Worth the Wait (McKinney/Walker #1)

by Claudia Connor

  “I’m sorry.”

  It wasn’t the first time she’d said it, and he reassured her again, knowing she was worried about him. “It’ll be fine. Stop worrying.” He pulled her closer. “I’ll finish up my classes in the fall, make sure the guys are settled.”

  “They could step up,” Mia said of Zach and Dallas. “They’re as old as you were when you took over everything.”

  “Yeah. I think they will. But I’ll give them some time to get in the groove of college first.” They’d both decided to stick close and go to UVA. Nick still had his sights set on the FBI academy, but it wouldn’t be easy. He’d have to be away for twenty weeks, though after the first few, he’d be able to come home on the weekends.

  “I should stay.”

  “No. You shouldn’t.” No matter how much he wanted her to, she couldn’t. Her dream of being a surgeon was just as strong as it had been when he’d met her. Twenty-one years old and brilliant, he wouldn’t stand in the way of that. The fact that Harvard had awarded her a rare scholarship meant she was going back to Boston like she’d promised. “I’ve already got a line on a possible nanny. After school and nights when needed. It’ll work out. Don’t worry about it. It’s not your responsibility.”

  “Don’t do that.” Her soft fingers traced down his cheek, and she turned his face to hers. “Don’t put up walls.”

  But he had to put up some, or he wouldn’t survive this. Still didn’t know how he would do without her, and it had nothing to do with needing help with Hannah. It was all him. He needed her.

  Suddenly needing her again, right now, he came over her, framing her face in his hands. “Nothing will change,” he said even as his chest hurt with the silent fear that everything would change.

  They’d said “I love you” many times, but there was more. He felt more. “I never thought I would feel this way,” he said, staring into eyes he loved so much. “I mean…I knew what it was, I saw it with my parents, and I thought, I felt, so sure I’d never have that. That it wasn’t in me.”

  “Nick.” She caressed the side of his face, linked her hands behind his neck.

  “Maybe that’s the point,” he said. “Maybe no one has it until they find the other person who brings it. That’s what you did, Mia. You brought that missing piece. The only piece that would have ever fit.”

  With her fingers in his hair, she pulled him down for a kiss. “I love you, too.”

  THREE DAYS LATER, THEY stood just outside airport security. Mia would fly back to Boston the same way she’d come.

  “We’ll see each other in three months,” he said with his arms wrapped around her and her face buried in his chest. He felt her nod.

  “The girl with the plan,” he said, trying to make her smile, but she looked up at him, an unasked question in her eyes. “Hey, if you think I’m not steady enough to wait, that I don’t love you enough, you’re wrong.”

  “I don’t think that. I’m steady, too, in love with you, too.” She gave him a watery smile. “How often would we see each other anyway? It might be better even, me not being close but too busy to play.”

  And she wouldn’t end up helping him reach his dreams and letting hers slide by keeping house, looking after Hannah, and making sure the twins were eating meat and vegetables instead of mac and cheese. He loved her too much to let that happen. He smiled and pressed his lips to the top of her head. “I do love distracting you. I love you.”

  “I know. I love you. I’ll call you as soon as I get there.”

  He pulled her in for one more kiss.

  She called him as soon as she got to her gate. Then again during a brief layover, and again when she arrived home.

  They would have a lifetime together. Eight years was nothing in the course of a lifetime.

  Chapter 8

  HANNAH WAS SEVEN WHEN Nick was accepted into the FBI academy. Both Dallas and Zach offered to live at home after experiencing two years on campus. He made it through the academy and was assigned to the Richmond field office, an hour’s commute from Charlottesville. It was a juggling act a lot of the time, but he and his brothers made it work. Hannah was thriving, he loved his work, and he was able to keep his eye on his brothers. It didn’t leave a lot of time to see Mia.

  She didn’t have a lot of time, either.

  For six years, they talked on the phone and saw each other every few months. But he missed her.

  They saw each other more than most military families. He reminded himself of that when he was having a bad moment and stayed busy. If he wasn’t working a current case, there were past cases to study, in addition to trying to learn Persian—or Farsi, depending on who you were talking to—in the hopes of securing a spot with the antiterrorism task force. The twins graduated, and Dallas took off. Zach took a job as a fireman, which suited him much better than school ever did.

  Nick lived the life of a working single father who barely had time to breathe. Even if he weren’t devoted to Mia, he wouldn’t have had time to pursue a relationship. And the fact that he was devoted meant he had no desire to.

  Never once did he think giving up Mia might be worth companionship closer to home. He had no interest in touching another woman, and the thought of another woman touching him was absolutely unappealing. He only wanted Mia’s hands, her smell, her taste.

  On an evening like many others, he called her, letting it ring, planning to leave a message because chances were good she was either sleeping or on call. Lately, they talked through messages more often than in real time.

  “Nick?” She answered, sounding out of breath. “Hey.”

  “Hey. Glad I caught you.” Then he heard another, deeper voice. “Who’s there?”

  “Adam. He’s helping me move.”

  “Right.” She’d moved to a new apartment with some other female residents. And of course Adam was helping. Same guy she used to study with. He tried hard not to think about the male doctors she must be spending those long nights with. Men would do anything and everything they could to win a girl like Mia.

  “Where do you want this?”

  The other man’s voice was clear and close.

  Nick ground his teeth. Another man in her apartment, knowing where she lived, touching her things.

  “Just put it in the bedroom.”

  “He’s in your bedroom?”

  “Nick. Don’t do this. Please. You know I love you.”

  “You’ve cancelled my last two trips.” Because there’s something going on you don’t want me to see?

  “Mia? Mia! What about this one? I have to get going, so if you want to use my muscles, you better do it now.”

  Silence, then her heavy sigh. “Okay. Just a sec. Nick? Are you there?”

  “Yeah. I’m here.” That was the problem, wasn’t it? He was here—and she, and Adam, were there. “Sounds like you need to go.”

  “I do, but I’ll call you later. If I can.”

  Always qualified with that last bit, because you never knew who might have an emergency. Who might need her. He wondered if Adam ever had emergencies.

  “Okay, then. I guess I’ll talk to you later. If you can.”

  She said bye and hung up.

  Damn it. He was ruining things; he knew he was. If she wanted to be with Adam, which made him sick to think about, then he’d deal with that, fight for her. And if she didn’t want to be with Adam, then his insecurity would push her in that direction. His possessiveness would add to her strain, and she’d have someone else there to lean on. Exactly what the other man was waiting for. Shit.

  He didn’t want to be insecure, hated it, and he wanted to blame Mia for it, but it wasn’t her fault.

  He called her back and she answered on the first ring with a “Hey.”

  “I love you, Mia. That’s all. I know you have to go, but I just wanted to say that.”

  “I love you, too,” she said, and her voice softened.

  Some of the sick fear left him. “I love you so damn much. Don’t forget that.”

&n
bsp; “I won’t,” she said, and he could hear her smiling. “Don’t forget how much I love you, either, okay? Promise?”

  “I promise.”

  * * *

  ANOTHER MONTH PASSED, THEN it became three. She still discouraged him from going to Boston, saying he should enjoy any downtime, spend it with Hannah, not traveling. That she wouldn’t have any time at all, not even for coffee, working all weekend, always crazy busy.

  A few weeks later, he thought, Screw it. If all he could do was kiss her, then that was what he was going to do.

  He went by the hospital first and saw firsthand the crazy and the busy. Loud and hurried. “Excuse me.” He stopped one nurse as she tried to rush by him.

  “Hi.” Her eyes met his and brightened. Wherever she was going was suddenly not so important. “Can I help you?”

  “I’m looking for Mia James.”

  “Of course you are.” Her happy demeanor fizzled, and she started away. “She’s on break.”

  “Wait. Where is that? The cafeteria?”

  “I think she went out. The cafeteria coffee sucks.”

  “She went to the Griddle with Adam,” a passing nurse added. Was there something in her eyes? A knot began to form in his gut.

  The woman he’d stopped first looked even more unhappy. “With Adam? Are you sure?”

  “Yeah. Very.”

  “Figures,” the first nurse muttered. “Okay. So I guess she’s at the Griddle.”

  He waited. Was it not obvious he needed to know where that was? That he’d come to find his Mia and he wasn’t just going to walk out without her? Or did they expect the news of Adam to explain more than it obviously did?

  “And where is that exactly?” His tone had lost any friendliness it might have held before.

  He got the directions: out the ER, down a block on the corner. Dodging the incoming, he went back out into the cold and sloshed his way down the block. Please let her be alone. Please let her be alone.

  She wasn’t alone. She was sitting right by the window, as clear as day, having coffee with another man. Adam. The one she’d studied with in med school more than once, who’d recently helped her move into her new apartment. The same one who’d been in the bedroom that he had not.

  His palm slapped against the glass door hard enough to sting, and he pushed inside. God, he could hear her, the sound of her laughing, and it went straight to his heart. It swelled and then hurt when he saw her smiling face aimed at another man.

  He walked right up to their table. “Hey.”

  “Nick! Oh my God!” Mia’s eyes went wide with shock.

  With hard eyes, Nick watched as Adam reached across the table and covered Mia’s hand.

  And something inside him snapped. He could feel it coming apart.

  Mia was still staring at him. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

  His jaw was clenched almost too tightly to speak. “Surprise.”

  Mia tugged her hand from under Adam’s. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

  “No. I can see that.”

  She moved to stand, but Adam got out first, angling himself just enough that Mia couldn’t jump into his arms if that’s what she was about to do.

  He stared deep into Adam’s face, thinking of all the ways he could and wanted to hurt him. “We need to talk.” It was long overdue.

  “Okay,” Mia said. “I have to get back to the hospital, but—”

  “Not you. Him.”

  “Is there a problem?” Medium height, blond, clean cut, Adam looked exactly like you’d expect a gentleman who came from old money and rowed crew for Harvard.

  “Nick.” Sensing the fury rolling through him, Mia touched his arm. “Don’t do this.”

  “You don’t have to watch.”

  “Shall we go outside?” Adam asked.

  So civilized. He was feeling anything but civil. And he was no gentleman.

  He followed Adam out, went a few steps so he didn’t block the door. “I guess I haven’t made myself clear. Or maybe you’re not too bright. Or maybe,” he took a step forward, “you’re just the type of guy who makes moves on unavailable women.”

  Adam had the balls to glance at Mia with what any man would recognize as pure want. “She didn’t seem unavailable to me.”

  “You son of a bitch.”

  “Adam!”

  Nick barely heard Mia’s exclamation, didn’t take the time to think about her obvious shock before he struck. His fist connected squarely with Adam’s mouth. The guy didn’t go down, but he did stumble back.

  Adam wiped at his split lip, and Nick stepped close, clenching his fist. “You have coffee with her, you talk doctor stuff, but you do not touch her.” Nick jabbed his finger in the shorter man’s chest. “And listen, because this is important. You don’t even think about touching her. And if I have to come up here every fucking day to remind you who Mia belongs to, I will. I’ll be happy to.”

  There was a moment Mia could have gone to either one of them. Adam wiping at his bloody mouth or Nick opening and closing his fist, thinking he wasn’t done yet. She came to him. Her eyes were still wide, her mouth open slightly in shock.

  “Hey, babe.”

  The door to the diner opened. “Somebody going to pay for this coffee?”

  Mia reached into her pocket, but Adam went to the door. “I got it.”

  “I’m sorry, Adam. You know I’m with Nick.”

  “Yeah. I guess I do.” He gave her a sad look and went inside, getting out his wallet as he went.

  Mia turned back to Nick, smiled up at him. “Hey.”

  “Hey.”

  “You promised not to forget.”

  “Yeah, but I didn’t promise not to remind him or anyone else. Here.” He took her coat from her hands and held it open. “Put this on.”

  She slipped her arms in then wrapped them around his neck and kissed him. “I told you I was too busy to spend time with you.”

  “I know.”

  Her lips curved against his. “But you came anyway.”

  He finished the last button and turned up her collar against the wind. “Yes.”

  She tugged his face down until their lips met again. “Thank you.” Then she kissed him, so deeply, so full of welcome and happiness, he knew he’d done the right thing.

  He waited while she finished her shift, then waited some more while she finagled a trade so she could have the next thirty-six hours off. Thirty-six hours of just the two of them. He planned to make the most of it.

  Chapter 9

  IT WAS AFTER MIDNIGHT when they hit the door of her apartment at a near run, their mouths fused as they stumbled through. “I want to talk to you,” he said between kisses.

  “Yes,” she said against his mouth. “Me, too.”

  “And I want to look at you and…”

  “Me too.” Her fingers pulled at his hair while his flew over her back, her bottom, searched under her coat for her breast.

  “But not now.”

  “No. Not now,” she panted. “I can’t think right now.” She kissed him hard, nipped at his bottom lip, and he laughed.

  “I think you missed me.”

  “Yes. God, I missed you.” She reached for his belt and flipped the button of his jeans. It had been way too long. “Nick.”

  “I feel like a clumsy teen again.” He ran his hands over her, despising the layers of clothes.

  “You were never clumsy.”

  “Just on the inside then. God, you made me nervous.”

  She tipped her head back, making room for his seeking lips, and smiled. “Not as nervous as you made me. I can assure you.”

  Their mouths found each other again. Coats were ripped away, his sweater, her scrubs. It was rough and loud and wild, both of them forgetting how to breathe. She slid like silk over him, kissing his face, his chest, working her way down. She used her hands and mouth until he couldn’t remember his own name.

  By the time he finally thrust into her tight heat, his world was almost righ
t again. And then it was all the way right. He put his mouth to the pulse in her neck, his own heart shuddering at the feel of it beating against his lips. “You’re mine.”

  “I know. Always.” She struggled for breath. “Don’t ever let me go.”

  “Never.”

  She gave him everything— her body, her soul, all her love, all her trust, and he gave her back the same.

  Afterward, they lay together with her body draped over his. He stroked her back, combed his fingers through her hair like she loved. Her body felt melded and molded to his, but she wasn’t asleep.

  “What are you thinking about?” she whispered.

  “About waking up beside you, making love to you again while you’re warm and sleepy.”

  “Getting ahead of yourself, aren’t you?”

  “No.” His hands caressed her bottom. “I don’t think so.”

  “Mmm.” She agreed and wiggled against him.

  “You should be sleeping these thirty-six hours.”

  “No,” she whispered, almost sighed. “No sleeping.”

  “You’re tired. You’re not getting enough rest.”

  “I’m a doctor. We don’t sleep.”

  “You’re not eating enough or well.” He’d noticed that the second he’d laid eyes on her.

  “Mmm. Another thing about doctors.” She shifted so that she was still covering him but off to one side, with her head on his shoulder. “Tell me you’re eating five servings of fruits and vegetables a day.”

  “Vegetables, yes. Fruit, not so much. How did you get the time off?”

  “Someone owed me.”

  “Not Adam,” he growled, hoping.

  She tightened the arm draped across him and soothed with a quick kiss to his chest. “No. Not Adam. You didn’t have to hit him, you know.”

  “Yes. I really did.”

  “There’s nothing, there’s never been.”

  “I know. I just had to make sure he knows.”

  She smiled against him. “Did it make you feel better?”

  “Yes.” Then he needed her again. Forget waiting until morning. He covered her mouth with his, and she sighed, opened, and gave.