I offered him a tired smile. “You hungry?”
“Always,” he said. I leaned forward, and after he met me halfway, I gave him a peck on the lips. “I’ll find your sister and make us all something to eat.”
“Sounds good.” He turned his attention back to the machine sitting on the table, and I continued on in my search for Becca.
I made my way through the stable and then into the storage barn, where I stumbled across Dani as she mucked out the goat pen. I couldn’t help but smile at the sight of her curls escaping from her braid and the dirt smudged on her cheeks.
“Hey, Zo,” she said, a grunt immediately following as she shoveled old food and manure and wet hay from the ground. “You look like crap.”
I smiled at her. “Awe. You’re so sweet.”
Dani barked a laugh. “How are the twins? Are they finally asleep?”
I tilted my head to the side. “Nope, but I left them with Biggs.” I suddenly remembered how low we were getting on formula. “Oh, I gotta remember to tell H to get more formula next time you guys head into town…we should be fine until then, I think…” My thoughts began to wander.
Dani stopped shoveling and straightened. Brushing a wisp of hair from her face, she leaned against the shovel she’d wedged into the dirt. “Everything’ll be fine, Zo. You’re doing a great job.” She offered me a reassuring smile.
“Yeah…” I glanced around at all the clean animal pens. “It looks like you’re making headway. Sorry I haven’t been much help. I’m actually surprised you’ve been able to do so much with Annie running around like the crazy little banshee she is.”
“Sam’s a lifesaver,” Dani said with an exhausted sigh. I was really proud of her for adapting to the survivor lifestyle as well as she had. I barely remembered the girly, dolled-up Dani I’d known growing up. Our little farm seemed to be giving her a sense of purpose, which I could understand, and I could tell by the revived glint in her eyes that she was happy here.
“Have you eaten at all?” I asked, wondering how long she’d been working without a break.
“Umm, no, not really. I sort of forgot.”
I shook my head. “Tsk. Tsk. It’s nearly noon.”
Dani’s eyes narrowed, and she cocked her head to the side. “Have you eaten?”
With a laugh that sounded almost like a sob, I rested my fists on my hips. “Touché, D, touché.” I shook my head. “I’m actually planning on whipping something up for everyone right now. You seen Becca at all?”
“Nope, but then again, I’ve sorta been in my own world all morning.”
“Animal chatting?”
Dani only gave me a guilty smile and wrinkled her nose. “But no drifting, I promise.”
I nodded. “You’re doing good, D.” I gave her a small, approving smile and turned to go. “I’ll let you know when it’s ready—oh,” I stopped mid-step and turned around again. “Harper set the infirmary up in the master bedroom, so you and Jason get the smaller room downstairs. Is that okay?”
“Is that the one with the ginormous walk-in closet?”
I nodded. “You worried you won’t have room for the duffel bag containing the only clothes you own?”
She gave me a sassy smirk. “No, although it’s past time for a little shopping spree…” Her eyes widened. “Anyway, I was thinking, since Carlos is sleeping in the stable with Vanessa, Annie can stay with me and Jason. I can make the closet into a little room for her.”
“Sounds good.” I gave her a quick goodbye wave. “I’ll leave you to it.”
“Thanks, Zo,” she called, and I headed back to the farmhouse. Jogging up the porch steps, I nearly ran into Biggs as he hustled out the front door…without the babies.
“I thought it was ‘dad time’ with the twins,” I said.
Biggs shrugged. “Jake needs my help. Harper and Chris took them into the house.”
I shook my head as he walked toward the shed. “Bullet dodger,” I grumbled.
Entering through the front door as quietly as I could so as not to disturb any sleeping babies, I walked down the hall to the living room and peeked my head inside. I grinned.
Chris was cooing at Everett, who gurgled and hiccupped in her arms as she rocked him. Harper was smiling down at Ellie, who was cradled in his lap. With Harper’s dancing eyebrows and too-wide smiles, he was making the goofiest faces at her I’d ever seen on anyone.
“Have either of you seen Becca?” I whispered.
Chris glanced up at me and shook her head, a self-satisfied smile brightening her relaxed features. She was completely content. “Not since she moved her stuff up into her room.”
Harper finally looked at me and shook his head. He was trying his damnedest to keep little Ellie in love with him like all the other ladies, but exhaustion filled his eyes, and I had to stifle a laugh. “She ensnared by your charm yet, H?”
He gave me a small, cocky smile. “We’re getting there.”
“Good.” I nodded in the direction of the kitchen. “I’m going to make us something to eat. I’ll let you know when it’s ready.”
Chris and Harper nodded in tandem and turned their attention back to their charges.
Assuming Becca was still in her room, I headed back toward the front of the house and up the narrow staircase. The mahogany banister was cool beneath my hand as I ascended, and having grown up with a woodworker for a father, I could appreciate the carpentry that had gone into a house like this—the spindle baluster uprights and Grecian-esque crown molding that came into view as I reached the top of the stairs were just a few of the touches that gave the grand Victorian so much character.
The oak wood floors were polished, and I could see the pale pink and coffee-colored area rugs scattered purposefully throughout the second floor through the railing as I approached the landing. Black and white scenic photos of the property hung from the neutral-colored walls. Delicate lace and cream-colored curtains adorned the tall, skinny windows, letting in the early afternoon sunlight, and the minimal, blond wood furniture matched the floors, each piece strategically placed. It was hard to believe dead bodies had been in the house less than a day before we’d settled in, and I was grateful I didn’t know which room had been their final resting place.
I headed down the hall toward the room I thought now belonged to Becca and the other Re-gens. I passed what I assumed was Chris’s room, given the shotgun propped against the closet door on the far side and the pack that had been left on the bed, and stopped outside the door to Becca’s room.
I knocked lightly and waited for an answer. Other than the sudden outburst of crying babies downstairs and the old house settling in the growing heat, I didn’t hear anything on the other side of the door. I knocked again.
“I’ll be out in a minute,” Becca finally rasped from inside, a coughing fit immediately following.
“Becca, are you okay?”
Hearing sniffles and another cough, I began to worry. Without hesitation, I turned the handle and pushed the door open.
The room was mostly dark, the striped beige and chocolate-colored paper lining the walls only visible in the wash of sunlight that filtered in through the parted curtains. Becca sat on the edge of one of the twin beds, a sea of bloodied tissues on the floor and around her impression on the mattress.
“Becca?” My heart thudded, and I felt the color drain from my face as I rushed over to her. “What’s wrong?” I searched her face for answers, her body for some indication of what was wrong, but I didn’t know what to look for.
Her shoulders were slouched and her feet were dangling haplessly over the edge of the bed.
“Becca, what’s wrong? Do you want me to get Harper?”
Slowly, she shook her head. “He can’t help me.”
I didn’t like the sound of that. I scanned her body again. At some point over the past few weeks she’d grown thinner, and her eyes were rimmed with dark circles.
“Becca,” I breathed. “What’s going on?” I crouched on the floor b
eside her bed. When she didn’t say anything, I reached for her hand, desperate for her to confide in me. “Please, tell me.”
She cleared her throat, and I lifted my gaze to her heavy-lidded gray eyes as she looked down at me. “I’m dying.”
My breath hitched, and I nearly choked. “You’re what?” First Sarah, and now Becca? I didn’t think I could handle losing her, too…I didn’t think I could handle losing anyone else.
Becca’s gaze seemed unfocused and distant. “The Re-gen process does not come without repercussions.” She stared down at the bloodied tissue in her hand. “My organs are shutting down. It is only a matter of time.”
“What?” I nearly screeched as I squeezed her hand. “No! You finally belong with us. Why…”
“You can’t bring people back from the dead and expect them to go about life as though nothing has changed. It’s not natural, and my body is failing.”
I shook my head and rose to my feet. The space in the room wasn’t nearly enough as I paced back and forth, my mind racing and my heart breaking. “And you know this because you’ve seen it?”
“Yes,” she said easily, but I struggled to accept things as easily as she did.
“Then you must know of a cure,” I said. “If you’ve seen this, if you understand, then you must see a way out…an alternative…” I straightened, realizing Jake had no clue. “You never said anything.” How can she do this to him again? I suddenly felt desperate, angry but desperate. “Jake…”
In an unexpected display of emotion, Becca narrowed her eyes, apparently comprehending the directions my thoughts were going. “And why would I tell him? There is nothing he can do for me. He would just worry.”
“Of course he would worry. Becca, you’re dying. I—” I froze mid-step. I suddenly felt a flare of hope. “A transfusion. Jake could give you a blood transfusion. It’ll be the first thing he thinks of, I know it will.”
Becca shook her head. “That won’t work. The process by which we’re created—”
“Becca, we should at least—”
“Trust me,” she said, her patience clearly thinning.
“And Mase…and Camille.” Dani would be devastated; we all would be devastated. “We’ve already lost so many…” I stepped in front of her, searching her eyes for reassurance. “Please tell me there’s a way to help you…to save you.”
Her eyes softened, and she offered me a weak smile. “Mase and Camille are okay,” she said so certainly I almost believed her. “They’ve both had so much electrotherapy that they should be fine…for a while.”
Shaking my head, I tried to steady my voice and my breathing as I sat down beside her on the white down comforter. “Electrotherapy? Like what happened to Dani…or like what Carlos was doing to me?”
“Yes, both. But what Carlos was doing to you was only a fraction of the intensity that is needed to prolong our lives. It is similar to part of the process that creates us in the first place, and it seems to act as a sort of reset.” Becca stared out the open bedroom door. “I have mentioned my degeneration to Mase and Camille, and they have no symptoms, not like me…and they will not for some time.”
I gaped at her, completely speechless. Unable to take her silent contemplation, I stood and strode to one of the windows, peering out at our fresh start that seemed to be slipping away before it really even began. Like so many times in the past month, I felt useless. “Please, Becca. Please tell me there’s a way.” And just as I said the words, I turned to face her. “Carlos—”
“We cannot risk him burning his Ability out,” she said. “You need him too much, and he is so young. I will not ask him.”
I straightened, a jolt of anger shooting through me. “It’s not your call,” I said. “It’s Carlos’s. I don’t want anything to happen to him, either, but he’s been practicing on Mase and Camille; he’s getting stronger. You don’t know that he can’t handle it…unless you do because you saw something.”
Becca shook her head. “And you would risk him burning out? For me? Do you not see—” Becca began coughing again, this time lying back and curling into the fetal position, her features twisted in pain. “I shouldn’t speak, it only makes it worse.”
“Hold on, Becca. I’m gonna find Harper. We’ll figure something out.”
And before I knew it, I was running down the hallway toward the stairs. Gabe was the one who knew about this stuff, but he was with Sanchez back in New Bodega. Harper was a doctor, but not a Re-gen specialist, so I could only hope we would find a solution before it was too late. I rushed into the living room, where Harper and Chris were still sitting sleepily beside one another on the couch.
“H,” I said, trying to get his attention without waking the twins. “H!”
Finally, Chris’s eyes opened, and upon seeing the look of what I assumed was horror on my face, she nudged Harper from his nodding state.
He immediately straightened, his eyes focused and alert on mine. “What is it, Baby Girl?”
“It’s Becca,” I croaked. “She’s sick, and…I need your help.”
As I took the babies from their arms, I explained what I knew in a rush of words I wasn’t sure they fully understood, but they didn’t waste any time. While Chris ran out to grab Carlos and Jake, Harper and I went upstairs.
Becca’s coughing had momentarily subsided, but I could see the fear in Harper’s eyes as he stood beside her bed, staring down at the bloodstained tissues surrounding her.
When Chris, Jake, and Carlos appeared in the doorway, I stepped aside, allowing them room to enter. The fear reflected in Jake’s eyes, the grief, was nothing compared to the overwhelming sense of desperation that riddled every fiber of him. Worried I wouldn’t be able to control my own emotions, not to mention everyone else’s, I left the five of them alone and went out to the hallway to wait, a twin in each arm.
Aside from the bitterness I’d felt toward Becca during our initial meeting back in Cañon City, she’d become my friend. She’d been like a kindred spirit when I’d lost my memory, a sister of sorts. Jake might never recover from losing her again, and I couldn’t bear the thought of it, either.
But it wasn’t my choice, and it wasn’t my life that would be in danger by trying to help her. It was a decision Becca and Carlos needed to make together. I just hoped it was the one I wished it would be.
After I paced for what felt like a half hour, Carlos walked out of the room. His eyes met mine instantly, and I wondered if that was a good or bad sign. He stopped in front of me and I held my breath, waiting.
“Of course I’ll do it,” he said on an exhale, and I let out an uneven sigh.
Harper and Chris filed out after, reclaiming the babies from me.
I steadied myself and moved to the doorway of Becca’s room. The tension in my chest eased and tears pricked my eyes at the sight of Becca wrapped in Jake’s arms.
32
DANI
MAY 28, 1AE
The Farm, California
“Hey, Carlos,” I said as I walked into the stable.
I could see him through the open doorway of the first stall, Vanessa’s room for the foreseeable future. He was seated on a wooden chair, his sister sitting on a sisal rug at his feet as he combed through her rat’s nest of hair…or rather, attempted to comb through it. Carlos cringed more than his sister did as each stroke caught in the myriad of snarls, jerking her head back despite his obvious attempt to be gentle. Vanessa hardly seemed to notice, instead continuing to whisper to the empty space beside her.
I smiled at Carlos. “Can I borrow you for a bit?” I bit my lip, feeling guilty about stealing him away from Vanessa; his presence had an even more calming effect—if not a saning effect—on her than Chris’s Ability, though Chris claimed she was making progress in working through the tangled synapses of Vanessa’s mind.
Tossing the comb on a folding card table that was one of Vanessa’s three pieces of furniture—the chair Carlos was sitting in, the card table, and a cot Jason and I had found while, ah
em, “exploring” some of the barn’s hidden recesses—Carlos sighed. “Yeah. Not like this is doing any good anyway.”
“You could just cut it all off,” I said with a shrug. “I’d offer to help, but I think she might bite me if I came near enough…”
Vanessa snorted and hissed, “Yesssss…” drawing out the sibilant word until she ended it with a harsh cackle.
“Nessa!” Carlos moved out of the chair and crouched in front of his sister so he could look her in the eyes. “If you don’t have anything nice to say…” His tone was one a parent might use on an unruly child.
Rolling her eyes, Vanessa returned her attention to the air beside her. “I know, Rosie, you’re right…she’s trying to steal him, too. First Annie, now my little brother.” There was a long moment where she said nothing, and then she giggled. “Like she wants to be me?” It was clear that Carlos and I were missing out on an integral part of the conversation.
“Nessa,” Carlos said, reaching out to touch his sister’s shoulder.
She brushed his hand away, flicking an irritated glance at him.
Again, Carlos sighed. “I love you,” he whispered before he stood. “I’ll be back in a bit, okay?”
But Vanessa didn’t respond; she was too busy conversing with “Rosie.”
Poor Carlos, I thought. I cleared my throat as he approached, backing out of the doorway so he could exit the stall.
“What do you need me to do?” he asked once the padlock keeping his sister locked safely in the stall was securely in place. He turned, looking at me, his eyes shining with frustration…and an immeasurable amount of loss.
“Carlos…” I shook my head. “It’s okay. Stay with her. I can find some other way to—”
“Don’t,” he said. “Please.” His face hardened, but his eyes still shimmered with all of the pain he was holding inside. “Don’t pity me. I’m just lucky to have her back.” He laughed cynically. “Even like this.” And I knew he was thinking of Ky and Ben.
“Okay. Yeah, okay…sorry.” Again, I shook my head, finding it impossible to shake off all of my pity for him. “I just…” I looked up at him. “I think it’s really amazing what you’re doing, you know, taking such good care of her.” Reaching for his hand, I gave it a squeeze. “I’m so proud of you, and I’m sure your whole family would be, too. She”—I nodded toward the stall—“would be proud of you.”
Out Of The Ashes (The Ending Series, #3) Page 39