by Bonnie Lamer
Her eyebrows rise slightly. “Did you not think the same thing when it was you suffering at his hands?”
“What?” both Raziel and Kallen say together.
I ignore them. “But he’s supposed to be evil.”
“As I said before, evil is relative,” Haniel says patiently. “It must be for the Universe to remain in balance.”
I’m not sure I understand. “How can it be relative when I tore him apart, literally, from the inside out?”
“What?!” both Raziel and Kallen cry again.
“Xandra, what happened between you and Belial?” Raziel asks.
Before I can say anything, Haniel speaks. “You will know soon enough, Raziel. It is time for you to return now.”
“Return where?” I ask. How are the other Angels going to look at Raziel now? I have made him evil in their eyes. Whether evil is relative or not.
“We will meet again soon,” Haniel promises and then she’s gone.
Chapter 32 – Raziel
Why has the Seraph of Joy pulled us out of time itself? Neither Xandra nor Kallen have any idea how significant this is. Seraphim rarely communicate openly. They are a mystery even to Archangels.
This is confirmed by her cryptic words. Whatever Haniel’s motivation is, it clearly centers around Xandra. Is there more to Xandra’s destiny than even I know? Or used to know. Considering I cannot see anything regarding her destiny at the moment the answer to that question clearly is yes.
I am about to ask these questions when Haniel dismisses us. Time rushes forward and we are thrust out into it. The ground is once again solid under our feet and the familiar landscape of the Dragon realm is before us. I say us, but it is only Kallen and I. Xandra is not here.
Kallen turns to me and then stumbles backwards. “What the hell! How did that happen?”
I turn to look behind me expecting a Dragon or some other shocking thing. Nothing. I turn back to him and ask, “What do you see?”
His face is incredulous. “You know damn well what I see.”
I look around again. Nothing. “Kallen, I do not…”
He interrupts me by stepping forward and shaking me. “Xandra, wake up.”
I put my hands up to stop him. “Kallen, stop. It is still me, Raziel.”
I can tell he wants to punch me again. “It is both of you.”
“Both of us?” He must have become insane. Perhaps being in the presence of a Seraph was too much for his mortal mind.
“Kallen, what are you talking about?”
Both he and I startle at Isla’s voice. She and Garren are standing several feet away and looking at us expectantly. “We need to get out of this open area. The Dragons have no doubt sent scouts to look for us already.”
She is correct. We are standing in a small meadow. I remember thinking about this meadow when I teleported us to the Goblin rebels. I did not dare attempt teleporting us to anywhere inside the forest for fear that I place someone inside of a tree.
Putting the conversation on hold, Kallen grabs my arm and tugs me towards the forest. We are only about 100 yards from the rebel encampment. At least, its current location. The Goblins take care to neutralize their urine and excrement with a special blend of herbs and minerals; but the scent is so pervasive that they have to move their encampment every couple of weeks to avoid being smelled by the Dragons.
As we pick our way through the underbrush and tree limbs, Kallen hisses, “How are you both in that body? And why is Xandra not conscious?”
I stop moving. I have no choice. He has stunned me. “Kallen, I have no idea what you are talking about. I only feel myself in this body.”
“Are you two coming?” Garren asks impatiently.
“Wake her up,” Kallen growls as he starts walking again.
Can he be right? Are Xandra and I in the same body? And if so, I wonder what exactly Haniel is trying to accomplish by doing this.
I am not left with much time to ponder that as we are suddenly surrounded by about fifty Goblins. These are a bit larger than the breeding Goblins. They are dressed in tunics in varying shades of green and brown. Sparse wisps of hair are scattered across their heads and faces and their noses hang well below their mouths. They look almost like their breeding brethren. The difference is in their eyes. These are sentient beings. And they are angry. That is evident by the sharp quills loaded in crossbows that are no doubt filled with any number of poisons. And they are pointed at us.
“Garren, why are you here?” the rebel leader asks him after pushing through the crowd. “Your presence is not needed.”
“Yes, I know. Trust me, I wish I had stayed home as well. I am now undoubtedly an enemy of the realm and have nowhere else to go.” That is true.
“Then you have put us in even more danger than we already were,” the Goblin Mortain grouses.
“If it could have been helped, I would have prevented it.”
Mortain points to me. “Who is she?”
Garren shrugs. “I have yet to figure that out myself.”
Mortain kicks Garren in the shin. “Why are you speaking in riddles? Do you mean to confuse us?”
Garren reaches down and rubs his shin. “No. And those boots of yours have some sharp tips on them.”
Mortain holds up his foot proudly. “Scale piercing they are.”
“Yes, I noticed,” Garren says dryly. A bit of blood is trickling down his leg.
“Where is Tabitha?” Isla asks, too impatient of our goal to listen to this any longer. There is a steely threat in her voice.
Mortain points his crossbow at her. “You will not have her until we have your magic.”
Isla and Kallen both are pulling enough magic to level the forest. That will certainly not help our goal of avoiding the wrath of the Dragons. “Mortain, we are not here to give you magic but we still may be able to help your cause.”
Mortain backs up so quickly that he stumbles over a small stick. “How do you know my name?”
Oops. “I may have heard Garren mention it.”
Garren scowls slightly at the almost lie. “Yes, I am sure I did.”
“Mortain, what is all the commotion over here? Lunch is getting cold.” An older Fairy who is plump around the middle and has a large of amount of gray hair piled atop her head pushes through some trees. She stops when she sees us and puts her hands on her hips. “Well it is about damn time you got here. You get a note telling you I have been kidnapped and you take three days to rescue me? I have a good mind not to feed any of you again.”
Isla and Kallen’s jaws drop. Isla collects herself first. “Are you telling me that you have not been in any danger? You have been catering to these…Goblins?”
That hesitation earns her a snarl from Mortain. “Do not speak of us or to our friend like that!”
“Friend?” Kallen says. Looking at Tabitha, he says, “You set this up?”
Tabitha looks a little chagrined now. “They came to me and asked for help.”
“What kind of help?” Kallen asks.
She takes a moment to smooth the wrinkles from her apron. “Help with their Dragon situation.”
Isla’s face is turning a dangerous color of red. “What do you mean their ‘Dragon situation’?”
Ignoring Isla’s question, Tabitha turns to me. “Xandra, have they told you about the diet of a Dragon?”
I try hard to hide my smile. She knew all along how Xandra would react to finding out that the Dragons used Goblins for food and the whole breeding issue. “Yes, they have,” I say with the straightest face I can.
Her hands are back on her hips. “Well?”
She is obviously expecting a tirade of indignation regarding the whole affair. I hate to disappoint her after all the work she went through to put this together. “It is absolutely atrocious that this has gone on so long unchecked. The idea of a race willing to breed their brethren as food for another race is beyond comprehension.”
Her eyes narrow. “Absolutely atrocious. Beyond comprehensio
n. You are not Xandra. Who are you and why are you in her body?”
Now all of our jaws drop. Except Mortain’s and the rest of the Goblins. They are just annoyed by the whole exchange.
“You are exceptionally perceptive Tabitha.”
“That does not answer my question.”
No, it did not. “I am Raziel. For some unforeseen reason, Xandra and I have switched bodies.”
“They did,” Kallen growls. “But now they are both there. Xandra is unconscious.”
Tabitha studies me a moment. Then in several long strides she is standing in front of me. I am completely unprepared for the slap across the face I receive. “Wake up, Xandra.”
I put a hand to my bruising cheek. “That was quite painful.”
Tabitha shrugs. “Is she awake now?”
“No.”
“Oh well, it was worth a shot. I am sure she will awaken soon. She is not one to miss out on the action. All right, come along now.” She turns and walks farther into the forest. We have no choice except to follow regardless of how upset Kallen and Isla are with her. I use magic to heal my stinging cheek as we walk. The woman has a mean slap.
Chapter 33 – Xandra
I am not quite sure where I am. I just felt a jolt of pain and I could have sworn that I heard Tabitha’s voice. But all I can see at the moment is darkness. It’s like my eyes are closed and I can’t open them. My body is moving though. It feels like I’m walking. Sure wish I could see where I’m going.
I also feel crowded. Like I’m squished into a corner somewhere. Maybe if I push against whatever is in front of me, I’ll be able to see again. I focus on moving my arms and push outward. Well, I can’t see any better but I did a good job of making myself stumble. I’m really confused.
“What the hell?”
Hey! That was my voice. But I didn’t say that. What is going on? Well, if I could move my arms then I should be able to move my legs. Or stop them.
Brilliant plan. I’m guessing I’m around trees because I think that was a root I just fell on. Gee, good thing my pain sensors are still working. I would hate to of lost those as well as my vision.
“Raziel, what is going on?” Kallen’s voice asks impatiently. And then he has a sharp intake of breath. “Xandra?”
I think I’m making my lips smile. But it would be a lot better if I could see him. I feel him take my hand and help me up.
“I believe Xandra and I are indeed in the same body. I have made several movements that were not of my volition.” That must be Raziel because I didn’t say that. Crap, are we really in the same body?
Raziel?
Yes, it is me.
We’re in the same body?
I am afraid so.
How come you got the use of my eyes?
Raziel laughs and says out loud, “I am not sure, Xandra.” Looking at Kallen, he says, “Now that Xandra is awake, she is able to communicate with me through our minds. It seems that I still have control of her body for the most part.”
Why is that?
I do not know. It seems there is a lot that I do not know lately.
“Hurry up,” a tiny little Goblin voice says and then kicks me in the ankle.
Ow, that hurt. Kick him back.
Xandra, he barely comes up to our knees.
Fine.
“What is she saying?” Kallen asks. “I can see that she is talking to you.” That is really weird. I wonder what we look like to him.
“She wants me to kick the Goblin that just kicked us.”
Kallen half chuckles and shakes his head. After a few seconds his face sobers again. He keeps walking for a few minutes and then he comes to an abrupt halt. Turning around to steady me since he almost causes me to fall, he pulls me to him and he kisses me. This is awkward.
He’s not kissing you, he’s kissing me.
I assumed that was the case. I am still involved though.
As Kallen deepens the kiss, I feel a change between me and Xandra. It is as if she is being drawn to the surface and I am being pushed to the shadows. She moves our arms to wrap them around Kallen’s neck and moves our body closer to him. She is now the one in control.
Chapter 34 – Xandra
It feels as if I am swimming to the surface. Every touch of Kallen’s lips and hands brings me farther and farther. I press against him and wrap my arms around his neck, clinging tightly to him. Slowly, I open my eyes and I can see his face next to mine.
He must feel the change because he pulls back slightly to study me. Then he smiles. “Xandra.”
“Shut up and kiss me again.” He doesn’t hesitate. This kiss is deeper, more passionate.
You do know I am still here, right?
I pull away from Kallen abruptly. Sorry Raziel, I just miss him so much.
I understand. I know that he understands too well.
“Xandra?” Kallen says as he puts his hands on my cheeks. “Are you okay?”
I step back a little bit. “Yes. This is just weird with Raziel here too.”
He gives a half chuckle but there’s no humor in it. “Yes, indeed it is.” He looks hurt that I pulled away from him because of that.
Great. Trapped between my husband and my destined lover. This day is just jam packed full of guilt.
Looking towards the Goblins so I can look at something other than the pain in Kallen’s eyes, I notice a familiar rear end ducking under some branches. “Is that Tabitha?” I gasp.
“Yes,” Kallen says. “It seems she was behind this whole kidnapping scheme.”
I laugh. “I knew her heart was as soft as mine.” Except when I’m torturing Archangels. That thought wipes the smile off my face.
Xandra, I am sure you did what was right.
You weren’t there. You can’t say that without knowing what I did.
Show me.
How?
Think of it. Show me the pictures in this mind we share.
I don’t want to.
It cannot be that bad. Belial was created evil. I am sure he has done worse.
I’m not.
I imagine the scene in the commons; reliving every second. Tears fall from my eyes as I see Belial lying in a heap on the ground. This makes me just as evil as he is.
“What is he saying to you to make you cry?” Kallen growls, taking my shoulders in his hands. “Raziel, what are you doing to her?”
I wrap my arms around Kallen and he engulfs me in his. “Raziel isn’t doing anything to me. It’s what I did when I was in his body.”
Xandra, Belial has been responsible for the destruction of realms. He is responsible for almost every act of torture ever known. You did nothing to him that he did not deserve.
But it wasn’t my place or responsibility to dole out his punishment.
He made it your responsibility.
I challenged him.
He accepted. He knew the risks going in, you did not.
Just because he has done worse things doesn’t make it okay that I did that to him. I’m no better than him now.
Xandra, I have destroyed realms. Am I evil?
I stop to consider that. I have never felt anything but goodness being near Raziel. I’m sure you had good reason to do what you did.
As did you. You brought down the Archangel of true evil. You should be proud of yourself, not wallowing in guilt.
I’m not wallowing.
There is definitely some wallowing going on in here.
Fine, I’m wallowing.
“Xandra, you two are killing me. What is going on?” Kallen asks impatiently.
“Raziel is trying to make me feel better about something I did when I was in his body.”
“I am sure it could not be that bad. Did you kill anyone?”
“I came close.”
Kallen shrugs. “Close does not count.”
I smile against his chest. “Thank you both for trying to make me feel better.”