Out Of The Ashes (The Ending Series, #3)

by Lindsey Fairleigh

  The pavement was rough under my feet, and every few steps a tiny rock would jab into my skin, but I hardly noticed. “Zo!” I called. “Zoeeeeeee!”

  I reached Zoe just as Jason released her. I threw myself at her, locking my arms around her neck and doing my own unique combination of laughing and crying.

  Her arms wrapped around me, and she hugged me so hard that she lifted me off my feet. She was laughing, I thought, until I heard the distinct, rare sound of Zoe giving in to tears.

  “Hey, D.” Her voice was a rough whisper. After another tight squeeze, she set me down and pulled away. Wiping the tears from her cheeks, she appraised my appearance and smiled. “Did I interrupt something?”

  “Huh?”

  “You’re all wet…” She glanced down. “And wearing a bikini.”

  I waved one hand dismissively. “I was getting Annie cleaned up—she’s a little girl I found yesterday when—”

  “I know, D,” Zoe said with a soft chuckle. “I remember.”

  I frowned, and then my eyes widened. For some reason that didn’t make any sense to the logical part of my brain, I’d assumed she didn’t remember any of the things “new Zoe” had experienced. In my mind, they were two different people.

  “Everything?” I felt a surge of shame.

  She nodded once before offering me a slight smile. “We can talk about it later.”

  Looking down at my feet, nearly rubbing a hole in the asphalt with my big toe. “Okay…”

  “Hey,” Zoe said, poking my shoulder, and I raised my eyes to hers. “Want some company down at the lake? I could use a little rejuvenation.”

  “Really?” I smiled wanly. “Yeah, okay. That’d be great.” I didn’t actually need to get back in the water, but I did need some alone time with my best friend. Perking up at the thought, I linked my arm with hers and tugged her in the direction of the lodge.

  “Um, D, the water’s that way.” Zoe pointed to the lakeshore beyond the parking lot on our right.

  “I know, but you need a swimsuit.”

  “But I already have a swimsuit…”

  “I know,” I repeated. “But camp is so far away—”

  “It’s just across the street…”

  “—and besides, you could use a new one. You’ve had that old green bikini forever.” I dragged her up the stairs to the lodge’s front porch. “And I know just where you can get one at a freemium price.”

  Zoe laughed as I pulled open the glass double doors. “You’re such a dork…I missed you.”

  I forced a smile and met Zoe’s eyes briefly. “Me too, Zo. Me too.”

  ~~~~~

  Zoe and I managed to splash around in the water for all of maybe a minute before running back onto the beach, screaming like little girls. Zoe stole my bottle of shampoo–conditioner–body wash and took an impressively quick “bath” using as little lake water as possible. When she finished, she took lurching steps up the beach and huddled in an oversized towel—also liberated from one of the shops in the lodge—beside me on the bright yellow hull of an overturned kayak. I was already snuggled cozily in my own towel.

  “So…still hate cold water?” I asked.

  Zoe shrugged. “Yes and no,” she said, wrapping her towel more tightly around herself. “But mostly yes.”

  “Zo, I—” I hesitated, closed my mouth, then took a deep breath and opened it again. “I know I probably could have been a better friend to her—you—” I shook my head and frowned. “To the other you…the not you you.” I stared out at the lake’s shimmering surface, squinting slightly from a thousand shards of reflected sunlight.

  “D…”

  “It was just…she wasn’t you. You weren’t you.” Again, I shook my head, irritated at myself for fumbling so much with my words. “But I should have treated you like I normally would have, and I didn’t, and I feel like such a jerkface.” I sighed. “I don’t think that made any sense.”

  Zoe laughed halfheartedly, ending in a sigh of her own. “It’s okay, D.” She stared down at her toes sticking out from beneath her towel. “It’s not like I knew any different anyway,” she said. “And it’s not like anyone else treated me like, well, me.”

  Except for Jake, I thought, recalling the handful of mornings I’d seen Zoe emerging from his tent recently. He seemed to have figured out a way to see her as the Zoe he’d fallen in love with. So why hadn’t I been able to do the same?

  Zoe closed her eyes and tilted her face up to the sun, basking in its warm rays. “Looks can be deceiving,” she said, her voice so quiet that I barely heard her. “Jake tried, but I knew the whole time that it wasn’t the same for him…as much as he wanted it to be.” She snorted and let her head fall back. “At least I know he prefers this me.”

  “Did you guys…you know…?” I asked, wiggling my eyebrows suggestively.

  Her head shot up, and she looked over at me, biting the inside of her cheek like she always did when she was anxious.

  “Oh my God, you did.” I giggled and blushed and really tried to stop, but I just couldn’t. “Wow, that’s just…wow. Talk about an awkward first time…”

  Zoe shook her head. “It wasn’t our first time, but it was a little awkward, at least for him.” She rested her cheek on her knees. “I think I sort of blindsided him…I’m not sure he would’ve done it otherwise. I felt sorta bad.”

  “Wait, what? When?” I waved my hand. “Don’t feel bad,” I said with a laugh. “I’m sure he didn’t mind.” I took a breath before babbling on. “But I was only gone for like a week…when the heck did you guys have time for hanky-panky—I mean, before?”

  “It was a pretty crazy week.” Zoe shrugged. “It’s not like it was planned, but it happened the morning we left for the golf course. In fact, Jason had just come out to tell me—”

  “Hold on,” I said, raising a hand. “Your brother found you when you were having sex with Jake…?”

  She barked a laugh. “God no! But I guess it was a little bit of a close call.”

  I snorted, then doubled over in laughter. “Oh my God,” I gasped. “Could you imagine…”

  “Ah, no, thank you.” She shook her head and groaned. “God, that was such a horrible week. Jason was a mess, Jake and I were barely speaking after Becca showed up…we’d finally gotten our shit together, and then I had to run into Clara…”

  “And your mom,” I said softly, sneaking a glance at Zoe.

  “Yeah, and there’s that. I’m not sure I’m ready to talk about that yet…I don’t know what to think.”

  I leaned in, nudging her shoulder with my own. “No prob, Zo. But you know I’ll be here whenever you’re ready.” I wrapped my arm around her waist and rested my head on her shoulder. A few wet strands of her dark hair stuck to my face, and I blew them away. “Your hair is crazy long.”

  I could feel the muscles and bones in her shoulder shift as she strained to look down at me. “You want to cut it off for me?”

  Raising my head slowly, I pulled away from her, staring at her with eyes widened by shock. Zoe’d had long hair the entire time I’d known her. “Shut the front door! What did you just say to me?”

  She smiled, clearly amused. “I could use a change,” she said. “And it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while.” She shrugged a single shoulder. “But if you don’t want to…”

  “Oh my God, shut up. I’m totally doing it. I’m going to cut off your hair!” I squealed, clapping my hands together like a wind-up monkey. Almost as long as I’d known Zoe, I’d been bugging her to give shorter hair a chance, knowing she would look amazing. Now she would look amazing and it would be so much more practical. “This is going to be so much fun! Eeek…I’ve got so many ideas. We could do a bob, like this long”—I held my hand up to my chin—“or maybe—”

  “Not a bob,” she said adamantly. “Not like hers.”

  I pressed my lips together and studied her face. “Okay, got it. Not like your mom’s.” I raised my eyebrows. “Oooh…what if we did, lik
e, an A-line cut, just touching your shoulders and a little longer in the front? It’d be short enough to not get in the way so much, but still versatile and—”

  “Alright, D,” she said with a rueful smile. “I trust your judgment.” She unfurled her body and rose to her feet. “I saw a pair of scissors in the swim shop. I’ll go grab ’em.”

  “Okay.” I narrowed my eyes. “But you better not back out…”

  “I won’t,” she said, shaking her head. “I asked you, remember?” And with a smile, Zoe jogged toward the trees separating the beach from the parking lot behind the lodge. I stared after her until I could no longer see her.

  Exhaling heavily, I slid down the side of the kayak and settled on the sand, pulling my knees up against my chest and rewrapping the towel around myself so all but my head and toes were covered.

  Zo’s really back. Joy swelled in my chest until I thought I might burst, spilling down my cheeks in the form of happy tears.

  She’s really back…my Zo. Smiling and crying silently, I stared out at the lake and simply felt happy.

  Zoe returned a few minutes later, placing a pair of scissors and a brush on top of my upraised knees before sitting on the sand in front of me, her back to me. “Have at it, D. And for God’s sake stop crying.” But she said it with a smile evident in her voice.

  I freed my arms from my terrycloth straightjacket and wiped away the wetness coating my cheeks. “I know, I know…I’m such a crybaby.”

  “It’s alright, D. That’s why I love ya.”

  I cleared my throat and moved the scissors and brush to the sand beside me before shifting my legs so I was sitting cross-legged. I straightened my back and started brushing the tangles out of Zoe’s ridiculously long hair.

  “Ow,” she said when I tugged on a particularly stubborn snarl.

  Breathing out forcefully, I said in a sing-song voice, “Which is precisely why we’re cutting it…”

  We fell into companionable silence while I continued to brush. Minutes passed with only the sound of dogs barking in the distance and seagulls cawing overhead.

  “So,” Zoe said, drawing out the word. “How have you been sleeping?”

  I paused mid-stroke. “Why are you asking me when you already know?” I said softly.

  “Because I’d like you to tell me.” She paused. “I don’t want to snoop…unless I have to.”

  I finished the stroke, then started to part her hair down the middle. “I thought you couldn’t help it…”

  Zoe started drawing shapes in the sand to the right of her. “I guess it’s different now. I can shut it off a lot easier, thank God.”

  I sighed in agreement. “Seriously.” I quickly added, “No offense.”

  “You should’ve told someone about drifting, Dani.” Zoe’s voice was harsher than I’d expected, but not harsher than I deserved. “If I hadn’t known…”

  Setting the brush down on my knee, I smoothed Zoe’s hair down her back and picked up the scissors. “I know.” I closed my eyes and shook my head, wishing I could make the weeks of drifting disappear so I no longer had to remember how good it felt. “Believe me, I know. I’m just lucky that you were still looking out for me, even if you weren’t really you while you were doing it.”

  I put the scissors down on my other knee and wrapped my arms around Zoe’s shoulders, pressing my cheek against her wet hair. “Thank you for saving me.”

  Zoe cleared her throat. “Please just promise me you’ll tell me if you need me…if you can’t do it on your own, or if Jason nulling you doesn’t help…” She swallowed loudly. “I can’t lose you, D.”

  I nodded, messing up the smooth, damp curtain of hair I’d so carefully arranged down her back. “I promise,” I told her before pulling away and picking up the brush again to straighten out her hair.

  Minutes later, I’d snipped off over a foot of hair and was setting in to evening out what would eventually be a decently fashionable, yet practical, shoulder-length haircut. I paused and peeked over her shoulder so I could see the side of her face. “Do you want to see how much I cut off?”

  “I don’t know, do I?” she asked rhetorically.

  I picked up a chunk and tossed it over her shoulder so it landed on the sand in front of her.

  “Holy. Crap. That’s like a foot and a half…”

  I laughed. “I know, right?” Under my breath, I grumbled, “Now, if I could only get Vanessa to let me chop off that rat’s nest she calls hair…”

  Zoe snorted and started to turn her head to look over her shoulder at me.

  “Hold still, Zo…unless you want a funky asymmetrical hairstyle.”

  “Oh, sorry.” She faced forward again. After a long pause, she asked, “So, has Carlos told you anything about them?”

  I frowned. “Such as…?”

  “I was just curious if he shared his story with you, is all…what happened to his sister and Annie…and his brother.”

  My frown deepened, verging on scowl territory. “Jesse? No, not really. Before yesterday, I knew he had a sister…but that’s about all I knew about his family.” I shook my head slowly.

  “Maybe you should ask him about it. I’m sure he could use someone to talk to.”

  “You won’t tell me?”

  Zoe shook her head, and I had to retrieve the brush to straighten her hair out…again.

  “Please, Zo…pretty please,” I said, my voice purposely whiny.

  “If you really want me to, I will, but I think you should talk to him about it first. It’s not really my place, ya know?”

  I nodded and, realizing she couldn’t see me, said, “Yeah, okay.”

  As I finished Zoe’s haircut, my mind whirled with possible scenarios for how Vanessa and Annie had ended up living with a pack of wolves and wild dogs in the mountainous woods to the east of Lake Tahoe. Whatever the actual story ended up being, I was certain it wouldn’t be good.

  ~~~~~

  “Hey,” I said as I approached Carlos. He, Vanessa, and Annie were sitting at a picnic table just outside the stable, snacking on beef jerky and packaged cheese and crackers. The trio had been easy enough to find, what with Annie’s mind being one of the few human minds I could actually sense.

  “Thanks for taking care of everything,” I told him.

  Looking up, Carlos nodded. He finished chewing before asking, “How’s Zoe? Is she really back to normal?”

  I laughed softly and swung my leg over one side of the picnic table to straddle the same bench Annie was sitting on. “She’s good. Really good.”

  Carlos was sitting directly across from me, keeping a close eye on his sister, whose hands were still bound, but not so restrictively that she couldn’t feed herself. His features were drawn, making him look older and wearier than I’d ever seen him. He’d been keeping his distance since we first arrived in Tahoe; I’d assumed it was because of the unexpected appearance of his sister, but now I suspected it was more than that. Though we were a few miles from the place that had hosted what was undeniably the most traumatic month of his life, we were pretty damn close. It would’ve been stupid to think his proximity to that place wouldn’t dredge up painful memories…wouldn’t haunt him.

  “So, how are you doing?” I asked tentatively. “Being back here and all…?”

  Carlos lowered his eyes, looking at the ground beside the table. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  The wind shifted, and I caught a whiff of the delightful odor that was so distinctly Vanessa’s. I wrinkled my nose.

  “You don’t have to stay with us,” Carlos said, meeting my eyes then glancing at his sister. “I know it’s not the, uh, nicest place to be right now…and you should be with Zoe.”

  I raised one shoulder and half smiled. “It’s cool. I got her all to myself for the first few hours. It’s time to share.” I shifted my attention to Annie, who had processed cheese product smeared all over the lower half of her right cheek.

  She grinned at me, still gnawing on a piece of dried and salted
meat.

  Pressing my lips together in a disapproving line, I said, “You’re a mess, you know that?”

  Annie nodded enthusiastically.

  I snorted and rolled my eyes. “What am I going to do with you?”

  Setting the remainder of her half-eaten jerky on the table, Annie declared, “Full!” She squirmed off the bench and ran toward the three canines—two wolves and one dog—who were lounging in the woods nearby. They were precisely the reason I’d left Jack back at the lodge with Jason, who was, once again, meeting with Holly and Hunter.

  “Don’t go far,” I told Annie, then repeated the same command to the canines, adding a request that they keep her safe and bring her back before dark. All the members of Snowflake’s pack were protective enough of Annie—young two-legs, as they called her—that I knew she would be safe with them, and more comfortable than if I forced her to be around the other human members of my group.

  When I turned back to Carlos, I found him watching me. “You’re not gonna go after her?”

  I shook my head, frowning the tiniest bit. “They’ll keep her safe, and she’ll come back…even if she doesn’t want to.”

  “Listen, Dani…” Carlos hesitated briefly. He stared down at the uneven wooden surface of the table. “Annie’s not your responsibility. You don’t have to take her in and, you know, be her mom or whatever…not if you don’t want to.”

  “I don’t mind,” I said, pretty sure I meant it. “It’s not like there’s anyone else really cut out to take care of a kid like her. Except for Ralph, I suppose…” I shrugged.

  Carlos’s brow furrowed. “Well, you don’t have to, so if you change your mind, I’ll—” He took a deep breath, then sat up straighter as if the breath had given him strength, helped him decide. “I’ll take care of her.”

  Now, why the hell would he say that? I studied the handsome young man with world-weary features sitting across from me, feeling nothing but compassion and sympathy and the kind of love I felt for Zoe…and one hell of a dose of curiosity. “Who is she, Carlos?” She had to be someone to him, based on what Zoe had implied.