Unending Desire: Outlawed Realm, Book 1

by Tina Donahue

  Dedication

  To one-of-a-kind guys who are out of this world.

  Chapter One

  Undetected, Nikoli Zorr watched the woman sleep.

  His heartbeat continued to quicken, sending waves of warmth through his body. He whispered her name.

  “Regina Page.”

  A surge of pleasure weakened Nikoli’s limbs, awakening desire controlled for too long, giving him a taste of what it was like to be nothing more than a man. A creature of touch, taste, sight, sound, passion. Heat built in his groin. Desire flooded his thoughts.

  Behind him and to each side, monitors hummed, their lights blinking in response, reminders of his duty.

  Too easily, Nikoli ignored his responsibility and dared to whisper her first name again, testing the feel of it on his lips, embracing the sound, his attention riveted to the scene the portal between their dimensions revealed.

  Pearly morning light seeped past her bedroom’s filmy curtains. A steady rain greeted another Seattle morning, the water flowing in uneven ridges down the window’s glass.

  Regina’s dark lashes rested on her smooth cheeks. Her plush lips, tinted a soft rose, were parted slightly, her lovely features untroubled.

  Nikoli sensed she wasn’t dreaming. He knew she had no idea of the danger she faced tonight.

  His chest tightened at the horror of what today would bring to her if he didn’t intervene. Events Sazaar had put into motion weeks before when she’d crossed over to Regina’s side—a realm forbidden to all on E2. Searching for passion…for love…Sazaar had found Andris and a lingering death instead.

  Before fear and anger got the better of him at what Sazaar had done, Nikoli suppressed his emotions just as he’d been trained to do throughout his life. Only yearning for Regina remained. He couldn’t help himself. He didn’t want to.

  He regarded her lush mouth, the inviting temptation of her lips, the delicate sweep of her cheek, slender brows, her auburn hair brushed away from her cheek, the ends spilling over her snowy pillow and the side of the mattress. His lids slid down to narrow slits. He craved her as he had nothing else in his life. No, it hadn’t been a life but an existence. And now he realized what he’d missed, wanting her more than food, water, safety or honor.

  Wanting her to be with him.

  Images unwound in Nikoli’s mind of Regina straddling his body, draping her torso over his, the firm tips of her nipples brushing his chest, her reddish locks sweeping past his shoulders. In his thoughts, he saw her face above his, her smile welcoming, seductive, her passion free and reckless as she edged closer, teasing the seam of his lips with her tongue, spearing the hot, wet tip into his mouth, filling it, exploring.

  A sound he’d never made before escaped Nikoli’s throat. He focused on the picture his thoughts created, building upon the scene. He could almost feel the intense heat of her body, the slick depths of her cunt hugging his cock, offering it a home, a place of delight and refuge where he could—

  A sudden, steady wail cut through the space between their dimensions, chasing the scenes from his mind. Her alarm clock continued to shriek, the noise subdued on this side by the portal’s barrier.

  Eyes still closed, Regina flung her arm to the clock, her fingers fumbling blindly to shut off the noise. Nikoli smiled at her muffled oath. He watched as she threw back the covers and left the bed.

  On tiptoes, arms lifted above her, she stretched, her movements supple and sinuous. Nikoli swallowed. He stared at her dark green nightgown, the hem fluttering above her satiny thighs. Raindrops zigzagged down the window, creating faint shadows on her pale skin.

  He pulled his attention from them, watching the ends of Regina’s hair dangling past her shoulders.

  Without thinking, Nikoli reached out, his hand seeking the glossy strands, his fingers touching nothing but sterile air. Air hissed through his teeth.

  Arms lowered, Regina slipped the nightgown’s narrow straps past her shoulders. The silky fabric slid over the gentle swell of her breasts, catching briefly on her nipples before drifting to her waist.

  Partially bared, she turned her face to the window, the dreary day.

  Focused on her ripe flesh, Nikoli told himself he should turn away, knowing he would not. He feasted on her beauty, the succulent contours of her breasts, full and weighty, large enough to fill a man’s hands. His. He regarded the curve of her belly, the lavish flare of her hips.

  Regina wiggled them, encouraging her nightgown to fall past her thighs and pool at her feet. Stepping out of the garment, she grabbed her hair in both hands, twisting then lifting the locks from her shoulders.

  Nikoli’s mouth went dry. He forced down a swallow as he regarded the delicate curls between her legs, slightly darker than her other hair. Her belly rippled each time she inhaled. After a brief yawn, she turned and padded toward the bath.

  Unwilling to bear even more separation between them, Nikoli stepped closer to the gateway.

  With his movement, Regina stopped, releasing her hair. The strands swished left and right, exposing then hiding her shoulders. Turned to the side, she glanced at the window. The ashy light caressed her features, revealing her confusion.

  She’d felt him. She still did.

  Nikoli waited for Regina’s next move.

  A second ticked by. Then another. And another.

  She lowered her face, glancing at the hardwood floor.

  Again, he stepped closer.

  She went completely still, then turned facing the portal that Nikoli knew was invisible from her side. There, Regina would see nothing more than the wall of her bedroom, the pictures she’d hung.

  Here, the gateway resembled a wall of glass, allowing him to watch her without restriction. To see what he should not, to want what he wasn’t allowed to have. Didn’t matter. No rule could stop the longing coursing through him, followed by insatiable lust.

  Color rose to her cheeks. Desire transformed her features.

  “I feel it too,” he murmured.

  Regina’s lids fluttered as though she’d heard him, a matter Nikoli knew was impossible. She stepped closer and stared. Not seeing anything untoward, she studied either side of him.

  “I’m here,” he whispered.

  His words drew her nearer.

  In her green eyes—the color of a stormy sea—he saw loneliness as great as his. Behind it was the hope for something more, something thrilling and comforting. The touch of a hand, the promise in a glance, the solace of a caress.

  Her emotions didn’t last. She frowned in confusion.

  “You’ll know me tonight,” he said, a pledge he would keep no matter the consequences.

  Once more, Regina’s expression changed, frustrated need replacing her bewilderment. Again, she moved toward the bath, pausing twice to glance over her shoulder.

  She parted her lips on a brief sigh. He treasured the gentle sound, imagining the warmth of her breath skipping across his cheek, the fragrant musk of her body as he held her to him.

  Tonight. The word reverberated in his mind.

  Into the bath she went. The portal adjusted immediately, like the lens of a camera, moving closer, zooming in on the new room.

  She flicked on the wall switch. Antique light fixtures above the sink bathed the snug space in a gauzy golden glow. The illumination transformed her ivory skin into a shade resembling ripe wheat. Her cheeks continued to pink up.

  Bypassing the claw-footed tub, she entered the more modern glass-enclosed shower, turning her front then her back to the water’s flow. The pulsating spray had hardened her nipples. Water beaded on her chest and ran in unruly streams down her torso and belly.

  Again Nikoli reached out as thoug
h to touch, to experience, a riot of pleasurable sensations jolting him. He watched the silvery beads journeying to her navel. Water circled the small depression, then moved lower, trapped in the dark auburn curls between her legs. His mind imagined their springiness on his tongue, the taste of her hidden lips beneath.

  She stepped to the right, facing him.

  It was nearly more than he could bear.

  On a sigh, Regina sagged into the shower’s wall, her left shoulder obscuring the enameled tiles decorated with blue-and-yellow flowers. Face turned away from the spray, she ran one hand across her breasts, her fingers squeezing their rounded contours, her palms massaging the nipples while her other hand dipped to her curls, searching for the small rise of flesh above her labia.

  Her clit, Nikoli thought, a word he’d heard in her dimension, one unknown in E2, the same as impetuous desire and unrestrained passion. Helpless to stop himself, he observed Regina stroking her sensitive nub. Faster than he would have believed possible and certainly quicker than Sazaar had ever responded to his touch, Regina blew out a sigh, her expression strained with arousal, her brows drawing together in a frown of concentration.

  Steam billowed around her. Water licked her flesh. She seemed unaware, concentrating on her pleasure. Her thighs tensed first. In his peripheral vision, Nikoli saw her toes splay, then curl. She dug her shoulder into the tiled wall, using it for support. Briskly, repeatedly, she moved her fingers over her clit, her mouth hanging open on a silent cry of delight.

  Pleasure he wanted to give to her.

  Finished and sated for the moment, Regina draped her arms over her head and gulped the misty air.

  Nikoli forced down a swallow.

  To his left, he heard footfalls hurrying down the hall, approaching the door to his lab. No doubt one of his colleagues come to discuss a matter of importance. Nikoli’s belly cramped with worry. And yet, his mind resisted closing the portal, losing sight of Regina for even a moment.

  The individual coughed.

  Caution won out. With the pulse points in his temple and throat pounding hard, Nikoli swept his hand in front of the monitor nearest him. A series of characters flashed on its screen. The footfalls stopped outside his door.

  The gateway’s transparency turned opaque. Where there had once been a window into Regina’s realm, there now stood a blank wall.

  Tonight, his thoughts whispered to her. He’d cross over as Sazaar had done, only not through a spontaneous portal as she had, but one he’d create, using a device he’d built. An instrument outlawed on E2.

  The reality of his actions should have troubled Nikoli, but it did not. Already he’d lied to his people, explaining Sazaar’s absence as a retreat she’d planned to take so she could clear her mind for the work that lay ahead.

  No one but Nikoli knew what she’d become after Andris had turned her. How she threatened Regina and E2’s existence.

  Turning from the wall and its now hidden portal, Nikoli responded to the light rapping on his door, placing his hand on the barrier to open it.

  In the hall stood his father, a scientist, the same as Nikoli. Elegant in appearance, his hair a silvery gray, the older man wore an expression of complete trust.

  Never had Nikoli been as ashamed at the lies he would soon tell the man. How he would continue to betray everything he was supposed to believe in so he could save Regina.

  A woman forbidden to him. One for whom he was prepared to risk a charge of treason. One for whom he was planning to die.

  Chapter Two

  Seated in her leather wing chair, Regina observed her patient, a young man with generalized anxiety and panic disorder, her specialty. At thirty-one, she’d been a licensed psychologist for seven years, witnessing fear and anguish on a daily basis.

  She liked to think of herself as involved, caring, determined to bring her patients relief.

  Today, she found it difficult to think. Impatience ate at her. Anticipation hummed in her blood. For what?

  She had no idea.

  Her thoughts returned to this morning, the sense of someone watching her in her bedroom. Not an unpleasant or frightening sensation as it should have been. Rather, she’d been unexpectedly excited, a welcome thrill racing through her, causing her skin to tingle and her body to want. Oh God, had it wanted. Never before had she masturbated in her shower. Somehow, it had seemed needed, necessary.

  Her twenty-something patient cleared his throat.

  Brought back to the moment, Regina focused on him, suppressing a frown of annoyance. She wanted him to leave so she could be alone and think this through. No, she corrected herself; she didn’t want to think, she wanted to feel, to relive the pleasure from this morning.

  “I still can’t go out,” her patient admitted, fear rasping his words. “It’s too overwhelming.”

  With his mournful admission, Regina concentrated on him. Painstakingly groomed, he wore an expensive camel-hair jacket, tawny cashmere sweater and designer jeans.

  When Regina had been a child living in poverty, the cost of his clothing would have represented several months’ salary for her mother. For him, the garments and his job as a successful software engineer gave him no sense of power or freedom from his doubts. He gnawed the edge of his thumb, sneaking a peek at her, then glancing away in embarrassment.

  Last week, empathy had welled in her for him, as it did for all of her patients. Tonight, Regina forced herself to maintain composure, to bury her annoyance as she explained the obvious. “You said you can’t go out, yet you came here. You were able to leave your condo, drive several miles, come through the crowded building and arrive at my office. That’s a remarkable feat.”

  A glimmer of hope raced across his youthful features, replaced quickly by doom. Wrapping his arms around his well-fed frame, he rocked and muttered, “Why is this so fucking hard for me? Why can’t I be like everyone else and work in an office with other people rather than hiding in my room all day? If it wasn’t for my boss letting me program from home, I wouldn’t even have a job.”

  “We all have our fears. Together, we’ll work through yours.”

  He remained unconvinced. For the rest of his hour, he spoke of each defeat he’d endured during the last seven days. Repeatedly, Regina reminded him of the small victories, then fell silent as he did, her thoughts continuing to drift, her body hungering for what she’d encountered this morning.

  The feeling that somehow she wasn’t alone any longer. A sense of being wanted and loved that she’d never experienced with any man. There had been too few in her life, none memorable, none touching her soul.

  “Dr. Page?”

  Regina started at the sound of her name. Her patient stood near his chair, shifting his weight from foot to foot, anxiety not allowing him a moment’s rest. Did he want to run from here now? Had she spoken her thoughts aloud, unknowingly causing more distress?

  A moment passed. When she said nothing, he asked, “My hour’s up…isn’t it?”

  His hesitation touched her, making Regina feel bad for her previous irritation and inattention. She offered a gentle smile. “Yes, it is.” Walking him to the door leading into the reception area, she said, “Work on those exercises we talked about. Record each victory, no matter how small you believe it to be. Remember, every panic attack has a beginning, a middle and an end. It will be over.”

  His meaty shoulders slumped. “Not soon enough. It’s never soon enough.” With a heavy sigh, he moved toward the exit, offering a nod of farewell to Carly, Regina’s receptionist.

  The young woman watched the outer door swing shut, then tapped her finger against her computer screen. “Your next appointment cancelled a few minutes ago. Claimed to have a flat tire. I told her she’d be charged for the hour. Didn’t faze her at all.” With a shrug, Carly brought down her hand.

  Regina glanced at the heels of Carly’s boots rapping the hardwood floor. A sure sign she wanted to get out of here as badly as Regina did, though for different reasons. Having recently given birth, C
arly couldn’t wait to get home to her new baby and husband.

  What many would have considered an ordinary life, perhaps even dull. Compared to Regina’s, it was Las Vegas on steroids. Tonight, as all her other nights, she’d return to an empty house, eat a solitary meal, then read patient files before exhaustion drove her to sleep.

  Maybe she should start prowling singles’ chat rooms, then take the ultimate leap to an Internet dating service.

  Or get a cat. Maybe a dog. Possibly both.

  “Looks like you have an hour to kill before your last appointment of the day,” Carly said.

  Leaning against her doorjamb, Regina had an overwhelming urge to cancel her final patient, telling her something had come up, that the doctor wouldn’t be able to see her tonight.

  “Hey, you okay?” Carly asked, leaning forward in her chair, her blue eyes narrowed in scrutiny.

  Uncertain how to answer, Regina lied. “Sure.”

  Carly regarded her for a long moment, then sucked her bottom lip.

  “How about you?” Regina asked. “Everything all right?”

  Guilt flashed across her face. With her short black hair and pretty features, she resembled a young Demi Moore in that old movie Ghost. She even spoke with a trace of Demi’s huskiness. “Can I take off a little early? The sitter called. She said Emma’s been fussy all day. I think she’s getting a cold. Poor little thing. The sitter took her temperature three times. It’s a bit elevated, and I—”

  “Go,” Regina interrupted. “Take care of your daughter.”

  Dimples on both sides of Carly’s mouth deepened with her grin. Nodding gratefully, she opened her bottom desk drawer and pulled out her purse.

  Regina turned to go back into her office, then stopped abruptly at the sensation of warmth enveloping her. A thrilling jolt of heat as though a lover had wrapped her in his powerful embrace.

  Someone’s watching.

  The thought happened before she could stop it. She glanced at the front door to her office suite, half expecting someone…a man…to be standing there, an expression of wonder and longing on his face, his body as needy as hers.