Russian Roulette (Helena Hawthorn Series Book 1)

by May Freighter

  Tucking her knees closer to her chest, Helena watched her getting closer. Breathe. Just breathe.

  The witch spoke as if talking to a wild animal. “I’m not going to hurt you, Helena. Tell us what happened.”

  “Don’t come any closer!” Helena warned.

  Madeline stopped advancing and exchanged looks with Vincent.

  “I shall leave you for now. If you require assistance, I will be waiting outside,” he informed them and closed the door behind him.

  This has to be another dream. Helena’s heart sank. She wanted to get out of this nightmare more than anything. Why wouldn’t Lazarus let her go?

  “Now will it be easier for you to talk?” Madeline eyed her with caution.

  Helena shook her head, not as an answer but to clear her mind. There has to be a way out! She scanned the room. The exit seemed to be through the doors behind Madeline. She couldn’t use that. On the other side stood Vincent. She had to be smarter than this. A plan was needed. She gulped down a breath to calm her racing heartbeat and shaking body.

  The woman lowered herself to the ground, making no sudden movements. She behaved as if it was Helena who was the dangerous one here. “Alright, I will start. I am Madeline. Vincent has contacted me to help you banish a demon that has been—”

  “I know!” Helena shouted.

  Her eyes narrowed around the edges. “And, how do you know this?”

  “I have met you in the previous dream. I won’t fall for it again,” she mumbled into her knees.

  “What else did this demon show you?”

  Helena buried her face in her palms. She wanted to cry, to scream, to do anything that would wake her from this endless nightmare. Why was this woman demanding answers again? Was this what Lazarus wanted, to replay the same day until she caved and gave up her soul?

  “Please, tell me what he showed you.”

  Helena peered at her through a gap in her fingers. Madeline hadn’t moved a muscle. She patiently waited for Helena’s answer.

  Trying to slow her frantic breathing, she took in another deep breath which made her want to cry more. “He showed me that I could trust no one in this nightmare, so I won’t start now.”

  Madeline seemed to think for a moment. She walked over to where Helena was huddled in a ball and knelt next to her, wrapping her thin arms around Helena’s trembling shoulders.

  “What are you doing?” Helena screamed, fighting her way out of her hold. It wasn’t hard, but the woman was persistent.

  Madeline took hold of her again and stroked her hair. Something her mother used to do when she was scared at night.

  “This is an illusion, a dream,” she repeated and cried into Madeline’s shoulder.

  The woman held her closer, brushing her hand through Helena’s tangled mess of locks.

  Once she managed to relax, Madeline took her hand and led her to the bed.

  Helena kept waiting for some cruel remark or a hint about the deal with a demon. None came.

  Madeline sat her on the bed and knelt in front of her. Large green eyes searched her face for something. “You are back in the real world. The demon’s hold has dissolved over you.”

  As much as she wanted to believe her, Helena couldn’t help doubts rising at the back of her mind. “Why would he let me go so easily?”

  Madeline rested on her haunches. “You were trapped for a week. It requires a lot of power to keep you in that state for that long. He must have exhausted his resources.”

  “He got tired?” Helena burst into laughter that mixed in with her emerging sobs.

  “At first, he had a strong hold on you. I’ve tried every spell I know, and I could tell we were running out of options. Then, you came back by yourself.”

  “But why would he be after me?” Helena demanded. She held no particular power if any at all.

  Madeline’s confusion reflected on her face, so Helena wiped away the tears with the back of her hand.

  “At least, I woke up dressed…”

  With her tears gone, she stopped to assess the woman. Her hair was a deeper, richer red than Helena remembered. She spotted an indistinct scar on the witch’s right brow that wasn’t there before. Even with that, she appeared as a beautiful middle-aged woman. Helena couldn’t understand why she was dealing with vampires and demons. “Why didn’t he take my soul?”

  “I have heard some demons require a contract with the soul-bearer to extract it. Some desperate people would give it away while others would rather see themselves dead. One thing is for certain, you were lucky to come out of this alive.”

  Helena hadn’t realised her hands were balled. She uncurled her numb fingers to find them tingling.

  “I see you’re getting better. I’ll leave for now as you will need some time alone to think things through.” Madeline smiled at her. “I live in Aberdeen. It isn’t far from here. I’ll come back for a visit and check on you.”

  With the grace of a swan, Madeline rose and fixed her skirt.

  Helena said nothing as she watched her leave. She was wary that at any moment things would change and her life would be threatened again.

  None of that happened. She was left to her own devices.

  Outside her room, Helena heard Madeline murmuring something to Vincent. Their two sets of footsteps headed away from her room. When everyone was gone, her shoulders slumped. She was finally left alone to get accustomed to the situation. What else was the truth and what was a lie?

  Her peace and quiet didn’t last long. There was a knock on her shields. She recognised the energy on the other side as Lucious’. She didn’t want to speak with him.

  His anxiety and worry vibrated the link. She nibbled on her lower lip, and fell back on the bed, relaxing against the soft sheets. To avoid speaking with him directly, she sent him a message, assuring him that she was fine.

  In return, he replied, “You cannot avoid me forever. We need to talk.”

  His energy left her as quickly as it came.

  Helena had no time to rest. She had to find Michael. Closing her eyes, she stood inside of her shields and called out his name until a figure materialised.

  “Michael,” she began, but her words stuck in her throat when he turned to face her. He looked like Death himself with dark rings under his eyes and pallid complexion. He even lost the shine around him.

  “What happened to you?” she choked out.

  “It has been a long week…”

  Helena’s heart jolted. “You look like this because of me?”

  If that was the truth, there was no one left whom she hadn’t managed to hurt—directly or indirectly. She held back a sob. She couldn’t cry when he was holding on to his pride.

  “I have been trying to protect you. I hate to admit it, but my power alone was not enough. Even when the witch arrived, both of us put together were no match for him.”

  She reached out to take hold of his hand. His skin was colder than she remembered. To warm it, she wrapped both of her hands around his chilled fingers. “I’m so sorry, Michael. I didn’t know something like this could happen.”

  He placed his free palm on her cheek, gently running his thumb over it. “It was not your fault. If anyone is to blame, it’s me.” He sighed and drew both of his hands back. “I have to tell you something, something that I’ve held back from you.”

  A bad feeling settled in her stomach at the remorseful tone he used. “What is it?”

  “Let’s sit down. This may take some time.”

  Helena visualised two armchairs for them and waited for Michael to settle. A moment later, he seemed to give up on finding comfort and knotted his fingers in his lap.

  “I will begin right from the start,” he said.

  Immobile with interest, she waited for him to continue. She knew this was important to him, otherwise, he wouldn’t show her such a grim expression.

  “In the late eighteenth century, I was assigned to observe a young woman who went by the name of Eva Valerijevna. I was permitted to co
mmunicate with her but never to help directly.”

  “Was she a saint?”

  “Yes.”

  She wanted to ask more. When she opened her mouth, he shook his head. “I cannot tell you about them.”

  “Okay… So you were Eva’s guardian? What happened then?”

  He visibly relaxed. “When I first met her, she was a young woman untainted by the darkness. Her soul was as pure as freshly fallen snow.” He hid his face from her by studying the floor. “I watched her day and night and nothing happened. Her life was peaceful, and the village people loved her. I was beginning to believe that my assignment was a mistake. Who would want to harm such a beautiful creature?” He paused. “But saints are never safe. When she birthed a daughter, her life changed.”

  Michael lifted his head, his eyes burning with the hatred she had never seen before.

  She swallowed. She knew such a strong emotion wasn’t directed at her once she understood he was looking through her. A memory he recalled had torn him away from reality.

  “As we entered a new century, the witch hunts began throughout Europe. The fear of magic and of witches soon spread to Russia.”

  “And she was one of them.” Helena knew where this was going.

  “Yes. She dedicated herself to healing and protection magic.” He drew in a deep breath. “In the end, it was not enough to save her. The news of the hunters spread to nearby villages and towns. That was when he appeared to her.”

  A sudden chill brushed past her at the image of Lazarus’ sharp teeth grinning back at her.

  “The demon offered her more power. The power to protect the Circle and those she held dear. Eva knew better than to fall into his grasp, and never accepted the offers he presented her with, no matter how bad the times became.”

  Michael held his trembling hands in a firm press, and his knuckles paled. His voice trembled with emotion. “That was true until the hunters arrived in her village. They caught two members of her coven whom they tortured and abused prior to their public execution. The demon kept pressing for an answer, telling lies that changed her, and I had to observe the outcome.”

  A glistening tear ran down his cheek, and Helena automatically reached out to wipe it away.

  He stopped her, an inch short of his face. “Please, listen to what I have to say first.”

  She withdrew her hand and gestured for him to continue.

  “A day came when her daughter went missing. The hunters were in the area, but Eva wouldn’t run. She kept on looking for her.”

  “That sounds like what happened in the first dream I had.” The panic Eva felt on that day never stopped haunting her.

  “It was not a dream but a memory. The demon in possession of her soul was able to locate you by making you connect with her. It worked out well for him. Something, I have missed out on. For that, I am sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault, Michael. You have always protected me. I am the one who gets into ridiculous situations, like the one I’m in now.” She sighed. “I could have taken my freedom. I could be at home with my family, forgetting that supernatural ever existed. Instead, I chose to save the vampires.” She gave a bitter laugh. “Who would have thought I’d be so generous with my life.”

  “You made the correct decision.”

  She raised a brow. Michael chose to side with her? His reassurances didn’t make her feel any better as the representation of her ill choices was right there, in the form of an exhausted guardian angel.

  He studied her with his clear, aquamarine eyes. “You don’t believe me?”

  Helena bit her lip. Eva was her complete opposite. That woman did her best for those around her. “I-I think that there’s no reason for you to guard me. I’m not one of those saints, nor am I special. I’m no Eva.”

  “Being the opposite of her doesn’t make you any less important to me. Even armed with caution and advice from her elders, she was not able to withstand the demon. He used his power to torture her, her loved ones, and her coven to the extent where she could no longer take it.”

  “Why did she accept the offer in the end?” That question was on her mind for a long time. If she was Helena’s ancestor, why did she take the deal? In her memories, Eva fought him to the end. What could bring such a strong-willed woman down?

  “Her daughter was taken by the hunters. No one knows how, but they thought Dominica was part of the Circle. Eva then made her final decision to submit to him.”

  Helena’s heart sank.

  “Eva sacrificed her soul to protect her daughter. She was a good person to the very end,” Michael said with pride.

  Helena agreed. They were the complete opposites. Where Eva fought for what she believed in, Helena ran as far as she could. She ran from Michael’s advice, wanting to fulfil her curiosity about her missing father. She avoided her mother and Richard to give them more room she thought they deserved. She even fled from Andrew’s side and abandoned him in the hands of strangers at the worst possible time.

  “I was unable to do anything to help many others since her. Always forced to observe and never permitted to intervene.” Michael’s hands covered his face.

  She watched him with an aching heart. What would it be like to have someone to guard and not be allowed to intervene? She shuddered at the thought. It would be too painful for her to bear.

  “When the demon reached your grandmother, I spoke to your mother in her dreams, urging her to find a new home for both of you.”

  Helena narrowed her eyes. “What are you talking about?”

  He drew his hands away from his face. As if he finished processing what he said, he sat up straighter. “I was mumbling.”

  “Don’t try to avoid the subject! What did you mean by that?”

  He ran his hand through his hair, pushing the long strands back. “I saw the intentions Richard had towards your mother, and I gave him courage. With that, he was able to get you two away from that cursed country and the demon lost track of you two.”

  She stood abruptly. “You got my mother and Richard together? Isn’t that prying too much into things?”

  “Would you prefer if I left your mother in the hands of that creature?” He stood to join her, lowering his voice. “Helena, this is not the time for us to fight. Please…”

  Michael was right. Even though he pushed the two of them together for his personal goals, he was trying to do some good. Where would she and her mother be if not for Michael? Her eyes grew wide as images of her dead mother flooded her mind. She would not hand her mother over to him. The demon could have her, but she would fight to her last breath to keep her family out of his clutches.

  “You’re right, I overreacted.”

  There was a loud knock on her shields. To her dismay, it was another man in her life that had more secrets than answers.

  Michael glared in the direction from which the knock came. “Him again.”

  “He’s worried.”

  “You shouldn’t be involved with that vampire. He has brought nothing but trouble with him.”

  Helena wanted to agree with him. She wanted to keep Lucious outside her shields and not have to face him, especially after their kiss.

  “Helena, are you listening?”

  She blushed. “Yes, sorry. What were you saying?”

  “Perhaps you should inform him of your wellbeing, if he is so concerned, and cut ties thereafter,” he suggested.

  Another loud knock made her jump. He was being persistent. She rolled her eyes and opened the shields for him to pass.

  Anger didn’t look good on Lucious’ face. Michael shifted closer to her side as Lucious crossed the threshold. To not risk anything getting in after him, she slammed the shields shut as tightly as she could.

  “Why have you not been answering me?” he demanded, marching over.

  Helena placed her hands on her hips. She was tired of his possessive behaviour. “I’m not obliged to answer. You don’t give me that pleasure, so why should I bother?”

  Luciou
s stopped, his eyes burning with the bright blue flame she had grown accustomed to. “Fine, my dear, do as you please. But answer me this, what in the Devil’s name has been going on for this past week? It was as if you were eaten by something.”

  Michael moved to stand in front of her, creating distance between her and Lucious. His tall frame had blocked her vision of the vampire. Squaring her shoulders, she pushed past him. Lucious wasn’t going to scare her, even if he was undead.

  Now that she was closer, she had a chance to study him. He didn’t look any better than Michael. Both of them were suffering on her account, and she could do nothing about it.

  Any normal human would wither under Lucious’ intense stare. She didn’t dare look away.

  “Helena, answer me.”

  “There is no need for you to listen to him,” Michael interrupted.

  She lifted her hand to stop Michael from protesting any further. “He needs to know. It’s affected him as well.”

  Helena waved her hand in Lucious’ direction which he caught and pulled her against him. The undercurrent of his scent filled her nostrils. Being this close made the odd sense of security resurface. She didn’t want to move, didn’t want to be separated from his hold. When she looked at his face, his features had softened and his eyes returned to their normal blue-brown.

  She smiled.

  “Let her go,” Michael ordered.

  “It’s alright, I’m—”

  Lucious didn’t let her finish. “First, I want to know what happened on this end of the link.”

  She fought her urge to bury her face in his chest. To take her mind off it, she whirled in his arms to face Michael. Lucious’ fingers caressed her right shoulder, and she shivered from the pleasant sensation.

  “Did you get a tattoo?” Lucious asked.

  She moved her head to see where he was touching her. “What are you talking about? What tattoo?”

  “There is one of a black nasturtium on your shoulder.” Lucious ran his fingers over her skin, outlining the shape, and let her go.

  With a bitter smile, she touched her skin where his hand was a moment ago. As she peered over her shoulder, she made out the outline of something dark and foreign being there.