Phantoms of Fall (The Haunting Ruby Series Book 2)

by Joy Elbel

  Now that my brain was a little less fuzzy, I checked the calendar to find our magical day. November 25th, 2012—the day I would remember in graphic detail for the rest of my life.

  Zach selected a red marker out of my pen holder and wrote “Ruby Matthews Appreciation Day” on that date and neatly drew a heart around it. “I promise to make it special for you, Ruby.”

  He gave me a sweet kiss and reminded me that we had one more movie to watch. Since it was still his night, I instructed him to sit back down while I grabbed us another round of sodas. I turned out the lights and sat down beside him.

  The second movie I picked was a romantic comedy. It was a total chick flick but Zach pretended to love it for my sake. I don’t know how we kept our hands to ourselves, but we did. What was hot and steamy only moments earlier was now warm and cozy. Even if Zach Mason wasn’t perfect, he was the perfect boyfriend for me. In twenty-two days, though, he would forever be more than just my boyfriend.

  36. The Beginning of the End

  Memories of that night stayed close to my heart long after Zach went home. It’s a good thing, too, because free time with him was non-existent for the rest of the week. Every teacher piled on the assignments until I thought my brain was going to explode. We tried to study together a few nights, but it was obvious that our minds were on other things. Finally, we both agreed that our schoolwork had to come first so we settled for pre-bedtime phone conversations instead.

  We had a lot to talk about without even mentioning our big plans. Our families decided to have Thanksgiving Dinner together at Rosewood. I’d never had a home cooked turkey dinner before and I was especially happy to hear that Diane Mason would be doing the honors. Shelly’s cooking had come a long way, but I don’t think any of us—Shelly included—would have trusted her alone with the bird.

  Rachel was worried about the still-missing Crimson and in turn we were all worried about her. It was so weird to see her moping around school looking like, well, me a month ago. She and Boone went from being the couple everyone wanted to be to the couple everyone felt sorry for. The only good thing to come out of it? Boone’s performance on the field skyrocketed landing him his pick of football scholarships. That and the ever mounting stress of their situation only seemed to strengthen their relationship.

  The upcoming suicide prevention assembly lost some of its importance for me. Garnet left me alone after Halloween—I went a full two weeks without a single sighting. I was able to eat normally again and I started to forget what my original goal was—to find out what Garnet wanted so she could rest in peace. But this is me we’re talking about— normal never lasts long.

  It all started the Monday before Thanksgiving. I felt so good after Zach and I got back together that the darkness that fell over me took me by surprise. As I crossed the threshold into the school that morning, it was like I stepped into a black cloud. My body felt heavy and every movement seemed to take twice the amount of energy it should have. I felt ugly, like everyone was staring at me because I was so hideously deformed. As I walked, I stared at the floor to hide my face.

  “Ruby!” Zach took me by the shoulders and tried to make eye contact. “Ruby, are you okay?” The second he touched me, I felt like myself again. “I’m fine, why do you ask?” Whatever just came over me was gone as quickly as it came.

  “You were acting kinda weird.” I could see the fear in his eyes when he said, “For a minute there, it was like you were someone else.”

  “What? No, I’m definitely me. I just got a strange feeling when I walked into the school—that’s all.” That was all it was, right?

  “Are you sure? You seemed….” Zach leaned close to my ear and whispered the dreaded word. “Possessed.”

  “Oh, no—that’s not possible. I already asked Rita about that and she said it couldn’t happen.” “Whew! That’s a relief!” Zach opened his locker and pulled out his math book. “But you did say you felt strange— strange how?”

  I explained the sensation to him and he looked puzzled. “Have you ever felt that way before?”

  “No, I haven’t and I hope I never do again.”

  He slung his arm over my shoulder and gave me a squeeze. “I hope you don’t either, sweetie.” That hope went right out the window as I walked into homeroom. One look from Mr. Raspatello and I felt horrible again.

  “I don’t feel well—I need to use the restroom!” I blurted as I turned around and bolted out of the room. I walked quickly with my head down the whole way there. The first bell rang as I opened the restroom door meaning I would probably have the place to myself. Once I was sure I was alone, I took a peek in the mirror and instantly wished I hadn’t. I was hideous!

  My face was bloated to the point where I barely recognized myself. I touched my cheek gingerly with my fingertips. What happened to me? It looked like I had a bad allergic reaction to something—but what? And why didn’t Zach tell me how awful I looked?

  What else was wrong with me? I slid off my sweater so I could take a closer look. Every part of my body was huge. Large bulges protruded from my tank top where none existed before. My jeans were so tight I was in danger of a serious wardrobe malfunction. I hated what I saw—every last bit of it. How could I have gained that much weight without noticing it?

  I hated myself so much that I wanted to cry. Zach could never love me looking like this. In a fit of frustration, I grabbed at various parts of my body willing them to go away but they didn’t budge. After my appetite returned, I pigged out on multiple occasions. How could I let this happen?

  The scrambled eggs and bacon I had for breakfast were so good that I had a second plate. That had to be it—I just ate too much for breakfast, that’s all. There was a quick remedy for that. I ducked into the nearest stall and stuck my finger down my throat. Again and again, I regurgitated until all I could taste in my mouth was bile. When I was finished, I felt so much better. Now, I could face the world.

  I didn’t look completely normal but definitely better than when I walked in. I just needed to stop pigging out and I would be fine. My mouth felt disgusting so I fished into my pocket for a breath mint. Just before I placed it on my tongue, I reconsidered. The last thing I needed were empty calories floating around inside me. What I needed was some gum. At least with gum, I would burn off all of the calories by chewing it. Rachel always had some in her purse—all I needed to do was ask for a piece.

  When I returned to homeroom, Zach gave me a worried look.

  “I’m fine. I just need some gum. Rachel, do you have a piece?”

  She nodded her head and tossed me one. Rachel wasn’t talking much these days.

  “You never chew gum. What’s up?”

  “Nothing’s up!” I snapped at him. “It’s just a piece of gum.”

  “Sorry,” he said quietly. “I’m worried about you, that’s all.” “I’m fine but I have a lot of homework to do and so do you.” With a flick of my hand, I motioned for him to slide over. I was gross and I didn’t want him looking at me.

  “Sorry,” he said again as he repositioned himself in his seat. With my French book open in front of me, I tried to concentrate. The words only swam in front of my face. How did I get so fat so fast? I could practically feel it oozing over the top of my jeans. Gathering my sweater around me, I tied it tight to hold it all in place. I was disgusting. Out of the corner of my eye, I took a look at Misty—so thin, so perfect. No wonder she was popular and I wasn’t.

  When the bell for first period rang, I bolted for the hallway. The quicker I got there, the fewer people would see me looking like this.

  “Ruby!” Zach called, “Wait up!” Why would he want to be seen with me? I decided to save him the embarrassment. “Gotta go!” I shouted as I took off down the hall.

  In every class, I sat with my head down in an attempt to hide my ever burgeoning double chin. If I didn’t soon get rid of it and every other unwanted bulge, Zach would break up with me. All it would take was a few days—maybe a week—to get back to where I
was, right? I hardly ever ate lunch anyway so skipping it wouldn’t really help my cause. If I just ate something like salad for dinner for the rest of the week, I should be back on track. Having a game plan helped me feel a little bit better.

  Zach was getting his cast off today so I wouldn’t have to worry about him seeing me after noon—his doctor appointment would take care of that. Maybe if I skipped dinner tonight, too, I could take the edge off of the bloat and look more normal for tomorrow. A few cans of diet soda would be dinner for me.

  Dammit, Shelly! Why did she have to go and become a gourmet chef at a time like this? The smell of beef burgundy met me as soon as I opened the front door. Maybe if I had a small plate, I would still be okay. But it tasted so good and I consumed a normal-size portion before I realized it. Why did I eat so much? I promised myself I wouldn’t do that! It was too late now—or was it? Okay, I guess I could get rid of it the same way I did my breakfast. Just this one time.

  As soon as my fork hit my empty plate I felt more disgusting than ever. I gave Dad and Shelly a quick excuse about tons of homework and ran up the stairs. When I was finished, I felt…cleansed, triumphant almost. It was going to be okay. I was going to lose this weight.

  Zach called to see how I was and I wasn’t lying when I said I felt great. I was one step closer to looking good enough to be his girlfriend. While we talked, my stomach started to rumble. That was a good sign, right? It meant that I didn’t ruin everything by eating so much for dinner. I was hungry but it felt good. I could do this.

  Zach wanted to come over to see me for a while but I told him no. I used tons of homework as my excuse. I wanted to spend time with him but the less he saw me looking this way, the better. Finishing my homework in record time, I spent the rest of the evening exercising. Exhausted, I was asleep soon after my head hit the pillow.

  I woke up before the alarm feeling like I was literally starving to death. Maybe eating a little bit of breakfast would be alright. I would let the mirror be the judge of that. With my eyes closed, I positioned myself in front of the full length mirror in the bathroom trying to think myself thin.

  When I opened my eyes, I was mortified. I was pretty sure I looked worse than I did the day before. How was that possible? Furiously, I pinched at the fat on my body until it hurt. Why wouldn’t it go away? “I hate you,” I told my reflection. “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!” Blindly, I grabbed the first thing I could find and flung it into the mirror. As the glass shattered into tiny pieces, I started to cry.

  I was so hungry! But I couldn’t eat—my big day with Zach was less than a week away. There was no way in hell he was going to see me naked when I looked this disgusting. No way in hell. I had to get rid of it all by Sunday, so I chugged a diet soda to take away the hollow feeling in my stomach. And then I drank another.

  If it weren’t for the huge test in physics today, I would have begged to stay home from school. We were already warned that there wouldn’t be a makeup test if we missed it, so I figured I was pretty much screwed. I dug through my closet to find the largest thing I owned so I could at least hide some of my ugliness.

  Hallelujah! I borrowed one of Zach’s hoodies one night when I got cold and forgot to give it back. It would hang almost to my knees, concealing as much of me as I could possibly hope for. Paired with my baggiest pair of jeans, everything but my puffy face was hidden from view. Perfect.

  On my way out, Shelly scolded me for not eating breakfast and insisted I at least take a banana with me. She wanted me to be fat didn’t she? I forced a smile through clenched teeth and took the banana without as much as a thank you. Halfway to school, I tossed it out the window into the woods. If I left it in my car, I would only be tempted to eat it.

  Zach was waiting for me with a smile when I arrived. Until he took one look at me as I hauled my heftiness out of the car. As his smile faded, my head sunk further down into the hoodie.

  “Forget to do laundry?” he asked, forcing the smile back onto his face. “Yeah, something like that.” He tried to take my hand as we walked but I shoved it quickly into my pocket. He was too nice—I knew he really didn’t want to hold my chubby hand so I would save him the humiliation.

  “Are you feeling okay?” Zach explored me from top to bottom with his eyes, probably adding up the pounds I gained in his head.

  “Just worried about my physics test—that’s all.” And how fat I was, and how he was probably going to break up with me because of it, and how no boy would ever love me when I looked like this—that’s all.

  “I got my cast off yesterday—check it out!” Zach held up his left arm for me to see. It was infinitely smaller than his right arm, scrawny and thin. That’s what I needed—six weeks in a full body cast.

  “It looks good. I’m happy for you.” And unhappy for me.

  “Good? It looks totally pathetic! I need to spend some serious time in the weight room to bulk it back up.”

  Life was so unfair. Zach was complaining about being too small while I could literally feel myself gaining weight just thinking about food. “I know. You’ve really got it tough, don’t you?” I replied sarcastically. “Whoa. Ruby, what’s wrong with you? You’re acting like you did yesterday morning when we walked into the school.”

  When I wouldn’t look at him, he brushed my hair away from my face, grazing my cheek with his fingers as he did. It felt like the storm clouds broke and I was staring at the most vibrant rainbow ever. The best part? Instantly, I felt thin again. What was going on with me?

  The same thing happened yesterday but that feeling didn’t last. In fact, when it returned I felt ten times worse. Anticipating the same conclusion, I brushed his hand away.

  “No—not while I look like this.” I didn’t need anything from the bottom of my locker but I buried my face in there anyway so he couldn’t see me.

  “My hoodie isn’t exactly the best fashion statement you’ve ever made but you’re still beautiful, you know.” “I forgot—you do love dogs, don’t you?” I said as I stood to face him. I made this self-deprecating statement without realizing I said it out loud.

  His mouth dropped open in disbelief. “How could you say something so horrible about yourself? You’re gorgeous, Ruby, how can you not know that?”

  “You don’t have to lie to me, Zach. I can handle the truth.” No, I couldn’t. If he stood there and told me exactly how wretched I looked, I would simply kill myself.

  “I’m not lying but I am worried about you. You’re not yourself—no matter what you say.” As we walked down the hallway, I could feel the weight creeping back onto my body. Ounce by ounce, pound by pound, ton by ton until I felt bigger than I did when I first woke up. I couldn’t sit with him in homeroom while I felt like this. For some stupid reason, he would want to slide his desk over and talk to me and I couldn’t stand for him to be anywhere near me when I looked this way. I asked Mr. Raspatello for a library pass and left without a word when the bell rang.

  The library was dead as usual so I took my favorite table near the window. My original plan was to do some last minute studying for my physics test but I was starving and all I could think about was food.

  Thanksgiving was coming and I was looking forward to tasting Zach’s mom’s turkey. She was such a good cook—it would probably be the best turkey I ever tasted. And the stuffing—oh, how I loved stuffing! Mashed potatoes with gravy. My mouth was watering just thinking about it.

  No! I couldn’t think about it, couldn’t think about eating it. I was fat and I didn’t deserve anything good to eat. Not on Thanksgiving, not ever. The rumble in my stomach grew so loud I was sure Ms. Wright could hear it. I glanced up at her desk and she shot me a look that said I was right. Maybe I should have eaten that banana after all.

  There were only four days left until my big day with Zach—how was I going to lose what had to at least be fifty pounds in such a short period of time? I didn’t dare even go near the scale—I was afraid to see the actual damage. Like it or not, the only answer was
I couldn’t eat anything until Sunday night after Zach went home. It would be tough but I could do it. I accomplished harder things with less motivation, didn’t I? A stop at the grocery store would be necessary though to stock up on more diet soda and maybe some celery or something else that was practically calorie free. I pulled out a sheet of paper and started to make a shopping list. Diet soda, celery, carrots, and gum. There, that should do it.

  I avoided Zach all day but there was nothing I could do about last period math class. Luckily, I had phys ed seventh period—maybe if I worked hard enough I could burn off a pound before I saw him. I changed into my uniform in the furthest corner of the locker room that I could find in the hopes that no one would see what a whale I’d become.

  Coach Hunter called in sick today so our substitute let us pick what we wanted to do. When most of the votes went to volleyball, I asked if I could do some laps on the track instead. The sub wasn’t going to let me until I mentioned my after school deal with Coach Hunter and my plans to join the track team in the spring. When she finally agreed, I was ecstatic and practically ran straight through the door to get outside.

  I always felt better after I ran but today, I really needed that adrenaline boost. I needed that sense of achievement, that sense of being less of a loser than I actually was. When my side started to hurt from running, I ran just a little bit faster because the pain meant I was accomplishing something.

  On my way to math class, I started to feel light headed like I was on the verge of passing out. My vision started to fade into a fuzzy haze and I gripped the handrail to keep myself from falling down the stairs. This probably wasn’t a good sign, but I didn’t care. I would do anything to lose this weight—anything. Including die in the process. I would rather be dead than look like this.

  37. Nothing Else Matters

  Zach was waiting for me when I got to math class with a strange look on his face. He was probably trying to figure out what he ever saw in me in the first place. If I didn’t soon get myself back in order, he never would.