“We didn’t do this enough.”
“No.” She closed her eyes as the band drifted into a new song, one that told a story of promises and a lifetime of love. He’d lost the jacket, and she could feel the heat of him through the shirt.
Too soon, the song ended, and the band leader’s voice boomed through the speakers, jerking her from the moment.
“Ladies and gentleman, please join the bride, groom, and wedding party on the front steps. You’ll want to bring your cone of flower petals with you. Thank you!”
She backed away from Nick, making herself meet his eyes.
He held her hand, not letting her go. “I want to talk to you.”
“Mia!” Hannah rushed up, grinning widely. “Can you pretty please help me?” She reached around to the back of her dress. “I need to…you know.”
“Of course.” Potty break.
“Sorry, Nick,” Hannah said. “It’ll just be a minute, and then she’s all yours.”
Hannah was right, and just fifteen minutes later, she and Stephen were gone. In a flurry of rose petals, camera flashes, and well wishes, the newlyweds began their married life. The merry wedding guests returned to the ballroom to finish out the night.
“Mia.”
She paused halfway down the steps at the sound of Nick’s voice.
“What are you doing?”
She turned to face him with the best stoic face she could muster. “I’m going home. I’m really tired.”
“Can you wait?”
“No. I’m sorry.” It was true, she was tired, and she felt the dam crumbling, knew if he touched her, all her feelings would come out in a dangerous rush. It wasn’t the time or the place. She wanted him, wanted to take a chance. She also knew there was something she had to do first. She couldn’t ask him to let go of the past when she wasn’t willing to do the same.
He moved down the steps. “Mia—”
“I… can’t. I’m sorry. Not tonight.” And then she was in her car, closing the door quickly.
If she wanted a chance at that happiness with Nick, and she did, she had to put her own past behind her.
* * *
BY THE TIME ALL the guests left or were put into taxis, it was almost one. That didn’t stop Nick from going after Mia. He got to her house, not sure what he was going to say but knowing there was a lot to be said. A lot to make up for.
The garage door was down. The lights were out. He climbed the three porch steps and rang the bell. She was probably asleep, but that was too damn bad. They weren’t going another night without talking. He rang again then knocked. She has to be here. Then he got a really bad feeling. If she wasn’t here, where was she? Who was she with? He banged on the door with a closed fist. “Mia!” She was in there. He was almost sure.
“Mia,” he said again, then again, softer in case she was standing right on the other side of the door. “Please let me in. Mia?” Nothing.
He considered breaking in but decided against it. He’d come back tomorrow and the next day. Every day until she listened to him.
He went home and fell into bed exhausted, mentally and physically. His baby sister was in good hands. If he didn’t believe that, he never would have let her go. Little Hannah. Married. It would take some getting used to.
The timing was ironic and somewhat full circle. Hannah off on her own, his duty done in a way. At the same time, he was determined to start a life of his own.
Time only moved in one direction. That was life. Hannah moving on was certainly part of it, but Mia coming back into his life… that was the kicker. He could see this time line in his mind starting at nineteen and moving continuously to the right. All along the track were bright sections with Mia and dark sections without her.
He didn’t want any more sections without. No matter what it took, he would merge their lines again. He would do and be whatever it took to make her trust in those lines and in him. With his mind on a future with Mia, he drifted into sleep.
He woke early, going straight for caffeine. Minutes later, he was staring into his mug of black coffee. It was exactly like staring into Mia’s eyes. There hadn’t been one cup of coffee in ten years that he hadn’t thought that. Just another way she’d remained with him. And as always, he wanted to fall in just one more time and stay there, knowing that if he got another chance, he would take hold and never let go.
After a run and a shower, he checked messages and emails, killing as much time as he could, before he picked up his keys and walked out the door. As he drove to Mia’s, he got the promised text from his sister, telling him they were in Atlanta, flying out for Costa Rica in the morning.
It was nearly nine, and Mia’s house looked exactly as it had last night. The garage door was still down; the shades were closed. The only thing different was the local newspaper lying in the driveway. The newspaper she hadn’t gotten. Could be she wasn’t up yet.
Nick rang the doorbell and waited. No answer. So either she hadn’t come home, or she was still in there, ignoring him. Now he was desperate. “Mia!” he yelled. “Open the damn door.”
“Is there a problem?”
Nick looked over his shoulder at a man standing on the sidewalk. “No. No problem.”
“You sure? Because it sounds like there’s a problem.”
Nick turned slowly, right on the edge, but the man held his ground on the sidewalk.
“Mia’s my neighbor.” He pointed across the street and down a few houses. “I’ve never seen you here before.”
Nick felt his jaw tighten and took a slow, deep breath. “I appreciate the concern,” he said carefully, “but there’s no need. Okay? I’m an old friend.” And why the fuck was he explaining himself to this guy? He looked back to the door, willing it to open. Nothing. And he was making a scene.
Without a glance at the guy on the sidewalk, who was still staring at him, Nick got in his car and left.
He had every intention of returning later, but he got called in with a break on a new case. By Monday morning, he’d been on the job over twenty-four hours with only time for a quick shower and change of clothes. But he hadn’t forgotten his real mission. This time, he bypassed her home and went straight to her office. No way Mia was missing work.
“She is not in,” Mia’s receptionist told him.
Nick checked his watch. It was almost one thirty. “Fine. I’ll wait.” He turned to find a seat.
“I mean she’s not in today.”
He pivoted slowly to face her.
“She took a leave of absence.”
“What? For how long?”
“She didn’t say, but I couldn’t tell you that anyway. If you want to leave your name, I can give her a message if she checks in.”
“No thanks,” he said over his shoulder, already halfway to the door. He was going back to the house and wasn’t stopping until he was inside.
Nick pulled up in the driveway. The SUV jerked when he slammed it into park before he’d fully stopped. He rang the doorbell once. He wasn’t waiting any more. His body tensed to kick in the door, and he barely caught himself. But if he was going to knock down the door, better not draw a gathering of the nosy neighbors.
Her back door was way too easy to get into. One elbow jab to the glass pane, and he reached inside to turn the lock. Shit. She didn’t even have all her doors dead bolted. He opened the door and stepped in. No alarm either. It might be good for him at the moment, but he’d make sure that changed. Better yet, she’d stay with him.
He wasn’t sure what he was looking for. The house was silent. He went straight through the kitchen to the door that opened into the garage. No car. So she wasn’t home.
He went down the hall to her bedroom, passing the nursery on his way. He stopped, backed up. Scattered photographs covered the floor. “Oh, Mia.” There were pictures of a baby he didn’t know, along with older pictures from their past.
He went farther into the room and bent to pick one up. It was the two of them taken by Hannah when they were at the
waterfall. He was gazing down into Mia’s eyes, both of them laughing, a mischievous glow in their eyes. He remembered that day and what they’d been thinking.
He’d just whispered something to Mia about another afternoon spent in these woods, making her blush then laugh. And Hannah had snapped the photo. Hannah had asked what they were smiling about, which only made him laugh harder and Mia blush deeper.
He stared at her face in the photo, a photo she’d kept. One she’d recently had out. She was so beautiful, so young. They both were. So sure their lives would be forever intertwined. They were. He’d just let the weeds cover them for way too long.
There was more, loose photos and a baby album, and the picture he’d drawn as a boy. The one stating he would be an FBI agent like his uncle. At least some things had gone as planned.
She’d kept it all. Recently looked at it, and now she was gone.
His sixth sense kicked in. Worried, he went to her bedroom, but there was nothing there to tell him where she was. There was no sign she’d packed, at least not a great deal. He made a quick search of the bathroom. No toothbrush, but maybe she didn’t keep it out.
He went back to the kitchen, still unsure what he was looking for. There was nothing on the counters, so he started pulling open drawers. He found a pad of paper on top. He pulled it out and looked at it closely, barely able to make out the indentations from a ballpoint pen on the previous and missing page.
An East Texas address. He hadn’t given it to her, but he knew it. It was the same one he’d found. Shit. He knew what she was doing, and she wasn’t going to do it alone.
Chapter 25
NICK CALLED HIS PARTNER to get what he needed as he drove. His sole purpose was catching up to Mia. He merged onto Interstate 81 South and headed toward Texarkana. Mike called him back within the hour with Mia’s last location based on credit card purchases. Gas and a hotel. It confirmed what he’d thought. “Okay. Keep me updated.”
He’d catch up. He wouldn’t stop driving until he did. He drove through the night and another day, catching up with her Monday night. Or really, Tuesday morning. It was four in the morning when he parked beside her car in the motel parking lot and waited. He wouldn’t pound on her door. She needed sleep.
He passed the hours with coffee and kept watch during what was arguably the most important stakeout of his life. He finally caught sight of her just after nine. She walked out of the hotel toward her car, looking utterly exhausted.
He stepped out of his car, and she started. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” He raised his hands in supplication.
She shook her head. “You didn’t. But what…”
“I’ve been looking for you. Since Saturday night, actually.”
“Since Saturday night?”
“I told you I wanted to talk to you.”
“Yes, but…”
“But you weren’t there when I came by.”
She hesitated, looked at the ground then finally met his eyes. Hers were red, underlined by dark circles. She looked so tired, more tired than he’d ever seen her, and he wanted to grab her and carry her off.
“I was there Saturday. I’m sorry. I just couldn’t talk.”
“Why?”
“I’d decided I needed to come here, and… I guess I didn’t want to be talked out of it. I’m not going to kidnap her, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Her eyes widened. “Wait a minute. Is that why youÆre here? Because you think I’m going to kidnap her?”
“No. I’m here because I was worried about you. I’m here because I love you.”
She started to crumble, and he took a step forward, reached her just as she threw her arms around him. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I shut you out.”
He leaned back against the side of his car and held her while she let it out.
“I was letting it go, I was. I had the last name on the back of a photo and a postmark. I didn’t even know if that would be enough. Then when he gave me the address, I thought, no, put it behind you. Then I couldn’t, not without seeing her. Just to make sure she’s okay, that she’s there, that they didn’t change their mind.” She sniffed, lifted her face, and his heart turned over at her effort to pull herself back together. “I just want to see her.”
“Okay,” he said, because what else could he do? “Then that’s what we’ll do. We’ll see her.” He had no idea how this was going to go, how it could possibly go well, but he knew she needed it. “I’ll drive you.”
Mia stared at him for a minute, maybe thinking she would rather go alone or that she didn’t trust him enough to follow through. He joined their hands, and when she looked up, he gave hers a squeeze. “I’m with you.”
Blinking back more tears, she bit her lip and got in.
* * *
IT WAS A TWENTY-MINUTE drive under a steel-gray sky. Without a word, Nick pulled the car to the side of the street and stopped behind a small white hatchback. He cut the engine and put the windows down. She’d never been to Texas in December. Even with overcast skies, the air was warm and humid.
Several cars sat along the street and on white gravel driveways. Wild gardens grew in front and on the sides. Tall plants with dead ends that had once bloomed flowers and hadn’t been cut back yet.
“That’s it,” he said, pointing to her right and one house down.
The house was covered in clean white siding and had a dark-green awning. Red-brick steps led to a screened-in porch, and she could just make out the shape of someone. She heard a woman’s voice then a child’s, repeating the same unintelligible sounds. Maybe singing.
She didn’t realize Nick was getting out until she heard his door close. He walked around the hood and opened her door. Her heart pounded, and she couldn’t get her feet to move. Nick knelt in her open doorway. She met his gaze briefly, saw his brown eyes narrow as he studied her. He didn’t say anything, but she heard him just the same.
I’m here. I’m with you.
And thank God he was with her.
She fumbled to unlatch her seatbelt then took Nick’s outstretched hand. He offered himself and his strength, and she took both. Together, they walked over the cracked sidewalk where weeds fought for life, found an opportunity, and took it.
The screen door opened, and a woman and child moved into the yard with a big plastic ball. She stood the little girl on the grass and stood behind her.
Savannah. Walking.
She kicked the ball, barely grazing the side, and followed happily. The ball rolled toward Mia, and she bent to pick it up. She took two steps forward and held out the ball, but instead of taking it, Savannah turned and toddled quickly to the woman. Her mother.
“Can I help you?” the woman asked, her voice clipped, protective.
Savannah held onto the woman’s legs, peeked through. Mia stared, her feet rooted to the spot. Like the weeds, she shouldn’t be here.
Then there was recognition in the woman’s eyes. “Oh.” A breath whooshed out. “It’s you, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” Nick answered, because Mia couldn’t speak. She could barely breathe. It was Savannah, her Savannah, right here, right in front of her.
The woman picked her up and held her close, her expression a little sorry but possessive. “Do you, um… want to come inside?”
Mia’s hands shook. Everything inside her was shaking. Big cornflower-blue eyes stared blankly back at her. There was no recognition. Not even a smile.
“She doesn’t remember me,” Mia whispered to no one. One tear slid silently down her cheek.
“No, thank you,” Nick answered for her as his arm came around her shoulders, holding her together. Very nearly holding her up. “I don’t think so. She just, we just…”
“Wanted to see her.” The young woman tried to smile, but it wavered, and she held the baby closer. “I understand. I’m sorry. I wanted to say that. That I’m really sorry, and… thank you. I’m sorry I didn’t send more pictures. My phone broke, and then I… I just didn’t know if I should or…”
Mia shook her head slowly. “It’s okay.” She took a hesitant step forward, then another, until she was close enough to reach out and touch her. She stroked Savannah’s blond curls that were long enough to touch her shoulders now. The little girl stared wide eyed, then curled herself closer into the woman’s chest. “Mama.”
Mia felt herself shaking apart at that one word. She’d never heard Savannah say that to her. They hadn’t had the time. She bit her lip, felt Nick’s solid strength beside her.
“She’s well,” the woman said quickly. “The doctor says she’s growing, and she’s good, too. Almost always happy, except when she doesn’t want to take a nap.”
Mia could only nod. She touched Savannah’s hair again, her cheek, ran her palm over her small back. She wanted to snatch her away, to scream She’s mine, to sing to her back in the room she’d dreamed in as an infant. A room she didn’t even remember now but, for Mia, was all that was left.
Nick eased her hand away, held it in his. That was good, because she never would have been able to stop touching Savannah on her own.
“Tell her I…Tell her I loved her. Please.” I still love her.
With tears in her bright-blue eyes, the woman nodded. “I will. I’ll tell her.”
Mia took another long look, drank her in, knowing it would be the last time.
“Nick.” Her voice trembled. She couldn’t make her feet move.
“Thank you,” Nick said, his voice strong like the arm around her waist.
Nick led her away, down the cracked sidewalk, on shaky legs. She didn’t look back. Her chest was on fire. She couldn’t swallow past the knot of unshed tears in her throat. The second the car doors were closed, she fell apart in his arms.
Nick cupped the back of her neck and drew her close until their foreheads touched. “Breathe with me.” She sucked in a ragged breath, her chest heaving with the effort to gain control.
Worth the Wait (McKinney/Walker #1) Page 21