by Floyd, Susan
“Only if we don’t get through in time,” Dexter reminded her.
“Don’t forget about slides,” Jim Wells said.
“Slides?” Dexter looked at Jim.
The older man nodded. “You need to be careful about mud slides. Once this slate gets soaked, the whole side of the mountain might come down on you.”
“How long do you think we have?” Randy asked.
“A day,” Jim estimated. “If it continues, we’ll be benched until this storm’s over. Then another week until things dry out.”
“I wouldn’t mind that. Then you’d definitely be here for Thanksgiving,” Clem offered brightly.
They ignored her.
“Who knows where those cows will be next week,” Ryan said thoughtfully. “They’re certainly not going to be waiting for us to come back. Right now we’ve got them holed up, and they aren’t going anywhere until this rain passes.”
“It’s up to you, boss,” Randy looked at Dexter.
“No. It’s up to Clem.” Dexter said quietly.
Clem shook her head. “Nope. I’m not making decisions like these. You guys know what you can do.”
“This is your call. Do you think we can do it?” Dexter asked.
“The horses are fresh. How fresh are you?” Clem looked around. “I know I’m fresh. I’ve had nearly three weeks’ rest.”
Ryan grinned. “Fresh enough. Got a whole six hours of sleep last night.”
Clem hesitated.
“Come on, Clem. You can do it,” Randy encouraged her.
She really wanted to go home. She wanted to be dry. She wanted to be safe. She swallowed hard, and a few seconds felt like hours passing. They were waiting for her to make a decision, but there was no judgment in their eyes, only friendship. She sighed heavily. “Let’s stop talking and get going.”
“Clem?” Her father asked. “Are you sure?”
Clem nodded. “Let’s do it.”
Clem expected her words to send terror coursing through her; instead there was only a little twinge. As she rode Archie across the wide pasture, up the muddy trail where the cows were, she realized that instead of fear, she was feeling anticipation. Her heart was thumping not because she was terrified, but because she was excited.
Why?
I’m not asking you to go, Clem. I want you to ask yourself the real reason you don’t want to go…. I just want you to accept who you really are.
Dexter’s words came back to her. And she grinned in realization. Who would have thought a retired cowboy would have been able to give her herself?
“Quit daydreaming, Clem. We’ve got work to do!” Randy hollered.
Clem looked up to see that Dexter had dropped back to trot with her.
“How you doing?” Dexter asked.
She nodded, wanting to shout, wanting to stop and hug him. She’d found herself for the first time in thirty-two years and she had him to thank for that.
“Fine,” she said.
He searched her face. “You look strong,” he commented.
“I am strong,” Clementine stated. His smile reached his eyes. He tipped his hat to her, some water running in front of his face. “Good luck today. We’ll talk later,” he promised.
Then he rode to catch up with Randy.
Clem couldn’t wait. After this was over, after all the cows were accounted for, she and Dexter would need to take a ride somewhere in his truck and talk and talk and talk. But now was the time for work.
When they reached the glen there was a little break in the weather, and Clem beheld the most beautiful sight she’d ever seen—the last two hundred cows. Even after Dex and the Millers had arrived, she hadn’t allowed herself to completely believe there’d be an end to this fiasco. But there the cows were, and here she was. She shook her head, truly appreciating the hard work that these men had accomplished over the past weeks.
“Careful, these are a little more jittery than the last,” Dexter warned, when she brought Archie up close to Calisto.
Clem laughed. “More jittery?” She couldn’t imagine.
“If we get them from behind, we can turn them along the channel.”
Ryan indicated the desired route with his fingers. “Once through that, there’s only one way to go and that’s right into a corral at the bottom.”
It seemed too easy to Clem. “Unless the path gives way. This rain isn’t going to let up more than this, is it?”
They all looked up at the clouds, which darkened and rolled as she spoke.
Jim agreed with her. “If the path goes, we’ll end up with more than a few stuck cows.”
“It’s a tight one,” Ryan said, his head angled toward the herd. “If ever we have a chance to do this, it’s now.”
Clem sucked in her breath. “So it’s now.”
She glanced at Dexter, who was studying the terrain below them. Finally he looked at her, water dripping off the back of his hat. He flashed her an encouraging smile.
He turned to Jim. “You and Ryan take the back. We’ll take the side. When you’re ready, drive the cows our way. We’ll take our cue from you.”
“Just be sure to stay away from the wall. Once they get going, we have to stay behind or they’ll run right over us.”
“Okay. Let’s do it.”
Her heart pounded in her chest, and Clem didn’t even feel the ache in her ribs or the cold on her face, but she did feel a little fear. Just a little.
Dexter urged Calisto right next to her. “You don’t have to do this,” he said, his voice low, his eyes scanning her face.
“Are you telling me you don’t want me to do this?” she asked. If he said, yes, she would leave in a heartbeat. “If you say so, I’ll go home right now. Honest. I will.”
His face was torn. “Don’t ask me that.”
“Just say, ‘Clem, I think you’re still a little bruised. Why don’t you sit this out?’” she encouraged him. “Then I’ll just turn around and go home.”
Dexter was silent. “It’s very dangerous.”
She fiddled with Joanna’s locket. “Are you telling me to go home?”
Dexter’s eyes were trained on her hand, on the locket. After a long moment, he shook his head and said clearly, “No.”
She swallowed hard, her heart hurting because she knew exactly what that single word had cost him to say. Even though he wouldn’t forgive himself for Joanna, he still was willing to take a risk for her. She felt her resolve strengthen. If he had that much faith in her, then she should have it in herself.
“Clem.”
“Yes?”
“I just want you to know that I’ll do everything I can to keep you safe.”
She touched his cheek. “You already have.”
His green eyes flickered over her face, and his mouth settled into a vulnerable line. “Okay, let’s go get them.”
She nodded. “Let’s go get them.”
The fifteen minutes it took for them to get into position seemed like an eternity. Dexter deliberately kept his distance, probably as much for her peace of mind as his. He directed her to her spot with a wave of his hand. In position, Jim and Ryan started the herd, and as hoped, the cattle began to herd in the right direction.
It was invigorating.
The feel of Archie beneath her, the whipping of the rain across her face gave her an adrenaline rush that she’d never allowed herself to enjoy before. There was no way in the world that she could ever feel this way if she was stuck in the kitchen. There was nothing wrong with cooking, but this was better.
In this imperfect setting, she’d found peace. She had a place, a purpose. Here, action was ten times more valued than thinking. She’d spent too much of her time thinking, too much time being afraid. Now was the time for doing.
And suddenly, the kiss she’d planted on Dexter the morning she’d found him was no longer a source of embarrassment. She laughed out loud. It was the symbol of a woman who was acting on who she was. From now on, she needed to do what she wanted. She needed
to go out on her own, without the safety net provided by her parents, by Dexter.
She needed to depend on herself.
DEXTER SHOULD HAVE BEEN thinking about the job, but he was absorbed by the beauty and the joy on Clem’s face. She was drenched, but her face was flushed with excitement. He felt a deep twinge. That was exactly how Joanna had looked when she was riding. That was exactly the expression she always had in her eyes.
“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” Randy asked from beside him.
Dexter looked at his friend sideways and agreed. “Yes, she is. But she’s not like Joanna.”
Randy gave him a half smile. “No, she’s not. She’s very different.”
“Joanna would have liked Clem.”
Randy smiled. “I think they would have been the best of friends.”
“You think Joanna was happy?”
Randy nodded. “I know she was.”
Archie had begun to prance in place as they waited for the cattle to reach them, and Clem laughed in delight.
“My God,” he whispered. “It’s as wrong to try to suppress that spirit as it is to hobble a horse.”
Randy nodded. “She was meant to be out here. Just like Joanna was.”
“Clem wanted me to stop her. She wanted me to tell her to go home.”
“Aren’t you glad you didn’t?” Randy smiled. “That’s why I’ve always mourned Joanna, but never regretted anything, not one thing.”
Dexter finally understood, and he felt the weight of his guilt lift from his shoulders. Before he could thank his friend, Clem let out a whoop. The cattle were coming.
The clamor was deafening, and pounding hooves shook the ground. Dexter forgot about Clem as he watched to see which way the cattle were heading. The cows seemed complacent. They’d been holed up in the rain, and all they wanted to do was get to a dry place.
Dexter sighed in relief. They would be done inside two hours. They would be wet and cold, but the bulk of the work would be done. No doubt, there would still be some strays to find, but he knew the area was pretty much cleared.
He watched a smiling Clem handle her part of the line with expertise. Her father was shouting something at her and she waved and nodded. Then she shot a glance in his direction and her smile widened. Dexter had to look away the smile was so bright.
Over the next hour, Dexter knew what he had to do. Tonight after they’d cleaned up and celebrated, he’d drive her to town. They had so much to say to each other, so many things to plan. They’d find a small, dark restaurant and talk. Really talk. About the stuff that women liked to talk about. Feelings. Love. He could do that.
“Careful!” Ryan’s shout of warning made Dexter look up.
The cows were getting a little out on line of Jim’s side, but the older man soon got them organized again. Dexter tried to find Clem in the clamor, but the rain obscured his view.
There were two more shouts, and then he heard Clem swearing and relief flooded through him.
As they all advanced to the point at which the path narrowed, he saw that Clem was close to the mountain slope. He stood up on Calisto, silently urging her to be careful about getting pinned. When he couldn’t see her, his heart thudded in his throat. He released the breath he hadn’t known he’d held when Archie could suddenly be seen behind a tree with Clementine safely on board. She was fine. Today was going to be a good day.
A loud expletive had Dexter starting to search. Who was in trouble? Then he saw Jim Wells was being squeezed toward the bank of the creek by the cows. He was at the narrowest point of the paths, where the cows had to be slowed to single file. Dexter spurred his horse to see what he could do. Before he could get there, Clem and Archie appeared. She’d doubled back when she’d heard her father’s yell. Somehow, she managed to slow the cattle, so Jim could shoot through. Dexter, who was on the other side of the herd, could only watch.
Behind her the cows were coming up fast, and she and Archie were caught in the flow.
DEXTER SAW A SMALL OPENING. If he could drive the cows toward the side, Clem might have a chance to get through. He didn’t dare think about what would happen if he failed. And he definitely wouldn’t think about the fact that if he’d told her to go home, she would have turned around and gone. He raced toward the last place he’d seen Clem, but went cold when he heard Archie scream. Frantic, he searched for Clem. Nowhere. It was as if she’d disappeared off the face of the earth.
As the last of the cows surged forward, he saw Jim Wells riding toward him, his face drawn and pale.
“Where is she?” His voice was ragged, and he never stopped looking for his daughter.
Dexter didn’t say anything, just spurred Calisto toward the creek bank. Jim Wells was right behind him.
It was eerie how quiet it had become. The rain had calmed to a drizzle and the sound of hoofbeats dimmed as the herd moved away. Dex saw the trampled body of one of the dogs and stopped cold. He didn’t want to look any further. He couldn’t look. It was the same thing that had happened with Joanna.
“I think she disappeared around here.” Clem’s father pointed as he dismounted, slipping in the mud. “I can’t see anything. Damn it, Scott. Help me find her. She needs our help. She could be dead.”
“No!” Dexter denied, his voice fierce with his feelings as he bolted off Calisto. “Clem is not dead. She’s stronger than that.” The anguish in the older man’s voice broke through the hold that had held Dexter frozen.
Randy and Ryan came racing over.
“Who went down?” Randy asked.
“Clem!” Dexter shouted. “She went down around here.”
Randy and Ryan were off their horses in a split second, the four of them searching through the deep brush and mud for Clementine.
“Oh, God. There she is,” Dexter yelled, and was sliding down the ravine, mud smearing the back of his slicker. “Randy, she’s right over there, by you!”
It seemed as if it took an eternity for Dexter to make his way to Clem. He prayed the entire time.
“She’s still alive. She’s breathing!” Randy yelled.
She was breathing. Clem was breathing.
“Ryan, call 911,” Randy ordered. He was gently feeling Clem’s limbs.
Ryan was already talking rapidly into his cell phone.
“Clem, can you hear me?” Dexter talked softly in her ear, as he grasped her hand.
Clem didn’t respond.
“Clem, hold on.” Jim was beside him. “Don’t worry. They’ve got a great hospital. They’ll send in a helicopter. She’ll be at the hospital in no time.”
“They want to talk to you, Jim. You know best how to direct them here.” Ryan handed the phone to the older man, who walked away a few steps and began to talk with great authority. Dexter felt a small squeeze on his hand. Clem was staring up at him.
“Hey, Clem,” Dexter greeted her. “I think you were trying to take the herd on all by yourself.”
She gave a weak smile.
“Did you think you could fly?” he asked.
“D-Dad?” It took every ounce of energy for her to gasp out the word.
“He’s fine,” Dexter said, brushing her hair back from her face. The scar from her last fall was still livid. “He’s right here, giving directions to everyone.”
She nodded and closed her eyes.
A long minute crept by and her eyes opened again.
“Ar-Archie?”
Dexter looked up. He hadn’t even thought about Archie.
Ryan leaned over, his face sad. “Sorry, Clem. He didn’t make it.”
Clem closed her eyes. Tears leaked out the sides.
“Y-you w-were r-right.” She tried to lift her hand from his.
He held on tighter, thinking she could take warmth from him. “About what?’
“D-dangerous.” She tried to laugh and wheezed instead. “Am I okay?”
“Your dad’s making arrangements to get you out of here. You’ll be fine. Anything feel broken?”
“Everythi
ng feels broken.” Clem attempted another smile, then passed out.
Jim clicked off the phone and noticed her closed eyes. “Is she…”
Dexter shook his head. “No, she’s still breathing.”
“They said to keep her still. They’re on their way and they have this number if they can’t find us.”
The twenty minutes it took for the helicopter to arrive seemed to take an eternity. Dexter sat next to Clem and waited with Jim. Randy and Ryan went ahead to tell Claire. It was something that needed to be done in person.
“She saved me,” Jim said, his voice caught in his throat. “If Clem hadn’t been there, I’d be the one in the ditch. And if you hadn’t diverted the herd, she’d have taken more than a little tumble.”
“I didn’t do anything special.”
“How did you get to her so fast?”
“Panic.” Dexter couldn’t smile. He moved closer to Clem when she moaned.
“I did this to her,” Dexter said finally.
Jim Wells looked at him sharply. “You weren’t even close.”
“Earlier, she asked me if I thought she should go. She told me that if I said no, she’d turn around and go back home. I should have said no.”
“And she would have never ranched again,” Jim said. “I saw how scared she was. I think you gave her a gift, Scott. You gave her the right to make her own decisions.”
If only Dexter could believe that. Instead he said roughly, “Where the hell are they?”
“They’ll be here.”
Jim put a gentle hand on Clem’s forehead. “I’m going to wait in the clearing for them.”
Dexter nodded. He watched Clem’s shallow breathing. “You’re a damn good cowboy,” he said with a whisper.
He didn’t expect her to answer back, but kept talking to her. “I meant it as a compliment. Honest.” His voice broke. “I’m sorry about this, Clem. I should’ve told you to go home.” His throat closed and he felt tears gather in his throat. He blinked in surprise.
Was it his imagination or did Clem squeeze his hand?
Her eyes were open again. “Y-you’re n-not crying, are you?” she wheezed.
He touched her face. “Clem, I love you.”
“C-cowboys d-don’t cry,” she told him, her own eyes filling with tears.