I gave him a halfhearted thumbs-up. “Awesome.”
“Don’t worry, D, it’ll be worth the wait. This place is pretty damn sweet.”
“Awesome,” I said, more genuine this time.
Ky’s focus shifted to Annie. “I’ve got somethin’ for you, kiddo,” he said as he pushed the screen door open and walked out onto the porch, one hand held behind his back. I couldn’t stifle the tiny twinge of fear caused by not knowing what was in that concealed hand.
Stop it, I told myself, forcing a smile. We don’t know anything for sure, and besides, he has no reason to hurt Annie or me. But after Sarah…I couldn’t not think about it.
Giggling, Annie tugged on my hand again, and this time, I let her go. “What?” she asked as she ran up the stairs. “Present?” We still hadn’t moved beyond one-word sentences most of the time, but at least her spoken vocabulary was growing more varied.
Ky grinned down at the little girl practically bouncing with excitement right in front of him. “Does ‘Mr. Potato Head’ mean anything to you?”
Annie shook her head.
“Well, kid…you’re in for a surprise.”
I laughed softly as I watched Ky crouch down to Annie’s level and present her with the way-too-big-to-be-a-potato toy and Annie examine the thing with serious intensity. “Can you keep an eye on her for a bit?” I asked Ky. “I want to check on Carlos…and Vanessa.”
Ky nodded. “Harper’s with them in the barn, cleaning up the damage caused by this little monster.” He ruffled Annie’s wet, blonde hair.
Annie swatted his hand away absentmindedly, frowning as she figured out how to open the latch on Mr. Potato Head’s rear end to get to the goodies rattling around inside.
When Ky noticed me lingering, he made shooing motion. “Go. I got this.”
Smiling my gratitude, I turned away from the porch steps and headed toward the cluster of farm buildings surrounding the roundabout. I’d yet to explore anything, only having come back to the roundabout—where we’d left the horses in all the Annie–Vanessa hubbub—to retrieve soap, towels, and clean clothes for Annie and myself before washing up in the creek.
The horses were all gone; a quick telepathic scan told me they were in the pasture on the far side of the driveway, along with the goats. The cart and wagon had been parked haphazardly between the cottage and a large, well-kept old barn. There was also a stable on the opposite side of the roundabout from the barn, and a long building, whose function I wasn’t quite sure of, between the two.
Making a mental note to explore everything thoroughly later, I hurried toward the barn. Both of its double doors had been slid open, likely to let in as much daylight from the bright, spring sunshine as possible, but to my eyes, the interior looked completely dark aside from dozens of tiny lights glowing like stars near the ceiling. As I neared the doorway, I stared up at the crisscrossing strings of twinkly lights in confusion. Carlos had to be powering them, which made sense; what didn’t make sense was why they were there in the first place.
Only when I stepped inside and lowered my eyes did I begin to understand. A handful of tables—maybe a dozen—were set up deeper in the barn, draped with pale tablecloths and set with centerpieces of withered flowers in shades of yellows, oranges, and browns. It took me a few seconds to realize that the farm must have rented out the barn as a wedding venue to make some extra money—and from the looks of it, there’d been a wedding right before the outbreak, and they’d never had a chance to clean up afterward. Or the wedding never happened…
The site was eerie, a haunting echo of the way the world used to be. For some reason, those tables and chairs, covered in a layer of dust and still set up for a celebration that may never have happened—a celebration whose attendants may very well all have died in the last six months—were far more unsettling than the idea of the dead couple being evicted from their farmhouse just a short ways behind me.
I heard a whistle, and snapped my head to the right, my heart beating double-time.
“Didn’t want to startle you,” Harper said with a casual wave.
He, Vanessa, and Chris were sitting at the right-most table, Harper’s chair turned to face Vanessa, and Chris’s right behind her. Carlos was leaning against the wall beyond the table.
With a smile, Harper returned his attention to Vanessa, wiping a cotton swab over the scratches on her neck. I was about to join them when I heard approaching footsteps crunching in the gravel behind me.
“There you are,” Zoe said as I turned around. She had a swaddled infant in either arm and looked the picture of the quintessential exhausted new mom…except for the part where she wasn’t a new mom, or a mom at all. “Here,” she practically groaned in relief as she unloaded one of the slumbering babies into my arms. “I need a break from double-duty.”
“Um…okay,” I said, accepting the warm little bundle. “Which one is this?”
“Ellie…pink blanket,” Zoe said. She readjusted Everett in her arms and, turning, started walking toward the corner of the barn, away from the driveway and farmhouse.
I watched her walk away for a few steps, then looked down at the tiny little person I was suddenly holding.
“D,” Zoe said. “Are you coming?”
Only when I looked up again did I realize she’d stopped and was watching me, apparently waiting for me to accompany her. I caught up with her, moving slowly so I wouldn’t wake the newborn, and we rounded the corner of the barn in silence.
“So…I’ve been thinking,” she said. “I really think we should tell Biggs the truth.”
“Zo—”
She skewered me with guilt-filled eyes. “He can’t be a Monitor, right? So what’s the harm in—”
“Dani!” Annie shrieked as she ran around the corner of the barn, just a short ways ahead. “Look!” She came to a skidding halt in front of me and held up Mr. Potato Head—the poor guy had arms for eyes, an ear for a mouth, and sunglasses and a mustache growing out of the right side of his body—just as Ellie stirred in my arms and started to emit a stuttering wail.
“Fabulous,” I muttered.
31
ZOE
MAY 28, 1AE
The Farm, California
It was first thing in the morning and I’d already been awake for a few hours, tending to the needs of my demanding charges. I was in the kitchen, Annie and Sam eating their morning cereal while I made my third cup of coffee.
“Hey,” Jake said as he walked into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around me.
“Howdy.” I poured a generous cup of coffee for me, a little bit in a spare mug for Jake, and then more in mine, deciding I needed it more than he did. I’d learned to take advantage of every free moment I had without the twins, which meant eating, drinking coffee, and sleeping as much as I could were fair game.
Annie smiled at Jake, but soon a full-fledged grin engulfed her face. “Babies!”
“Babies?” Jake said.
After taking a much-needed sip of coffee, I turned around to find Camille walking away, leaving Jake with Everett in his arms.
Sam stifled a laugh, while Annie burst out in a bout of giggles that woke the infant Jake held awkwardly against his chest. Fussing and screaming ensued. Amused, I watched Jake as he stared down at Everett like he was wondering what the hell to do with something so tiny and loud.
Shifting Everett, Jake held him out away from his body. “Something’s wrong with him.”
I laughed. “Something’s always wrong; he’s a baby.”
Jake stared at Everett a moment longer before tucking him into the crook of his arm. He glanced up at me, and I quickly looked away, pretending I was focused more on cleaning up my coffee mess than on Jake’s discomfort.
Everett’s face reddened and his screams grew louder by the moment.
“Maybe he’s too hot,” Jake said, and he began to unwrap Everett’s blanket from around him.
“He doesn’t like it when you remove his blanket,” I said as I put the coffee
grounds back in the cupboard. “I think it’s a comfort thing.”
Jake raised Everett up to his chest and began to pat his back.
“He doesn’t like that either; it makes him gassy.”
Jake frowned. “Well, what does he like?”
Annie and Sam were laughing at him again, no longer making any attempt to stifle their amusement.
“You two think this is funny?” Jake said with feigned irritation. When their laughter only grew more boisterous, Jake smiled. “Sabotage,” he grumbled.
Taking pity on him, I set my coffee mug on the counter and took a step closer. “Here, I’ll take him,” I said.
With gratitude emanating from him, Jake unloaded the infant into my arms.
Like usual, I began rocking Everett in a steady swing, instantly taking his screams down to fussy gurgles and grunts. “You know, even though that was probably the most awkward interaction I’ve ever witnessed, it might’ve been the most precious thing I’ve ever seen, too.”
“Really…” Jake said dryly.
I nodded and went back to the counter, simultaneously rocking Everett while I grabbed Jake’s cup of coffee. “Here ya go,” I said, handing it to him.
Collecting my own mug, I held it up to Jake’s. “Bottoms up,” I chirped. All I needed was a few moments to let the caffeine kick in and I’d be ready for another day of nannyhood.
~~~~~
Sitting in one of the rocking chairs on the farmhouse porch and holding a swaddled, contented Ellie, I basked in the early afternoon sunshine, trying not to fall asleep myself.
Abruptly, the front door was flung open, and Annie scurried out. Sam exited the farmhouse directly after her with a slam of the screen door. Ellie started, but thankfully she didn’t start crying.
When Sam noticed us tucked away in the corner, his eyes widened. “Sorry, Zoe. I didn’t know you were out here.”
I nodded down at Ellie. “All the noise and voices inside were making her anxious.”
Sam walked over, staring down at the baby. “Becca said they’re important.”
My eyebrows rose. “Did she?”
He nodded, and I knew Becca must’ve been alluding to more than the sentiment we all had for the babies already.
“I’m not sure why, but that’s what she said.” Sam gently brushed a wisp of silky, soft hair from Ellie’s forehead, an image of his baby sister flashing through his mind, then he turned and headed back to the porch steps.
“Where are you two off to?” I asked as I resumed my rocking.
“We’re gonna play!” Annie sang as she began jumping up and down, clapping her hands.
I couldn’t help but smile at her enthusiasm. “I wish I could play,” I said. “But I have Ellie duty.”
Annie’s face scrunched up, and she stopped jumping. “You look too tired to play.”
The smile fell from my face. “Gee, thanks, Annie.”
“You should take a nap,” Sam called behind him as he jogged after Annie, who’d done a Tasmanian devil spin and sprinted toward the barn.
I was tired, but there was little I could do about it. I was still in a constant state of emotional exhaustion—but not physical exhaustion, which was what I missed. It had been three days, and Biggs was already doing better, his mind no longer the toxic mess it had been the first couple of days. But despite his improved mental state, it was still up to Auntie Zoe to tend to most of the twins’ needs, and they didn’t care if I was eating, had my hands in mud, or had just fallen asleep.
Regardless though, Biggs, Ellie, Everett, and I had found a temporary, affable routine that helped a little bit with my sanity. All it took were a few days of sink-or-swim, trial-and-error situations, and I was settling into my new job title surprisingly well. I understood the twins more—their quirks, their personalities—making it easier to be preemptive with their bottles and their naps and the noises they liked, disliked, and absolutely hated.
Ellie was the more even-tempered of the two, but whenever she did become fussy, rapidly blinking my eyes and talking to her like she was the cutest little baby in the world and I was going to eat her up seemed to forego complete tears and bloodcurdling screams.
Everett, on the other hand, was grumpy—a definite crier. He didn’t like to be left alone, and he didn’t like it when Tavis entered the same room as him. Everett also didn’t like his diaper changed or the sound of his sister’s crying or his bottle being too hot or too cold…he didn’t like much of anything. So, as long as I remembered all of that and rocked them both while they were awake, they were content…mostly…sometimes.
Ellie cooed, and I looked down at her. Her wide blue eyes brightened with the golden glow of the sunset as she watched me, slobbering and mauling her incredibly soft, tiny hand. “We should make a date of this, you and I,” I said, wiping a string of drool from her cheek. “You like sunsets just like your auntie, don’t you?” Ellie’s only response was a grunt and a spastic kick of her feet.
Hearing approaching footsteps from inside the house, I looked at the screen door just as it opened. Biggs stepped outside onto the whitewashed porch with a small smile on his drawn face as he peered down at Everett, who was nestled in his arms. “Hey, Warden,” he said to me as he lowered himself into the rocking chair beside mine.
“Not the warden thing again,” I grumbled.
Biggs shrugged. “Hey, it’s not my nickname for you, it’s your brother’s. I asked him where you were, and he said the ‘warden’ was outside. Did you really kick them out of the dining room earlier?”
“Of course I did. I was in there with Ellie, minding my own business, and Jason and Harper sauntered in and asked me to draw up a diagram for them.”
“What’s wrong with that?” Biggs resituated Everett against his chest.
“Nothing, until they started bickering about projects that need to be done and who needs to do what, and then they woke up the baby.”
“Oh.”
“I asked them to leave, nicely,” I added.
Biggs lifted his eyebrows and tilted his head a little to the left. “Yeah?”
I rolled my eyes. “Mostly.”
Biggs smirked and leaned closer to gaze down at Ellie, whose eyes shifted to his lazily before she yawned, making me yawn in turn. “How’s her sneezing today?”
“She’s doing just fine,” I said. “We soaked up some vitamin D this morning while I was drawing the farm layout for Grayson. If she’s anything like her Auntie Zoe, she’ll be better in no time. Sunshine’ll fix anything.” I offered Biggs a reassuring smile.
I was so relieved by the fatherly love he now felt for the twins. I was a good enough standin for a few days while he got his shit together, but the twins needed their father. He’d finally realized that they were all he had left of Sarah, and Sarah would’ve expected him to step up and love them the way they deserved to be loved.
“Thank you,” he said quietly, staring out at the farm. Sam and Annie were playing with Jack and Cooper on the overgrown lawn beside the house. “I know you didn’t ask for this role, and I honestly don’t know what would’ve happened to my children if you hadn’t stepped in.” Biggs shook his head. “I’m so ashamed of myself for acting the way that I did. I can’t believe I blamed them…”
Hearing his self-deprecating speech made me nauseous with guilt. He still had no idea what had really happened. He had no idea that all of this was my fault…mine and Jason’s. “You were a wreck, Biggs. I don’t blame you,” I said. “I loved Sarah, too, and I wanted to help—I want to help you in any way that I can.” I owed him that much.
Staring down at Ellie, I gave her a big smile and said, “Everything takes time, but we’re getting there…we’ll be just fine.” Ellie’s eyelids began to close, and as I tucked her blanket more tightly around her, I yawned again.
“You should go get some rest,” Biggs said. “I’ll take them for a bit.”
I shook the sleepiness from my mind as I covered another yawn with my hand. “I’m not sure why I
’m suddenly so tired.” My stomach growled. “And hungry.” I looked at him. “When was the last time anyone ate?”
Biggs shrugged again, distracted as he bent down and scooped Ellie from my arms.
Taking my cue, I rose from the rocking chair, stretched, and then groaned, thinking how wonderful it sounded to crawl into bed for a couple hours. But then my stomach growled again. “I guess I’m going to make some lunch before I get any sleep.”
Biggs nodded. “It’s up to you…you get a free pass for the afternoon.”
“Thanks, Biggs.” Opening the screen, I padded into the house, hearing scraping and banging in most of the rooms as everyone was getting settled. At least we were finally moved into the farmhouse and had a proper space to take care of the twins.
Walking into the enormous, bright kitchen, I stopped short. Other than the coffee I’d made sure to unpack and a few boxes of cereal, our food was still in boxes on the moss-green granite island in the center of the room. Without Sarah, it looked like any sort of cooking or culinary organization had completely ceased. Where the hell is Becca? She’d become Sarah’s helper over the months, and I’d expected to find her in the kitchen, organizing and cooking in Sarah’s place. But she wasn’t there, and now that I thought about it, I realized I hadn’t seen her all day.
If the Farm truly was our new home, we needed to settle in, and if we were going to do that, we needed to reestablish a routine. With so many of us, we needed some sort of schedule; otherwise we’d be so lost in our myriad of to-dos that nothing would ever get done. We needed group meal times and togetherness, and for that we needed a cook. While I was a miserable excuse for one, I was a better choice than some of the others. Hoping Becca would be willing to help me, I decided I would seek her out and beg for her help.
Searching the ranch, I found everyone busy, in the midst of some chore or another. Mase was chopping firewood near the outdoor brick oven on the lawn area, while Camille stacked the pieces in the storage space beneath it, but there was no sign of Becca. I passed by an old shed, where Jake was wrenching on something, and poked my head inside.
He glanced up at me. “Hey.”
Out Of The Ashes (The Ending Series, #3) Page 38