She cried until the arms that clung to him fell away in exhaustion, until her chest ached and her throat burned. “I’m okay,” she whispered hoarsely. He hesitated to release her, and she appreciated it, but she was done. Spent. “I’m okay. Let’s go. I want to go.”
“Okay, baby.”
When they merged onto the highway, she put her window all the way down. She laid her head on the edge and imagined the harsh wind blowing it all away.
* * *
NICK HAD ALREADY ARRANGED for the rental company to retrieve her car, so he kept driving right out of town, putting time and distance between Mia’s heartache. She didn’t fill the small space with her presence like she had a few weeks ago. Like seeing Savannah had drained her.
He would fill her. If she gave him half a chance, he would spend the rest of his life filling her up.
She didn’t say anything, and neither did he until they stopped for gas an hour later. She sat perfectly still, dry eyed, with her hands in her lap. He paid for the gas and handed her a Coke, figuring she could use the sugar.
“She’s happy,” she said, looking at him for the first time. “Didn’t you think so?”
“Yes.” He took one of her hands, brought it to his lips, and kissed her knuckles, holding her cold skin to his lips. His heart had broken right along with hers, seeing the child staring back unknowing and the tears drenching Mia’s face.
“Yes,” she repeated softly. “It’s good that she’s happy.”
They drove another two hours to a resort hotel in Arkansas.
“We’re stopping here? I thought you’d need to get back.”
“Nah. No hurry.”
“Wait. My car.”
“I arranged for it to be brought back to Virginia. Don’t worry.” They drove up a steep driveway to the hotel. “This looks nice, huh?” He’d checked it out the day before on his phone while she slept. A popular hotel with old stone on the outside and suites with fireplaces within. They checked in and went up to their room. It lived up to all the pictures.
Hours later, Nick sat on the bed in jeans and a T-shirt. He leaned back against the headboard, his legs stretched out on the covers while he pretended to watch TV. Mia lay beside him. She hadn’t cried again; she was just quiet. Really quiet. Saying no more than “okay” and “no thanks.”
He looked down at her head pillowed on his thigh. He’d been running his fingers slowly through her hair. It was all he could do.
He knew a part of her had hoped to rescue the child from a bad situation, anything so she didn’t have to leave her there. He hadn’t been able to do anything then, either, nothing but hold her hand.
“I’m okay,” she said softly. “I’ll be okay now. I got what I needed.”
“Did you?”
“Yes.” She shifted away and moved her head to her own pillow. “I’m just tired.”
And emotionally strung out. He got it. He stood and pulled the curtains closed before muting the TV and crawling under the covers beside her. He propped himself up against a pillow and drew her into him until she rested her head on his chest.
“Thank you for coming, Nick.”
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”
She scooted closer and stretched her arm farther across his chest. “I miss this more than anything. Your arms around me, making everything better. How do you do that? How do you make everything better just by holding me?”
“Maybe because I love you.” With his hand in her hair, he tugged her head back and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. “Go to sleep.”
She did, and when she woke a few hours later, he was still there. She stretched beside him and sat up, looking sleepy, but her face had more color.
“Are you hungry? There’s a great restaurant.” She’d eaten a little today—a bite of a hamburger, a couple of fries.
“Not really, but I’m sure you are.”
He smiled. “I could eat.”
She nodded and headed for the bathroom.
“You know what I’d really like to do?” he asked.
She stopped, looked back. “What?”
“Go to a movie.” He saw the surprise in her eyes. “Come on. Let’s go to a movie. You can have popcorn and candy for dinner.”
Knowing exactly what he was doing and why, she mustered a wobbly smile, but she only addressed the food part. “You’re going to eat popcorn for dinner?”
“Sure. And nachos. And a pretzel. Maybe a hotdog.”
She shook her head, but he got his first real smile—and maybe something else he was afraid to hope for. She took his face in her hands and kissed him lightly on the lips. “Thank you.”
They made it a double feature, and true to his word, he ate one of almost everything they had, including half of Mia’s popcorn. The first movie was an action sequel to something they’d both seen a few years ago. Oddly, both of them had seen it alone. The second was about the plight of a family stuck in a foreign country.
She was right, there wasn’t a lot of talking required at a movie with someone, but it held a certain intimacy. Sitting in the dark beside someone you knew, someone you loved. He held her hand more during the second film, as there was less eating going on. At one point, she rested her head against his bicep, absently tracing his forearm with her fingers.
He wanted it to be like this for the rest of his life. Touching her, sitting beside her, loving her.
They were quiet as they left the theater and drove back to the hotel. His own thoughts swirled and circled. He’d give a lot to know what she was thinking. When he came out of the bathroom, she was standing on the balcony in the thick hotel robe, her hair blowing loosely around her shoulders. It was longer now than the first time he’d seen her months ago.
He stepped out, closing the door behind him to keep out the cold mountain air. She looked so small and alone out there, just her and the vast black sky behind her. He caught her from behind, loving the sensation when her hands slid over his arms wrapped across her body. He’d waited long enough. They’d lost enough time. The time for thinking and hoping was over.
He turned her in his arms. “Mia.” He traced a finger over her brow, brushed her hair back on one side. He’d waited twelve years to do this, and it was harder than he thought. Not the asking but facing her answer.
“What is it?” Mia touched his cheek, comforting, as she always did.
Feeling undeserving, he pulled her hand away and held it tightly in his own. “I would have come with you. You didn’t have to do this by yourself.”
“I know.” She looked down then back up. Her eyes were clearer, her expression lighter. “I thought it was my pain alone to let go.”
“I love you. That makes your pain my pain.”
“I know that, too. I see it now. I understood you were hurting before. I understand better now why you couldn’t let me in. I’m sorry I put restrictions on you. I didn’t say it, but I thought it. I thought, ‘What if he feels guilty again? What if all the blame and anger come back?’ But that’s not fair. Two steps forward, one step back. Good days and bad days. I can’t promise I’ll never be sad about Savannah again. I can’t ask any more from you.”
He stared into the eyes of the woman he loved, took one deep breath. Everything he ever wanted was right here in his arms, and the only other thing he wanted was a promise that she would always be there.
He let out the breath he was holding and looked deep into her eyes. “I need you to be mine again, Mia, and even more, I need to be yours.” With his eyes still locked with hers, he pulled the ring from his pocket. “I’ve had it for twelve years. Don’t you think it’s time you wore it?”
She shook her head, her eyes wide as he slid the ring onto her finger. “You kept it? I didn’t think…”
“It was something good from that day. Even if I never thought there could be anything good from that time, I was wrong. You were good. We were good. I haven’t felt anything good or right since then, until now, until I saw you again, until I held you again. Marry
me, Mia.”
“Nick—”
“I lost myself, and I’m sorry. I heard you, but I didn’t answer. I locked you out, and I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”
“Nick—”
She tried to lay a finger over his lips, but he pulled it away and kept going. “We’ll have a baby, Mia—a houseful, as many as you want.” His throat was clogged and dry. Desperate, he took her face in his hands. “I’m yours. I’ve always been yours. Give me a chance to make you happy.”
“Nick!” She curled her fingers around his wrists. “I’ve waited twelve years to say yes. Let me say it.”
“Okay.”
“Yes. I’ll marry you.” She smiled. “No more apologies, no looking back at what we were or what could have been. Just us, as we are now. It doesn’t matter how long it took us to get here. All the years are spread out in front of us. I can see them. That’s what matters.”
His heart breathed a sigh of relief, and he crushed her to his chest, swearing he’d never let her go. Then he did something he’d never done. Not when his parents died, not when Hannah was lost or when she was found.
He cried. His wall was breached. The dam opened. He cried for Mia’s broken heart, for their baby, for the two of them, and for all the time they’d lost. “I love you. So much.”
“I love you, too.” Still holding his face in her tender hands, she kissed his lips. “We’ve struggled. Let’s have our peace.”
Walking her back into their room, Nick drew the robe away, brought her down with him to the cool sheets. Everything was right here, everything he needed and thought he’d lost. He took her hand, pressed a kiss to her palm, feathered another on the inside of her wrist, dragging his lips along the smooth skin of her arm.
“I’m yours,” he said, meeting her eyes, placing her hand over his heart. “I’ve always been yours.”
With tears in her eyes, she caught his face, pulled him down for a soul-searing kiss. Being with Mia had always been a religious experience. Never more than now. Now it was coming home. A reconciliation of hearts that had been lost and now were found.
They savored each other, gave each other all the love they’d once had and even more, all that had built up over the years. Gave and gave until it was more than it had ever been. Passion and peace. How many times had he dreamed of this, of loving her again, feeling her hands on him again?
“I missed you,” he whispered, kissing over her face, down her neck, her breasts. “God, I missed you until I thought I would die from it. I dreamed of you. Some nights it was so real I could hear you breathing, I could smell your hair.”
With her scent surrounding him and her name whispered in the dark, she filled him, his heart and his senses. He ran his hands and mouth over her until she was trembling, and when he drove into her, it was his name on her lips. Not whispered with hope or need or sadness but with faith and love.
In the quiet, she curled against him, fitting like lost puzzle pieces coming back together. They loved and slept and loved again. In the early morning hours, she came awake to him slipping inside her.
She moaned, and he stopped. “Sore?”
“No. It’s good,” she said softly, slowly. “Making up for lost time?”
“Lots,” he said, moving with long, lazy strokes. “It’s going to take a while. We better stay here a few more days.”
“Yes,” she barely managed on a gasp when he slipped a hand under her thigh and went deeper. Higher and higher she went until something inside her burst and she floated along on waves of pleasure. He gave a final thrust then buried his face into her hair.
Here was the love they’d once shared. Here was their peace.
Epilogue
~ One year later
NOT FOR THE FIRST time, Mia and Nick joined Hannah and Stephen at their new home for dinner. Tonight was NFL playoffs and barbecue. And, of course, baby time. Hannah sat next to Mia on the couch, nursing three-week-old Mitchell Michael McKinney.
Anxious for those days herself, Mia rubbed both hands over her belly. Only four months along and already as big as a house. Her age, combined with recently discovered endometriosis, had led to a round of fertility drugs, which had led to not one, not two, but three babies. Two boys and a girl. The only thing she and Nick disagreed about was who was more excited. At the upper end of her child-bearing years, they both figured it was a good deal to get all of them at once.
The second Hannah moved Mitchell to her shoulder, Stephen was at her side.
“Come here, big boy.” He took his son, gently laid him over his shoulder, patted his back. “Most handsome boy.”
“Hey,” Mia protested. “I’ve been patiently waiting my turn.”
“Daddy’s first,” Stephen said.
“Mmm.”
Mia fake pouted, and Nick eyed Stephen, pointed, and held up a finger. “You, one. Me”—he pointed to himself—“three.” He held up three fingers.
The game had been going on for months, since they were running out of things to pretend to dislike about each other. Mitchell let out a proud burp then that unmistakable sound of filling his diaper. Nick laughed and faked a gagging sound, to which Stephen responded, “Me, one. You, three.” Nick was instantly shut down by that thought, and they all laughed.
Hannah started to rise. “I need water.”
Mia scooted to the edge of the couch and began to rise. “Me, too.”
“I’ll get it.” The men spoke at once.
“Best friends,” Hannah said.
“Practically twins,” Mia added, propping her feet on the ottoman next to Hannah’s. “If you won’t let me get up, I could use some more dip,” Mia called out.
“Me, too,” Hannah said.
While the men plated their food, Hannah scooted closer and laid both hands over her belly, hoping to feel a light kick. “I can’t believe how fast you’re growing.”
“Tell me about it.” Everything was happening fast, their bright future racing toward them with so much happiness she sometimes felt dizzy with it.
She and Nick had married three weeks after returning from Arkansas. They had a short engagement, as they agreed there should be no more wasted time. A week-long honeymoon had immediately followed. Soon after their return, they bought a house and, not long after that, found out they were pregnant.
It was happening fast but nothing seemed too fast for them. It felt more like finally.
Their love wasn’t as strong as it had been before—it was stronger. The reality was better, new, more than anything she could have imagined. They’d never had this. Never traveled like they’d done on their honeymoon, never had hours and hours to make love except for those few days in New York. And that had been so fleeting.
Most of all, they’d never had this single-minded focus on each other.
This was their future, their days and nights and weeks and months and years together. Nick was talking about making a change at work, moving away from field agent to let the younger guys take over.
She got the feeling he might have felt that way for a while but as with her, work had been all he had, a way to pass time.
Hours later, she was just as happy but not laughing as Nick removed her clothes, bringing her blood to a boil. He’d been fascinated with her swollen breasts, lavished them with attention. But not nearly as fascinated as he was with her belly.
They lay facing, their faces inches apart, but his attention was on the babies. “Hello in there.” He smoothed his palm over her ever-growing stomach, kissed the top. “Baby Boy One, Baby Boy Two, and Princess. Don't crowd your sister in there, boys. And no kicking her.”
Mia thought Nick was secretly glad there was only one girl, and he had already singled her out. She predicted his princess would come out busting all their balls, but it would be fun to watch.
“Don’t forget about the mom.”
With another kiss to her belly, Nick brought his lips back up to hers. “Oh, I haven’t forgotten about her.” He proved it by brushing
his thumb over her sensitive nipple and deepening the kiss.
“Ahh,” he said when she arched into him. “There you are.”
“Yes. Here I am.” With her hand cupping his cheek, she gazed at him with all the love she felt shining back at her.
Nick laid one wide hand over her stomach, said goodnight to their babies, then gave her his undivided and exceptionally skilled attention.
THE END
Turn the page to read the first chapter of WORTH THE FALL, Matt and Abby’s story.
Other Books by Claudia Connor
Coming Soon:
Where I Belong
A Titan Novella
Available Now:
Worth the Fall
McKinney Brothers 1 ~ Matt and Abby
Worth the Risk
McKinney Brothers 2 ~ Stephen and Hannah
Worth It All
McKinney Brothers 3 ~ JT and Paige
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Excerpt from
Worth the Fall
by Claudia Connor
Chapter 1
Worth the Wait (McKinney/Walker #1) Page 22