Untamed Wolf

by Wade, Cara

  I didn’t answer her, I simply fixed my eyes on the road and kept on driving forward. I didn’t want to think about Keli in that way, I didn’t want to think about anyone, I just wanted to get past this. Whatever Gabbi said, I was to blame for Margery’s death. If I wasn’t with her then there was a chance Mr. Damn Luca would’ve left her well alone. Maybe he still would’ve stalked her a bit, his fascination wasn’t all to do with me, but I doubted it would’ve gone so far.

  “Find out where she lives,” I eventually muttered to Gabbi. “I want to take her home, allow her to rest.”

  “Does that mean you’re ignoring me?” Gabbi sighed, turning in her seat. “You’ll regret this, you know? I might have seen the way that you look at Keli, but there’s also something in her eyes when she looks at you.”

  A deep pang sprung into my heart, a yearning that I desperately wanted to follow. I wanted to be able to let people in, but it wasn’t easy for me. I just had no idea what it was.

  “I’m not ignoring you, I’m just trying to do what’s right.”

  “What’s right? Why don’t you ever think about what you want? What Keli wants? Doing what’s right hasn’t ever got you anywhere before.”

  There wasn’t any argument to that, so I simply said nothing instead.

  Chapter 11

  Keli

  I sighed deeply as I tugged through the endless paperwork in front of me, wondering why I couldn’t focus on any of it. I couldn’t go home until it was done, so I needed to get started at some point, but still my mind was everywhere else but here.

  That night, it all continued to center back to that night. Even though three long weeks had passed, it was all that I could think of.

  The crazy man, the wolf, the harsh words, the kidnap, the murder, the blood...all the blood...

  That night ended just as rapidly as it began, Baz dropped me off home, I said a goodbye to him and his daughter and that was that. Rapid, fast, a blur. Of course, I never heard from people I encountered after the case was done, but this felt like it should be different. After all, I’d put my life on the line for the Rymeria family and now they were just gone from my life, leaving an empty hole behind them. I needed someone to talk that night through with, but unfortunately the only people that I could discuss it with were no longer anywhere to be found.

  At first I was scared that it was all going to come back on me. I murdered someone, I went off duty and acted alone, and there would be consequences to that. That alone stopped me from reaching out to them. But nothing came. Baz assured me that they’d dealt with the body, that they’d sorted it for me, but I was scared all the same.

  Still, when it became clear that nothing was going to happen, that feeling was replaced with something else. I missed them. I missed Gabbi with her sweet, sulky face, and I missed Baz. Knowing what he truly was just made me want him more, and not because I was fascinated by him in the same way that Mr. Luca was, but because he’d found it within himself to trust me.

  He was beautiful, as a human and as a wolf, and I wanted to know more, but unfortunately he was nowhere to be found. Still, how could I communicate with him when he’d made no effort to do the same. If he didn’t want me, then I didn’t want him.

  I did, but I couldn’t.

  “Keli, where are you?” one of my work colleagues–I couldn’t even be bothered to work out which one–called out to me. “It’s Dennis’s birthday, we have a cake for him.”

  Urgh. I’d always hated the lame birthday tradition of standing together and pretending that we all got along while we sang together, but there was no escaping it. We did it for everyone, and it seemed that would never change.

  “Yeah, sure, coming.” I couldn’t keep the bitter anger from my tone however hard I tried. This was the last thing I needed, and now everyone knew it.

  I slid out from behind my desk and went to stand with the rest of them, but as we sang I felt more separated from everyone than usual. I knew something they didn’t, and that left me on the outskirts. I’d slowly become disconnected from others over the last few years anyway–not that I’d noticed it at the time–and now that was even more obvious. The Grand Canyon stood between me and the rest of them

  Once the obligatory singsong was done, and everyone forced down a piece of dry cake, I decided to leave the rest of the paperwork until the following day. If my mind wasn’t in it, then there was no point in pretending anymore. I just needed to be at home, alone with my thoughts.

  I left before the others, needing my escape. The silly words to the Happy Birthday song still raced through my mind as I grabbed my coat and bag and I moved through the hallway to the outside world. There was a heavy weight resting on my chest, a sadness that I wasn’t sure how to shake. That night had changed me in ways that I wasn’t expecting, and now I wasn’t sure what to do.

  I shoved the door open and sucked in a deep, calming breath, then I walked briskly along the sidewalk. I could’ve got the bus home, just like I usually did, but today I didn’t want to. I wanted the walk to clear my brain.

  The city that buzzed past me was familiar, but strange all the same, making me think that maybe it was time to leave. I’d stayed in the same place my entire life. I’d grown up in the city, and never moved on, but now was the first time that it no longer felt like my home.

  I turned the corner, arriving at my apartment block far before I felt ready to, but the sight I saw before me struck ice cold fear into my heart. Much as I’d wanted this, much as I’d prayed for it, I didn’t know what it meant.

  “B...Baz?” I whispered, uncertainty falling from my mouth. “What are you doing here?”

  Baz didn’t reply, instead he walked towards me with an utter determination plastered across his face. I didn’t know how to react, I wasn’t sure what to do, so I remained exactly where I was as if my feet were locked to the floor, covered in concrete. I almost felt like this might be a dream once more, but I didn’t have the energy to pinch myself, to check that this was real this time.

  Then he got close enough to me that I could feel the intense heat radiating off his body. I was aware of every single inch of him and that ignited a fire within me, there was something about this man, something that drew me to him like a magnet.

  Then his lips crashed against mine, and the whole world simply fell away.

  Chapter 12

  Baz

  As our lips moved in unison, and I could feel Keli’s heartbeat hammering in time with mine, I knew that I’d done the right thing. It’d been scary to make the decision to let someone else into my life, to open up my heart to someone else that could be risking themselves for me, but with a little help from Gabbi, I now knew that it was this, or live a half life. Existing when I could be living.

  I couldn’t allow what had happened with Margery to taint me forever, neither I nor Gabbi deserved that. It was a tragedy, but people faced things like that every day. Moving forward and living well was the only way to honor the dead.

  “I can’t stop thinking about you,” I finally admitted as we pulled our lips apart. I kept my hand wrapped around the back of her neck and rested my forehead on Keli’s to keep us close as we spoke. “Ever since I first met you, not even on that horrible night, you’ve always been there at the back of my mind. I like you. It scares me to like you, which I’m sure you understand now, but I do all the same.”

  “I like you too,” Keli whispered into my mouth, her breath tickling my skin. “More than I ever thought that I would like anyone.”

  “Even though you know who I am? Even though you know how much of a risk it is?” I needed her to understand everything. I didn’t want her to make this choice with her eyes half closed.

  “Oh.” Keli pulled back and smirked at me. “You think that you’re so dangerous, just because you’re a big bad wolf? You don’t know what you’re getting into with me, mister.”

  The laughter that we shared felt wonderful, it was nice to finally be in a place where we could actually create some happy memorie
s. We’d been through such a hard time, our first meetings were terrifying and full of sadness, but now all of that was about to change.

  “Well then, if that’s the case I look forward to finding out. I like a bit of mystery, it keeps life interesting.” And I really did want to find out everything about her. Keli fascinated and amazed me in every single way.

  “Oh and I’m sure your life is usually so boring.” Keli paused for a second and bit down thoughtfully on her lip. “How is Gabbi doing? I’ve been thinking about her a lot.”

  Her words about Gabbi touched me, it was lovely to know that she cared about my daughter as well as me. “Gabbi is good, we are getting on very well these days. And she’s adjusting to her new self as well as can be expected. I know all of that mess with Mr. Luca was awful, but in a way it helped us a lot. Now, we actually have what could be considered a father/daughter relationship.”

  Keli nodded, unsure of what to say to that, which I couldn’t blame her for. It was all so complex, too much for someone to want to take on, but she’d kissed me back which had to mean something, right?

  “Do you think you might like to come on a date with me?”

  Keli’s eyes widened and she giggled inadvertently. “That seems a little strange, doesn’t it? To be going on a date now after everything?”

  “I know.” I pulled her in closer to me and wrapped my arms tightly around her. “I know it does, but I want to start things right.”

  Keli was right for me, I could feel it in the pit of my stomach, my animal instincts allowed me to see things that other people couldn’t. Now that I’d allowed her in, I could feel everything powerfully, only I didn’t want to freak her out by saying that aloud. I wanted her to work it out all by herself.

  “Well, that sounds lovely,” she declared with that beautiful radiating smile that could light up any room. “Do you want to come and wait inside while I get dressed?”

  “Oh, you want to go right now?” I teased. “I don’t know if I’m ready for that...”

  “Oh, shut up, you,” Keli gave me that beautiful smile, and she pulled at the band in her hair allowing it to tumble down around her cheeks. “There’s no time like the present now, is there?”

  “No, no time like the present.”

  As I followed behind her, ready to start my own new life, I realized that this had been a long time coming. Now, more than ever before I was excited to see what the future held.

  Chapter 13

  Keli

  I practically floated from work with my head in the clouds, day dreaming about the night I had ahead. Ever since Baz had told me that he wanted to be with me two and a half weeks ago, I didn’t feel like my feet had touched the ground even once. He had taken me on a range of wonderful dates, showing me the touching, romantic side of him, and as he treated me in a way that I’d never been treated before I could feel myself falling.

  “Hey,” his slightly gruff voice made my face burst into a grin. “How are you?”

  “I wasn’t expecting you until later,” I mock whined, even though I was really happy to see him. “I wanted to get all dressed up nice for you.”

  Baz lifted me and spun me around in the air, making me giggle like a crazed school girl. I’d never had such an overwhelming crush before, it felt wonderful. “I met you in your police uniform, and I liked you instantly. What makes you think that would’ve changed now?”

  “True, but you also like it when I have my hair spilling down my back and one of my dresses on.”

  “Mmm, true.” His lips crashed into mine, and while the sensation was much more familiar now, it still had my heart fluttering wildly. I couldn’t ever see any universe in which I would get bored of the sizzle that floated between us.

  “So,” I finally started once we managed to prize apart for a second to get some air. “Do you have any plans for us tonight, or are we just going to wing it for once?”

  “Actually,” he bit down on his lip and looked adorably shy, as if he wasn’t quite sure how I would take what he had to say next. “Gabbi wants to see you for a bit, she’s going out with her friends later on, but she wants to say hi.”

  “How has she taken it? Me and you? Is it a bit weird for her to you seeing me?” I had been wondering that for a while now, but there hadn’t ever been a good time to ask.

  “She adores you, she encouraged me to ask you in the first place. I think she just wants to have a chat.”

  “Did you drive over? I’ve never been to your place before, is it far?”

  “It is, but I didn’t bring my car.”

  “Oh, what are we…?”

  I didn’t get to finish my question because Baz grabbed hold of my hand and he pulled me out of sight of everyone. I cocked my head to one side and gave him an inquisitive look, but all I got in response was a wicked grin from him.

  “I’ll take you to my house, just wait.”

  He started to swell and shudder, splitting his clothes in a way that I’d seen him do once before, only this time the sight didn’t fill me with any kind of confusion and upset, I was desperately excited. I’d been existing on the mere, very mixed up memory of him changing on that night. I wanted to see it again, but it didn’t seem like the sort of thing I could just ask of him.

  But now that he’d offered I sure as hell wouldn’t say no.

  I stepped back and admired him as his body swelled and burst into fur, rapidly transforming from human to beast. He was beautiful, I could still clearly tell that it was him in his animal form, he still very much looked like Baz even as a wolf.

  His warm, wet nose nudged softly against my skin, encouraging me to stroke him, and as I ran my hand along his warm, silky fur, I felt my heart beat even faster and my feelings grow. I realized that I wasn’t falling for Baz despite his wolf form, I adored him because of it.

  “You’re so beautiful,” I whispered into his ear.

  He nudged my body, encouraging me to climb up onto his back. I felt very unsure as I tried to work out how I would even begin to do that. He was so huge as an animal, it scared me to try, but I had to. I wanted to come to grips with every inch of Baz, and this was an important part of him.

  I clung tightly to his fur and pulled my bodyweight up. I was scared that I’d hurt him, but the only noise that came out of Baz was a friendly little growl.

  Despite all the odds being stacked against me, I eventually made my way up onto his back and I glanced down at the world below me. I wasn’t even that high up, yet everything looked a whole lot smaller and insignificant from this position. There was a definite beauty to that.

  “Okay,” I whispered, unsure if Baz would be able to hear me. “I think I’m ready now.”

  Then he took off, running like the wind. It was a good job that me tugging on his fur didn’t harm him at all because I absolutely needed to now, just to keep myself steady. The world whizzed past me in a sickening blur, making it challenging for me to even breathe, but it was a thrilling sense too. Almost like being on the fastest fairground ride of my entire life. In the end I had to close my eyes, just to stop myself from being sick.

  The moment that Baz stopped, and I almost tumbled to the ground in front of him, my eyes widened in astonishment. “This is where you live?” I gasped in shock. “It’s beautiful.”

  I didn’t know that Baz had the sort of money that could buy a large home with so much land, but it made logical sense too. After all, he and his daughter needed the room to run and roam, to do what they needed to do as wolves.

  “Yes,” Baz smiled happily at me. “Come on, let’s go inside. Gabbi will be waiting.”

  Chapter 14

  Baz

  I loved seeing Gabbi and Keli get on so well, it made this whole budding relationship between us feel so incredibly right. Gabbi knew that I was opening my heart to Keli, and that I was really enjoying my time with her, and that made her happy too.

  “Do you love her, Dad?” she asked me this morning, just after she asked if she could speak to her for a bit.
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  “Love her?” I replied, acting incredulous. “We’ve only been dating for a couple of weeks, how can I know whether or not I love her?”

  But Gabbi knew me too well for that. “Dad, I’ve never seen you look so happy. It’s okay to love her already, we…feel things much faster than humans, don’t we? It’s as if we can’t be bothered to waste our time. You make sure that you never let her go.”

  Of course I didn’t intend to. One of the best things about being a shifter was that my animal instincts were always right–a notion that it seemed my daughter had caught onto very quickly–and they knew exactly how to feel about this one. Keli was right for me, and I her. She was starting to realize that herself, but it was going to take her solely human mind a little while longer to know it fully.

  She just made the world a better place, everything felt bigger and brighter with her around. Her smile could light up any room, and her laugh caused a stirring in my heart more powerful than anything that I’d ever experienced before. All I wanted was to be with her, and for someone that had spent the last few years being incredibly shut off, that sensation truly did set me free.

  “Anyway, I really do have to go,” Gabbi insisted pointedly. “But it was good to see you again, Keli, and thank you again for everything that you’ve done for my family. I don’t know where we’d be now without you.”

  They embraced as they said goodbye to one another, causing my pulse rate to kick up another notch. Keli slotted into every aspect of my life, not just the easy parts and that made it even better.

  “So?” Keli stared at me with fire in her eyes as Gabbi left. “What now?”

  The question was loaded, it hinted at something that we hadn’t yet done. Because everything had bulldozed over us both, our feelings had surprised both of us as if from nowhere, we’d currently been taking things very slowly. There had been a lot of kissing and holding hands, touching softly and being romantic with one another, but nothing more. It wasn’t that I hadn’t wanted to, I just needed to be respectful.