Calliope's Wings

by Guin Archer

  “How do you know of this place?” I slid from Sekhmet’s back, Ruune’s confident hands guiding me safely down, and padded over the cool rock that was more like black glass or onyx. My curious fingers sought out the colorful algae, but the Xerbai shackled my wrists from behind, preventing the strokes I wanted to give them just millimeters away.

  “Do not touch them, uum Taytani. They are fragile. Opari, but soft and in need of protection.” He nuzzled me again. Always cuddling me. “My dame presented me here. This was my home until I was taken for my training to become Zikta.”

  “How many winters were you?”

  “Five.” At my disgusted gasp, he chuckled. His hands slid up my arms in a delicious glide before one of his fingers teased my jaw until I closed it again. Then he pressed the pad of his thumb against my lips to keep me from complaining. “It is the way of the Udon, Calliope-uumat. Los’kah shimi are always taken for the chance of honoring their blood.”

  “It made me ill,” I admitted sourly to him before shaking off his hold and trudging over to a large stone. I used it as an impromptu chair and sighed a gusty breath. Ruune came to his knees in front of me, pressing himself as tight as he could get to my legs. His arms wrapped around them while he balanced his chin on my knees. Automatically, I reached out my mangled hand to pet his scalp. He hummed gladly, unabashedly enjoying his subservient role to me.

  “You are soft of heart,” he murmured up to me. I could feel his claws raking gently against where a multitude of my scars were. I quit flinching away whenever they were looked at or touched a long time ago. That happened to a person when you looked like a patchwork quilt of flesh and bone even Buffalo Bill wouldn’t’ve fucked with.

  Okay, I wasn’t that bad, but no amount of lotion on the skin would make me look good again.

  “You have been through much. You are brave. You are goran. No other could survive what You have, I am sure.” His voice turned down a little and became sad. “I desire to know Your past, but I will not bother You any longer to speak. You will if and when You are ready.

  “Know, uum Taytani, that this lowly one sees beyond Your Zikta shell to the biis’a beneath. You are Innintani in every way. Strong and unbreakable, but with a heart that is full for all others. You will one sol be a dame as glorious as Miri this lune last. I pray to the One that You will remain here with us…with me…instead of returning to Skyvryn. I know it is selfish, but I need You. I need Your light and heart or I will die. I cannot…I cannot be without You now.”

  My hand was paused on his scalp as I fought not to dig my nails into his skin. I didn’t want to hurt him, but his words struck me broadside. My chin bowed into my chest.

  “I want to tell you about my Dorai,” I croaked out. I swallowed until a little bit of spit managed to dislodge the frog determined to wedge itself in my throat. “I cannot share with you about what hurts I have faced, but I can share him. I have not spoken of him in a very long time and I miss him.”

  “I will listen.”

  I knew he would. So, with another, shakier exhale, I began to tell the Tauren male that was my Xerbai about the man who would always have my soul, no matter that he was gone.

  “He was called Mackenzie and he had my heart.”

  I talked and talked. Talked until my voice was hoarse and my heart felt lighter.

  Ruune was a great listener. He even asked questions about Mac and me, about our pasts together. When I told him about the aneurysm that took Mac from me, Ruune was patient in hearing my choppy explanation of what that was.

  He hugged me tight, having switched us at some point to resting against the napping Sekhmet with me cuddled up on his lap, and promised profusely never to allow his brain to bleed and take him from me. I told him it wasn’t something anyone could prevent, but he vowed he would. He saw how much Mac’s death hurt me and wouldn’t hear anything about doing the same thing to me.

  It was touching.

  Noise outside of the cave is what brought us around and back to the real world.

  Sekhmet warbled to the bronze male Mahzri outside and nudged the back of my adorned head, clearly signaling that we were missed by the Horde. I huffed out a breath, not really thrilled to be rushed out of our private world. Ruune mumbled his upset, too, but was more accommodating than me. He drew us both up, though he didn’t set me onto my feet. He just fixed me without a word onto my girl’s back.

  I gripped his hands before he could pull them away from my hips to climb up behind me. He blinked at me in clear surprise.

  “You have my heart, Ruune.” I swallowed my nerves. “We call this ‘love’. I love you, Ruune. I want you with me always, but I do not know what is to come for us. For me. Know my vow, though, to protect you always. No matter what I have to do, I will keep you safe.”

  “Uum Calliope,” he purred deeply and happily, “You have no need to keep me safe. I will never allow myself to hurt or be hurt so that You will never have to worry for me. Instead, let me tend to You as the One intended for me to. Let me love You.”

  Hearing the English word roll off his tongue set my heart to racing giddily and my womb clenching. Love! Dear God; he loved me and I loved him. It took me dying more often than a myotonic goat fainted and transporting to a whole new world – paging my inner Jasmine – to find a romantic love after losing Mac, but I did it.

  Now the hard part…

  How was I supposed to move beyond my tormented past on Intau? Moreover, how could I stay in the world that was proven time and again to kill me? Even for a man – possibly even men if I included the unstable relationship I had with Kor – that I loved. Was love enough to outweigh my hatred of Intau? If it was, would it even matter? For all I knew, one of these days I might not come back after dying or I could be thrown back to Earth like the past years were only a bad dream.

  I felt a little sick even thinking that way.

  Only, I didn’t know anymore if I dreaded staying on Intau or being dragged from it.

  I was a little distracted as Big Mama carried us back to where the Udonak was settled on the cliff. Not too lost, though, to miss the busy-bees that were the slaves cultivating the giant blooms. Mahzri burdened with massive woven baskets across their flanks stood placidly nearby so the slaves – who were standing with more grace and poise than I ever possessed – on the long stretch of their backs could drop the blooms in.

  I only knew this because Sekhmet made sure to bring us abreast of at least a dozen harvesters on our way back.

  Once returned to the Udonak, we made no other detours to my pillau. Ruune leapt off before Sekhmet had even come to a complete stop. He was right there, as always, and pulled me down into his arms. He carried me into the opened hut where a bath waited, my ladies gathered around to help me bathe.

  No privacy, not really, for their precious queen.

  Once I was undressed and helped into the steaming liquid, because heaven forbid I bathed myself, a subdued Mari’et passed bites of jupango into my mouth while Tok and Orla busied themselves with washing my hands to within an inch of their lives. Heat suffused my cheeks at being babied by my friend and it was only by the skin of my teeth that I didn’t turn my head away from her feeding hand. I told myself it would’ve been worse to throw a tantrum.

  Still, the stilted silence of the pillau told me very loudly that they were aware of my freak-out last night. How couldn’t they know? Their tent was directly in line with mine for easier service.

  Now I quadruply felt like an ass. A USDA-Certified burro. Jackass of the highest caliber.

  “Yakpa,” I half-ordered, half-begged. Their eyes met mine and seemed to read the desperation in them. They began to chatter quietly about their chores. They talked about the harvest of the flowers. What needed to be done in the coming weeks. No mention of last night, not even to titter about their own celebrations with the other slaves.

  As Tan fussed with my hair to redo it into a stylized mohawk-braid-thing with my bakal and serah woven throughout, I hated that I’d singlehandedl
y ruined whatever camaraderie I’d built with them. There was no doubt they felt uneasy around me now.

  Once I was cleaned, I was put into a now-familiar gauzy dress – the chains of my full-body bakal resecured from my collar to my wrists – and ushered outside to sit on a patented lounger of Lubrei-making stacked on all sides with pillows. One of the outer panels of the pillau, which insofar had never been lashed closed, was notched up on poles to create a long, wide shade to protect my white skin from the glaring sun. I hadn’t had any lotion smeared on before being herded out.

  Trays loaded down with food and pitchers of drinks appeared along with my ashati and various accoutrements that I never toyed with. I wasn’t into needlepoint like Gaddi and the books were wasted on me since I couldn’t really read any language from Intau. I was passible with signs and numbers, but reading wasn’t something I needed to devote my time to. Being street smart was more important. Being able to understand spoken-word was vital to my health and well-being. Other bric-a-brac I couldn’t even name were piled up with the rest.

  Then I was left primarily alone, Mari’et being the only one to linger within reach. Of course, ‘reach’ meant far enough away to discourage chitchat.

  I looked for Ruune desperately, finding him busy with the others doing their chores with the addition of cutting the seeds from the blooms being brought around by the basketful. I could see him looking my way periodically, but he was leaving me alone when I didn’t really want to be.

  I was turning into a needy bitch.

  Sekhmet’s chirrup drew my eye over to where she was lumbering over. Her hide was glistening, so I guessed she’d gone for a dip in the lake while I was getting my bath. I summoned a wide grin for her, unable to help myself. My girl would always be able to make me smile now that I knew her so well. She would always be a scary beastie, but she couldn’t terrify me like the Mahzri used to.

  Just like back in Granzee, she situated herself to my side like a guardian sphinx, set her arms crossways in front of her, and laid full on her stomach and chest with her plated muzzle curling around the front of my feet. I pressed my bare toes into her warm mouthplates and giggled when her tendrils immediately snuck out to tickle between them.

  With nothing else to do, I picked up my ashati and began to play.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Uptip found me rather than me needing to search her out.

  That was probably for the best.

  I pursed my lips and kept on strumming as she found a seat on one of the pillows beside me. She was snide and rude as she tried to command my ladies into catering to her petty whims. I was inordinately proud of them when they didn’t so much as twitch in their tasks. When her cheeks darkened with rage, I plucked a chord wrong on purpose and gave her a sideways glare.

  “Have your own kut tend to you, Rahvashti Uptip…not mine. They are busy and doing as I have commanded them.” Not true on the ‘command’ part, but why not milk it?

  “What of this one?” She gestured in a way I didn’t like at all to Mari’et. She even sneered her pearly whites at her.

  I looked at my healer friend out of the corner of my eye and saw her gritting her teeth a very-not-subservient way. She was more like me than she thought. No one had knocked the fire out of her even if she was licking some of her wounds.

  Mari was currently, and had been since morning, making poultices and herbal remedies for the Udon. While our innate magical abilities were preferred for healing, we couldn’t always help those in need. Sometimes, too, the ones in need of help had pretty basic booboos. Or we could send out the tonics on wagons for other cities or along with the ships.

  Smiling to myself, I admitted that we had made a pretty good team for as short a time as I’d been Mathai’s slave.

  How long had that been? Three months? Four? Who knew.

  Big Mama hissed in threat at the cunt of a woman when she opened her mouth, no doubt to pressure me into answering her. Her jaws snapped shut so quick and so hard I expected her molars to crack down to the roots. She cast her black, but abundantly nervous eyes to my girl. The Xxyx clacked her mouthplates back, death written in every line of her gargantuan body.

  “Forgive me, Xxyx, for speaking against you and She. Your Vashti is wise, as always.”

  Kiss ass.

  Uptip mumbled and groused to herself as she made herself comfortable. She tried for some of my snacks and beverage, but Sekhmet’s tail slashed between us, cutting the other woman’s path off before she could manage even a pinch of food between her jewel-encrusted claws.

  “I repeat myself,” I drawled with deliberate slowness, “why do you not have your own kut tend to you?”

  “She had their heads removed and placed on pikes, uum Taytani,” one of my Zikta guard growled as he stepped out from the shadows. He genuflected to me immediately, but sneered at Uptip.

  “What did your kut do to warrant such an end?” I was proud of how even I kept my tone. Inwardly, my stomach churned unpleasantly. I’d had my own head lopped off once by a rider on his mount in the North. I’d been escaping with a group of other slaves. I remember a sharp pain at the back of my neck and then blackness before reawakening in another life. There was a long, barely-there scar that circled my throat cleanly and told me what happened at the end of that life.

  I shuddered to think of what it would’ve been like to see the killing blow coming. After all, I didn’t doubt that Uptip would’ve made it an affair when she commanded the death of her slaves.

  Rohahn, my ‘old’ guard, didn’t give Uptip a chance to respond. He was incensed. I could read it in the tautness of his muscled form. Behind him, the angry fucker that’d grabbed Ruune by his neck when I still thought he was a she came forward, too, his hands gripping Zek even more viciously. One of the Muir’s arms was visibly broken, an eye swollen shut, and a fanged tooth missing.

  Zek was thrown at Sekhmet’s feet where he cowered under her looming head.

  “This bishtak was found looking through Your itchto, uum Taytani.” Big Mama backhanded Zek when he dared to try and lift his gaze from the ground. Uptip gasped at the abuse her brother suffered.

  “What was your name, Zikta?” I made solid eye-to-eye contact with the gold-tatted warrior.

  “Forte, uum Taytani.”

  “Dashka, Forte.”

  “Innintani! You allow these los’kah to treat your future Muir this way?!” When Uptip made a move to stand, three of my slaves were suddenly behind her and pinning her down by her shoulders and arms. She screeched in affront, but she didn’t have nearly the strength of even one of my well-fed, work-hardened ladies, let alone three of them. Tan, in specific, was a beast for her physical strength.

  “You will sit until auum Taytani bids you to stand, Rahvashti Uptip,” the head of my attendants sneered into Uptip’s tall ears.

  “You cannot say such…” Uptip continued to caterwaul until I took my hand at swinging my palm around. The back of my adorned palm beat against her cheek, the serah stretching to my fingers clanking brusquely from the blow. Uptip blinked dazedly at me, clearly disbelieving that someone actually struck her.

  I kinda felt giddy at being, I assumed, the first to do it.

  “Tell me the reason you killed your kut before we move on to the matter of your brago.” I smiled in a not-nice way. “Tell me only truth, Uptip, or you will not enjoy the consequences.”

  I could both see the indecision on her face as well as in her aura. She wanted to lie to me, but she had loyalty to her brother. It might’ve been her only redeeming quality.

  Seeing him laid out under the boot of Rohahn, who was grinning evilly at the otherwise snide bastard, was hurting Uptip and making her squirm.

  “They were planning to run from me. Disloyal kut are not worth the effort to whip into shape. They would have betrayed me!” She gritted her teeth and sniffed her nose inelegantly. “They attempted to steal my coin before running. To go through my things…it is unforgivable!”

  Too late she realized that she
’d backed herself into a corner. Her brother had been found snooping around in my wagon. So, by her own word, she was saying it was okay for me to have Zek’s head severed and shoved onto a pike for everyone to see.

  A pleasant image – not – and one I falsely pondered for several moments just to watch the bitch wriggle in rising panic.

  I wouldn’t do it, though. Not yet, at any rate.

  “Where did you learn the song, Uptip?” I was purposely neglecting her all-important title. She wasn’t deserving of it and, knowing I had a say in her keeping it or not, I knew that by the end of this conversation she’d be just another no-name in the heard. A female without title or power.

  I relished in imagining her stripped of everything and brought down low. I’d bring her lower than the sands if I could without burying her dead.

  “What?”

  “Where…did you…learn…the song.” I glared at her, setting aside my ashati. Ruune sidled up to take it away, though he kept a wary eye on the scene unfolding.

  Actually, we had quite the audience. I could see the Hordsepeople packed in along the perimeter, their attentions rapt. I could feel dislike coming off of their auras in waves and I knew it was aimed at the awful siblings rather than myself. Thank God.

  “It…it is an old bard, uum Innintani. One I learned many seasons ago from my dam and her’s before her.”

  Ooh, what’d I say about lying to me, honey?

  I lashed forward and clenched the bridge of her nose between my thumb and the rest of my palm. She groaned as I squeezed it painfully tight. The hold, I knew, could break the cartilage away from bone. And it hurt like a motherfucker.

  “What did you do to the Innintani who taught you that song?” I leaned into her space, bringing my mouth close to her ear. “I know you have done wrong, Uptip. Yakpa. Do so and you may be spared.”

  “I have done no wrong!” She bellowed this out, struggling to both be free from my ladies and to lash out at me, but she was held hard and fast. Her fight, though, earned her the loud break I gave her nose. Her outraged shout turned to a pained howl.