Love Me or Leave Me Alone 2

by Nikisha Mock

  I thought on it for a minute. Then I recalled a time when I had to be about seven or eight years old on the playground at school. The teacher had us all bring in empty spools of thread and told us that we were going to make our own bubbles to blow. Everyone loves blowing bubbles and this particular memory has always stuck with me because I remember being so happy and excited that day. She taught us that if we added just a little water plus some liquid dish detergent and stuck the end of a spool of thread into our mixture, we could blow through the holes in the opposite end of the spool and create massive bubbles in all shapes and sizes.

  “Even now if I happen to come across a kid blowing bubbles I always smile and it brings me back to that moment,” I told him with a grin. It felt good thinking about that again.

  “Well then, that is your first homework assignment,” he said.

  “Homework assignment? Come again, doc?”

  He laughed. “Yes ma’am, your homework assignment. I want you to go and purchase a bottle of bubbles. The very next time you feel yourself about to go down that road of reliving past bad experiences or pain and sadness, I want you to pull out your bottle of bubbles and start blowing them. Take big deep breaths in before each blow. Keep doing this until you start to feel calm again. The deep breathing will help relax you and the bubbles represent a pleasant and happy memory from your life which will help to deflect the negative, bad memories. Try that out, and come see me next week so you can tell me I was right.”

  I paused and looked at him as if he was crazy. This caused him a great deal of laughter.

  “I’m kidding Miss Harris,” he said still amused and I had to laugh a little too.

  “Thank you for seeing me today, Dr. Jones,” I said as I stood to leave.

  “The pleasure was all mine, Miss Harris. You take care,” he said as he rose to see me out of his office and to the front to schedule my next appointment.

  I left his office feeling all kind of ways. That man had not said one thing out of the way or inappropriate to me yet all I could think about was how much of an attraction I immediately felt towards him. I was so wrong for that. I loved Tyler and was sitting there wearing the beautiful engagement ring that he put on my finger while lusting over my new doctor. Maybe I needed to change physicians before I reacted on those lustful feelings I was having. I’d never cheated before and I loved Tyler. But there was just something about that Dr. Jones.

  Chapter Five

  Eva

  “Hey girl! I am so glad you called me. I miss you!” I squealed into the phone to Ayanna. She’s been back in our area for about six months and I could count the number of times on one hand that we’d seen each other.

  “I know girl, I miss you too. We have so much to catch up on. What have you been up to? How are the kids and Tyler?” she asked.

  “Everyone is good, except me. Girl, I know it’s been two years but the shooting still has some bad effects on me. Tyler recommended that I go see someone.”

  “See someone? You mean like a shrink?” Ayanna asked.

  “Yeah, like a shrink. Why you gotta say it like that, girl?” I laughed.

  “Because, no matter what you’re going through, if it had been bad enough to where you need to see a therapist I would think that you would let your girls know, right?”

  “Well one of my girls has been MIA pretty much since it happened so I haven’t had a chance to tell her. What have you been up to anyway? You moved back six months ago and we haven’t seen your ass yet. What’s up with that, Yanna?”

  She took a deep breath before she responded. “I know, girl, and I’m sorry. So much has changed since I left and I wasn’t quite sure how you and C would take it.”

  “Girl, what could be so different that you thought we would have a problem with it? You didn’t kill anybody, did you?” I laughed a weak laugh silently praying to God that it wasn’t that.

  She laughed, “No, nothing like that. It’s just that, you know when I left I took a leave of absence from my job, right?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Well, about a year ago they called me and said that the company had decided to downsize and they were starting with management. They asked me if I would consider a layoff complete with a severance package deal and all. I thought about it long and hard and then I said fuck it, sign me up. So my job ended, I took the money, finished my island vacation in St. Thomas, and then moved back here.”

  I was stunned! I couldn’t believe she hadn’t at least told her girls.

  “A year ago, Ayanna? What kind of severance package did they give you if you’ve been out of work for a whole year? Are you looking for a job?” I asked, being the concerned friend that I am.

  “Who said I’m not working?” she asked and there was a hint of something in her voice that I couldn’t help but notice. Sarcasm? Hesitation?

  “Okay then, where you working?”

  “Downtown Al’s,” she replied.

  I was unable to speak or utter a single solitary word. Did my friend of the last fifteen years just tell me that she was working at a damn strip club? Oh hell no.

  “Ayanna! You’re stripping now? If it was a money thing you could have let us know, all of us would have chipped in to help. You didn’t have to go down there showing-”

  “Girl, please! Do you really think I would be a stripper? Come on now, Eva, let’s be real. I know I got a banging body and all, but I have zero rhythm unless we doing the horizontal tango and you know it. I’m a bartender!” she laughed.

  I laughed with her and breathed a sigh of relief. “Whew! You play too much. So what made you do this? I am very curious.”

  “Well, one night I was walking downtown, just enjoying the night air and I heard the loud music and commotion coming out of Downtown Al’s so I said what the hell, and went inside. I sat down at the bar and started talking to this girl named Star. Next thing I knew, Star was introducing me to Al’s fat ass himself. It always amazes me to see what these strip club owners look like. So after speaking with Al, he said the job was mine so I took it. I see all types of craziness too. Guess who came by the club last night.”

  “Who?”

  “Dre. He was laughing with his homeboys and some chick but when they approached the bar and he saw me, he stopped laughing completely and whispered something to one of his boys. I don’t know what he said but after that, they tried to give me a hard time. It lasted all of five minutes though because you know I don’t play that.”

  “Wow, Yanna. This is all some heavy shit. First, you have me thinking you’re stripping, but it turns out you’re the bartender. Now you’re telling me ghosts from hell’s past have resurfaced. This is why I miss your tail. It’s never a dull moment with you,” I chuckled.

  “Well, this thing with Dre wasn’t all that funny to me but I blew it off. Hopefully, that was the last time he comes in there. I put that whole stupid situation behind me and I hope him and his cousin did too.”

  “I hope so too. So tell me, when can me and Ciara come visit you at work?” I asked. I was really interested in seeing this side of Ayanna.

  “Y’all can come this Thursday night. I’ll be there around nine.”

  “Okay cool. And Yanna?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Please don’t let it be so long before we talk to or see you again. We miss you and we’re your family. We care about what’s going on with you,” I said sincerely.

  “I know and I won’t. I just had to get some things in order in my life. But I’m good right now. I would never forget about my girls.”

  “I hope not, Ayanna. Talk to you later, girl. I love you.”

  “Love you too, Easy E.”

  Chapter Six

  Eva

  With the summer quickly approaching, my kids were preparing for their month long stay with my mother. I was really grateful to have the opportunity for my kids to be occupied for so long during the summer because it really helped with summer day care costs and it gave me a much-needed break. Miles and Kayla
were excited about it also because my mama spoiled them rotten.

  “Mommy, what are you going to do while we’re gone?” Kayla asked.

  “Oh, I don’t know. I’ll probably be so sad I won’t be able to do anything,” I teased.

  “Yeah right. You’ll be glad to get rid of us for a little while,” Miles joked.

  “No way! A month without my rugrats?”

  “I’m sure you’ll think of something,” he smiled.

  My son was becoming more and more like me every day. It made me smile. Just as we were having a good little chat, the love of my life walked in and greeted everybody.

  “Ty!” Kyla screamed and ran to jump in his arms. She’d grown really fond of Tyler since he moved in with us and I could tell he loved my little girl too.

  Tyler picker her up and gave her a huge hug and kiss.

  “Hey baby girl. Have you been good today?” he asked her.

  “Yes” she said giggling.

  “She lying,” Miles said without even looking up from his phone.

  “Aye, what’s up man?” Tyler said reaching his hand out to give Miles a pound.

  “Ain’t nothing,” Miles responded and it made me and Tyler laugh.

  “Ain’t nothing, huh? You think you are so cool, don’t you Miles?” I said laughing.

  “Ma, I don’t know why we gotta go through this all the time. I am the coolest, finest, young stunna on this block. Can’t nobody see me around here,” Miles said and pushed his chest forward.

  We all laughed really hard at that because Miles was just clowning around. Then Tyler came over and sat down beside me on the couch. He hugged me and kissed me on the cheek.

  “So how was your day, beautiful?” he asked me.

  “It was pretty good, bae. I can’t complain and no use complaining anyway.”

  “I heard that. Aye, how did the first visit with the head doctor go the other day? You never said anything.”

  Damn. I had been thinking about Dr. Jones nonstop since my visit with him but I had avoided talking about it with Tyler until now.

  “It went pretty good. It wasn’t what I expected but it was okay. I have another appointment next week. He gave me a homework assignment.”

  Tyler looked at me like I was crazy. “A homework assignment? What kind of homework assignment?”

  I got up and went to the room then I came back with a huge bottle of bubbles. I opened them, pulled out the wand, and blew a million bubbles. Kyla squealed and immediately jumped up trying in vain to catch the bubbles. I smiled and looked at the dumbfounded look on Tyler’s face.

  “Okay so the doctor asked me about a moment in my life that brought an intense amount of happiness. I told him about a time in my childhood blowing bubbles and here we are!” I said spreading my hands out for emphasis. Tyler was looking at me like he wasn’t buying it and I laughed again.

  “Aye, I’m sure this man gets paid hella dollars to have his clients doing shit like this so if blowing bubbles makes you feel better then by all means baby, blow away,” he finally said laughing.

  I cooked us a great meal that night of steak and potatoes, side salad and some good old-fashioned iced tea. I helped Kyla with her homework and Tyler helped Miles with a science project. By the end of the night, everyone was happy and ready to settle down.

  As I was taking a nice hot shower, the shower door opened and in walked my sexy man. I loved his complexion and the ripples in his arms and legs. His stomach was a perfect six-pack; evidence of his dedication to the gym.

  He walked in and stood behind me. He took the loofah from my hands and began washing my back with it. I held my head down and closed my eyes as the warm water cascading down my shoulders and chest and down the rest of my body. Being so close to Tyler like this always calmed me down and relaxed me. We washed each other and fondled each other a little too. Once our shower was complete, he rubbed me down with lotion and I returned the favor.

  “Baby I love the way you touch me,” I said while lying on my side staring at him.

  “How come you always staring at me like that? What kind of thoughts you got going on in that dome head of yours?” he joked.

  “I got your dome head,” I replied and he asked me where it was. I love a challenge so I picked up his dick and told him it was right here. That shut his ass up and he laughed. Then he got a little serious on me for a minute.

  “Bae, I know you weren’t really feeling the whole therapist thing but do you at least feel the first visit wasn’t a total waste of time? You looked happy as hell blowing those damn bubbles so if doc doesn’t get anything else right; tell him your man says thanks for making his woman smile.”

  Now why did I feel like shit for a hot second? I hadn’t, and wouldn’t do anything inappropriate, but still hearing Tyler talk so highly of the same doctor that I had been having impure thoughts about just seemed so…wrong.

  We talked for a little more and just cuddled until we both drifted off to sleep. At three a.m. I woke up gasping for air. This shit was getting old.

  “Lay back down, bae. It was just a dream, you good I got you,” Tyler mumbled.

  My poor baby. I was interrupting his sleep with all this craziness. I tried to lie back down but sleep would not come easily. I kept tossing and turning so I decided to get up and leave the room so I wouldn’t disturb Tyler anymore.

  I went down into the den and logged on to the computer. Before I knew it, I had Googled Dr. Bryce Jones. His professional pictures were just as nice as seeing him in person. I read that he studied at Howard University and also received his Masters from Duke University School of Medicine.

  Smart and intelligent Black man, I thought to myself.

  I was all caught up in reading about him and his career and then I came across some disturbing articles. Apparently, Dr. Jones was married but his wife was killed in a car accident ten years ago. They never had children. I immediately felt so sorry for him. I didn’t even know this man but reading about his personal life had me feeling all kind of ways. I decided to turn off the computer and try to get some more sleep. Maybe this time I can dream of Dr. Jones with that sexy smile of his instead of my crazy deceased boyfriend.

  Chapter Seven

  Ciara

  Ayanna had invited us to Thirsty Thursdays at Downtown Al’s. The club was starting to develop a small crowd already and it was only 9:30. Eva told the bouncer our names were on Ayanna’s list and he let us in with no problem. It was dark inside the club except for the stage.

  Two girls were giving the patrons inside a show of all shows. A pretty Asian chick was riding the face of a slim light-skinned girl while in sixty-nine position on top of her. Miss Asian Persuasion was encouraging men to the edge of the stage close enough to put dollars in her mouth. She somehow managed to hook the dollars everywhere she could on the other girl’s body. She had them in her panties, in her leg garter, everywhere. The men went wild. I stopped mid-stride to watch the show. Eva nudged me and laughed then pointed towards the bar where Ayanna was.

  “Hey girls! What’s up? I’m glad y’all came out,” Ayanna beamed.

  “Bartender, pour me a fireball, please,” I yelled over the music.

  Ayanna and Eva looked at each other. “A fireball!”

  I laughed. “Yeah, a fireball. Y’all act like y’all ain’t ever heard of fireball whiskey shots before?”

  “We have but damn, when did you start drinking whiskey?” Ayanna laughed and put the shot glass down in front of me.

  “I drink liquor. Don’t matter what kind it is,” I laughed.

  “Well hell, pour me one too then!” Eva said.

  While we had a great time laughing and catching up, another bartender came from the back and walked over. Ayanna introduced her new friend to Eva and me.

  “Eva, Ciara, this is Star. Star, these are my best friends in the entire world. Star is a young one,” Ayanna joked.

  Star sucked her teeth. “My age is by default. I ain’t have a choice in that matter but trust me I’v
e been through enough to feel like I’m forty-five.”

  When Ayanna first came to work at Al’s, Star was their main bartender. She threw Ayanna a little shade at first but Ayanna being the firecracker that she is was having none of it and put Star on blast immediately.

  Since then, Star and Ayanna had kind of formed a new bond although both girls were super cautious for obvious reasons. They’d just met at a strip club and no telling what each other’s story was. Ayanna soon found out a lot about Star though. More than she could have ever imagined a twenty-three year old could bear.

  “Why y’all drinking some nasty ass fireball whiskey? Damn Yanna, is this how you treat your girlfriends?” Star asked with attitude and sarcasm.

  “You got one better then? Serve ‘em up then, shit!” Ayanna said and smacked Star on the ass.

  Okay, I thought to myself. I saw that little gesture and I think Eva did too, but no one said anything about it. Star saw us checking it out and smirked. She fixed us one of her favorite drinks then sat the drinks down in front of us.

  “Whoa! This drink is strong but I like it. I like it a lot!” Eva said and down another big sip of her drink.

  “Yeah, Star, what is this? It’s pretty good,” I said.

  “A Dirty Whore,” Ayanna said and Star just looked at her like damn you couldn’t let me tell them?

  “Well damn if that ain’t fitting for tonight. Pour me another one!” I giggled.

  “Alright. You might think the taste is pretty smooth but don’t drink these things too fast. If you do I hope your ass ain’t driving,” Star said shaking her head. “Alright you wanna be playa’s I got the star of the show, the main attraction, the one we love to call Miss Indigo!”

  When the DJ announced who was about to hit the stage it was like a mad dash to be front and center. Almost every dude in the place rushed the stage. The song “Throw This Money” started playing and a bright blue light started shining center stage. The curtain at the back of the stage parted and out pranced one of the prettiest girls I've ever seen.