anthony's future on him. He owed it to her to show her how serious he really was.

  ###

  Ellie barely noticed that Damon didn't answer her question. She was too distracted by the sight of his broad, muscled back, narrow hips, tight ass, and thickly muscled thighs.

  And then there was the front of him, she thought with a shiver of delight as he turned around and started back toward the bed. Starting at his big, broad feet, she let her gaze wander leisurely up his legs, rippling abs and hard, hairy chest.

  When she got to his face, her heart skipped in her chest. Far from the happily dazed expression he'd worn before he got up from the bed, now his look was dead serious. His rugged features looked even sterner than usual, his full mouth pulled into a tight line.

  Instantly she was scared to death, all of her insecurities roaring to the surface. He changed his mind. He thinks this is a mistake.

  She still had the job in the Caribbean, she reminded herself. She still had a way to escape. The thought did little to soothe the burning in her chest.

  She felt like she couldn't get enough oxygen as he sat on the edge of the bed and cleared his throat.

  Here it comes.

  "I have something for you."

  He held out his hand, and she saw that he was holding something between his thumb and his forefinger.

  A ring.

  And not just any ring, she realized as her adrenaline spiked again, but this time it wasn't from panic.

  It was her ring. "You kept it," she said. She tore her gaze from his hand to his face, and when she met his gaze, she saw what she'd been too panicked to see mere seconds ago.

  Though his expression was serious, his eyes were stormy, reflecting all of the emotions raging through him. Love, joy, and no small amount of fear.

  She knew because she was feeling all of that too.

  She didn't know if she moved or he did, but suddenly he had her pressed up against his side, one arm tight around her shoulders while he still held the ring in his other hand.

  "I kept it as a reminder to never let himself be that stupid ever again," he said.

  Ellie flinched and her gaze slid guiltily from his.

  "At least, that's what I told myself for the past thirteen years," he continued. "But tonight, I realized the truth."

  "And what's that?" she asked, her mouth suddenly dry as the desert.

  "I kept it because, deep down, I always hoped I'd have another chance to put it on your finger."

  Ellie's heart pounded against her ribcage as he reached for her left hand. Her fingers were visibly shaking, but that was okay. His were too.

  "I don't want to rush you into anything, but I'd really love it if you'd finally wear my ring."

  "How could you be rushing me into anything," she said, her voice cracking, "when I've been waiting thirteen years for this?" Her eyes went blurry with tears as he slid the ring down her finger.

  Her fingers twined with his as he covered her mouth in a hungry kiss and urged her back against the pillows. "I love you Ellie," he murmured against her lips, sending a rush of pure joy pouring through her veins. "I've loved you for so long, and this time I will never let you go."

  ###

  Other Titles by Jami Alden

  Private Paradise

  Private Pleasures

  Private Passions

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