He released him, turned back to the grill, and flipped the steaks he’d put on minutes earlier.
“I know the creed has always been not to have an emotional stake in the case,” Todd continued, “but sometimes, that stake is what makes this lousy job bearable. We don’t have enough manpower, and you know it. You need a break? Fine. Julia and Meredith can stay with her during most of the day. Merry knows about the amnesia, and while she’s upset, she can probably step up to the plate and answer questions, but I need Dan on the perimeter at night. I can let you take inside patrol for me until she’s asleep, but then you have to spend the night with her in there. Grow a thicker skin, do whatever you have to, but like it or not, she’s your package, and it’s a long-term assignment. Once she’s safe and settled, you can turn her over to regional, like we did with Rebecca and Scottie, but until then, she’s your responsibility.” He polished the top of his head. “I’ll see what I can do to make it easier in the short term, but for her own safety, she has to learn to trust you. She may hate your guts, but when push comes to shove, she has to know you’re the man who’ll keep her alive. We’ve dealt with difficult situations before. Man up.” Todd shrugged, his eyes filling with compassion. “I’m not being heartless here. I’m being realistic. Even if this hadn’t happened, you weren’t going to be a couple again, you told me so. If she hadn’t lost her memory would the situation be all that different?”
Neil huffed out a breath and turned away to stare out at the evening sky once more. Feeling sorry for himself wouldn’t get him anywhere. Whatever relationship he’d had with Nancy was over, and he was deluding himself if he thought otherwise. He’d never shirked his duty. Nancy might hate him, but she would have to live with it until he found her a safe haven.
“You’re right,” he said, turning back to Todd and shoving his left hand into the front pocket of his jeans. “I’ll do my job. She’s a package, probably the most important one I’ve ever had, and I will not let her down.” He drained the last of the coffee, surprised to see he’d emptied the mug. “Now, she asked for her glasses and usually carried a spare pair in her purse. Do you know where it is?”
Todd smiled and nodded. “It’s in the closet by the front door. Dinner’s ready. Do you want to eat now or wait?”
“Wait.”
There was no way he could eat now. His stomach was a cesspool of molten lava. He needed to calm down before he faced Nancy again. He would have to apologize as he’d done countless times, but he would do whatever it took to earn her trust.
Rather than get into Nancy’s bag right away, Neil opted to go downstairs to the gym. He’d noticed a punching bag there earlier and decided it might provide a way to let off a little steam and maybe get his head screwed on properly again. Despite the fact that he’d lived more years than he cared to remember by the gun, he wasn’t a violent man, but sometimes the urge to hit something was overwhelming, and since the one he’d like to hit was himself, this would have to do. Stripping down to his undershorts, he put on the gloves and began working out his frustrations on the hapless bag. Punch after angry punch sent the bag rocking on its chain. He put all of his fury, resentment, and buried sorrow into each and every blow, his hands stinging inside the gloves, but he didn’t care. She was in pain, and now so was he. It was only fair.
When he didn’t have the energy to land another punch, he collapsed to the floor like a broken doll and let the tears come at last—the tears he’d never shed for his son, for his marriage, for the loss of the woman he loved. No one bothered him, and he had no idea how long he’d stayed down there like that, but when he was finally spent, he noticed someone had left clean clothes for him on the small table next to the door.
Fifteen minutes later, wearing a pair of track pants and a half-zipped hoodie, Neil sat down at the outside table with the brown messenger bag Anderson had given him. It was completely dark out now, the only light provided by the quarter moon, the fairy lights decorating the lawn, and the glow of a campfire down by the water. He flipped the switch on the lamp on the patio table. The damn purse had to weigh five pounds. When he and Nancy had been together, he used to joke she was the original bag lady, carrying everything she owned with her. At the moment, it was too close to reality to be even remotely funny. He dumped the oversized purse on the table, its contents covering the surface.
Needing to sort through the stuff, he opted to make four piles. On the floor near the table, he tossed the clear plastic bag filled with the change of clothes, the items she’d packed planning to stay overnight. Next, he pulled out the toiletries, which included her makeup bag and that fork-like thing she called a comb. Into the third pile, he cast office supplies, and finally, he placed tissue, mints, and other miscellaneous items in a fourth pile. He was left with a water bottle, a bunch of takeout restaurant serviettes, and a hard pink plastic case inside which were her glasses. She might not recognize people, but at least she’d be able to see them.
Patting down the inside of the purse to make sure he had everything, he discovered a cylindrical object caught between the leather and the lining. After checking the various small pouches on the outside of the bag to see if it was from one of them, he found the zippered pocket inside the bag. There was a hole in the corner, most likely caused by the nail file she usually carried in there. Whatever the item was, probably lip gloss, it must’ve slipped through the hole.
He meticulously worked the case up the bag until he could push it back out through the slit. It was a cartoon character USB flash drive, the pink and white cat one he’d given her years ago. The fact she still used it surprised him, but then, she’d had this bag for years, too. There was no telling how long it had been caught in there. Nancy usually encrypted her stuff as if she carried state secrets, so, without her password, he couldn’t open it, but maybe Ewan, the computer expert, could.
“She’s all set for the night,” Julia said, joining him on the deck. “She won’t need any more meds until 0600.” Staring at the items on the table, the nurse shook her head and raised the mug of coffee to her mouth. “Decaf. Todd made me some. I love coffee after dinner, but it keeps me up. It’s amazing what we women carry around, isn’t it? My sister has a three-year-old, and she has twice that much in her bag.” She stretched and yawned. “She asked for you, but I don’t think she’ll want to do anymore talking tonight. She went out like a light.”
“She asked for me?” he repeated, certain he hadn’t heard her correctly.
“Don’t look at me as if I’m speaking Chinese. Yes, and she wanted to make sure I told you how sorry she was.” She took another sip from the mug.
Neil frowned. “Sorry for what?”
The nurse shrugged. “I don’t know, she was getting rather hard to understand by then. I told her you would be back later, and that seemed to calm her. Dan stayed with her so I could get this.” She indicated the mess on the table. “Did you find what you were looking for?”
“I did, plus something I didn’t expect.” He held up the USB flash drive.
“Is that a memory stick?”
He nodded. “It was caught between the leather and the lining. I gave her this years ago, when we first started dating. It had a bunch of pictures on it from our ski weekend in Vermont. If they’re still there, they could jog her memory if learning about our son and her mother hasn’t.” As he recalled, they’d looked really happy together, but she’d probably deleted those photographs long ago. Frowning, he looked down at the small object. “If the techs had found this, they would’ve confiscated it, but in case those photos are still there, I’ll ask Ewan to take a look.”
Julia nodded. “I can’t imagine being in her shoes. I’m sorry about letting the cat out of the bag earlier.” Her voice was filled with remorse and her mouth turned down.
“It wasn’t your fault,” he answered. “In the end, that wasn’t what upset her most.”
“Todd explained some of it to me while I was eating. Man, that guy can cook. If he were ten years younger … I sup
pose you had to tell her everything that happened to her.”
“I may not have wanted to, but it’s her life, and she has a right to know.” Neil smiled to take the sting out of his words. “She has to trust me. That’s the only way I’ll be able to keep her safe. We had good times and bad times. I was hoping to keep some of the worst news from her for a while, but she asked.” He sighed. “I’ll be in to relieve you as soon as I can talk Todd into feeding me. I’m not really hungry, but I need to eat.”
“You do. She’s going to need you not just to keep her safe, but to help her through this. Take your time,” Julia said, turning toward the house and stopping. “She’s going to be fine. I’ll stay with her until you get back. Can I take any of this with me?”
Neil nodded. “Yeah. Take the bag of clothes. I’ll bring the rest later.”
“You got it.” She bent, picked up the plastic bag, and entered the house.
Leaning back in the chair, he flipped the USB drive between his fingers. What could Nancy possibly think she needed to be sorry for? He wouldn’t get his hopes up too high, but if she asked for him it had to be a good sign. His stomach grumbled, and he stood. Time to find Todd and see if there was anything left to eat.
Dan came out of the house and walked over to him. He glanced down at the table and shook his head.
“You’re a brave man. I refuse to go into my wife’s purse even when she gives me permission to do it. It can be dangerous in there.” He looked across the lawn. “This place would make a hell of a resort. If the weather holds, we may be able to take Nancy outside tomorrow. After all that time in the hospital, fresh air will do her good.”
“She would love that.” He thought of Fred and pursed his lips. “But it’ll be up to Todd. He’s in charge of her security while we’re here. How is she?”
“Upset, sad. That’s what you would expect considering the news she was given, but she seems to think you’re angry with her.” He leaned his hip against the table. “In fact, she believes you left the room because of it.”
“Me, angry with her?” Neil exclaimed, his eyes almost popping out of his head. He lowered his voice, not wanting to attract the attention of the people sitting in the Adirondack chairs around the fire pit. “Why on Earth would she think that?”
“Probably because she feels she’s hurt you by not remembering your marriage or the baby. Perception is a complicated thing, almost as complicated as brain injuries because in addition to the lost memories, her personality could’ve been tweaked in some way. Hearing about things is substantially different than living through them. I turn on the television and see the carnage going on in the Middle East, and I’m horrified, but that feeling isn’t an iota close to what someone living over there feels. Be prepared for her emotions to be all over the place for the next couple of days as she processes this. It’ll take her awhile to deal with her mother’s death, too. We’ll see how she feels in the morning. Right now, just keep doing what you have. Tell her the truth, be supportive, and give yourself time to adjust to the new her as well.”
“I’m certainly not angry with her. I never have been, although I couldn’t seem to find a way to talk to her about it.”
“Maybe it’ll be easier this time.” Dan straightened.
“How much longer will she be in physical pain?” Neil asked, knowing the emotional pain of losing her mother would last a while.
“Broken ribs take months to heal, so her chest may be sore yet, but nothing mild analgesics can’t handle. The drug hangover from the coma inducing sedatives, probably the biggest part of her headache, should work themselves out of her system by tomorrow. Assuming she isn’t too upset, we’ll get her up and start her on solid food. I have a feeling our girl is going to surprise us all. I’m going to turn in for a few hours. I’ve got the graveyard shift. Good night, Neil.”
“Good night.”
Todd nodded to Dan as he passed him on his way up the steps into the house. He carried a tray on which he had two steaks, foil wrapped potatoes, and a couple of cans of soda. After setting the tray down, he started the gas grill and handed him a can of cola.
“Here. I figured you would be hungry by now and thought you could use a cold drink while you wait. The steaks won’t take long, and I’m just reheating the potatoes. We can eat out here if you like.”
“That’s fine.” He pulled the tab on his cola, and took a large gulp. “Where is everyone?”
“A few are still over there.” Todd pointed to the fire pit down by the water. “They’ve all eaten, and believe me, can they eat. Someone should check Fred for tapeworm the way he packs it away. Meredith was complaining just watching him eat makes her gain weight.” He chuckled. “Personally, I think she looks fine. I prefer my women with a little meat on them. Where was I?” He paused. “Oh yeah. Chuck’s on the nightshift with Dan, and he’s gone to bed. Fred doesn’t know it, but he’s being locked in tonight. Tony found him fiddling around at Nancy’s door while you were out doing a perimeter sweep earlier this afternoon. He claims he saw Meredith go in and thought it was another way into the backyard. If I could, I would keep him locked in his room twenty-four hours a day. I don’t trust him as far as I can throw him. At least locking him in tonight will give Tony a chance to get a decent night’s sleep. He’s been with the guy day and night since we arrived.”
Neil grimaced, his teeth clenching at the idea that Fred might somehow pose another danger to Nancy.
“Maybe you should ask Dan to give him something.”
Todd chuckled and turned the steaks. “Maybe I should. Keeping him in a coma would definitely make life easier and save a fortune in groceries. He was all over Meredith in Delaware.”
“Do I detect a note of jealousy?” Neil asked, one eyebrow raised. “By the way, how did you explain her when you showed up at the safe house?”
Todd reddened. “Well, I told Mac, Chuck, Tony, and Lindsey the truth, but numbnuts thinks she’s my girlfriend.”
Neil choked on the mouthful of soda he’d taken, spewing some out of his nose in the process. “Your what?”
“I told him she was my girlfriend.”
“Because we always bring dates to a safe house.” Neil laughed for what seemed to be the first time in months.
“Hey, I had to think fast, and I couldn’t very well explain her connection to Nancy. Besides, Meredith thought it was funny. When he tried to hit on her, she told him she was the country’s official executioner, and asked if he’d like to know how lethal injections worked. He blanched, but he’s given her a wide berth ever since.” He flipped the steaks over once more. “You seem to be in a better mood. Maybe I should take a run at that bag.”
Neil smiled. “That helped, but it looks like you were right about Nancy, and my pity party was for nothing. She asked for me before she fell asleep.”
“You see? Don’t overthink it. Dinner’s ready.” He removed the meat and the baked potatoes from the grill and plated them. “Grab the salads and the bread on the counter.”
Neil turned and went into the kitchen.
“Smells good,” he said, depositing the items he carried on the table and sitting across from his partner. He pulled the USB flash drive out of his pocket and handed it to Todd. “Before I forget, I found this caught between the leather and the lining of her purse.”
Todd whistled. “Heads are going to roll.”
“Maybe, maybe not. Can you ask Ewan to have a look at it? It’s probably old—I gave it to her when we got back from Vermont six years ago. Ironic, isn’t it? Still, if he can open it, it might jog her memory. You know, ‘leave no stone unturned’ and all that.”
“I will. I’ll bring it down to him when I collect his dishes,” Todd said. “He’s knee-deep in Claymore Investment files. Now, eat. I’ve got news but I don’t want to talk about it and spoil my appetite.”
Neil chuckled. “I’ve been with you long enough to know that nothing spoils your appetite.”
Chapter Twelve
Neil finished the l
ast of his dessert and leaned back. “You haven’t lost your touch,” he said. “That pie was fantastic. I never understood why you became a marshal. You could’ve been a chef.”
Todd laughed. “I actually considered it at one point, but apparently I have some kind of hero complex—so do you. It might even be a prerequisite for the job.” He shrugged and stood. “Maybe when I retire, I will.” He piled the plates and cutlery and carried them inside. Minutes later, he returned with two cups of coffee.
“Decaf,” he said handing Neil a cup. “You’re jittery enough without more caffeine. I, on the other hand, have a bit more to do before I can call it a day.”
“Thanks. Now can you talk about what might’ve spoiled your dinner?” he asked. Since he was anxious to get back to Nancy, having to wait until Todd was ready to reveal whatever he’d learned recently didn’t sit well with him.
“Anderson contacted me while you were beating the crap out of the punching bag. They found Ethan Paxton earlier this afternoon, an apparent suicide in his garage.”
“What about his kids?” Neil recalled something about two young girls.
“They’re safe. Paxton sent them to stay with friends in Pennsylvania right after his wife’s funeral. He must’ve known something was up. He’d been calling every two or three days to speak to them, but the calls stopped about a week ago. His buddy got worried and phoned the police. That gave them an excuse to go in and have a look.”
He chuckled. “You mean the feds were sitting on a house with a corpse rotting inside? Way to go, Mahoney. That’ll impress the brass.” Neil shook his head. “So Paxton took the easy way out. If he was behind this, Nancy should be safe.”
“Sorry to burst your bubble,” Todd said. “BPD may be reporting it as a suicide, but according to the medical examiner, he’s been dead a week. It looks like he was number one on Olga’s hit parade. The police are looking for the guy’s girlfriend, but she’s vanished. Her name’s Colleen Connors. You’ll never guess where she works.” He gestured with his coffee mug.
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