The Boy Who Could Keep a Swan in His Head
Page 25
“That’s a lot of bird.”
“I love swans.”
“I was imagining more of a sparrow. Still, swans are very peaceful and beautiful. And you have a huge mind. Less of a perch, maybe a small lake. Keep him paddling round serenely and you might be pleasantly surprised.”
“I’ll try.”
The curve of white climbed up the side of the building and presented itself as a giant polished and pockmarked ball. Spotlighted, everyone stood up and huddled together. Pal, excited and nervous, barked into the glow. The sound echoed then echoed again before spilling off the side and falling all twenty floors. The moon didn’t pause for long. Having made its point, it continued on its upward journey. The higher it moved, the more it flattened the concrete floor, giving what was already smooth a thin film of fluorescence. By the time they turned to go, the stairwell was a container of the purest light and each spiral incandescent and golden.
20
What I learned in my holidays
by Stephen Baxter
The first thing I learned in my holidays was that skin and bone and hair and teeth aren’t the things that last forever. I also learned that if you only believe the things you can see and touch, you are going to have a very small life. Funerals don’t have a proper ending but maybe that’s right – who knows if life on earth has one either? You can say amen as many times as you like, that doesn’t prove the dead person is actually gone. Maybe he’s just slipped backstage like Miss Delmont did in A Midsummer Night’s Dream. She was there, you could hear her, you just couldn’t see through the curtain.
I also learned heaven is what you need it to be. So my father is in the world’s biggest library and all the books have huge print. I hope they don’t allow tape recorders up there.
Everyone should read Hebrews chapter thirteen, verse two. I won’t say more than that.
Kindness always has a purpose.
Dogs love you all the time, no matter what. Mothers hug when they don’t know what to say and grandmothers bake.
We all have everything and its opposite inside us. Love and hate. Anger and calmness. Meanness and friendliness. Which one you choose to show the world is the proverbial sixty-four-thousand-dollar question.
Appreciate your ankles and elbows more.
Some people always come first, which is fine. But they don’t learn as much as those who are always knocked down. Provided those who are always knocked down always stand up again.
You don’t just die when you die. Many people are dead because they’ve stopped living. Their hearts have grown hard and cold. Like a chicken from the deep freeze that won’t thaw.
One of the most difficult things I learned this holiday was that my father’s death was a gift. He gave me a big space I can fill any way I want. The trick is to fill it, not fall into it. Beethoven filled his deaf space with beautiful music so that’s a good example to keep in mind.
If you want adventures, stay curious. Or you’ll end up with a constipated mind. Then, at the end of your life, you won’t be able to remember any of it.
People often don’t say what they mean. A man who likes chocolate isn’t always talking about Cadbury’s. Tongues don’t slip and cats don’t get them. I could go on and on.
I learned we should all study spirals more. You find them in everything from flowers and shells to staircases. The galaxy is a spiral and so is your life. See your birth as the centre and Monday to Sunday is what spins around it. Are you moving up or down? Well, that’s for you to decide. All I can say is even when it’s pitch dark it pays to keep climbing.
Also, as confusing as it sounds, tomorrow is just today in one day’s time. This means we should celebrate but not get impaled on the present. Time moves around and through you whether you like it or not. And that’s why we should not be superficial with the truth, because it’s always moving from somewhere on its way to someplace else.
I know everyone calls me Spaz or Stuttafords and I know why. But the other thing I learned at the end of the holidays is that those names are just part of the outer layer. Porky the Pig stutters, so everyone thinks it’s funny when real people do. It’s not. A friend suggested I put a bird in my head to see if it helps. I chose a swan. That’s something else people might laugh at. It’s a big bird but I’m managing to keep him calm, so maybe it’ll work.
Right now he’s swimming on a very still lake. The water is blue and the sun is shining off it. He has an orangey-red beak and black markings that look like make-up going towards his eyes. He looks like he’s just floating but you can’t see his feet working hard paddling underneath. His neck is like a question mark. That’s because he’s always asking me, “Have you lost the fear yet?”
Acknowledgements
The excerpts quoted on pp. 24 and 25 are from Ernest Hemingway’s The Old Man and the Sea (Charles Scribner’s Sons, 1952).
The lines reproduced on p. 33 are from In Cold Blood by Truman Capote (Penguin Books, 2017). Text copyright © Truman Capote, 1966.
On pp. 41–2 the poem quoted is Rudyard Kipling’s “The White Man’s Burden”, first published in The New York Sun on 10 February 1899.
The excerpt on p. 58 is from Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse, copyright © 2006 by Random House, Inc. Used by permission of Modern Library, an imprint of Random House, a division of Penguin Random House LLC. All rights reserved.
The excerpt that appears on pp. 73–4 is from John Le Carré’s The Spy Who Came in from the Cold (Victor Gollancz & Pan, 1963).
The excerpt on p. 86 is taken from The Tulip Tree by Kathryn Blair. Text copyright © 1976 Kathryn Blair. Permission to reproduce text granted by Harlequin Books S.A.
The lines from “Beasts of England” reproduced on p. 88 are from Animal Farm by George Orwell (Copyright © George Orwell, 1945). Reprinted by permission of Bill Hamilton as the Literary Executor of the Estate of the Late Sonia Brownell Orwell.
The lines quoted on p. 103 are from Lewis Carroll’s 1859 poem “The Willow Tree”.
On p. 109 the chorus of “Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin’” appears, from the musical Oklahoma!, written by Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II.
The lyrics quoted on pp. 136–7 are from “The Times They Are a-Changin’”, written by Bob Dylan. Copyright © 1963, 1964 by Warner Bros. Inc.; renewed 1991, 1992 by Special Rider Music. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. Reprinted by permission.
On pp. 169–71, lines from Robert Frost’s “The Road Not Taken” are quoted. First published in Mountain Interval (Henry Holt and Company, 1916).
William Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream (Act V, Scene I) is quoted on p. 198.
On pp. 245 and 246 Dylan Thomas’s poem “Do not go gentle into that good night” is reproduced, taken from The Collected Poems of Dylan Thomas: The Centenary Edition, published by Weidenfeld & Nicolson. Reprinted by permission.
The lyrics on p. 279 are from the song “Little Boxes”. Words and music by Malvina Reynolds. Copyright 1962 Schroder Music Co. (ASCAP); renewed 1990. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Every effort has been made to trace copyright holders and to obtain their permission for the use of copyright material. The publisher apologises for any errors or omissions in the above list and would be grateful if notified of any corrections that should be incorporated in future reprints or editions of this book.
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