by Calista Skye
He stood up from his morgelo leather chair and paced around the small viewing room. He studied the recording again. How could he convince her to follow her instincts without giving away the game? The technical skills needed to fly in the Storm Squadron could be learned, but he couldn’t teach her to trust herself.
It didn’t make sense. Kira had always acted so confident. From the moment he met her, he’d admired her directness. Her unflinching spirit. She’d kept her wits about her in dire circumstances.
When they first met, she and her friend had just been boarded and taken prisoner aboard the Vendetta. Abducted by a bloodthirsty band of space pirates—a misconception that amused him a great deal—but she kept her cool and befriended the crew. It was her attitude and her spirit that drew him to her in the first place. Ja’al appreciated her sense of ease and her confidence in herself. He admired her for it.
But since she’d started the Battery, she had lost her sense of certainty. Kira, the boldest woman he’d ever known, the woman who could never be thrown off course, was struggling with something he didn’t understand.
Ja’al wanted to see her succeed. He wanted her under his command. A part of the Storm Squadron. The Rebellion faced long odds. Taking down the Empire required unshakable faith; the kind that Kira inspired. Ja’al needed to be around her. Having her in Storm was the perfect excuse to spend more time with her.
A buzz at the door interrupted his thoughts. Kira was here for her debriefing—his last chance to figure out what was going on before the Assignment Ceremony. There was no room for error in the Storm Squadron.
Ja’al switched off the video feed and buzzed her in.
“You wanted to see me?” she said as she stepped into the room.
Ja’al studied her face. She looked so comfortable in her jumpsuit, the lightweight fabric hugging the curves of her breasts and reflecting the light in a way that drew his eyes.
But he had to banish the thought. No matter how sexy she looked, it wouldn’t be appropriate for them to be together. Not if he was going to be her commanding officer. Aside from the accusations of favoritism, allowing himself to get attached would create a distraction. A weakness he couldn’t afford. Falling for her might compromise his judgment.
The warring needs within him, to be near her, yet maintain his emotional distance, were a torturous line to walk.
“Come in, Kira,” he said. “Have a seat.” He gestured to the chair across the desk from where he sat. He hoped it would seem a little less formal than a typical debriefing. Hopefully, she would feel comfortable enough to tell him what was going on. He could only help her if she was honest with him.
Kira smiled at him and lowered herself into the chair. “What’s up?” she asked. “I didn’t think we’d be speaking until after the Assignment Ceremony.”
Ja’al nodded, forming the words in his mind. He didn’t want to shake her confidence further by prying. “Normally, you’d be right,” he said. “But I thought it was important we speak first.”
“It’s about the Battery, isn’t it? My debacle on the flight sim …”
“Kira … I don’t understand what happened out there. You had your orders. You hesitated. Why?”
She shifted in her seat, her fingers kneading at her thighs. “I followed my orders to the letter. I just didn’t time it right. I messed up the maneuver, but I’ll do better next time. I just need a little more training in the JRV’s.”
It wasn’t like her to be evasive. He needed her to open up. “If you’re accepted into the Storm Squadron, you’ll get all the training you need, and more. I’m not concerned about that. What concerns me, Kira, is your hesitation.”
“What do you mean, Commander?”
He hated it when she used his formal title. It sounded so impersonal, coming from someone he cared about. Someone he wanted to bend over his desk and … he pushed that thought aside. Controlling his feelings for her would be harder than he thought. But if he was going to be her CO, it was for the best.
“I’ve watched the replay of your flight several times. There was a moment, when you were flying over the surface of the destroyer, that you didn’t take your shot. You froze out there in the black for way too long. By the time you fired, it was too late. What happened?”
Kira looked away for a long moment. “I thought I saw something out there. Something that wasn’t on our plans. A weakness in the destroyer’s antimatter propulsion system.”
Ja’al nodded. “I see. And yet, you didn’t fire on it. Why not?”
“I was just following orders.”
“Kira …” he said. “Let me tell you about the Storm Squadron. It’s a crew of our best pilots. Do you know what makes them the best? It’s not their ability to perform aerial stunts. Any pilot can master tricks like that with enough training and enough practice.”
He saw her face grow tight. She looked like she was about to argue with him, but she held it inside her.
“Storm Squadron pilots are selected because they have something that can’t be taught, Kira. I need people who are confident enough to trust their instincts.”
Kira leaned in to the desk, revealing the line of her perfect cleavage as her hair fell in front of her face. She looked stunning in the dim light of the room. She looked at Ja’al, her eyes large and certain, as she pulled a wisp of hair behind her. “I’m not sure you want me acting on my instincts. Commander.”
Ja’al held her gaze. He felt the pants of his uniform growing tight; he was grateful for the cover of the desk between them. She didn’t need to know how tempted he was to give in to his feelings towards her.
“Storm Squadron pilots live and die by their intuition. I nominated you for this assignment because you’ve always had such a strong sense of yourself. You see opportunities and you take them. You’ve never been afraid to trust yourself and your intuition.”
“Sometimes my intuition gets me into trouble,” she said.
“That’s never bothered you before,” he said. “I need you on my team, Kira.” I need to be close to you.
Kira leaned back and looked away. “Seems like you’ve got plenty of other volunteers. That new girl seemed pretty eager to spend time with you. I saw her undressing you with her eyes.”
“You picked up on that, I see,” he said, shaking his head. “But those are the instincts I’m talking about.” Ja’al stood and walked over to the wall panel, pulling up the profiles of the new recruits. “You’ve always been good at reading situations, Kira. You’re good at figuring people out, knowing what they want. Sometimes even better than they do.”
“Oh, I think what Reina wants is perfectly clear.” Though she tried to hide it, the jealousy ran thick in her voice. It was the first time Ja’al had ever seen her less than perfectly cool and at ease.
“Don’t let her get under your skin, Kira. I’ve known Reina since we were children. But I assure you, there’s nothing between us. The Empire hasn’t been kind to any of us. She’s here for the same reason we are. Reina lets her imagination get carried away. That’s all.”
“You’re kidding yourself,” she said. “I saw the way she looked at you.”
“You’re jealous,” he said. Though he didn’t want to admit it, the thought turned him on a little. “You needn’t be. Fraternizing with a recruit would be inappropriate.”
Kira stood and approached him slowly. Confidently. With the same sense of self-assuredness that she possessed before she started the Battery. That was the woman he had fallen for.
“Jealous? Of course not,” she said. “I have no reason to be. There’s nothing between us.”
Ja’al put his hands on her hips, feeling the soft fabric of her jumpsuit. He fought the urge to press her into the wall behind him and scour her neckline with his lips. If the Storm Squadron pilots lived and died by their instinct, their commander would live and die by his self-control.
“This would be a bad idea,” he said.
She wrapped her arms around his waist and tossed her hair
to the side, exposing the flesh of her neck. “A terrible idea.” She taunted him. Tested his resolve. He had no doubt Kira understood the effect she had on him.
Ja’al imagined what it would be like to taste her skin. Already, his senses were heightened. The blood rushing through his body filled him with a lust that nearly overwhelmed him. It wouldn’t be such a bad thing to kiss her. Just once. To taste the sweetness of her lips. He could indulge. Give in to the temptation of her body.
The chime of an incoming transmission rang through the room as the holocomm vibrated on his desk. He released his grip on Kira and stared at the device.
“You going to answer that?”
Ja’al stared at the holocomm. He was torn. He knew that getting involved with Kira would be a complication that neither of them needed. The holocomm just saved him from making a terrible mistake, but damned if his body didn’t protest the interruption.
Before he could talk himself out of it, he slammed his hand down on the device and answered the transmission. A three-dimensional image of the Raiders’ chief mechanic and principal communications officer, Tyrus, leapt to life in front of them.
“Commander,” he said. “And Cadet Thorne.” He nodded to Kira. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but it’s urgent.”
Ja’al drew a deep breath. “Of course, Lieutenant. What’s the situation?”
“We picked up readings on another Imperial scout fleet flying through Gamma. We don’t know where they’re headed, but they’re stepping up their search efforts out here.”
“Any sign they’ve detected our location?”
“It doesn’t look like it, sir,” said Tyrus. He replaced his image with a readout of the scanners.
Ja’al studied the glowing red dots marking the enemy ships. They weaved a course around the belt, but the lines tracing their path seemed to show them staying away from the belt. As Tyrus had said, their location appeared safe.
“But what’s troubling is their numbers,” he added.
Ja’al nodded. “Yes. They wouldn’t be sending a fleet that large to Gamma unless something was up. Any chatter to suggest they’ve been tipped off?”
“I don’t think so, sir. They’re still on course and they don’t appear to be searching here.”
“But it’s only a matter of time,” Ja’al cursed under his breath, his eyes following Kira as she paced nervously around the edge of the room. His thoughts still wandered to her body. Why couldn’t he have known her before? When the Raiders were little more than an unconventional band of pirates, things were … well, safe wasn’t the right word. But at least the constant threat of annihilation and all out galactic warfare wasn’t looming over them.
“Keep an eye on them and watch for anything out of the ordinary,” he said. “We can’t stay here in Dennegar forever. But if the Kamarans keep scanning Gamma, our timeline might need to be moved up a bit.”
“Of course, sir,” said Tyrus. “I’ll keep you updated.”
Ja’al thumbed the side of his holocomm and the shimmering image of Tyrus vanished, leaving an empty stillness in the air. It was bad news. Unless Lana and Adaar could strike a deal with the Human Systems Alliance, their options for establishing a permanent base were severely limited.
“Maybe it’s nothing,” said Kira. “Maybe our cloaking and encryptions will hold, and they’ll stop looking?”
Ja’al shook his head. “Maybe. But it’s only a matter of time before the Empire ferrets us out. We need to get our defensive forces ready. So training the Storm Squadron is more important than ever. I need people I can trust flying our fighters, Kira. I need pilots I can depend on.”
Kira looked at him, weighing his words. She seemed to understand. “You think I can handle it?” she asked. “Even after what happened in the Battery?”
Ja’al grabbed her arm and held her steady. He ignored the wave of desire that surged through him when he touched her. “Kira Thorne, there are few pilots here that are as capable as you. I want you in my command.”
She held herself steady under his touch, though he could tell she was wrestling with something deep inside her.
“But the choice is yours, Kira. When the Assignment Ceremony takes place tomorrow, you’ll be able to decide for yourself. Despite what happened in the end, your performance during the rest of the test was remarkable. You can do this, Kira. You’ve got potential to be one of the best. And if you choose to join the Storm Squadron, I’ll personally make sure you get all the training you need.”
Kira looked up at him, meeting his gaze. Despite her efforts to control it, her face betrayed her emotions.
She still doubted herself.
And Ja’al knew that nothing he could say would sway her. At least not now. It was a decision she had to make for herself. Just know that if you jump, I’ll catch you, he thought.
He closed his fingers around her arm and leaned his head in to her. “Take tonight to think it over. Tomorrow, you can join me. Or not. The choice is yours.”
He hoped she would make the right one.
Chapter 5
Kira barely slept that night. Her mind tormented her as she tossed and turned. Every time she closed her eyes, her stomach dropped with the memory of her fighter looping around the edge of the destroyer. She saw the opening. Why did she hesitate? She saw what she needed to do. And she played it safe. The decision cost her more than a failed test. It undermined her confidence.
Lying in bed, she mulled over the situation. She realized it wasn’t a full-blown failure. But she didn’t win, either. She let her team down when they needed her. What if she didn’t have what it took to fly for the Storm Squadron? What if she let them all down when it mattered, when the lives of her friends, and the fate of the Rebellion counted on her to make the right decision?
She startled awake in a cold sweat. It still felt strange to wake up in the cabin without Lana across the room from her. She understood, of course. Everything was going to be different now that Lana and Adaar were married.
Kira didn’t mind the solitude, but it would have been nice to talk to someone about the Assignment Ceremony. And about Ja’al. For the first time, she couldn’t read a man’s intentions. He seemed to care about her, to want her even. But he hesitated, too. Was he conflicted because of Reina? Or something else? I guess we all have our demons.
She laid her head back on the mattress and rolled over into her pillow, imagining herself pressed against his body. She pictured the intense gaze of his piercing green eyes, staring into her like he wanted to devour her. That, she was sure of. There was no mistaking that look.
And she would have welcomed it. Every touch of his hands on her skin sent waves of electricity through her as she imagined what it would be like to let herself go.
He wasn’t just a military man. Ja’al possessed a strength and a depth that drew her to him. He spoke little about his past, but she knew he grew up alone on the streets, learning to fend for himself. It gave him the strength of self-reliance. A strength that Kira wanted to give in to, to feel surrounding her, penetrating her. It would be such a relief to let her guard down. To allow herself to relax into his arms, feeling the pleasure of his body as he thrust himself deep inside her.
She stopped herself. Ja’al was her commanding officer. Or at least, he would be if she joined the Storm Squadron. And while there were no strict rules against it, a relationship complicated things.
She wished, for a moment, that she’d never tested for Storm. Life would be so much easier if she stayed in her place. Besides, Kira was an excellent mechanic. She could make a difference there. The growing Rebel fleet could use someone with her experience.
But she couldn’t deny the pull of her desire. And as much as it scared her, Ja’al seemed to think she had what it took.
She didn’t want to let him down. She didn’t want to let herself down.
She had to choose. And she’d run out of time.
***
Kira looked out over the training room. The entire Rebel Army,
save for a small skeleton crew watching over the defense and communication systems, crowded into the room.
Nothing like the added pressure of an audience to help her make an already difficult choice.
Somewhere inside her, she knew that it didn’t matter which path she chose. The flight mechanics would be grateful to have her. She knew them. Or rather, she was comfortable with people who understood mechanical things. People who liked to take things apart and learn how they worked. She’d fit right in, and she’d be grateful for the friends she met there.
Tyrus, the youngest member of the Raider crew, smiled at her as she took her place with the other cadets. He had become a good friend over the past few months. Tyrus had been the Raiders’ head mechanic before assuming his new role as Chief of Systems and Communications. But he still spent most of his spare time down in the pit with the “wrench-heads.” If the rest of the mechanics were anything like him, she’d feel right at home there. And it would give her the opportunity to look after Tanner, Lana’s young brother, while she was away negotiating treaties with Adaar.
Tyrus caught her eye, and nodded to her in anticipation, expecting her to find her place among them. Tyrus could use a friend, too, she thought. No doubt the other wrench-heads gave him more than a fair share of ribbing for being so young.
But Tyrus didn’t need her protection. And that was no reason to choose one career path over another, anyway. This was about her future.
For the first time in her twenty-three years, Kira finally had a choice. The opportunity to choose her own path and her own destiny, instead of blowing around like a dead leaf in the winds of fate.