by Calista Skye
“Nervous?” asked a warm, feminine voice. Kira turned and saw the red-haired woman, Reina, standing next to her.
“Just thinking,” she said. “It’s an important choice.”
Reina shrugged. “I guess,” she said. “But it’s not much of a choice at all, if you ask me. Ja’al only leads one team.”
The hot fire of jealousy burned in her belly, but she kept her face calm and unreadable. They told me playing cards was a waste of time, thought Kira. But her training kicked in just in time to keep her cool. She could handle a little competition if she needed to. But maybe she’d read the situation wrong. She decided to tease out a little more information.
“Storm Squadron’s a tough gig,” said Kira. Let’s see your cards.
“Nothing I can’t handle, though. Once I’ve set my mind on something, nothing stands in my way.”
“I guess that’s the attitude a pilot needs,” she said. “Or any rebel. This isn’t an easy life.”
Whether she liked the woman or not, there was no point in making an enemy of her. If Kira joined Storm, they’d be spending a lot of time together. Maybe she just wanted to reconnect with an old friend.
“No,” said Reina. “But neither was growing up with a father in the Human Systems Alliance Senate. I had to learn how to take care of myself early on. Being a member of the Storm Squadron won’t be easy. But I can handle it.”
It had never occurred to Kira that maybe she was the one out of line. Maybe she had judged Reina too harshly. She still didn’t trust her, but she’d try to give her the benefit of the doubt. Jealousy was a new emotion. Maybe it was throwing her off. She needed more information.
“You know the Commander pretty well, then?” said Kira. Maybe she could learn where they stood. Kira realized she didn’t know this woman well enough to form any conclusions about her.
The truth was that Kira had never felt for anyone the way she felt about Ja’al. And it scared her. Because if she cared about him, if she wanted something more than a brief, physical relationship with the man, she would be vulnerable. The thought terrified her.
And maybe Reina wasn’t a bad person. It would be nice to have a friend to share the trials of the Storm Squadron with. Someone else there in the trenches, going through the same thing. Especially since Lana would be busy with her duties as an interplanetary ambassador.
“I know him as well as anyone,” she said. “But Ja’al was never easy to read. We went through some difficult times back on Kamara. We were … friends … while he was the Prince’s attendant. We studied philosophy, history, strategy. But when they left to form the Gamma Raiders, everything changed. For all of us.”
“I’m sorry, Reina. It’s hard to be left behind.”
Reina smiled and tossed her hair back behind her shoulder. “Ja’al did what he thought was right. Sure, I felt abandoned. But it was the right decision. Look where we are now. Taking steps to change things, to make life better for everyone. This rebellion wouldn’t exist if Ja’al hadn’t chosen that path. I’d say that’s a good reason to leave us.”
“Doesn’t make it any easier, though. You two were … a couple?”
Reina looked Kira in the eyes, searching for something.
“I wasn’t sure what to make of you when we arrived here, Kira. But you seem alright. I think we’ll get along just fine.”
Kira noticed that she didn’t answer her question. But she didn’t want to press. “So you’re going for the Storm Squadron? Have you flown before?”
Reina just smiled. “Not really, no.”
Kira shot her a baffled glance.
“There were sims back on Kamara, though. And not much else for us to kids to do with our free time. Ja’al and I used to have fierce competitions. We both got pretty good. Not that either of us thought we’d ever get the chance to fly for real. It’s funny how things work out. I’ve been training for this my whole life, even if I didn’t know it at the time.”
Kira nodded.
“You’re joining Storm, too, right Kira? Have you flown much?”
“Just my freighter,” she said as she looked away. Who was she kidding? She was delusional to think she had a chance of flying with people like Reina. She was out of her depth. She didn’t have the experience for this. The only time she’d ever done a fighter sim was here, and she’d only been practicing a few weeks at most. Ja’al had taught her a lot during that time, but she didn’t have years of experience. Maybe she’d be better off sticking to what she knew best. Good flight mechanics were important.
Even if that meant she wouldn’t get to spend time with ….
Ja’al entered the room, along with the rest of the squadron leaders. She couldn’t keep her eyes off him. The way the cut of the fabric emphasized his muscular physique, the line of his shoulders and his broad chest stretching the suit firm against him. It was the build of a man who knew how to work, to push himself beyond what he thought was possible.
It was a lesson she’d do well to learn. Not that she didn’t work hard—Kira was no stranger to spending long hours buried beneath the belly of a ship, repairing and upgrading critical systems. She’d designed mods that allowed her freighter, the Endurance, to handle maneuvering through the Dennegar belt.
But that was a far cry from handling a fighter in the heat of combat. The lives of others depended on a pilot’s split-second reactions and the strength of her instincts.
“I don’t know,” she said. “I’m not sure I’m cut out for the Storm Squadron.”
Reina shook her head. “That’s too bad. I guess you have to do what’s right for you, but …” She hesitated, weighing whether to finish. “Don’t sell yourself short, Kira. I saw your test scores. You’ve got good instincts.”
I’m not so sure about that, she thought. My instincts told me not to trust you. And look how wrong I had it.
“Thanks, Reina.”
“And besides, we women need to stick together, right?”
But Kira didn’t have a chance to answer before Captain Adaar stepped out onto the stage. A silence descended over the crowd as they waited for him to speak. He looked majestic in his full dress uniform. And though he wore it naturally, it was obvious to Kira that he would have preferred to be back in the loose-fitting, easy clothes of a pirate.
She chuckled to herself. All the pomp and formality would be better left to someone else. This rebellion had its own flavor. They needed to own it. To be themselves.
“Good morning, everyone,” he said to the cadets lined up in front of him. “This is an important day for all of you. Taking on a force as massive and thoroughly entrenched as the Kamaran Empire is no easy task. It’s going to take all of us, working together. And every part of the machine has to perform optimally, or the whole thing falls apart. Every job is important.”
Kira felt as though he was speaking to her innermost fears. Don’t feel bad about it, Kira. Not everyone is cut out for Storm Squadron. We need mechanics, too. Well, she’d be the best damn mechanic they’d ever had.
“Every one of you has unique talents and gifts, and every one of you will play an important role in toppling the Empire. We want each of you to make the most of your potential.”
Kira closed her eyes. She wasn’t cut out to be a fighter pilot. But she couldn’t give up, either. And Ja’al … there was something growing between them. She was sure of it. It was more than the hungry looks he gave her when he thought wasn’t looking. More than chemistry. A connection born out of respect. And if she chose to be a mechanic, she wouldn’t be seeing him much anymore.
No, dammit. I won’t let it happen. I won’t give him up.
“…And as you all know,” Adaar continued, “the Kamarans haven’t taken the news of our insurgency lightly. Even as our ranks grow, the Empire remains busy securing alliances of their own. Every day we allow their growth to continue unabated, the stronger they become. We don’t have time to waste. We need to strike them before they root us out. And they will, given enough time.”
“But we’ve had to change our plans.”
“We’re not tyrants, nor are we dictators. And we’ve always made the will and desires of our soldiers and crew a top priority. But with the Empire closing in on us, there is no room for error. So instead of allowing our newest cadets to choose their assignments, we’ve made the assignments for you all.”
The murmurs of the crowd echoed from the naked walls of the training room.
“Each of you on this stage,” he said as he turned to face the cadets, “has undergone the Battery. And we’ve collected a thorough picture of your skills and your talents. The commanders have convened to discuss your results. Each of you have been placed in the appropriate position to suit your talents and the needs of our forces.”
Fuck. There was no way she was going to end up in Storm Squadron now. Here, she had been so consumed with her decision that it never occurred to her the decision might be stripped from her. She’d be forced to spend her life repairing and modding ships ….
…And that was something she couldn’t accept. Life as a mechanic wasn’t in the cards for her. Not anymore. I’m a pilot, gods dammit. Bring it on.
Adaar read down the list of names, congratulating each of the small class of candidates on their selection. He told about the honor of being chosen for each of their specialist positions as they were placed into various combat and support roles.
Unsurprisingly, the three large Kamaran men who had arrived with Reina were all selected for the Barrage Battalion, the rebellion’s own brand of special operations marines. When the day of the assault on Kamara finally arrived, Barrage Battalion would lead the charge. Known for their fearless heroism and relentless courage, they would play an integral role in the Rebellion’s success.
As each recruit joined their comrades-in-arms, the room cheered them on. The good feelings and high spirits among the crew were part of the reason she had always felt so welcome here. And she knew that even there among the mechanics, hell especially among the mechanics, she’d be made to feel right at home. Would the Storm Squadron cadets accept her? Her heart pounded in her chest.
Another young man from Yordask was assigned to the Storm Squadron, a small and wiry looking fellow who looked like he’d be more at home in a weapons development lab than behind the controls of a fighter. But Kira wasn’t going to judge his skills based on his appearance. She trusted that the squad leaders knew what they were doing, and each of the assignments they made were well-reasoned.
As Adaar made his way down the line, Reina leaned in to Kira. “What if I don’t make it into Storm?”
“I’m sure you have nothing to worry about. I saw your sim-flight. You’re good.”
Kira found herself empathizing with the poor girl. She understood her anxiety. She clearly couldn’t see her own talent.
“Reina Blackwell,” said Adaar, finally standing before her.
“Sir,” she said.
“Storm Squadron.”
Reina’s eyes lit up as she rushed over to greet the pilots who awaited her in the corner of the training room.
Kira watched as Ja’al embraced her, and the fire of jealousy returned. Oh well. There was nothing she could do about it now. Sometimes things just didn’t work out.
Captain Adaar stepped over to Kira and stood in front of her. A small, private smile crossed his face as he nodded almost imperceptibly. An acknowledgment of the friendship they shared and the role Kira had played in getting this whole rebellion off the ground. Even if she wouldn’t be at the forefront of it, she was grateful for the acknowledgment.
Kira stood in the “at ease” position, with her legs spread and her arms held behind her back. She wanted to return the Captain’s smile, but with the eyes of the room on her, she maintained her composure.
Looking out to the crowd, she saw Tyrus standing with the mechanics, watching her closely. She’d be happy to run over and celebrate with him. Tyrus had become a great friend. She hoped he didn’t let the position of power go to his head. Though, if he did, she could always kick his ass at Traps again to put him back in his place.
“Kira Thorne,” said Adaar.
She swallowed against the dryness of her throat. Nothing to be nervous about. Her fate was sealed when she botched the test flight in the Battery.
“Storm Squadron.”
Kira’s eyes went wide. She must have heard wrong. The applause that filled the room faded into the background of her mind as her thoughts spun. That can’t be right.
Adaar smiled wide. “Congratulations, Kira,” he said, clapping her on the shoulder. “Go to them.”
She saw Ja’al in the distance, beckoning her onward.
Looks like I’m going to be a pilot after all. She hoped she was up to the challenge.
Chapter 6
Ja’al kept his office cold. Too many creature comforts would make him sloppy. He couldn’t afford to get soft. The cool air invigorated him. Challenged his willpower. The small room was sparsely decorated and barely finished. The exposed guts of the ship and cabling hanging from the ceiling reminded him that his work was never finished. It helped to keep his mind on the mission. Besides, there weren’t any trinkets or memories he wanted to keep around. There was no use dwelling on past regrets. He was here to create a better future.
Ja’al sat on the cool steel floor for his morning meditation, trying to clear his mind to prepare on the day ahead. But anxious thoughts assailed him. Reina’s arrival was a complication he didn’t need. Guilt was a useful emotion when it motivated him to action, but soldiers and leaders had no room for rumination or regret. He had to live in the present and create a better future. A future with Kira in it.
And now that Kira was officially part of the Storm Squadron, he’d need to be careful with his emotions. The sight of her sent the blood pumping through his body, filling him with a desire more intense than he knew how to handle. It would be a challenge to keep his passions cool around her.
There were too many stray thoughts in his awareness. Ja’al returned his attention to his breath, but the surge of arousal still pulled at him. This would be more challenging than he thought. He directed his attention to the rise and fall of his chest. Grounding himself in his body helped when his mind ran amok.
The harsh buzz of the comm system rang through the room, pulling him from his trance. The gods were conspiring against his meditation this morning. But letting go of his attachment to the results gave him a chance to practice acceptance. And besides, anyone visiting him this early in the morning must have something urgent to discuss.
Ja’al reached over to the small wooden table and released the door lock. Its hydraulics hissed as the door slid open.
“We need to talk, Ja’al,” said Kira.
That’s never a good way to start a conversation. Ja’al pushed himself up off the floor. He didn’t want to leap to unhelpful conclusions, but the look on her face betrayed concern. “Of course, Kira. Come in.”
She brushed a wisp of hair from her cheekbone and glanced around the room, her eyes resting anywhere but on his face. “You put me in Storm Squadron. After I failed the test. Why?”
“Because it’s where you belong, Kira.”
She sighed and shook her head. “I asked for this. And it’s what I want. But I don’t think I’m ready,” she said. “For Storm Squadron, I mean. I don’t think it’s the right place for me.”
He smiled to ease the tension, but it didn’t seem to help. “Why would you say that?”
“No matter how much experience I get and how many times we drill the maneuvers, I don’t have what it takes to be a fighter. When it all comes down to it, I’m going to let the team down. My instincts aren’t good enough.”
He laid a calloused hand on h
er shoulder and looked into her wide almond eyes. “You’re listening to the voice of fear. You’re imagining situations in the future that may never come to pass. You have control of this moment. And then the next.”
“What if I can’t do it?” she said.
“You’re here because you asked to be here. And I believe in you. No one is ever ready for the challenges life throws at them. But the ones who make a difference have the courage to act in spite of their fear. Somewhere inside yourself, you know you’re qualified. At least when you listen to that part of yourself, you know that you can do it.”
“I should have gone with the mechanics.”
“Is that what you’d prefer?”
She shifted uncomfortably. Ja’al already knew the answer to his question. And he knew that despite her fear, she wouldn’t back away.
“You should have the courage to follow your heart, Kira. It won’t steer you wrong. You’re capable of far more than you give yourself credit for.”
Her shoulders fell as she looked away from him. He knew it would take more than platitudes to convince her. But he didn’t need to win the war, he just needed her to take the next step on the path. One choice at a time. And with every action, she’d prove to herself that she could handle it. Momentum was the key.
“Following my heart is going to get me into trouble, Ja’al. People don’t always get what they want. Assuming otherwise is dangerous when people’s lives hang in the balance. I need to be realistic.”
Ja’al looked at her for a long moment. He wondered what had happened to her that caused her to doubt herself. It was a side of her that she rarely showed. The fact that she allowed Ja’al to see it, that she opened up to him now, meant that she trusted him. And he didn’t take that responsibility lightly. He wouldn’t let her down. “No one said it would be easy, Kira. Nothing worth doing is ever easy. But it’s always worth taking the risk. You don’t want to live your life with regrets.”
She crossed her arms in front of her chest. Ja’al averted his eyes, willing himself to ignore the way it pushed the curves of her breasts together. “I’ve caused enough trouble,” she said. “I should stick to what I’m good at. Why is it so important to you to have me in the Storm Squadron anyway?”