PPP Box Set

by Charmanie Saquea

  “Do we have a problem,” she asked. I looked at Nell and back at her. Nell looked at me then looked at her.

  I said, “Naw, we good.”

  It was a big mistake being left alone with that fool. He started talking about how much he missed me. Tried to pull me in for a hug and kiss me. He was doing way too much.

  He explained about the baby and how he didn’t think it was his. He admitted he did pay Essence to get an abortion but he still didn’t know if the baby was his. “I promise I ain't fucked with her since,” he tried to convince me. He even said he tried to pay, Brandy the new BM but she refused. He still didn’t believe the baby was his so he didn’t tell me. That’s what he said anyway. I had read all that shit on text messages and heard it on the fifty voicemails he left. I really didn’t care either way. I guess he was looking for me to forgive him. I asked him how Dash was. He said he was cool but real fucked up about Diamond getting killed. He said Dash asked about me all the time. I told him to tell him I said hey. He promised me that he would and walked me back to my car.

  Actually, I started walking back to the car on my own. I felt like that was all we needed to talk about. I did miss him though. I hugged him and said I glad he was cool. He stayed by the car for a minute until Tiara returned. I knew he just didn’t want me to talk to any niggas. Hater! Tiara mugged him as she got in and I guess he felt forced to leave. She was a cruel girl. He asked for my number.

  “No,” Tiara bust out. I gave it to him though. I knew it was a bad idea when and after I did it. I wanted to believe him of course. Once you screw me, you remain on Tiara’s shit list forever. There was no coming back.

  The night went on and we grabbed some food. We sat in the car and ate. “I don’t know why you gave him your new number,” Tiara said. I was mad at myself. It had only been a few weeks since I changed it. He had texted once already asking me to come over. I didn’t answer. We were backed in the Pizza Hut parking lot. We loved pizza and were thrilled that one closed late.

  An Impala rode past and I just blurted out, “THERE GO ESSENCE!”

  Tiara caught that and started the car. I did not mean to say that shit out loud. I shook my head knowing this was not looking good. I threw my personal pan in the back seat. Tiara followed her for a few minutes. She was going towards a neighborhood I knew very well. She pulled up behind Dash’s truck. I shook my head. Tiara pulled over and hit the lights.

  “Whose crib?” she asked.

  I hated to admit it. “Nell’s.”

  “See bitch, I told you he was on some bullshit. Now what you wanna do,” she asked me. I hated when she did that. Peer pressure. My blood was boiling anyway.

  “I got that bitch,” I said after a minute. I had the devil on one shoulder and an angel on my other shoulder. The devil won especially with ignorant ass Tiara being present. To make a long story short I blacked out. Not good, not good at all. I needed anger management. I was probably madder than I really needed to be. I just couldn’t stand a dumb bitch and a lying nigga. That writing on my locker shit was lame and let’s not forget the private calls, the parking lot drama, and the “bullying” at school. I might of given her extra for the extra bullshit I was going through with Yung. Sorry she had to get all that but she needed it.

  As soon as Tiara slowed the car down enough, I hopped out and ran in the direction of the Impala. I timed my speed just right in order to catch her right when she got out and closed her door. She was looking real happy about being at my man’s crib. She was happy up until I hit her with the sneak attack and seven to eight blows to her face. I don’t even think the bitch knew she was in a fight. She didn’t ball up her fists or even really see who was beating her ass. I was ready to remind her ass though. I had the best grip on her hair so she couldn’t do shit but submit to face shots. There was no other point in fighting if you weren’t going for the face. She was almost in a full back bend.

  “Bitch, you thought I was never gonna get yo ass huh? I” hit her in the face.

  “You thought I was gonna let you do all that bullshit to me and get away with it?” I hit her again.

  “Where ya friends at now? Where Nell when you need his ass now huh bitch?” I asked her through gritted teeth and gave her a slew of punches.

  I saw Tiara on the scene. I had no idea how long she was there. I did hear her say that I didn’t need her help at all. I really didn’t. Essence was bigger than I was and if she knew how to wrestle, my ass was grass. Obviously, she didn’t and it was an easy fight but I was mad and she was the cause. That nigga had just invited me over and since I didn’t respond she was automatically his next pick and here she was running her ass over. I don’t like shit like that by far. She decided to fall to the ground and take me with her. We did some rolling around. I needed to get that big bitch off of me. Tiara sat back and watched not jumping in immediately like she normally would and I appreciated it. We bumped into Dash’s truck and set the alarm off.

  That snapped me out of the blackout. Dash came outside with his handicapped ass. I didn’t physically see him but I heard him talking to Tiara. He saw what was up and called Nell out. He tried to break it up lightly but Ann came out and wouldn’t let him.

  “Beat her ass,” Ann said with her Chicago born ass. Dash was still all bandaged up and in no shape to be involved anyways. Essence balled up and I just stopped. She started holding her stomach screaming, “Don’t hurt my baby don’t hurt my baby.”

  “Bitch,” I thought and started kicking her in the side. “I don’t give a fuck about yo baby bitch.” I damn near wanted to elbow drop her in the stomach. “Stupid ass! Take this ass whooping,” I screamed. I was done until she started talking crazy and amped me up again.

  “Bitch you not pregnant,” Ann said, pouring her bottle of gin on her ass.

  “She doesn’t want any part of this,” Tiara said, basically telling me to stop.

  Nell ran out with his gun like it was really a problem like that. I was already headed back to my car. Tiara was running up behind me laughing. I wasn’t. I had broken three of my nails down to the meat and my shit was bleeding. I looked back to see Nell bent down seeing about Essence. Of course, Dash was laughing and Ann showed no mercy. They were both ignorant but I loved them.

  “I love you Kee,” Dash yelled out trying to catch his breath from laughing. I had to smile. He was an asshole. Tiara was pissed that Nell was seeing about Essence and not me.

  “Oh no,” she said, “Fuck that! Pull up by his car,” she told me and threw my favorite weed ashtray right through Nell’s windshield. We pulled off. I must say June was starting to be eventful. Tiara was in the car dying laughing about what had just taken place. I wasn’t thrilled. Well, maybe a little.

  Whether you win or lose a fight, your body is sore as hell the next day. I was mad that I fell asleep. It gave my body the time it needed to realize my muscles had been worked from swinging with all my might. I knew the feeling all too well but it had been a little minute since I actually had to endure it. I even took a bath in some Epsom salt and risked having a yeast infection to prevent the pain, but it was inevitable. I was glad we weren’t in school when I beat Essence up, then I would have to deal with Ebony and the rest of her minions.

  I had enough of the bullshit for one summer and I still had another month and some change left. I knew that I would be bored if I didn’t take my ass home for a few days. Without Tiara and Nell, I had nothing to do. I was hardly working, so I decided to hit the highway and do shit my way. The way I knew things to be just a few months ago and the way I liked them, familiar. I had just taken Tiara to the train station about two hours before and I was already right behind her.

  The first day I got there, I just chilled with my granny around the house. I didn’t even tell Tiara I was going to be in town for two days. I got there at six and me and my Granny watched the “Cosby Show” and picked greens for the next night’s dinner. She had me eating watermelon with salt on it and shucking corn. I damn near wanted to churn some butter
because she was making me feel straight country. I just kind of hung with my granny and did chores to help her out. I missed hanging with her and I needed a change of scenery. It felt good when I entered into my run down city. I felt safe and at home and I was. I looked at all the abandoned buildings and vacant houses.

  “It looks like a tornado ran through this mug,” I thought. I didn’t mind it though. It was all I knew. I thought that I might have been embarrassed if I had somebody with me. They better not had said shit though. We can talk about our city but let another muthafucka try it. We did not take that shit lightly.

  After my night with my granny, I decided it was cool for people to know that I was in town. Tiara was blowing me up trying to get me to double date with her. I was not feeling that idea. My other girl Avi wanted me to go with her to her aunt’s BBQ but it was the aunt that put onions in her mac and cheese so I was cool on that offer too. We just all decided to meet up later and do something. I thought twice about going to chill with Tiara and the niggas but I really didn’t feel like taking one for the team and maybe letting him suck my breasts or something because Tiara left to go fuck his buddy. “Ugh,” I thought.

  I was not in the mood for that shit. I was pretty much out of options. In a short period of time, my so-called friends dropped off the roster. A bunch of backstabbing bitches they were. I just completely stopped fucking with them. I didn’t have time for petty insecure chicks that wanted to bone my exes. It made me mad that they waited until I left to turn against me. So, my options were limited and Yung was definitely out of the question. I needed something to do though.

  After a few more hours and no phone calls, I decided to hang with Tiara. She was excited and promised it wasn’t going to be as bad as I thought it would be. I rolled my eyes as I got dressed in some comfortable shit, no makeup, and my high top pink gym shoes. Tiara pulled up in my uncle’s truck and we were out. We pulled up on the “dark side” of town and picked up two niggas. “First off, why in the hell are we picking them up,” I thought as I watched them walk towards us. I looked at Tiara like she was a damn fool.

  “Ay, chill,” she told me. “Ain’t like yo ass was busy.”

  I still wasn’t going even though they were both cuties and dressed nice. They could have just dressed nice for that day though. “They could be some undercover bums,” I thought. They climbed in behind us and Tiara did the intros, “Kee, this is Chris and Rob.”

  I gave a dry hey and waved my hand. They spoke back with way more enthusiasm than I had. “Y’all smoke,” I heard one of them say. That brightened my face. At least I would be high if I had to be on a play date.

  At the dinner table, I figured Tiara talked to Chris and I was supposed to talk to Rob from the way we were sitting. I was high and hungry so I just ate and listened to Chris and Tiara talk. Tiara was giving the nigga the third degree. Rob and I laughed a few times at the shit they were bringing up. Rob looked pretty high as well and all I saw him do was eat and complain the whole time about the food, yet he still ate the whole meal.

  He tried to say a few words to me towards the end of the dinner, but I was too into my phone to even care. I could have been nicer but after the nigga didn’t pay for my food, I had completely checked out of the date. So, no car and no money was the verdict. I didn’t see the reason to continue but Tiara texted me to chill once we ended up back at their pick up spot. I sat in the back with Rob trying to put on a happy face. They went in first.

  “Girl, I bet this is a bitch’s house,” I told her referring to it being low-income housing. “Don’t no nigga got section 8,” I told her. They finally told us it was cool to come in after fifteen minutes.

  The crib was pretty empty, but there was a couch and I planned on being on it until Tiara finished doing whatever she was going to do. We all smoked again and made small talk. I asked to use the bathroom and he directed me. I really didn’t have to use it. I just wanted to get away for a second and maybe be nosey. Just like I thought, it had some girly décor, pink and burgundy floral print. I went in the medicine cabinet and read a prescription for itching and burning.

  “Nasty bitch,” I thought. The nasty bitch’s name was, Tawanna Daniels. I knew a girl lived there from the perm that was open in the refrigerator. I peeked in when Chris went in to get a drink. I didn’t care to tell Tiara. I’m sure she didn’t care to be informed because she was already in the room and I heard a little something as I passed the door. Rob watched me walk towards him. I guess he thought it was Mr. Nasty time, but he thought wrong. He had the TV off and the lights.

  “Boy boo,” I thought. He might as well stop scratching his nuts and turn the light back on. He was a gat damn fool.

  I sat on the couch and looked like now what. He pulled my hair off my neck and started kissing it. I rolled my eyes as I chewed my double bubble that I found in unc’s truck.

  “Please hurry up Tiara,” I thought as he tried to reach for a boob. I moved his hand down and from under my shirt. He tried again and I did the same. I let him do it a little on the outside but that was as good as it was going to get.

  The nigga ain’t even pay for dinner. I guess he was used to chicks fucking because he had weed and somewhere to fuck. This is why they were fucking with the low income chicks on this side of town. They were as easy as one, two, and three. He was the worst in the best way. His breath smelled and I know my neck was stinking. I guess he gave up after the few tugs to my pants strings and me denying him access.

  He sat back and lit the weed. The lighter revealed his mad face and my face revealed happiness. That nigga did not pass the weed to me and started talking shit about me being a stuck up bitch.

  “Really?” I asked not really looking for an answer. He continued with the name-calling. A frog did form in my throat. I knew I couldn’t beat the nigga up, so I just chilled and let him talk shit. All the while, I was thinking of something negative to do to him.

  After thirty minutes of shit talking and looking at Rob scratch his balls, he fell asleep which was his downfall. How he gonna go from tryna fuck, to arguing, to sleeping. Either way he had just screwed his damn self. I let him get it in real good to make sure he was in a good deep sleep. Once the nigga started snoring, I was up and in the refrigerator. I left the refrigerator door open so that I could see in the pitch-black room.

  Rob still had his hand in his pants. I stirred the perm with the stick that the chick left in the cup. I sat next to Rob and moved his hand real slow. His pants were already unzipped, which made me realize how thirsty the nigga was for some pussy. I opened his pants and slid the stick down his boxers and on his pubic hair. Since the nigga wasn’t moving, I was able to get a nice lather. I tossed the cup away, closed the refrigerator, and headed for the door. Tiara’s ass was right behind me not knowing the urgency of the departure. We pulled off. I was cracking up tryna tell Tiara what I had just done. I didn’t stick around to see the outcome but perm burns if you scratch ya hair before you apply it. I didn’t know what it would do to the hair down there. The nigga was definitely a scratcher though. I was over that shit. I was ready to go home.

  Home ended up being an hour away. I finally accepted that I had moved and my life here was no longer the same. My ride home was tranquil. I was content that I had to leave that life behind. I was in my emotions heavily on the ride home. I looked in my rearview a few times and said farewell. I decided to get cozy and jump all into my new surroundings. My mom was on my nerves about spending more time at home or finding me some friends in the area. Without Nell Ann and I weren’t as close anymore and she was the only person that I could fuck with so far.

  “These chicks,” I thought and shook my head. Ann was from the city so we could relate. We noticed shit that the average chick might have never noticed. It was obvious that where you are from is definitely what you are accustomed to seeing and doing.

  I guess I just got tired of the same shit and people. I turned my radio up once I heard “It’s Just One of Those Days” coming through my sp
eakers hard. It took me back to my childhood and made me miss the good ol days when shit was simple and your friends weren’t damaged goods, scorned jealous hoes, and the niggas still had the cooties.

  I stepped out on my porch in my pajamas enjoying the Sunday morning weather. I sat on the steps and looked over to my right. My neighbor was sitting out on her porch looking nice and sweet.

  She said, “HI,” once we made eye contact with a huge smile.

  “Hey girl,” I responded.

  My damn body was sore so I probably didn’t sound the sweetest. Plus I’m not a morning person. I remembered her from Chemistry and I think she complimented me on my hair a few times. She seemed overly sweet. I noticed she was only angry in Chemistry class. In the halls and when I saw her outside of our cribs, she seemed cool. She must really have hated our teacher. He was an ass though and his teaching style was horrible. Way too advanced for juniors in high school. He made it impossible to get an A. We talked about that for a hot second. She asked what he gave me. I told her a C-. She told me she got a F. We both laughed. He was a dick.

  My phone vibrated in my hand and it was my ,om with her famous “to do list.”

  “Cherokee, wash the dishes, sweep and mop the kitchen,” she texted. I frowned. I hated washing the damn dishes. “Girl Next Door” stood up on her porch. I tried to remember her name. I think it was Kori. I’m pretty good with names.

  “So, yeah you go with Nell right,” she said. I thought about it briefly.

  “Naw girl, we just cool,” I told her looking down at my phone. I didn’t feel like going through all the “what happened” questions. Besides, I didn’t know her.

  “Oh ok, y’all would be cute together,” she said. “I heard him and his brother just got shot.” She told me she knew Nell since third grade… blah, blah, blah. Nell was just not a topic my ears could focus on. She asked me who did my hair. I told her I went home every now and then but I did my own color and bangs this time.