Into The Rabbit Hole

by Khardine Gray

  They kissed open-mouthed, panting as their bodies worked. He pulled her top over her head and took a moment to gaze at her naked breasts. He liked when she didn’t wear a bra. Fewer things to take off.

  The saucy look she gave him told him she wanted him, too, and she was eager for him to explore her. That was an invitation he rushed to accept. He kissed his way around the perfect points of her nipples, eliciting those little sounds she made that drove him insane and fed his hunger. Then he worked his way down to her thighs. She lifted herself up for him so he could slide her shorts off.

  His eyes rested on the pink lace of her thong. Pink, his favorite color on her. Again he took a moment to enjoy how she looked, taking a mental picture of her that he never wanted to forget.

  That only made him harder. Wade lowered to her again and nuzzled the inside of her thighs, reaching for that most womanly and secret part of her that he knew belonged to him. She arched into him and moaned with pleasure, making him decide to cut the foreplay he had in mind short. They had all day for that.

  Her autumn eyes clouded in a sexual haze, molten with desire as he pulled his trousers down and unleashed the length of his arousal for her. He pushed aside her panties, impatient with need, and slid into her opening, plunging into a wet heat that gripped him. She wrapped her legs around him as he held onto her and his relentless thrusts rammed into her.

  Hunger matched hunger as he moved with her, pumping slowly at first then faster as their bodies demanded more. It was always the same. The need to consume her, the need to have everything that was her. They both cried out as he hammered into her. The hot rush of need commanding them and their movements. She moaned his name, whispering for more, and he became lost.

  Lost in the moment, lost in the action, lost in her.

  Time stood still, like always. It just froze and he felt the last shred of consciousness leave him. All he could hear and feel were the sounds of passion that escaped them as they gasped, moaned, and writhed in the lock of their mad embrace.

  His mind only came back to him when a wild orgasm ripped through her and she tightened and writhed against him. It happened again and the urgent need to fight the rush that built up within him surfaced, making him feel like he was going to explode. He moved faster and harder, propelling her towards a desperate climax. A bone-deep growl of pleasure burst from him and he clasped her hips, pulling her hard into that final thrust of blood-pumping heat that erupted, violent and virile. They came together in mutual surrender, leaving them both gasping and shuddering at the waves that rippled between them.

  Wade was breathing so hard he couldn’t catch his breath. He didn’t think it was possible, but every time he made love to her it was better than the last. And like every other time, he felt the need for more. Before she could even talk, he lifted her up and carried her upstairs to the shower, where they could get ready for the next session.

  Perfection. There was no improvement on that, was there?

  Wade had never heard of anything better than perfect. So what did that suggest?

  Another day had passed. It was morning again and he watched Chloe, asleep in his arms.

  It was very early. He’d put the time at five or six because he’d just watched the sun rise in all its glory, signaling the dawn of a fresh day with any number of possibilities. It compelled him to think about their lives in a different way. It hit like pure truth that this was his life now. This was how he wanted it to be. With her. With Chloe.

  Life for him didn’t get much better than being with her, and that was anywhere she was. Wherever that would be.

  He hated being away from her, and yes, he knew there were all sorts of things going on beyond his house, but he had to think about his relationship with her. Wade wanted her to be his future. She’d been his past, she was his present, and he was determined to live the rest of his life with her, making her happy.

  But there were a lot of things that had to be fixed first. There were a lot of things he had to face.

  Today was Merissa’s funeral. His father had told him days ago when he saw him and it was in the back of Wade’s mind. Wade knew he wasn’t invited, but he wanted to attend. He didn’t think that her family would throw him out, but he had to be sensitive to their needs and the situation. It was a delicate one, a very delicate one that still pained his soul.

  It was an hour after he and Chloe got up that he decided to talk about it. He sat her down in the sitting room and told her his plans.

  “I was thinking of stopping by the cemetery tomorrow,” he expressed.

  She nodded with understanding. “Do you want me to go with you?”

  “No, you go see your friends or enjoy the break from me.” He smiled.

  “I had a long and terrible break from you, Wade, that I hated.” She grimaced, then put out her hand to touch his face. “I understand. I understand, and I’m sorry for everything that’s happened to you. I know it can’t be easy.”

  “This has been the hardest time of my life. The last five years have been hell.” He looked down and focused on the groove of the wood in the fireplace for a second. Every day he thought of them. His son and Merissa. Two lives lost because of him. He didn’t think he’d ever stop blaming himself. It was a guilt that would be there forever.

  “Talk to me,” she whispered, directing his attention back to hers.

  Talk. Yes, he would. Not talking was what landed him in trouble in the first place.

  “I wish that I could go back and change things. I would have left, never gotten involved with Merissa in the first place. I ruined her life.”

  “You can’t say that, Wade.” Concern filled her beautiful face.

  “It’s true, Chloe. Knowing me ruined her. First she had to watch our baby die because I was careless, and then she died because of the vendetta she had against me.”

  “Wade, you told me what happened, and it’s not your fault.”

  “Baby, your feelings for me won’t allow you to see truth. I can’t stop thinking about them. Merissa and the baby. They’re in my mind all the time. Both of them.”

  “Wade, was she never happy? Is there no memory of happiness at all with you? I find that hard to believe.”

  He gazed into her eyes and thought back to when he was with Merissa. Right up until the accident he made sure he did everything to make her happy. But was she?

  He thought back and remembered how she was. How she smiled when she was with him, how she looked at that ultrasound and they first heard their baby’s heartbeat. He remembered how nervous she was when she first told him she was pregnant and how she cried with joy when he told her he was excited to be a father.

  “I think she was.” He nodded. He’d tried to restrain himself, his mind, but it took him back to the night of her murder, to his final moments with her. “I just wish things had turned out better for her. I wish that she at least lived.”

  She’d asked if he meant all that he said with his promises to change and have a life with her. Then she said to him, “I’m sorry we lost our child.”

  He could see it in her eyes that she’d forgiven him, and just as he was about to take hold of some form of redemption, she was taken from him. Just like that.

  And by Zeek.

  “I’ll be here for you, with whatever you need. You don’t need to do this by yourself anymore. You have me,” she offered.

  “Thank you. That means a lot.”

  “I love you.”

  He leaned forward and kissed the top of her nose. “I love you.”

  The next day when he woke up, going to the cemetery was the only thing he had on his mind. He’d built the courage and strength to face Merissa’s grave, but he was called down to the police station.

  Both he and Jared had to meet with Detective Fray for over an hour to give all the information they could on Zeek. Jared brought in everything he could find, and searches at Adrenaline over the last few days provided evidence to show that he was the brains behind the hacking. That definitely wasn�
�t a surprise.

  The meeting left him filled with that fury again, and feeling stupid for being played, but he had to push it all out of his mind, if only for a few hours. Today wasn’t the day to go searching for answers or to get back on this quest to find their psycho. Aaron, he was told he was called.

  Wade would see his father about that. That’s where the answers lay, with his father.

  Restraining his anger, he made his way to the cemetery.

  It was a hot day, probably one of the hottest they’d had in a while, but a gentle breeze rustled across the cemetery. Wade hated cemeteries. Really hated them. He knew they held remains of loved ones, cherished, but to him it was a place of grief that he couldn’t accept. And now because he was grieving, it was worse.

  The caretaker gave him directions to Merissa’s gravesite. When he got there he saw a dark-haired woman kneeling by the cascade of roses, neatening them up. Wade brought a bunch of long-stemmed English roses, yellow. That was what Merissa liked. Before the woman could even stand he knew who she was, and his stomach tightened as she lifted her head and saw him approach.

  When she stood he stopped, paces away, and looked at her. Marlene Stevens was the spitting image of her daughter. He’d always complimented her when he was with Merissa because she looked so young. So young people would mistake her and Merissa for sisters and would have a hard time believing they were mother and daughter.

  She didn’t look young now. She looked like she’d aged significantly since the last time he saw her. As if the life had been siphoned from her body.

  Wade didn’t know what to expect and he didn’t expect to feel like he should be here. After all, he was the man charged with murdering her daughter. He was the man that got involved with her daughter and ruined her life.

  “I’m sorry, I’ll just leave these and go.” His voice shook as he spoke.

  “No,” she replied.

  He gazed at her with anticipation, wondering what she was going to say next. Would she not allow him to leave the flowers? Is that what she was saying no to?

  “Stay,” she added to his relief.

  “I can stay?” He wanted to check.

  She nodded. “Where were you yesterday?”

  The question definitely threw him off balance. “I didn’t think I could come.”

  She turned away from him and looked down at the grave. Wade forced his eyes there, too, and focused his gaze on the granite headstone. When he read what it said, he looked back to her.

  Here lies Merissa Stevens, loving daughter. Born 1st February, 1979; Died 29th June, 2017; and her son, Paul Stevens. Born 29th April, 2012; Died 29th April, 2012. Both taken too soon.

  They were both here. Both of them. The back of his eyes stung and, before he could blink, a tear ran down his cheek.

  Marlene looked over at him and seemed to know what he was thinking. It was the solemn look on her face.

  “She named him Paul, after her grandfather. She wanted to be buried with his ashes so they would always be together.” She nodded. “I always said it was such a morbid thought, but I guess the good Lord knew better. Knew what was to come. We went to the hospital that day when he died. She called us in hysterics, and of course we were shocked by the news. We didn’t even know she was pregnant.” She pulled in a breath before continuing. “I couldn’t understand why you left her, but the doctor in charge explained what happened and I understood it all. But she never could.”

  “What made you understand?” Wade was in awe to hear her say that, but he had to know.

  A soft smile filled her face.

  “The way you used to take care of her when you were with her said everything, and more. It told us all how much you cared. It was exactly how a man should take care of a woman. I might not have known that she was pregnant, but when I thought of it, it made so much sense. You were at her side, attached to her so you could be there whenever she needed you. Always. So when we found out what happened to the baby, we knew it had to be an accident.”

  Her words spoke to his soul and provided the balm he needed so desperately to sooth it.

  “I ruined her life, Mrs. Stevens,” he stated.

  But she shook her head. “No, that wasn’t you, she was different after that. Everything was different after that. It was to be expected, but there wasn’t anything else anyone could have done.”

  “I tried to save her, I tried, but the smoke or whatever it was knocked me out.” He presumed she had to have known what happened.

  “Wade, that is exactly what I expected to hear, and we knew you couldn’t have killed her.” She held his gaze, then moved over to him to rest a supportive hand on his shoulder. “I’ll leave you with them, but let your guilt end here. I watched guilt and the need for revenge consume my daughter. That was what ruined her life. Don’t allow it to ruin yours.”

  Wade stared at her, not knowing what to say. He couldn’t help the way he felt, but in the midst of the darkness a light feeling of the redemption he sought surfaced. It was a flicker. A spark, like the first twinkle of fire before it was lit, but it was there. “Thank you,” he managed.

  She offered a curt nod and walked away, leaving him.

  He focused on the grave again and kneeled down, looking at it all. The flowers, the headstone, the dirt that covered it.

  They were both here. He never thought he’d live to experience something like this. The sadness was indescribable, and the pain was still there. He wanted to say something, but he couldn’t through the incoherent thoughts that clouded his mind.

  So he sat there, sat there for probably an hour in silence, until he felt a hand on his shoulder offering a gentle touch.

  When he looked up to see who the hand belonged to, a tear ran down his cheek. Taylor stood next to him dressed in black. Beside her was his mother and his father. All dressed in black.

  “We thought you could use some support,” Taylor said with a soft smile.

  “I do.” He nodded.

  They came closer and his mother kneeled next to him so that she could hold him.

  Chapter 10

  Chloe

  She waited at the house for Wade. Wes came by to keep her company. She hoped it was okay that she arranged for Wade’s family to go to the cemetery. She understood if he wanted the privacy, but sometimes it was good to go with gut instinct and do what you felt was right.

  Chloe felt that Wade needed them. She didn’t think it was appropriate for her to go because she was the girlfriend. Merissa’s replacement.

  His family, on the other hand, was different, and she just felt that he needed their support and presence. Sometimes that was all you needed to gather strength. Someone’s presence.

  Like Wes being here with her, and his continuous support.

  They were playing chess and he was winning. They opted for it because it was one of those games that allowed you to be sociable while you thought about what you needed to at the same time.

  “You don’t think he’ll throw me outside, do you?” Wes asked. “Wade threw me outside a lot when we were younger. I know I’ll lose, but I swear if he tries it I’ll have to fight.”

  “Wes, you got him out of prison, cleared his name and everything, why would he do that?”

  “Because he, my dear, Chloe, he thinks I’m trying to move in on his girl,” Wes said in the same rough, angry voice Wade used.

  Chloe frowned and moved her pawn one place forward on the chess board, to which Wes responded by taking it with his bishop, leaving her knight open to attack. She hadn’t meant to move that pawn, it should have been the other one a few places down. Wes laughed at her actions.

  “Damn it. I meant this pawn.” She winced, pointing at the other pawn that was next to the one she moved. “Can I have a replay?”

  He laughed even more. “No, we can’t, I’m afraid; this is adult chess, not we’re-five-years-old-and-I’ll-allow-you-to-go-back-and-correct-your-mistake chess.”

  “We didn’t play chess when we were five,” she snapped.r />
  “Maybe not you. I did, though. My IQ wouldn’t allow me to play anything less.”

  He was teasing her, she knew, but she was still annoyed at herself for making such a foolish mistake. When they were younger, Wes would have her in check mate within five minutes of the game starting, but she’d gotten better as the years went by and now she was able to play for all of half an hour before that happened.

  “You used to allow me to replay,” she pretended to pout.

  “Go on, then.” He shook his head and handed her back the pawn.

  “Thank you, Wesley,” she cooed, laughing. She placed the piece back on the board and looked at up at him, the seriousness returning to her. “Thanks, Wes. Thank you so much for all you’ve done. Thanks for getting Wade out of prison and single handedly running an investigation. You saved him.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  The gentle smile she loved lifted the corners of his mouth.

  “Any time. I just hope he does huff and puff and blow the house down when he sees me. And, I reckon my goose will be well and truly cooked when he finds out that I’m seeing his sister.”

  She laughed at that. “How are you and Taylor? You guys look so happy together.”

  “Thanks, I think we are. I certainly am happy. I really like her a lot. She’s more than what I imagined, and what I imagined was already amazing.” His eyes sparkled as he spoke and Chloe felt genuinely happy for him.

  “I’m happy for you two.” Chloe smiled.

  “Thanks. How about you and Wade?”

  As a couple they were great, more than great. Individually was another story entirely. She was still aware that they had this Aaron guy to deal with and Zeek was still at large. Aside from that, she couldn’t help but feel inadequate at her inability to help Wade more. She knew he felt guilty over Merissa’s death and for their son, and it wasn’t the sort of situation where she could help him get over it. What happened wasn’t something he could get over. Time may allow him to manage to cope with it, but as for forgetting, Chloe didn’t think anyone could do that. Their deaths weren’t something to forget.