Degrade

by T. L Smith

  “Oh, my fucking God,” she screams as I enter her. I try not to laugh, she’s so damn tight. I smile thinking she hasn’t been with anyone since the last time. She arches up, her breasts in my face and her hands in my hair. Trailing their way down, scraping as they do across my back, inflicting pain as she goes.

  “Fuck me like it’s the last time you will see me, Zeke,” she says looking at me. I should have stopped then, that’s the moment everything changed. I should’ve known, but I was to lost in her. Like I will always be. She calls me the devil, but it’s her devil ways that have me hooked. I’ve never gone back to a woman, never wanted them again after things have ended. But the moment I saw her, I knew I had to have her.

  I throw her legs over my shoulders, lift her up so she’s in the shape of a U and she clings to me. My hands holding her, I pull her up and slam her back down as she screams out in pleasure. I do it again this time harder and faster, wearing both of us out. I fuck her into what I hope will be submission, but I should’ve known better. Known she was not who she said she was. Should have learned more about her. I watch as she comes undone while I’m in her, watch as her head drops back in pure pleasure, and all I can do is be hypnotized by her sheer beauty.

  I drop her back onto the bed knowing I’m missing a meeting I should be attending right now and hoping Aria has that covered for me. I lay next to her and watch, as she passes out without a smile on her face.

  My phone rings, it’s what wakes me from after my afternoon with Bexley. When I wake, she isn’t there. I grab the phone and see Aria’s name and answer it.

  “Please tell me you got laid and you’re no longer a Debbie Downer,” she whines into the phone.

  “What do you want, Aria,” I say scratching at my face and waking up.

  “Meeting went well. I’m going out tonight. See you at home when I get there,” she says and hangs up. Shit, I forgot to ask how it went. This is what she’s doing to me. This is why we can’t possibly work.

  I stand naked from my bed and walk out to the living room of my suite. I’m surprised when I don’t see Bexley. She’s gone. Her clothes are gone, her shoes are gone, everything is gone. I guess she didn’t want to say goodbye, just wanted a revenge fuck.

  Love is a game that two play and both win.

  ~Eva Gabor~

  As soon as he was asleep, I was out of there. I didn’t need to stay any longer. It was a mistake to go there in the first place. I shouldn’t have gone, I should have been stronger and walked in the other direction the minute I saw him. Nothing good will come out of being with him. We’re from two entirely different worlds, and I don’t see how they can combine. Unfortunately, I learned this the hard way.

  I go straight to the office. I’ve been back at work since I returned, my father requesting so. Tragger is there when I walk in. He looks at me and shakes his head, telling me it’s not a good time to see him. I sit at my desk and do the required paperwork for the day, and get lost in it. By the time my phone starts ringing I notice the time, and two hours have passed since I left Zeke. His voice messages demanding to see me, his texts. I ignore them all.

  I watch as my father walks out of his office, pinpointing me and walking straight in my direction. The man he is with, he dismisses like a fly. He stops when he gets to me shaking his head in disappointment. “We need to talk, Bexley.”

  I nod my head knowing it was coming, Tragger tells my father everything. Another reason our relationship never worked.

  By the time I have finished talking to my father, I’m exhausted and just need to sleep, today has been too long. But when I pull up at my home, Zeke is there waiting for me. Dressed in all black and looking deadly. He stands taller when he sees me, stalks straight to me and grabs my chin and lifts it up. So I’m in his face.

  “Did I say you could leave when I was sleeping?” he asks, sounding more than a little angry with me. I shake my head no, and break away from his grip.

  “I want you to come back,” he says leaning into me now. “I’m leaving tonight, I want you to go with me,” he says. I know it’s something I have to do, but will it destroy me?

  “Okay,” I reply giving in, just not for the reasons he’s thinking. Others. His face changes, not believing I would give in so easily.

  “Just like that?” he says, sounding surprised.

  “Just like that,” I repeat to him. He nods his head and follows me up to my apartment, I grab what I need and pack it in a bag. It’s not enough, but it will do. He grabs a photo on my nightstand and smashes it in front of me. It’s of me and Tragger. Tragger is kissing my cheek at our engagement party.

  “Was that necessary?” I ask him looking to the ground where my smashed photo is littering the floor. He nods his head and grabs my bag as he walks past me wanting me to follow, so I do.

  As soon as we arrive at his house, I crawl into bed and fall asleep. I remember Zeke coming in barely and pulling me to him. Then when he realized I was still dressed he undressed me in my sleepy haze.

  The next morning when I wake up, I’m alone in bed. I get up and walk to the kitchen to make coffee, and I realize I’m only dressed in my shirt and boy shorts. I don’t care, though, I need something to wake me up, and coffee does the trick. I hear him before he enters; he’s on his phone and is walking my way. He stops talking when he sees me, I don’t turn around.

  “I could fuck you right now,” he says his voice husky and right next to my ear.

  “Why don’t you,” I answer back, egging him on.

  “I have clubhouse business,” he says moaning into my ear, pressing himself into me showing me how bad he wants me.

  “Let me come,” I ask. His face looks like he’s trying to work out why I would ask such a thing. It’s not something I’d typically request, and he knows this.

  “There isn’t much for you to do there, Bexley. Why would you want to come?”

  “Just want to see where you go. What you do.”

  “Do you want to know why I go there, Bexley?” he asks me his voice darker.

  “Yes.”

  “It’s my clubhouse, Bexley, I am the president.”

  “Are you joking?” I ask him.

  “No, Bexley.”

  “But you don’t even ride a motorcycle,” I say not remembering ever seeing one.

  “I do, actually I’m going to take you on the back of it,” he says not referring to the ride at all.

  “What if I don’t want to go on the back,” I say playing dumb.

  “I’ll let you ride me on the front,” he says stepping closer. My heart beats heavily against my chest, and my nipples go hard. His phone rings again, and my heart rate slows down, knowing he’ll need to answer it. He steps back and looks down at me and pinches my nipple. “Get dressed in jeans,” he says while he responds and walks away.

  His bike is enormous and sexy, it fits him perfectly. The ride to the clubhouse was smooth and fast. My hands wrapped tightly around his waist. When we arrive, I instantly see Dunk and he smiles at me like he knows something I don’t. I take the helmet off and pass it to Zeke, he places them on the bike and grabs my hand and pulls me to an old garage. There are at least twenty men inside, a pool table, bar, and a Harley on display. It’s everything a clubhouse should be. They all scream for him when he enters and so do all the club girls. The skanks are dressed in nothing but lingerie. Some give me evil looks, some are too high to care who the fuck I am. A few men want to know who I am, and why I’m here. Zeke gives them a look that tells them to shut up or else. He kisses my cheek and calls the boys in for church. He leaves me at the bar with a prospect, telling him to keep me company and make sure I receive whatever I want. The kid is young, wearing his cut as a badge of honor. His cut isn’t like the rest, the club logo is on it, but he isn’t a full member.

  “What can I get ya?” he asks me. I ask for a coffee and when he returns he starts asking me questions.

  “You Prez’s Old Lady?” he asks, leaning over the bar an checking me out.

>   “You could say that,” I say. His eyes drop to my breasts and I click my fingers in front of his face, bringing his attention back to my eyes.

  “What is it that you do?” I ask him.

  “Whatever Dunk wants, kill or runs, anything really.” He thinks he’s being tough saying these things to me. What an idiot!

  “You actually killed anyone before, kid?” I ask him, thinking he’s joking, trying to impress. He nods his head.

  “Yep, straight in the back. Shot him once and he dropped,” he says.

  “Where’s the body?” I ask him, acting like I don’t believe a word he’s saying while rolling my eyes.

  “In Sunset Lake,” he says proudly. Again, what an idiot!

  “Billy, what are you talking about?” Dunk asks from the side of the bar. I didn’t see him there, and neither did Billy. Dunk looks at me, really looks at me. His eyes assessing me. “What is it that you do for work, Bexley?” he asks sitting next to me, I straighten my back up and look at him.

  “I didn’t tell you, why would I?” I retort, one side of his lips quirks up. He’s deadly, I can tell.

  “Because you’re fucking my brother. These are things whores need to tell me.”

  Oh no, he didn’t…I can feel my face turning different shades of red. He sits there smiling now while watching my reaction. My arm responds on its own and I slap him so hard he nearly falls off the stool not expecting it. He finally rights himself and gets in my face, ready to hit me back. I prepare myself for it and go into a stance to protect my face. Just before he does, I’m whipped backward.

  “What the fuck are you doing?” Zeke yells from behind me, holding Dunk’s arm just outside of his hitting distance.

  “You don’t really know who she is, do you, brother?” Dunk asks, his evil eyes trained on me, accusing me.

  “Of course, I do,” he says pulling me behind him now. He’s only inches away from Dunk and they’re face to face.

  “She was asking questions, not the type of questions an Old Lady would ask. I don’t trust her,” he says looking over his shoulder at me. Zeke does too, with a wondering look in his eyes before he turns back to Dunk.

  “I’ll only say this once. If you ever touch a hair on her head, I will end you.” He then grabs my hand and takes me away from the situation. Everyone's eyes are on us as we leave. Well, mainly me, giving me worse stares now than when I first arrived.

  To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.

  ~David Viscott~

  She has secrets, deadly secrets, yet here I am being a fool. I know who she is now, know what she does. The tables have turned and now I’m the fool, a fool that’s in love. Fuck! Why did she creep her way into my black heart? Why did I let her? Knowing now she’ll be the one to destroy me. She will, it will be her. She will fuck me over, and maybe I deserve it for treating her love the way I have. But I am a man, and a man doesn’t go down without a fight, and a fight is what will happen.

  “What are you thinking, Bexley?” I ask as we enter the house, she stops walking and turns around to look at me. “Do you love me, Bexley Annerley?” I say using her full her name. She smirks at me, a hidden smile I didn’t know she had.

  “Maybe,” she replies.

  “Are you crazy, mind-blowing in love with me?” I ask stepping closer.

  “Possibly,” she says.

  “Would you do anything for me, Bexley?”

  Her lips twitch as she contemplates my question. “Perhaps,” she answers.

  Smart girl.

  “What would you say if I told you I loved you, Bexley?”

  She stops breathing, not expecting those words out of my mouth. Her hands fly to her mouth and she looks at me with eyes wide.

  “I would…I would say, why…why now?” she answers stuttering.

  “Somehow you’ve worked your way in,” I tell her, still not admitting those words, but to her it looks like I have.

  “I have to go,” she says grabbing her bag from the counter and running out the door. I don’t stop her because I know where she’s going. She’s going to talk to Ember. I sit there, contemplating everything when the front door slams shut.

  “Is she here?” Dunk’s voice booms through to my office. I yell back to him, “No,” and he walks in. He shakes his head in disappointment when he sits down.

  “I don’t trust her,” he says, the first thing out of his mouth.

  “It’s not up to you to trust her,” I tell him.

  “She was asking questions that she shouldn’t have been. Women don’t ask those types of questions. I don’t trust her,” he says flopping down onto the chair with an extravagant sigh.

  “I know who she is, Dunk, I wouldn’t be around her otherwise.”

  “You got feelings for this chick don’t you?” he says raising his eyebrows in question.

  “Again, none of your fucking business,” I tell him pinning him with a death stare.

  “She will destroy you,” he says standing.

  “I don’t doubt she won’t,” I tell him smiling.

  “Fucking stupid man,” he says shaking his head on his way out.

  ****

  She arrives home a few hours after she left, quiet when she sees me. Walking to me, she sits on my lap. I grab her hips and dig my fingers in, knowing I will more than likely bruise her. She slides herself over my cock and looks at me with a smile.

  “You were engaged to be married before?” I ask her. Her head goes to the side contemplating how to answer.

  “Yes.”

  “Did you love him?”

  She pulls a face. “No.”

  “Why then?”

  “Because he’s one of my best friends. I’ve been friends with him my whole life, and it was expected,” she says leaning into me, laying her head on my shoulder while she’s still straddling me.

  “You’re mine now, Bexley,” I say to her hugging her tight. “The only way that will change is if we’re dead.” She stops breathing for a second, taking in my words. I kiss the top of her head and pick her up. She clings to me with her legs still wrapped around my waist.

  We move to the bedroom and I place her on the bed. She lets go of me reluctantly.

  “You know, Bexley, I had a rule. But for you, I broke that one rule. So if you do anything to fuck that up, I will hurt those you love,” I tell her leaning down, my voice low with meaning. Her eyes go wide, but she nods her head.

  “I have issues, Bexley, and the way I sort those issues isn’t healthy. I kill people who betray me and I torture those who lie to me. You wouldn’t do either, would you, Bexley?” My nose scrapes along her neck; so I can hear each breath she takes. Her breathing is fast, telling me she’s going to lie.

  “No,” she says, lying. I grab her roughly by the hair and pull her head back. Her eyes go alarmingly wide like she’s about to get caught out for something.

  “Don’t fucking lie,” I seethe. She tries shaking her head, but she can’t because my grip is too damn tight.

  “You will suck my cock for lying, Bexley, but don’t think it’s a punishment considering you love it.” She nods her head and I point with my free hand for her to undo my pants. She does, on shaky hands my pants drop to the floor, and I climb out of them. Her warm hands touch me, making my already hard cock like rock. She licks the top first, tasting and then licks from top to bottom, making me groan with want.

  The more one judges, the less one loves.

  ~Honore de Balzac~

  He knows! I know he knows, I can see it in his eyes. But I won’t admit it; I won’t until the time is right. I have to play the game, make him believe. It isn’t hard, though, I love him despite everything. I have just come to my senses that maybe, just maybe, love isn’t enough anymore. There’s a line to be drawn and I intend to draw that line and hold onto it. Hold myself back from more heartache. He almost said it, almost said those words I used to crave to hear. Would have done anything to hear. But is it too late now? Can I accept him back fully after he�
��s hurt me so bad? I don’t know the answers to these questions anymore and I don’t know what to do. I know the right thing to do, but is it right for me?

  An hour after Zeke has left for the day, there’s a knock on the door. I don’t know who it is or even why they’re here. No one comes here and knocks, they know when Zeke is here and that’s the only time they’re allowed here at his home. He’s very guarded, only letting certain people into his life. Now I partially understand why.

  When I open the door, it’s someone I least expected to see. Jagger smiles brightly showcasing his beautiful white teeth.

  “Hi,” I manage to say to him. He looks me over and winks when he notices I’ve caught him.

  “Zeke home?” he asks looking behind me. I shake my head, and he reaches in and grabs my hand. I try to pull it back, but he turns around and smiles a sneaky smile. We get to his car, well probably Aria’s car and he opens the door for me. I stand there contemplating and wondering what he’s up to.

  “Where are you taking me?” I ask, still standing at the door.

  “Aria told me you were back, and I wanted to have some fun while I’m on holiday. Who’d be more perfect to spend some time with than a beautiful woman such as you,” he says waving for me to get in. I do and he closes the door behind me and walks around to the driver’s side.

  “Where are we going?” I ask him buckling up, he smiles at me and places his sunnies over his eyes and drives off.

  “I thought we could act like tourists for the day,” he says smiling.

  Our first stop is in Hollywood. He takes me to the wax museum and we walk around making trivial conversation while taking silly photos with the stars. Once we’re finished, he drives for a while with not much conversation while we eat in the car. I like him; he’s easy to be around. Steady and not over the top. He tells me what he’s thinking, not guarded like Zeke.