His Nerd Girl (Falling for the Geek Girl): A New Adult Romance

by Lila Moore

  Sage was glaring at him from the corner of her eyes. I’d never seen a more deadly side eye.

  “I would,” she said.

  “But… I mean… Well, obviously you’re not an idiot, but-”

  “But, what?” I asked.

  I could tell Ansel realized that he’d just fucked up. He’d fallen for the bait-hook, line and sinker. I couldn’t help smiling smugly at him.

  “You don’t honestly believe him? Do you, Sage? Clearly, he’s making this all up.” He was trying to deflect by calling me a liar.

  “I don’t think he’s lying,” Sage said. “Who would make up something like that?”

  “He would! Just look at him.”

  Sage considered me closely. “I am looking at him.”

  There was something in her words that hit me in the pit of my stomach. I felt hollowed out inside, or maybe that emptiness had always been there and I never realized it until I met Sage. When I locked eyes with her I couldn’t look away. I desperately wanted to take her away from here. If I could just get her alone…

  “He’s a liar,” Ansel said. He was practically flailing around like a little kid. His smug superiority had been replaced with juvenile impotence. “You don’t even know him.”

  I suddenly became nervous. Ansel could tell her that we’d made a bet about who would get into her pants first. If she learned about this, she would hate me-and rightfully so. Of course, she would also hate Ansel. He couldn’t destroy me without destroying himself.

  “What do you know about me that Sage doesn’t?” I asked, challenging him to tell the truth. Manning up wasn’t in his DNA, though. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and pouted like a giant baby.

  The server called out my name. Our drinks were ready.

  “Go get our drinks, Ansel,” Sage said. He looked offended. He was used to bossing Sage around. This was a role reversal his ego couldn’t handle.

  “We’re due back at the office, Sage,” he replied. “You’re up for evaluation, aren’t you? I’d hate for you to get in trouble.”

  There was a threat in his voice. It was just as I’d feared. I knew that he’d use his seniority at the company like a weapon against Sage. She looked a bit startled. I didn’t want her to be forced into a position where she had to choose between me and her job.

  “You should get back to work,” I said. “Can I call you later?”

  “Yeah.” She followed Ansel to the counter and grabbed her drink. I didn’t dare lean in to hug her. I didn’t want to scare her away. To my surprise, she hugged me. She was so tiny in my arms. I was afraid I’d hurt her if I squeezed too hard. Her cheek brushed against mine. Her soft skin felt like velvet. Sage pressed her body against mine. Her tits were pushed flat against my chest. My cock stirred to life. I never wanted to let her go.

  “Sage! We have to go,” Ansel whined from the doorway.

  Sage gave me an apologetic look. “Thanks for the smoothie,” she said. “I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Yeah. I’ll call you.”

  She turned to leave then stopped. “Knox, I’m really proud of you. Most people would have taken the money. They wouldn’t have thought twice about putting those people out of work. You really are a good guy.”

  She seemed a bit surprised by this. I should have been offended, but all I could feel was embarrassment. As I watched Sage leave, I couldn’t help wondering: Was my whole life bullshit?

  6

  I spent the afternoon walking around the city. I wandered aimlessly, thinking about my life. I used to think it was amazing, but was it? I had a lot of fun, but there was nothing fulfilling about it. My fuck buddies filled a basic need for sex, but it was nothing more than a quick fix. I never felt a connection to any of those girls. Sleeping with them was like scratching an itch.

  What else did I have going for me? Money. I could buy anything I wanted, but I had no one to share my life with. I had friends. Sort of. There were guys I drank with, but we weren’t close.

  My relationship with my father was a disaster. I wished my mother was still around. She would have liked Sage. They were both smart women that were much stronger than the world gave them credit for.

  I sat by a fountain in the park and thought back on my life. What did I have to show for it? My money was given to me by my father. I hadn’t earned anything in life. The thought twisted in my gut like a knife.

  I needed a drink.

  I jumped up from my park bench and headed to the nearest bar. It was a place I frequented often. You had to have a membership to get in. They catered to the wealthiest people in the city. When I walked in, I was greeted by name. I started to sit at the bar. The bartender looked up and smiled at me. She had almond colored skin and big dark eyes with full lips. I’d slept with her before. The image of her bent over my desk while crying out in Spanish echoed through my mind. Instead of turning me on, the memory gave me anxiety.

  I avoided the bar and took a seat in a dark booth in the corner of the room. A server came over to take my order. Thankfully, it was a guy. I ordered the best scotch they had then buried my head in my hands. I didn’t want to be seen by anyone. I just wanted to get drunk in private.

  My phone started to ring. I checked my watch. It was already seven o’clock. I’d promised Sage I’d call her. I hadn’t forgotten exactly, but time had gotten away from me. It was probably her calling. I answered my phone without checking the Caller ID.

  “Sage, I was just going to call you,” I said.

  “Sage? Is that the little slut you were having lunch with? You can do better. In fact, you have done better-with me.”

  I rolled my eyes. It was the hostess from the sushi place, the one whose name I couldn’t remember.

  “She’s not a slut. Don’t call her names.”

  “Awe,” she mocked. “I’m sorry. Did I hurt your feelings? Since when do girls mean anything to you? You use them then throw them away.”

  I should have hung up the phone. Engaging with her would lead nowhere good, but I couldn’t bring myself to end the call.

  “You don’t even remember my name, do you?” she asked. She didn’t wait for me to respond. “Of course not. It’s just fuck and run with guys like you. You’re nothing. You were shit in bed. I faked every orgasm.”

  At the sushi restaurant, she seemed eager to sleep with me again. Now that she knew I wasn’t interested she’d decided to try and hurt me. The easiest way would be to say I’m bad in bed. I’ve never received complaints before. I didn’t believe her. I knew for a fact I made her cum. I didn’t argue with her though. I let her keep insulting me. Maybe I felt like I deserved it.

  “You’re just another limp dick, asshole. When you get what you want, you never want it again. Women are just disposable to you.” Her voice cracked. She was starting to get emotional. I hadn’t realized it, but I’d hurt her. I couldn’t even remember sleeping with her. I assumed it was a one night stand, or maybe a fling. It was clearly more than that for her. I had no desire to trade insults with her. Instead, I apologized.

  “I’m sorry if I hurt you. I mean, clearly I did, and there’s no excuse for it. I’m sorry. You deserve more than a simple apology, but I don’t know how to make things right with you. All I can do now is say that I’m sincere when I regret how things went down between us. I hope you can forgive me.”

  I was met with silence that dragged out for so long that I checked my phone to make sure the call hadn’t been disconnected.

  “Are you still there?” I asked.

  “Yeah. I just… this wasn’t what I was expecting. Can we meet?”

  That sounded like a bad idea. I didn’t want to give her the wrong impression. Besides, I was focusing on Sage now.

  “No. I’m sorry.” I didn’t want her to think there was any chance of us hooking up again. “You’re a great girl, but there’s someone else in my life now.”

  There was a pause, followed by a meek, “Okay.”

  “I’m glad you called,” I said and meant it. “I�
�m sorry for how I treated you. You’ll find someone better than me with no trouble.”

  “I know I will,” she said defensively.

  “Don’t sell yourself short. Bye.”

  I hung up before she could insult me or try talking me into meeting her again. Since meeting Sage, I’d become messed up in the head. When I’m upset, I run to one of my fuck buddies for comfort. I was doing everything in my power to resist the urge to call one of them now. Getting drunk, then fucking my brains out would be a nice remedy for my anxiety. It was no cure though. I’d wake up tomorrow with a head-splitting hangover next to a girl whose name I couldn’t remember. Then I’d feel even worse.

  The server set my scotch down in front of me. I threw back the whole glass. It went down smoothly and settled warmly in my stomach. I could already feel the edge of my anxiety melting away. I ordered another.

  “Yes, sir,” the server said. He quickly turned on his heels to fetch me a second. There was something about the way he called me, ‘sir,’ that bothered me. He returned quickly with another drink. I tried to drink it slowly, but I fell into temptation to medicate my problems. I drank it down like a shot of cheap tequila. If this bothered the server, he showed no sign of it. He was probably used to waiting on rich, ungrateful pricks like me.

  “Just bring me the whole bottle,” I said.

  “This particular single malt scotch is a thirty-five year vintage. It costs twenty-one thousand dollars a bottle.”

  “Bring it.”

  I tossed my credit card at him. He took my AMEX with disinterest and returned with the bottle. I had to hand it to the guy. He wasn’t impressed by wealth. He poured a glass for me, then asked if he could do anything else.

  “No, thank you. Just give me some privacy.”

  “Of course, sir.”

  Left alone, I drank and stared at my phone. I needed to call Sage, but I didn’t know what to say. I’d made progress today, but I was sure she was still skeptical. The wrong word could ruin everything. I’d lose the only girl who’d ever meant anything to me.

  I should have called immediately. Instead, I kept drinking. When my phone rang, I hoped it was Sage. I didn’t have the courage to call her, but if she called me I’d answer and put an end to my anxiety. I didn’t recognize the number on the Caller ID. Could Sage be calling from work?

  “Hello?” I answered.

  “Knox, it’s Desmond Harrington.”

  “Yeah?” The word sounded slurred even to my own ears. The alcohol made thinking nearly impossible. Thoughts swam in my head, but I couldn’t hold onto any one of them long enough to form a coherent sentence.

  “I, uh, wanted to follow up on our conversation. I hope you haven’t changed your mind about the merger?”

  “No.” Single syllable words were all I was capable of.

  “Good. I had my assistant draw up the numbers you requested.”

  “Req… west… ed?”

  “Um, yes. The numbers you requested about our female employees and their pay. It turns out your instincts were right. We only employee one woman at the executive level and she makes about eighty percent of what ther male counterparts are paid. I’m sure you want to take action on this quickly. Thankfully, we can fix this problem without having to call a board meeting. Which is good because I don’t think anyone on the board will ever agree to anything ever again. You’ve made quite a few enemies by refusing to approve this merger.”

  I started to laugh. Harrington joined me. I continued laughing long after he stopped, making me sound crazy.

  “Should I call back another time?” he asked.

  “No,” I said flatly.

  “So, I have your permission to increase the pay of our female employees?”

  I was a bit taken aback by his question. He was a senior executive at the company. Why did he need my permission to do anything?

  “Do it,” I replied, pouring another drink. I’d lost count of how many I’d had.

  “Excellent.”

  “And…” I slurred. “I want you to fire those bastards and replace them with women.”

  “Um… while I support your efforts to hire more women, we can’t fire any employee without due cause. As for the board members, they can’t be asked to step down unless we have a majority vote from the board. So I’m afraid our hands are tied. I will however instruct HR to focus on filling future positions with women. It’s not enough, but it’s a start.”

  “It’s a start,” I agreed. I could barely get the words out. Alcohol was swimming through my mind, clouding my thoughts. For a second, I forgot who I was talking to and why. My anxiety came back like a sledgehammer. It cut through the pleasant, disconnected feeling the booze had given me. I suddenly felt sick. My stomach cramped painfully, like I’d swallowed a handful of razorblades.

  “Do it,” I repeated again.

  Distantly, a small part of my mind still functioned intelligently enough to understand I sounded like a fool. Panic set in. I hung up the phone without saying goodbye. I stared at my phone. With mounting horror, I realized Sage could call at any moment. I became convinced that nothing good could come of it. She’d realize I was a phony, instantly hate me and I’d never see her again.

  I jumped up at ran out of the bar. The cold night air hit me like an ice bath. My breath fogged in front of me. I’d left my coat inside. I didn’t return to get it. I headed up the street, aimlessly. Headlights blinded my vision. I blinked and stumbled, running into two guys talking in front of a liquor store.

  “Watch it!” they screamed. “Goddamn drunk.”

  I pushed on, stumbling through the crowds of people walking along the city street. A group of tourists were taking pictures in front of the city’s most popular theatre. I wondered into the shot, photobombing them. When they checked their photos, they’d see my drunken face, ruining their vacation memories. The idea sent me into a fit of laughter.

  A cell phone started to ring. Panic returned. I didn’t want to talk to Sage now. A man passing by put his cell phone to his ear and said, “Hello?” It took me a second to realize that the ringing wasn’t coming from my phone.

  I suddenly felt terrified of spending the night alone. I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my Contacts. Girls’ names passed by in a blur. Amy. Marisol. Sylvia. Faith. Flashes of naked bodies ran through my mind in a kaleidoscope of sin. Sexual encounters bled together creating a single memory of debauchery. An orgy played out in my mind.

  All the girls of my past stared at me. They weren’t eager to fuck me, though. No, there was nothing but judgment in their eyes.

  I threw my cell phone as hard as I could. Two drunk frat boys cheered for some reason. I had no idea where my cell phone landed. I didn’t care. I headed in the opposite direction of their laughter. I was convinced they could read my thoughts and that their laughter was meant to mock me.

  I pushed against the crowd. People yelled at me and told me to watch where I was going. I ran through an intersection and was almost hit by a taxi. Somehow, I made it to the other side of the street alive.

  I walked, turning down one street then another. I had no idea where I was. I found myself standing in front of an older building with a walk-up. I sat down on the step and buried my head in my hands. I felt like crying, but no tears came. I wasn’t sure how long I sat that way before she appeared.

  “Knox?”

  I looked up and was surprised to find Sage standing in front of me. She held a bag of groceries in her hands.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked.

  I’d sobered up a bit since the bar, but I was still pretty drunk. She narrowed her eyes and cocked her head like a bird.

  “What am I doing here? What are you doing here?”

  I looked around. I didn’t recognize the street. Then I saw the liquor store. It was the same place Sage and I had bought booze for the Mario Kart party. I was sitting outside her building.

  “This is going to sound crazy, but I think I’m where I’m supposed to be.”
r />   She looked even more confused. I wasn’t sure what I meant either, only that I felt like I was exactly where the universe wanted me to be. That I’d managed to find my way to Sage felt like a sign.

  “Are you okay?” she asked.

  “Yeah. I won’t lie-I’ve had a few drinks.”

  She smiled. “I thought you might have.”

  Christ. How obviously drunk was I?

  “Do you want to come up?” she offered.

  “Yeah. If that’s okay?”

  “Of course.”

  I attempted to stand and fell back down on my ass. Sage put her grocery bag on the ground then put my arm around her shoulder for support. Once I was up I was steady on my feet. I offered to carry her groceries but she wouldn’t let me. Either she took offense at the idea of needing a man to carry her things for her, or she didn’t trust me not to drop her groceries and ruin them. Probably a bit of both.

  I followed her upstairs to her apartment. Dread washed over me as she unlocked her door. For some reason I was absolutely convinced the door would open and I’d be met by the smirking faces of Ansel and his friends. When the door opened I was relieved to see the apartment was dark.

  “Have a seat,” she said.

  I stumbled over to the couch and collapsed. Sage put the groceries away.

  “Can I make you something to eat?” she offered.

  I told her I didn’t want anything, but she insisted on making me a sandwich. She returned with a plate piled high with chips, pickles and a tall sandwich full of tofu, tomatoes, avocado, cucumbers and other vegetables. I devoured it all. Putting food in my stomach made me feel a little better. The knots in my stomach untangled themselves for the time being.

  Sage sat beside me, eating quietly. She watched me with a curious smile on her face.

  “What?” I asked.

  “Nothing. It’s just that I’ve never seen anyone eat that fast.”

  “It was delicious.”

  She shrugged modestly. “So, are you going to tell me what’s up?”

  “What do you mean?”