The Pawnbroker's Niece
Page 18
She was snappy with Rita and muttered about getting the bailiffs out to the yard if Will, Jimmy or Alice did not show their faces soon. Then the padre called Sunday afternoon and told them that Billy was home and asked for a private word with Margaret. She suggested her niece get some fresh air.
Rita decided to go up to the yard, curious to see what was going on there. She had no idea if Ellen was still staying with Alice or had left Liverpool with Sandy and the travelling theatre.
The first person she saw was Jimmy over by the stables and, realising she could hardly ignore him, went over to him. ‘How are things?’
‘What are you doing here?’ His blue eyes were as cold as ice. ‘Your aunt sent you for money, has she?’
‘No! But now you’ve brought it up there’s been mention of the bailiffs.’ She paused. ‘Is Ellen still here?’
‘Not Ellen, nor Alice! That bloody dance!’ His expression was ugly. He threw a blanket over a horse and led it inside the stable.
Curious, she followed him. ‘What’s happened? Have they both gone off with the travelling theatre?’
‘Alice has only bloody run off to America! Probably gone after that bloody Yank!’
Rita was amazed. ‘Honest?’
‘You think I’d lie about something so bloody serious?’
‘But you and Alice were so close.’
‘That’s what I thought. But it didn’t stop her running off without even a proper goodbye.’ His voice cracked. ‘She left a letter for Pops, and he’s not even related to her. I’m her brother!’
Rita felt genuinely sorry for him. ‘What about Ellen? Didn’t she know Billy was due home?’
‘He’s upset about Ellen, of course. But he had the bloody nerve to say that he thought it was a good thing Alice getting away from me. Can you believe that?’
She was silent.
He glared at her and seized her by the shoulders. ‘Answer me! What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?’
‘Let go of me!’ She tried to wrench herself free but his fingers dug into her shoulders.
‘He’s always been jealous of Alice and me being close. We’ve never been separated! I can’t understand how she could do this to me.’
‘That’s nothing to do with me, Jimmy. Will you please let me go?’
‘No!’ His hands slid down her arms and about her waist. He rammed her against him so hard she felt that she could not breathe. She struggled. ‘You’re hurting me,’ she gasped. ‘Will you let me go?’
‘You’ve changed your tune. Not so long ago you would have been glad to have me holding you like this.’
‘That was before I found out that you were a thief and a liar!’ She flung the words at him. ‘Now let me go!’
‘I don’t like being called a thief and a liar.’ Before she could realise what he was about his mouth came down over hers, pressing her lips against her teeth in a way that hurt and almost stopped her breath. There was something so cruel about the act that it frightened her. She managed to free her arm and elbowed him in the stomach, but except for a slight intake of breath it seemed to make little impression on him. He carried on kissing her, forcing his tongue into her mouth in such a way that she baulked, thinking she would choke.
He lifted his head. ‘What’s wrong? This is what you want, isn’t it?’ His voice was silky soft.
‘No, it isn’t! Don’t you be taking your anger out on me, Jimmy Martin!’ Her tongue probed her mouth where she could taste blood.
‘Why shouldn’t I? You brought Ellen here and if it wasn’t for her there would have been no dance and Alice would never have met that Yank.’
‘She would have met someone else sooner or later. You can’t hang on to people when they want to be free. You want her to be happy, don’t you?’
‘Of course I do,’ he said fiercely. ‘But I want her here and happy. It helped having her look up to me.’
‘You’ll find someone else.’
‘I want her, but if I can’t have her then I’ll have you. I bet you’re no little Miss Innocent.’ His look was calculating. ‘I saw you dancing with all those sailors and I remember where and when it was that we first met.’ He lifted her off her feet.
He startled a scream out of her. ‘What are you doing?’
‘Doing what I should have done ages ago. All those Sunday afternoons wasted listening to a band playing or walking along the landing stage when we could have been doing this!’ He flung her on a heap of straw and dropped on her. She gasped for air and tried to scream but no sound came. He raised his body and she tried to slide from under him but he gripped her with his thighs and forced up her skirts.
Hazy memories of her mother being with men filled her thoughts and she pushed at Jimmy with both hands but could not budge him. ‘No, no, no! You can’t go there!’ She was terrified as he pulled down her drawers. His breath was coming fast, like a locomotive getting up steam. She had dreamt of a wedding first…church and a long white dress…flowers…and there was something else trying to get into her mind…being loved and cherished. Where was the love in this? She screamed.
‘For God’s sake, Rita, what are you making that noise for? This is what you’ve been dying for,’ he muttered. She managed to scream again, to struggle madly to escape as he raised himself again and fumbled with his flies. ‘I’ll marry you! We can live here. Your aunt’ll cancel the debt and I’ll…we’ll…be happy.’ He was poking at her as he talked, trying to get inside her.
‘Let me go, let me go, let me go!’ she shrieked.
‘What’s going on here?’
Thank God! Rita did not recognise the voice at first. Then she caught sight of Billy. He seized hold of Jimmy by the back of his collar and pulled. Rita discovered a reserve of strength and managed to bring up her knee and ram it into Jimmy’s groin. He groaned as he was dragged away from her, along the floor through straw and muck, his braces dangling, trousers about his ankles.
Rita knelt up, aware of a deep shame because Billy had found her in such a position. She watched as he heaved Jimmy upright and with a hand to the small of his back sent him flying to the other side of the stable. She felt sick but forced the vomit down. The mother of all pains was throbbing between her legs. She pulled up her drawers and, dragging her coat close about her, she stumbled outside and headed towards the Judas gate.
*
‘You bloody selfish git! What the hell d’you think you were doing?’ Billy picked Jimmy up and rammed him against the side of a stall.
‘Let me go! You’re tearing me shirt. She wanted it, I’m telling you. She loves me!’
‘She was bloody screaming! She’s only a kid!’
‘You haven’t seen her lately,’ gasped Jimmy. The metal toecap of his boot found Billy’s knee; he grunted with pain and punched Jimmy in the stomach. The horse shifted restlessly in the stall and whinnied. ‘You’re upsetting the horse,’ cried Jimmy.
‘You and your bloody horses! You care more for them than people,’ said Billy wrathfully, stepping back and rubbing his knee. He looked round for Rita but she was not there. ‘You’ve bloody frightened the life out of her now!’
‘I didn’t start off meaning to frighten her,’ said Jimmy sullenly, pulling up trousers and buttoning his flies. He went to the horse’s head.
Disgusted with him, Billy made for the door, only to find William standing there. ‘So you’re back,’ said the older man.
‘I believe you’ve been away, too,’ said Billy, ‘but I haven’t got time right now to ask questions.’ He made to brush past William but he stayed him with a hand.
‘What’s been going on here? I’ve just seen young Rita running out of the yard as if all the hounds of hell were after her. What have you done to upset her?’
The breath hissed between Billy’s teeth. ‘It would have to be me, wouldn’t it? Always me that’s to blame! Well, again you’ve got it wrong!’
‘OK! I deserve that,’ said William, pushing his trilby to the back of his head. ‘I haven
’t always treated you fairly.’
Billy was so taken aback by those words that he was rendered speechless. Then Jimmy surprised them both by saying out of the blue, ‘I’m going to marry Rita.’
Billy looked at him as if he had run mad. ‘She’s not going to want to marry you, you bloody fool! You need to learn how to treat women.’
‘She might have to,’ said Jimmy, swaggering over to them.
Billy raised his fist. William gripped his shoulder and leant on it. ‘What the bloody hell have you done, Jimmy?’ he said hoarsely. ‘Haven’t you caused enough trouble? You frightened Ellen away and even your sister’s had enough of you. Rita’s only a kid, and have you forgotten whose niece she is?’
‘That’s why I want to marry her.’ There was a fatuous smile on Jimmy’s handsome face. ‘If we’re family her aunt won’t get the bailiffs in.’
Billy’s expression was grim. ‘You’re a bloody fool! And what’s this about frightening Ellen? You told me she was fed up of waiting for me and had gone off with her brother.’
William said brusquely, ‘She’s not with her brother. I traced him to Rhyl and he told me that she planned to go to America with Alice to try and break into the music scene there.’
‘That’s a red herring,’ said Jimmy, his face white. ‘Chasing Yankee sailors — that’s what they’re about!’ He smashed his fist into the wooden wall a few inches from William’s head. Then, nursing his hand, he stalked out of the stables.
Billy went to go after him but William held his arm. ‘Let him go! Come into the house. I need to talk to you.’
‘I think you’ve got the wrong son,’ said Billy, finding it difficult to accept the change in his father’s attitude towards him. ‘It’s your stepson who’s always been your favourite.’
‘That’s what I need to talk to you about.’ William looked him straight in the eye. ‘You’re not my son.’
*
Rita did not stop running until she reached St Luke’s. Her heart was thumping so heavily she felt dizzy and had to sit down. She slipped inside the church grounds and, finding a secluded bench, sank onto it and with trembling fingers fastened her coat.
She knew what people called girls who went with men before marriage. Spoilt goods! She didn’t want her life to imitate her mother’s. Jimmy had been horrible. She stuffed her fist into her mouth and bit on her knuckles. Tears rolled down her cheeks unchecked. What if Jimmy had given her a baby? Oh God! Aunt Margaret would say she was just like Eve and throw her out and what would happen to her then? And what were Billy’s thoughts right now? It had been such a relief and so good to see him. He had behaved like a knight in shining armour rescuing her from a wicked dragon. She was a damsel in distress but could see no happy ending in store for her with him. He loved Ellen and had behaved like the big brother Rita had never had.
She sat there, with thoughts bouncing around in her head, but eventually the damp got to her and she rose and went out onto Berry Street, feeling a little calmer. She might not have a baby and everything could go on as before, although she would have nothing to do with Jimmy. Right now her everyday routine seemed extremely appealing so she hurried home, cold, hungry and desperate for hot sweet tea.
As Rita stood outside the side door she remembered the padre’s visit and wondered what he had wanted. If only her aunt had not insisted on her going out she would not have gone to the yard and would be feeling so different right now. She rat-tatted on the door knocker and waited, shivering on the step.
Margaret opened the door and her expression was as austere as that first evening they had come face-to-face almost on the same spot. ‘And where have you been all this time, miss?’
‘I-I’m sorry.’ Rita pushed past her and almost ran up the lobby.
Margaret hurried after her. ‘Where are your manners? You don’t push me aside like that and you haven’t answered my question.’
Rita dived into the scullery where she filled a bowl with hot water and, taking a towel, went to her bedroom.
‘I don’t believe this,’ said Margaret, following her upstairs. She stood in the doorway, arms folded, watching her take off her coat. ‘What is it? Why this sudden need to wash?’
‘Please, Aunt Margaret, could you give me some privacy?’ pleaded Rita.
Margaret took a deep breath. ‘All right! But I want to know where you’ve been. Something’s wrong.’
Too right something was wrong, thought Rita, closing the door and proceeding to strip and wash herself several times underneath before dressing in warmer clothes. She felt so cold.
Downstairs she found the table set for tea. ‘So what’s wrong?’ asked Margaret, removing the cosy from the teapot.
Rita watched her aunt pour tea. She seized a cup and raised it to her lips. Her teeth chattered against the rim.
‘You are in a state,’ said Margaret, frowning. ‘Am I such an ogress that you can’t tell me what’s wrong?’
‘A-Alice has r-run away with an-an American s-s-sailor. Ellen’s gone too.’
She could not have surprised Margaret more than if she had said the moon really was made of cream cheese. ‘Good God! How has Will taken that? And how’s Jimmy feeling? Now that is a shock; it must be the reason why we haven’t seen anything of them. Has Will gone after her?’
‘I-I didn’t see Mr Brodie but-but Jimmy’s very upset.’ Her cheeks burned as she relived those moments in the stable. Dear God! She hated violence.
‘I’m surprised it’s upset you so much.’
‘Well, it has.’ Rita drank the tea and felt better for it.
‘Did you see anything of Billy?’
‘Not to talk to.’ Rita did not want to think about him. It hurt. What must he think of her?
Margaret topped up her niece’s cup. ‘I can’t understand why Ellen left if she knew Billy was due back in Liverpool.’
Rita wished her aunt would shut up about Billy.
‘Eat something,’ ordered Margaret, placing a slice of coffee and walnut cake on her plate. ‘You still look pale. I wonder how Alice will get to America. I can’t see her having a passport, and what about money?’
‘Perhaps the American sailor smuggled her aboard his ship. I read in the Echo about some kids stowing away.’ Rita looked at the cake with distaste. Her appetite had completely deserted her.
‘Will would know about such things,’ murmured Margaret, recalling waving him off at Birkenhead docks on the other side of the Mersey. ‘And perhaps the padre could help by getting in touch with his opposite number in America. The trouble is that it’s such a big country.’
Rita remembered the padre had been here. ‘What did he want? Anything you can tell me or is it private?’
‘He’s got himself engaged to your former teacher. Isn’t that good news?’ Margaret’s smile was forced. She had felt so jealous when he had broken the news. She envied Sarah finding love and a husband at her age. She thought of those moments on the dance floor with William and longed to forgive and forget, to be able to love unconditionally.
‘It’s great!’ Rita was delighted.
‘She’d like you to be a bridesmaid.’
‘Me!’ Rita was flabbergasted.
‘She’s got no family and has a soft spot for you,’ said Margaret with a wry smile.
‘We did get to know each other better when she gave me those elocution lessons.’ Rita felt really flattered.
Margaret sighed. ‘Let’s put that aside. About Alice — she wouldn’t be the first person to want to leave her old life behind and build a new one in another country.’
Rita thought her aunt probably had something there but did not want to discuss Alice. She switched on the wireless and the distinctive dance music of Ambrose and his orchestra flooded out. She took one look at her aunt’s face and switched it off.
That night Rita had nightmares and was relieved when morning came. She hoped that by keeping busy she could forget what had happened in the stables; but she was still sore underneath and that served as a
constant reminder.
Billy came into the shop just after eleven during a lull in the stream of customers hocking their Sunday best. She felt so embarrassed she wanted to bolt into the storeroom and shut the door. Instead she had to stand her ground because Margaret was elsewhere. She avoided looking him straight in the eye. ‘What can I do for you?’
He placed a package on the counter. Relieved that he was here on business, she reached for the scissors and snipped the string. Wrapped inside the brown paper was a gold and red lacquered bird. Her sore spirit was enchanted. ‘It’s beautiful,’ she said in a low voice. ‘You have a real knack for finding the right things.’
‘It’s a phoenix. The Chinese believe they bring good luck. The myth is that they rise out of the ashes when something’s been destroyed. I want you to have it, Rita, to help you remember you can put the past behind you and start over again.’
She stilled, aware of the quickened beat of her heart. Tears filled her eyes so that she saw him through a blur. ‘I didn’t mean to lead him on.’
‘I don’t believe you did. Here, don’t cry!’ Billy took a handkerchief from his breast pocket and wiped her eyes. ‘It was Jimmy’s fault. He seems to have flipped his lid. P-Pops says he’s been acting strange for a while. He was jealous of the friendship between the girls; then he made a play for Ellen, got a bit rough. That’s probably the reason for them both disappearing, without a word to him. It was the last straw. So don’t be thinking you’re in any way to blame for what happened back at the stable.’ He stroked the back of her hand with a work-roughened thumb.
She was so relieved; a rush of warmth enveloped her. ‘You’re so kind.’
‘Why shouldn’t I be? You’re a nice girl.’
She wanted him to think her more than nice. ‘So are things all right up at the yard now?’
‘P-Pops is trying to sort things out with Jimmy. Then he’ll have another go at finding the girls. They mightn’t have left the country yet.’