Lychos

by Larsen, Patti

  Tingling in my feet reassures me the damage he did to my spinal cord is being handled. I turn over on my side and cough blood into the straw, my body chill and shivering. My wolf can handle a lot, can heal a great deal, but the weaker I become, the harder it will be for her to save me. I rest a moment, forehead itchy from the coarse bedding, before leveraging myself painfully up into sitting position.

  I hug my arms around my naked torso, strands of my black-dyed bob sticking in the crusted blood on the side of my face. I lick slowly at my parched lips, hands exploring myself to ensure nothing is still mutilated past the point of support. I have to explore my little prison and see if there is a way to escape. And there’s no telling how long Andre will be gone. The sky outside is going dark again, so he’s done a lot of damage, taking my wolf nearly a half a day to heal enough to wake me. Andre must be furious to take his torture that far.

  I know now it’s not about pleasure for him anymore, but about punishment. I’ve taken the joy out of it for him. My lips curl as I grin into the empty air. Good. I’m glad I hurt him, even if only a little. Once I’m out of here, I’ll make sure I finish the job.

  Optimism is costly as I pull myself to my feet, leaning heavily on the stone wall to keep me upright. It’s quite likely I’ll never escape this, never again see Sage or anyone else I love. That I’ll die here after Rupe uses me to capture Sage. But I can’t quit. I just don’t have it in me.

  I stagger forward a step, another, until I’m under the narrow window. It’s far too high for me to reach in this condition. The fresh air flowing in from outside rejuvenates me somewhat, though, and I breathe in the scent of outside a moment before turning and looking back into the room.

  The small table is gone, Andre’s implements. He’s not stupid enough to leave them behind. I make the round of the room, eventually leaning out from the wall, using one hand to steady myself. The door is thick, solid steel, the lock a deadbolt into stone and windowless. Unless I can somehow figure out how to walk through walls, I’m trapped.

  I sink into a corner, heels tucked tight, arms around my knees, and reach for my wolf. I can feel her, as I used to, more peripheral, less connected. The sorcery controls muffle me in a wet blanket of darkness. She’s there, but she’s even quieter than she used to be when I was under the influence of the Black Souls. Rupe is right. The Czar was arrogant, trusting too much to his track record and the status quo. Syd showed him the error of such thinking. I giggle with mild hysteria at the memory of my friend coming to my rescue. Good times.

  I shake my head, knowing I’m fading into delusion from weakness and dehydration. I have no idea how much blood I’ve lost, though my wolf is working hard to restore me. While I know it’s impossible and will never work, I push into her, feeling my wereform take shape. I’m shaky when I’m only part-way shifted and have to give up, reverting to human form again. I hoped maybe I could take my full wolf body, find a way to break the hold Rupe has over me. But the noose is too tight around my magic and I can only sag, head falling forward, forehead pressing into my knees as I sigh out my resignation.

  There has to be something I can do. I can’t just sit here and wait for Andre to come back. That’s what I used to do, when I was young and had no choice. I was out of options then, a little girl trapped in a life I was sure I’d never escape. But my freedom has made me restless, unable to sink into the acceptance I had as a child. It saved me, helped me build walls and barriers around what mattered most, my most sensitive thoughts and hopes. But that same resignation now feels like quitting.

  And I won’t quit.

  I feel his mind as I lift my head, determined to find some way to act. It’s as distant as before, but he’s aware of me this time. My Sage. I weep into my hands, soft sobs crushing my heart as the animal brain that remains to him links with mine and howls his despair and loss.

  Sage. I try to pull him into focus, to dig for some part of the man I love that might be left behind, salvage in the wreck of his humanity. But he grunts at me, growls and snarls, biting at my mind like a hurt creature cornered and in pain. I soothe him with my mind, stroking his gently and feel him calm.

  Sage. This time when I speak his voice in my mind, he merely grumbles. His hold on me tightens and I catch the barest glimpse of him, running through a forest in the dark. He comes to a halt and the image leaves me, but his mind clings to mine.

  There might be hope here, if I can get through to him. It’s a long shot, his scrambled thoughts all about hunting and the scent of the forest, but my face is in his mind and there is a fierceness to the attachment I know is the only reason he can reach me and I him. I silently thank the love we have for each other that makes even this tenuous touch possible.

  Sage, listen carefully. I show him an image of Syd. He recoils and I almost lose him but I send my own image and he stops, comes back. Slowly, carefully, I superimpose her face over mine until I can feel him panting in confusion.

  Find her, I send. Sage, find Syd. Contact her. Like you’re contacting me.

  He doesn’t understand, that’s clear from his anxious mental whining. I touch him with my magic as best I can, then show him Syd again. Sage, find her.

  This time, a glimmer of understanding sparks. He barks. My stomach in knots, I again touch him with my magic and then show him Syd.

  He’s gone with a yelp, his mind abandoning mine. I have no idea as I let my head fall back against the stone if he actually understood. It’s impossible to tell. I attempt to calm my breathing, head burning with an ache, which makes opening my eyes difficult. But I tried, I did my best. And if he did get it, if I did make it clear and he is now searching for Syd, I may yet find a way from this place.

  It’s dangerous, sending Sage for her. He’s a real revenant now, or, at least, a wolf. It might be too much for Femke, make her turn against him. But I know Syd won’t give up on either of us.

  I hear footsteps outside the door, the grinding sound of metal on stone. When Andre shoves the portal open and steps inside, I stare up at him with a sharp-toothed smile.

  “I’ve been waiting for you,” I say.

  He pins me with magic, though I’ve done nothing to fight against him. I can’t, not with the hold Rupe has over me. I was lucky enough to be able to break and bite him. That won’t be happening again. I can already feel the strength sapping from my body as Andre brings in the small table with his shining implements on it and closes the door.

  But as he turns to me, to begin again, his hatred for me replacing his need to own me, I continue to smile. It might be just like old times, but I have hope.

  It’ll kill him to find out he’ll never win.

  ***

  Chapter Eighteen

  I’m strong, but there’s only so much abuse my body can endure. I hang on to consciousness longer than normal, clinging to my thread of enjoyment at Andre’s growing frustration. When he cuts me, I laugh, the pain nothing in the face of his weakness. When he stabs me, I lick my lips and push the implement deeper, embracing the experience, using it to feed my will.

  Andre’s slick professionalism fails him at last, reverting to brute strength and fury, beating me finally into the darkness with a heavy, rubber mallet. I force myself to smile even as the darkness claims me, knowing no matter what he does to me from this point on, I’ve broken him.

  How delightful.

  The sun is setting again when I wake this time, crumpled in the corner with my head at an odd angle. It’s immensely painful to shift out of the twisted and shattered position, to feel my bones grind together as I gasp through the agony. My breath wheezes out of my parched throat as I slump, shattered but straightened out at least, sitting against the cold wall. The chill is soothing on the burning skin of my back and I wonder why my wolf has allowed me to wake so soon.

  I can feel her struggling to heal me. She never quits, as focused as I am and her determination gives me the added strength I need to take stock. As I sit there, feeling my bones knit together, I realize she had no c
hoice but to rouse me. Had she tried to heal me in the awkward position I was in, my body would not have reformed correctly. Instead, I rest against the wall on the dirty straw, palms up, legs spread out before me, and endure the pain that comes with my wolf restoring my battered form.

  I whimper as she fuses the two breaks in my collarbone, though when she pops my ribs back into position, I have to bite my lip until it bleeds to keep from screaming. Andre’s rage proves to me he knows he’s failed. And regardless of Rupe’s orders, I know if he gets the chance, the Dumont leader will kill me the next time he comes to visit.

  There can’t be a next time. I have to find a way to escape. My mind goes to Sage, to Syd, and I use what precious energy my wolf needs to heal me to reach out to my love. And find nothing. He’s gone, long gone, and I can’t find a trace of him. As my wolf chuffs softly and goes back to work, I do my best not to fall into despair at his absence. I have no idea how long it’s been, maybe a day, since I sent him away. Surely, he could have reached her by now if he was going to. I writhe as I think of him captured, hurt or even dead, but I breathe through my fear into calm. If they had him, I would know. Andre surely wouldn’t be able to resist rubbing such a truth in my face in an effort to break me. And, to be honest, though nothing else has succeeded, I fear if they do capture Sage and use him against me, I will shatter at long last.

  I have to believe he’s safe. My hand twitches as the muscle in my bicep weaves together, the tissue torn apart in a violent blow. I feel something sharp prod my skin and look down in the last of the light, catching a faint glimpse of silver buried in the straw.

  What is it? My fingers close around it, pull it free, sticky with blackened blood. A spike, about a foot and a half long, with a smooth leather shaft for a handle. And as I stare at it, I remember.

  Andre stabbed me with it. And I bit him, tearing it free from my flesh as my teeth sank into his. It flew across the room. He must have forgotten it in his fury. Left me a weapon.

  It’s painful to move, but I don’t care. I lift the spike to my chest, cradle the steel crusted in my blood to my naked breasts and weep in joy.

  My tears don’t last long, dehydration not allowing me many, but I’m tired of crying long before I’m done anyway. A few hiccups break the silence in my cell as my wolf labors to save me. I lift my chin, look out the window into the darkening sky and try to be patient, to let her do her job, even as I make plans for my sharp little friend tucked against me.

  My mother’s face appears to me, a hallucination. My free hand rises to touch her, only to pass through her smile.

  Sharlotta, she whispers.

  “Momma.” Another tear manages an escape. “Help me.”

  You have everything you need, the vision says. I gave it to you long ago.

  She did. My training, so early, was all for this moment. Though I was taken from her too young, I realize now all the things she taught me, how to be resilient, to fight, to protect myself, were in preparation for Andre and the future in store for a young weregirl.

  “Momma,” I say. “Thank you.”

  You will survive, she says. You always do. And you will be magnificent.

  I nod slowly, thinking of Zoe Helios, the young Oracle. She foresaw a trauma, apologized for it. Said I’d make it through. I can’t help but sob softly.

  Courage, my sweet child, my mother says as she slowly fades away. My beautiful daughter. This moment of pain is almost over...

  My fingers encounter nothing as I reach for her again, only the shadows before me as the sun sets. I cover my face with my free hand and bend over, mouth open, silent sobbing shaking my entire body. I can’t control it, letting out all the grief and pain and fear in empty, heaving gasps of air. I can barely breathe around my need to choke, stomach clenching though there is nothing in it to come up. My wolf surges with new strength, a wave of healing power washing over me and sending me backward, pressing me against the cold wall as I cough on my sorrow and feel the last of my body knit back together.

  I know I should rise immediately, that Andre could come at any time, but I rest there for a few moments, catching my breath, wiping at my wet cheeks. I feel calm again, almost light, though I know it’s from hunger and lack of water. I’m likely in danger of my system shutting down if I don’t receive sustenance. Even werewolves can die of such basic lacks given enough time and damage to our bodies. I bask in the feeling of weightlessness a moment before finally pushing myself to my feet.

  I’m not as wobbly as I expect, free hand against the wall, my right holding tight to the steel spike. The door is close, close enough I don’t have to expend much energy to reach it. I know it won’t work, but I try using my weapon to dislodge the deadbolt, the tip just thin enough to reach. After a few tries and some grunting effort, I give up. There is no keyhole on this side, and without access to the mechanism, my sharp friend is about as useless as I am.

  Well, not entirely. I have options, now. I heft it, brushing the dried blood from its smooth roundness. I can make this all go away, if I choose, can turn this on myself. Thwart Andre and Rupe, take away their bait, no longer allow them to use me against Sage, or for a toy.

  But that is last resort. I may be weak of body, but my determination is as powerful as ever. I might not have access to my magic, but I grew up in the same position and it didn’t stop me. And I might not have anyone to help me, but then, I’ve always been alone.

  I will not fail myself. I will hover by this door, and I will wait for whoever comes through. And I will drive this spike through their heart and take their life before taking my own, if it comes to that.

  My knees buckle a little so I crouch instead of standing, hovering by the door, eyes locked on its edge. Time ticks by, but there is only the hot metal in my shaking hand, the ache of my legs from my straining muscles and the slow, steady breathing I was taught to encourage focus.

  When I hear someone approaching at last, it almost shatters my calm. I stifle a hysterical, disoriented giggle behind one hand, fingers shifting on the spike in the other, bouncing on my screaming knees as the footsteps hurry toward the door.

  I can’t smell him through the metal, but I know it’s Andre. And I can’t wait to see his face when I kill him. I lick my lips. Maybe I should make it slow, painful? But I don’t have time for that. My wolf shakes me a little with a growl. I must act if I’m going to have my revenge. And maybe, just maybe, even escape.

  I clamp my hand over the next squeak of excited fear emerging as laughter just as the deadbolt slowly turns. My wolf growls softly in my head as the door creaks and eases open an inch, another, until it’s enough and I lunge, spike extended to kill.

  ***

  Chapter Nineteen

  I catch his scent at the last second. It’s the only thing that saves Piers’s life.

  He falls back with a cry as I collapse, still clutching my spike, at his feet. I look up at him, not believing what I’m seeing, smelling. He must be another hallucination, like my mother. But when he bends over me, his blond hair brushing over my naked skin, fearful gray eyes full of worry, I know he’s really here with me.

  Piers sweeps off his longcoat and drapes it over me before helping me to my feet. I fall into his arms and he hugs me close, the feel of him so wonderful I can barely stand it. My body breaks into powerful shivers, making it hard to stay upright, but Piers holds me tight in his strong arms and lets me shake out the debilitating fallout of my capture.

  “Charlotte.” He grips my arms, pushes me back gently, still holding me up. He swallows hard, lower lip trembling, tears in his eyes before he hugs me again. “Charlotte, you’re alive.” He sobs once into my hair, big hands tight and flat on my back. “It took us so long to track you, I was so afraid they…”

  I kiss his collarbone past the open fabric of his button up shirt and lean away, swaying but feeling stronger, smiling though I’ve been through so much. It’s intensely wonderful to see him, almost painful, and I touch his cheek with shaking fingers as he stares
down at me. “They tried their hardest,” I say, “but I’m not that easy to break.”

  He kisses me softly on the mouth, not a romantic gesture, but a loving and kindly one. “We have to hurry,” he says, suddenly nervous all over again, glancing back over his shoulder at the partially open door. “Can you walk?”

  I slip my spike into one of the pockets before sliding my arms into the sleeves of his coat, buttoning the front to cover my nakedness. I have to pull tight the belt around my narrow waist to keep the bulk from getting in my way. The reassuring weight of the spike in my hand as I retrieve it is all the strength I need.

  “Let’s get out of here,” I growl, heading for the door. The hall outside is more stone. We must still be in England somewhere, a castle, maybe? “How did you find me?”

  Piers hovers at my shoulder, the two of us slinking down the stone hall toward what looks like a set of stairs at the end. A bigger window shows me an elevated view of the darkened countryside. We must be in a tower of some kind, because the stairs are curved to the right when I reach them, descending down and out of sight.

  “We tracked you through Andre,” Piers says. “I convinced the others he was probably behind it, not Rupe. Or, at least, not alone.”

  I reach out and squeeze his hand. “Smart,” I say.

  Piers shrugs, gray eyes worried, staying close to me. “I just wish it hadn’t taken so long to find him. I’m sorry, Charlotte.” He looks away. “I can’t imagine what he did to you.”

  And he’ll never know. “It’s over,” I say. “And Andre will pay for what he’s done.” I must put this behind me, focus on the reason I’m here in the first place. “Where is Syd?” I try not to let my heart sink. If it was Piers who figured out where to find me, that means Sage didn’t find her after all. Which leaves the question: where is he?”