by Noelle Adams
Anne laughed. “I’ve wondered for a while now. You’ve got a certain glow around you. But I can’t for the life of me figure out when you’d have the chance to be seeing him. You haven’t gone out with anyone, and I even check in the middle of the night and your car is always in its parking place.”
“You’ve been spying on me?”
“Not really. Just wondering. Both Liz and I have been. But we can’t figure it out. Why won’t you tell us?”
“Because it’s... iffy. It’s not... serious.”
Anne’s brown eyes were wide. “Who is it?”
Em tightened her mouth. Hesitated. Finally admitted with downcast eyes. “It’s Ward.”
Anne gasped audibly. “What?”
“You heard me.”
“You’re kidding!”
“You didn’t suspect?”
“No! Of course not. You always talked about him like he was an older brother or something. You’re really... you’re really... involved with him?”
Em was blushing, and it was annoying. “Yes. I am. Do you really think it’s weird or... or wrong?”
“No. It’s not wrong at all. Now that I think about it, it makes perfect sense. He’s a very sexy man, and you’ve always been closer to him than anyone else. It just never occurred to me before. I feel like an idiot.”
“I felt like an idiot too. I never thought it about it either—not until it was actually happening.”
“So you’re having sex with him?”
Em nodded, half-embarrassed and half-excited.
“And it’s good?”
“Really good.”
“But wait a minute. You said it wasn’t serious. How could you possibly be having casual sex with Ward Knightley. You’re way too close to each other for that to work.”
“It’s not really casual. It’s just... not going to lead to hearts and roses and wedding dresses and everything.”
“Why not?”
“You know why not. It would never work in my situation, and I don’t think Ward even wants that.”
“He told you he didn’t want that?” Anne obviously wasn’t arguing. Just trying to figure things out.
Em didn’t mind. It was a relief to tell someone. And she wanted to figure things out just as much. “Pretty much. We agreed from the beginning that we would have sex as long as things didn’t get messy between us. A couple of weeks ago we almost ended things, but then we worked it out. But he knows all about my dad. I’ve told him very clearly that I can’t get married or even have a serious, committed relationship. He’s fine with it. He still wants to have sex.”
“It sounds kind of crazy, but if it’s working...”
“It is. At least so far it is. I’m not sure how long it can last, but for now it’s working. And I’ve got to admit, it’s nice to be able to... indulge that side of myself. It’s been a long time since I have.”
“I know. I’m glad you’re able to have some hot sex. But it’s got to be hard to keep it contained to just that. I mean, you and Knightley have known each other forever. You’re really close. You must occasionally want more than just sex with him.”
Em’s face twisted as she admitted the truth to herself. “Sometimes. Occasionally. But I know I can’t, and I’d rather have something with him than nothing at all.”
Anne’s expression was serious, sympathetic. “Okay. I get it. I do. Sometimes I wish I could have... something.” Her expression was almost playful. She was just teasing.
But the words struck a chord in Em. “You should have something. Why don’t you find a guy and have some hot sex? It doesn’t have to be serious.”
“Are you for real? I wouldn’t know where to even begin. How does one find a guy for hot sex and nothing else?”
“I think you can probably show up to a bar and you’d find plenty of amenable options.”
Anne giggled. “Yeah, right. If I have sex, I need to trust the guy. I understand some women don’t, but I do.”
“Yeah. Me too. That’s exactly why I ended up with Ward. But if you want a relationship, why don’t you work on it? I can help you find someone. I can set you up with—”
“No, no, Em. I don’t want to be set up. I mean it. I was just talking. Sex would definitely be nice, but I’d only want it in the context of a relationship, and I’m not ready for that right now.” She cleared her throat. “With my job and everything.”
“That makes sense. Just say the word and I’ll find you someone perfect.” Em was distracted from their conversation by the sight of something across the street. “Hey, look. It’s Riot.”
Anne turned too, and they both watched as Riot stood chatting with someone next to a food stand.
The person she was talking to was hidden behind the stand.
“I can’t see who she’s with,” Anne said.
“Me either.”
They both stared, openly curious, until the other person stepped forward, revealing himself.
Frank.
“I thought he was all pissy,” Anne said, sounding just as surprised as Em was.
“I thought so too. But I guess he’s not holding it against Riot. He looks really friendly.”
“So does she.”
Em frowned thoughtfully. “It looks like she’s flirting with him.”
“She flirts with almost everyone.”
“Not as much as she used to. Maybe she’s interested in him. She’d be a way better match for him than I would have been.”
Anne laughed. “There you go. Matchmaking again.”
“I’m not going to matchmake. I’m just thinking about it. If Frank doesn’t hold against her what happened with me, then maybe there’s some potential there. I’m going to go talk to them and see what I can discover.”
Anne was giggling as she said goodbye and took off in the opposite direction. Em walked toward Riot, but Frank had already left by the time she reached her.
“Hey!” Riot said when she saw her. “I didn’t know you were coming out this afternoon.”
“I have to write a story about the festival. What are you up to?”
“Just hanging out, buying some trinkets. But only the cheap stuff. I was just talking to Frank. He was really nice.”
“Was he? That’s great. You like him?”
“Sure. He’s great. I was going to get some hot chocolate. Do you want some?”
Em had just had some hot cider, so she didn’t really need another drink. But she wanted to talk to Riot, so she accepted.
They settled on the same bench that Em and Anne had been sitting on, and they chatted about some casual things. Em couldn’t seem to get the conversation back toward Frank, so finally she had to resort to direct questioning.
“So I was wondering if maybe you were interested in someone,” she said, slanting Riot a knowing look.
Riot giggled and blushed. A visible admission. “What?”
“You know what. I’ve noticed a few things, and I was wondering if you were interested in a certain someone.”
“How did you know?”
“I’m not blind, you know. I’ve got eyes in my head.”
Riot giggled again and covered her mouth with her hand. Then she said, “Okay, fine. You found me out. I am kind of... crazy about someone. He’s so handsome and smart and mature and... and sexy. He always seems to really listen to me. But I don’t really know if there’s any hope. He’s so much older than me. And he’s had so much more experience in life. And then I didn’t really know about... about you and him.”
“Me and him is nothing,” Em said firmly, excited in that way she always was when she saw and could predict the beginning of a relationship. “It never meant anything. So if he seems like he might be interested in you...”
“I don’t know. I’m not sure. But he always makes a point to talk to me. And I think he might think I’m pretty.”
“Well, that’s a start. Just make yourself available and smile at him a lot and see what happens. I don’t see any reason why it wouldn’t work
between you. I like it.”
Riot was brimming with smiles, and it made Em happy too.
She hadn’t messed things up completely for Riot. There were still a lot of good things in her future.
And if she wanted Frank, then Em was all for it.
“Okay. I’ll see if I can get thrown into his path. Maybe he’ll ask me out. I never would have dreamed of it working between us, but if you think it’s a possibility...”
“I definitely do.”
“Then I’m going for it.”
“Good.” Em was smiling just as broadly as Riot. “You should do it.”
Em was a lot happier as she was leaving the festival than she was when she’d arrived. She’d finally told Anne about her and Ward, and Anne had been encouraging—like she wasn’t out of her mind for even trying to make it work.
And things were going well with Riot. Maybe they’d hear back about her job applications soon.
She had to go back home and get dinner ready for her dad. She’d spend some time with him this evening. They could watch a movie or something.
And then she’d go see Ward after it got dark.
Maybe hers wasn’t a normal life, but it could be a good one.
She wasn’t going to want for anything else when she already had this much.
Eight
A WEEK LATER, EM WAS lying in Ward’s bed, watching the news.
She’d come over a couple of hours ago, and neither of them had been in a particularly sexy mood. So they’d had a glass of wine and watched a movie. Then they’d gotten in bed and turned on the news, chatting about some of the stories.
“Okay,” she said after a while. “We either need to change the channel or turn it off. The news is upsetting me too much.”
Ward picked up the remote and flipped over to a house-hunting show. “How’s this?”
She giggled. “It’s fine, although sometimes I get upset about those shows too. I mean, where do they dig those people up? I want a full ocean view and five bedrooms and marble floors, but I refuse to go a dollar over my low budget.”
Ward was smiling as he set down the remote. “I’ve always assumed they do that on purpose to up the drama.”
“Probably. But still. I’ve known people who do house searches with that exact same attitude. But this is less upsetting than the news.” She stared at the television for a few minutes. Then said, “Look at that view.”
“It is nice.”
“I’ve been wanting to take a hike up the Creeper Trail sometime soon. The leaves are about at their peak right now, so it’s the perfect time.”
“So what’s stopping you?”
“Nothing. But I don’t want to go by myself. I was thinking about asking some people. Maybe having a picnic.”
“That would be fun.” He paused. “Would I be invited?”
She snickered. “You would if there was any chance you would come. You usually don’t seem too excited about hanging out with me and my friends. Too young and silly for you, I’ve always assumed.”
“I would be happy to be part of the hike and picnic, if you want me around.”
She reached over and poked his side. “I’m the one who’s always inviting you. You’re the one who’s always saying no.”
“I’m not saying no this time.”
“Okay then. So you’ll go?”
“Yes, I’ll go.”
“You don’t even know when it will be.”
“I’ll go whenever it is. Believe it or not, I don’t have a packed social calendar.”
She giggled and scooted closer to him, leaning her head on his shoulder. “What about next Saturday? If it’s a weekend, more people could come.”
“Next Saturday works for me. Who will you invite?”
“The normal folks. Liz and Vince, Jane and Charlie. Anne. And Riot, I guess. I’ll need a couple more guys. I’d ask Frank since Riot is into him now, but I’m not sure he’d accept an invitation from me. He’s still holding a grudge.”
“Riot is into Frank?” He sounded unusually surprised.
“Yeah. She told me last week. I wasn’t expecting that, but it’s a way better match than Frank and me.”
“That’s for sure.”
She smiled at that. “So if Frank doesn’t come, then we still need at least one more guy. I was thinking about Chad Turner. Do you know him?”
“I don’t think so.”
“He’s an attorney with Mills & Sons. He’s about thirty, I guess. He’s a really nice, quiet guy. I was thinking he might be a good match for Anne.”
“I thought you said Anne didn’t want to be set up.”
“She doesn’t.” Em frowned at his slightly disapproving tone. “I’m not setting her up. I’m just thinking about inviting him to the picnic.”
“Anne’s going to know if you—”
“I said I’m not setting them up. I need a guy, and he would work fine. Anne is lonely. I know she is. She hasn’t dated in years. I want her to be happy. I’m not setting her up, but if I can introduce her to a nice guy, why shouldn’t I do it?”
“Because she asked you not to.”
“She asked me not to set her up. I’m just going to introduce her to a nice guy. I’m not doing anything pushy or intrusive. Just because you’ve given up on romance and marriage, doesn’t mean everyone has. If she’s lonely and there’s a possibility of her meeting a nice guy, then why shouldn’t I introduce her to one?”
He obviously didn’t like what she was saying. His frown was deepening, and his eyes were cool. “I haven’t given up on romance and marriage.”
She made an ironic huff of amusement. “Yeah. Right. Who do you think you’re kidding with that? You’re fine with sex, but you don’t want anything else. Do you think I’m stupid? What would happen if I suddenly declared I was in love with you and wanted to have your babies? You’d run like a rabbit. Don’t pretend you wouldn’t.” She was getting into dangerous territory now, and she suddenly realized it. She had to dial it back, or he might sense in her things she couldn’t even admit to herself.
“You don’t know that. You’re projecting your own rejection of marriage onto me.”
“I’ve never rejected marriage. I love marriage and romance. I just can’t have it myself.” The words didn’t come out the way she’d intended. They sounded almost lost. She cleared her throat. “I’m fine that way. But it’s not a rejection of marriage. You’re the one who tried it once and then gave up on it completely.”
“I didn’t give up on it.” His voice was full of gravel, and his body was tense.
“I remember you when you were young. You were always an old-fashioned guy who wanted to get married and have a family. There’s no way I’m going to believe you changed naturally. I’m not criticizing you, Ward. People do what they need to do. But it’s not right for you to always make claims about me when you refuse to admit them about yourself.”
He stared at her for a long moment, and she really had no idea how he was going to respond. But it felt important. She wasn’t sure how they’d stumbled into this conversation, but if he refused to open up, even a little bit, then she was going to have to rethink their relationship. For her own good.
She couldn’t be the only one who was vulnerable here.
Finally Ward took an odd, shaky breath. “Okay. You’re right. You’re right. I did get burned. It has made me... hesitant. I never really realized that about myself, but you’re right. It’s hard for me to trust now.”
She smiled at him, so relieved she was almost shaking. She reached over to touch his arm gently. “I’m not about to blame you for that. I’d probably do the same thing myself. And I guess that’s why it works out for both of us right now—to have what we have with no expectations of more.”
He smiled back, and it felt like they really understood each other. “Yeah. I think so.”
Starting to get nervous about the state of her heart, Em reoriented her focus. “So now that that’s cleared up, back to the original subject. Ann
e still believes in romance and marriage, and I don’t see that there’s anything wrong with introducing her to a nice guy.”
“If it’s just an introduction, I’m sure it’s fine. But if you’re channeling your own needs into your attempts to help her, that’s when it might get problematic.”
“I’m not doing that.” She stiffened her neck and gave him a cool look. “So there’s no reason for you to have your lecture face on.”
His expression cleared almost immediately. “Yes. Sorry. No lecture face for me.” He gave her a dry half smile. “Count me in for the hike and picnic.”
“Good. It’s settled.” She experienced a wave of pleasure that Ward hadn’t given her a lecture even if he’d been tempted. He was trying. Maybe this thing between them could actually work.
She was getting tired now, and she was thinking about going to sleep. She wasn’t really in the mood for sex.
She wondered if Ward was expecting it.
They had sex every night she’d gone over there. It felt strange to share his bed without having sex.
Deciding the only way to deal with this mental dilemma was to ask about it, she turned to him. “Did you want to have sex?”
He’d been focused on the television, shirtless and rumpled and irresistibly domestic. His eyebrows drew together. “I didn’t think you were in the mood.”
“I’m not really, but we can if you wanted to.”
“It doesn’t matter to me. I’ve had more sex in the past couple of months than I’ve had in my entire life, so I’m not hurting in the bedroom department. I’m kind of tired tonight anyway. So unless you change your mind...”
“I’m tired too. But I don’t have to come over here if we’re not having sex. I guess I didn’t even think about it. I’m just in the habit now. But if you’d prefer me to stay at home when we’re not—”
“Hey, hey.” He was frowning as he interrupted. “I don’t want you to stay at home. Why would you think I do?”
“I don’t know. I was just thinking I come over here for sex, so if we’re not having it—”
He reached over and turned her head to face him, causing her to fall silent. “When have I ever given you reason to think that I only want you around for sex?”