Tribal (my misery muse)

by Brei Betzold

  “You too, Cris.”

  “You ready to do this?”

  She nodded, reached down, and grabbed her portfolio then stood. I led her back to my office shutting the door and hoping that nothing else went wrong today.

  Chapter 6

  Ash

  I walked into Pin’s Ink carrying Cait and keeping a tight grip of Jaks’s hand. He had a tendency of running away when we walked into the shop, and a rambunctious five year old in a tattoo shop wasn’t the best idea. I walked up to the desk where Jules and a new girl were standing. I could tell Jules was frustrated about something, but then again she’d been off for months now.

  “Jules!” Jaks screeched and tried to pull out of the death grip I had on his hand.

  Jules smiled down at Jaks. “Hey buddy.”

  “Mommy and Daddy are taking us to see the big scary fucking mouse,” he proclaimed. I turned my head into Cait and giggled, those were Seth’s exact words this morning when he whined about taking the kids to Chuck E. Cheese.

  I heard Jules strangle a choke and knew she was trying hard not to laugh. “Really?” she finally managed.

  “Yep,” Jaks said sounding solemn, “Daddy doesn’t want to go but Mommy told him if he didn’t she’d cut—”

  “Okay,” I said interrupting Jaks, “let’s go find Mommy, huh?”

  Jaks scrunched up his face at me. “But I was—”

  “Oh I’m sure Jules knows exactly what you were going to tell her, don’t you, Jules?” I asked giving her a pleading look. I’d already had a delightful conversation with him earlier about what balls were, and why Mommy was going to cut Daddy’s off.

  She took a deep breath trying to regain her composure. “Yeah sweetie, now why don’t you go on back into the drawing room, that’s where Mommy is.”

  “Thank you,” I mouthed and headed back to where the office and other rooms were located, while sneaking glances around. I didn’t know if I wanted to see Cris or not at this point. After this morning, I was unsure about where we stood. I liked being with him, he was fun, caring, and sweet, at least to me. Only I wouldn’t be lied to, and I was no one’s toy. I’d already been there with an ex, and I wasn’t going back. I liked to play like any other person, but what Cris and I had wasn’t a one night thing in some play room. We were, I thought, building a relationship, and I would be treated as an equal.

  “Mommy, Mommy,” Jaks screamed. “Let’s go see the big scary fucking mouse, come on.”

  I walked around the corner trying to hide my amusement when I found Jaks tugging on Devi trying to get her out of the chair. Also amusing was the look of exasperation on Devi’s face, probably because of the colorful language Jaks was using. I’d tried to curb it, but when he hangs out with Seth, X, Cris, Drake, Devi, Mags, and many others it soon became a losing battle. Luckily at this point, he hadn’t cursed at school yet, at least that we knew of.

  “Jaks, hold on, we have to wait for Daddy,” Devi told him.

  “Awww,” he whined and sat down in the chair pouting.

  “Has he been like this all day?” Devi asked.

  “Pretty much,” I said. “He didn’t fare well in school today either.”

  She nodded. “He always gets like this when Seth’s about to leave,” she mused.

  “Well at least this will be the last time for a while,” I said handing over Cait who wanted her mommy.

  “So,” I murmured glancing around.

  She sighed. “He’s interviewing someone for the body mod job.”

  I nodded.

  “Haven, remember I told you about her, she’s the one who did my nipples.”

  “Ah yes, she’s the one you want to hire?”

  “Yeah, but it’s not my call.”

  “I thought you bought in to the place?”

  “I did, but I don’t want to run it. I just want to make sure my job is secure. I don’t want to look for a new shop to work out of. Plus Cris is good at running the place, the only reason he’s run into problems is because the economy sucks.”

  I chewed on my lip. “I don’t think he shares that opinion?”

  “On me wanting to run the place? Or that he does a damn good job of it?”

  “Both,” I guess.

  “I know that, but he won’t listen to me, and I am done fighting with him over it. I don’t have the time to dedicate to running a shop, nor have I ever wanted to. He’ll figure it out eventually. I just hope I don’t strangle him before then.”

  “Daddy!” Jaks yells and I turn and see Seth standing in the door way.

  “Hey buddy,” he says grabbing Jaks before he runs into him, “how was school?”

  Jaks gets this scrunched up look on his face “I gots in trouble.”

  “Oh?” Seth asks.

  “I talked when I was supposed to be quiet.”

  Seth nodded. “Well we’ll have to work on that.”

  Jaks nodded solemnly. “Now can we go see the big scary fucking mouse? But Daddy, I don’t think he’s scary. I’ll hold your hand.”

  “Thank you, buddy,” Seth says while choking back laughter. “I’ll hide behind you.”

  “Okay, Daddy.”

  I walked out of the room following Jaks and Seth to find Sam and X standing in the front, I smile and wave hoping I could get away with that. Only to have X grab me and pull me into a hug.

  “Aw, it’s my favorite nanny.”

  “I’m the only nanny you know.”

  “No, you’re the only nanny who won’t sleep with me.”

  “That’s because I’m smart.”

  “Aw, you don’t have to be that way.”

  I shake my head at him. “Hi Sam.”

  “Hey Ash.” I watch as he dismisses me and follows Jules around with his eyes. I glance over at Devi and notice she’s watching too. I shrug, I have no idea what’s going on with those two if anything, and honestly, I have enough issues with my own personal life to get involved.

  I turn to say my good byes at the same time I notice Cris’s door open and a gorgeous woman with white dreads walks out followed by Cris; I couldn’t get out of there soon enough.

  Cris

  I walked out of my office and swept my eyes around the shop stalling when I saw Ash standing there with X’s arms wrapped around her. I wanted to go over there and rip his arm off then beat him with it. I took a deep breath and pushed the feeling away. She had said this morning that we were through, apparently she’d moved on, quickly.

  “This is where your room will be,” I pointed a room we had renovated for piercings, and other body modification work. I opened the door and showed Haven the dentist chair, along with the other equipment we had already purchased. “I didn’t want to buy more until I decided who I wanted to hire, then let them order what they wanted.”

  “Is there decent ventilation in the room?”

  I nodded. “Yeah we had one installed, a few of our candidates do branding.”

  “Yeah, I can do branding, I’m just selective on who I will perform it on.”

  “I don’t blame you there. That’s a long and painful process, from what I’ve heard.” The more I talked to Haven the more I had to agree with Devi, which in of itself pissed me off, but she seemed to be the perfect fit for our shop. She was well trained in multiple areas, as well as piercing.

  “It is, and I want to make sure that they’re up to it, especially since I am burning their skin with electricity. I don’t think I can think of anything worse than starting a branding then them turning around five minutes later saying that they can’t handle it, or they don’t understand the commitment and healing it takes.”

  “I’d prefer not to have branding in the shop, but if we do decide to, it will be a selective process.”

  She shrugged. “I wouldn’t have a problem either way.”

  We walked back into the shop where I noticed Cyn standing next to X and groaned. I wasn’t up for her shade of crazy today. I walked Haven back to the front letting her know that I’d contact her soon. I wante
d to sit down one last time and talk to Devi about the applicants before making a final decision, but I had a feeling Haven would be it.

  I turned around and found Ash glaring at me, standing beside a pissed off Devi and an equal mad Jules. I wasn’t sure what was going on but with the sly smile on Cyn’s face and those three glaring at me like I just ate the last chocolate bar in Dallas, I knew it wasn’t going to be good for me.

  Chapter 7

  Ash

  I heard the tinkling of the bells at the front door and when I looked back, I had to bite off a groan. Cyn sauntered in as if she owned the place. I knew Devi put up with her because they were cousins, and everyone else did because of Eli, but it didn’t change the fact she was an uppity bitch most of the time. She walked up glaring daggers at me and I couldn’t figure out why, then I remembered X had his arm around my shoulder. For some reason X kept Cyn around. He said it was because she was always willing to help scratch his itch. Though when she looked at women like she was looking at me when he flirted with them—and X flirted with every woman—I don’t think she got the memo of his intentions.

  I ducked out from under his arm and headed towards Sam; I didn’t want to be in the line of fire of her and X.

  She walked up and ran her hand from his chest to his groin. “Hi X,” she simpered and I rolled my eyes.

  “Hey Cyn,” he said then went back to talking to Sam and Seth, ignoring her. She ducked under his arm so it was around her shoulders then snuggled up to him.

  “So Ash,” Cyn said glaring at me, “isn’t it weird dating a guy that at one time was engaged to your boss?”

  I sucked in a breath. “What are you talking about?”

  “Oh you didn’t know? I’m sorry. I just thought that he would have told you, I’m sorry.” Her tone sounded contrite but I could see it in her eyes, she’d meant to hurt me.

  I looked around the group and all of them were staring at Cyn then at me, “Devi?” I asked quietly.

  “We were never engaged,” she said between gritted teeth. “Before Seth came home, Cris did ask me to marry him; he wanted to help me take care of Jaks. I told him no and nothing was ever said about it again. Which Cyn fucking knows.”

  I was pulled into a hug by X who was glaring at Cyn. “It was nothing,” he whispered in my ear. “It meant nothing. She’s just a backstabbing jealous bitch who’s trying to hurt you.”

  I nodded my head slowly, but if that was the case, if it meant nothing, why didn’t he tell me? Why would he tell me he cared about me, then keep something that everyone else knew, and someone would have eventually told me? I would have made sure I told him something like this first so he wouldn’t be sucker punched later.

  Cris walked up and I glared at him, I knew then after lying to me now this that he never looked at me as anything more than a plaything. I turned and smiled tightly at everyone. “I’m going to head out, night ya’ll.” Then I spun on my heel and marched out of his shop. I refused to let him know how badly he hurt me, humiliated me.

  Cris

  I walked up as Ash was slamming out the front door. I wanted to chase after her and find out what the hell was wrong but first I needed to know why she was so pissed off.

  “You’re a fucking idiot, Crispin,” Devi said between gritted teeth then she spun looking at Cyn. “And that was a bitch move. I’m done; I don’t need this stress right now.” I watched as she pushed through everyone while carrying Cait and bulldozed out the front door with Seth and Jaks chasing her.

  “Uhm…someone want to clue me in?”

  X glared at me then turned and glared at Cyn before he shook his head at her in disbelief. Then he took off in the direction of Max’s station I was even more confused.

  “Jules?”

  “Prick,” she muttered then spun around and flounced off.

  “Sam?”

  “Well, you screwed up.”

  “I got that, but how?”

  “It might have been helpful if you’d told the girl you’re dating that at one point and time you’d asked her boss to marry you.”

  I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. “How?”

  “Cyn told her, in a not so nice way.”

  My eyes snapped open just in time to see a pissed off Cyn walk out the door. I looked around and found X staring at Haven and sighed. Of course she wouldn’t be pissed or upset that she’d just fucked me up the ass sideways, no it’d be because X.

  “I was going to tell her.”

  “Shoulda, woulda, coulda, it’s all a little too late now,” Sam said.

  I nodded knowing he was right. “How do I fix it?”

  He snorted. “I have no fucking clue. I’ve got my own problems I can’t work out.”

  I turned and nearly ran into Haven. “Uhm, sorry,” I mumbled then headed to my office quickly.

  I grabbed my cell that was sitting on my desk and dialed Ash’s number, it went straight to voicemail. So I decided to text her instead.

  CRIS: I’M SORRY YOU FOUND OUT THAT WAY I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU.

  I waited for half an hour with no response. I let my head drop to my desk; I had really fucked this up.

  Chapter 8

  Ash

  I stormed into the house slamming doors behind me. I wasn’t sure who I was more pissed at—Devi for not telling me or for Cris for the same reason; you'd think that someone would have told me. Then again, it wasn’t exactly Devi's place to tell me that my boyfriend had once fucking asked her to marry him. No, that was all Cris. He should have told me, a long time ago.

  I marched into the kitchen and started grabbing things; I needed to do something before I drove back to Pin's Ink and beat the crap out of Crispin. What was that idiot thinking keeping something like that from me? I mean how stupid did he think I was? Then again, he let me look stupid in front of everyone, especially in front of that conniving bitch, Cin. I wanted to punch her in the throat. I wanted to kick Cris's ass. I wanted to fucking scream. Why do men feel the need to do this to me? Did they look at me and think hey, here's an easy mark, let’s just fuck her over.

  I went about banging things around the kitchen then focused on doing something, I lost myself in baking. I always went to baking when I was upset. It was safer than finding the person who pissed me off and beating the shit out of them. Instead, I took it out on dough, piecrust, and cookie dough. I don’t know how long I stayed in the kitchen baking, but soon Devi walked in and watched me like I was a caged feral animal.

  "So you're baking," she stated.

  "Yep."

  She sighed. "He should have told you. I didn’t realize he hadn’t told you."

  I jerked my head up and down and continued rolling out dough for cinnamon rolls.

  "I'm sorry; I don’t know what to say."

  "Not your fault, you didn’t propose, you didn’t knowingly keep it from me. I've had a lot of time to think, and it’s all on Cris."

  She let out a breath. "Good, I'm glad you don’t hate me. About Cris—"

  "Don’t."

  "But—"

  "No, he fucked up."

  She nodded. "He did."

  "He could have told me anytime over the past nine months, but did he? No never, and it’s not the first time he’s kept shit from me. I am done with it, if he can’t trust me to tell me simple things about his life, how can I trust him with larger issues?"

  She nodded again.

  "How can I trust him to tie me up and take a flogger to my skin? How can I trust him to fuck me without a condom? When he can’t even look at me and say hey so I once asked Devi to marry me. She obviously said no, and it’s in the past now."

  "Yeah," she said quietly.

  "But no, I didn’t get anything; instead I was humiliated being told something I should have known, by her no less."

  "You really don’t like Cin, do you?"

  I shook my head. "No, but I get it, she’s your cousin."

  "She is."

  "Cin's not even the point of this, it’s Cris. We f
ought earlier that day about him lying to me, now this? What else will I learn? I don't want a relationship where I learn his secrets, fears, likes, everything by other people.

  She nodded. "I can understand that."

  "So I'm done, finished, no more."

  "Uhm, if that’s what you want. Just a small piece of advice?"

  "Sure."

  "Don’t say never. Something may happen to change your mind; I've learned along the way to never say never. Also don't close the door until you at least hear him out, because if you do, it could be something you regret later on."

  She stood up and swiped a Mayan Chocolate Cookie off the counter. "Oh. My. God, these are amazing," she groaned after taking a bite. I watched as she made her way around the kitchen trying out the different things I'd made in the past few hours.

  "God, we're going to have to have people come over and help eat all this, or I am going to become the size of a house," she said then popped a shortbread in her mouth and moaned.

  "Just not Cris."

  "Yeah no Cris, not until you're ready to listen."

  I snorted. "So never?"

  "What'd I say? Never say never." Then she skipped out of the room.

  I sighed, and looked around the kitchen, I had gone a bit overboard with the baking, but it would all be eaten.

  Cris

  I stormed out of the shop in search of something. I wasn’t sure what until I ended up at the bar. It may not have been my most brilliant idea ever. After I don’t remember how many shots and beers, I was seeing double. So when two Xavier's showed up on the barstool beside me, I was a bit confused.

  "So you fucked up," X said.

  "That I did."

  "Why didn’t you ever tell her?"

  I sighed. "I don’t know if I can explain it."

  "Well try, because if you ever want to get her back you'll have to explain this shit to her."

  "Fine," I grumbled. "So Ash likes to play."

  "Okay," he said looking at me confused.

  "Like my kind of play."

  "Oh, okay got it."

  I nodded a little too vigorously nearly knocking myself off the barstool.