by Floyd, Susan
“This one does.” He brought her hand to his face so she could feel the tears for Joanna, for her, for himself, flooding out of him.
She shook her head and gave him a weak smile. “S-sorry. D-don’t have a hankie.” Tears slipped down the side of her face.
Dexter laughed, then he ordered her, “Don’t die on me, Clem.”
She rolled her eyes. “D-don’t intend to die. T-too much living t-to do.”
The roar of the helicopter interrupted her. Dexter leaned over her to protect her from the dust that was being kicked up.
“L-loud,” Clem said.
“They’re here. You’ll be fixed up good as new.”
In a flurry of efficient motion, the emergency medical technicians took over, waving Dexter out of the way. Once they’d strapped her onto the gurney, Dexter was filled with an overwhelming sense of surrender. Is that what love did? Made one surrender? Or was it in surrendering one gained the most strength?
“One of you can go with her,” the pilot shouted over the roar of the helicopter blades.
Jim pointed to Dex. “You go. I’ll be right behind you.”
“You’ll be fine?” Dexter looked toward the horses.
Wells gave a ghost of a smile. “I’ll be better when I know she’s okay.”
With a nod, Dexter climbed into the chopper.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CLEM PROPPED HER LEG on the stool her mother put out for her. Frijole sat in her lap, rubbing her head against Clem’s cast. When she tired of that she used her claws, slowly shaving away the plaster. Six weeks had come and gone since the accident. Clem had spent Thanksgiving in the hospital eating bland turkey and complaining about the itching in her cast. She’d suffered a broken leg, arm and collarbone, along with a nasty concussion. She’d been in and out of consciousness for nearly six days and had had surgery to put steel pins in both her arm and her leg. Dexter had become a permanent fixture in the hospital, sleeping in a chair by her bed for much of her stay. Even though they spent a lot of time together, they never discussed the accident.
They’d talked about the weather and how Randy and Ryan were doing. They even talked a little about Archie. Clem had mourned her beloved friend, staring out of the hospital window, not really believing he was gone. She’d been sent home in early December, and the first time she’d visited the stable and seen he wasn’t there, she’d cried. Archie had been the only constant in her life for the past six years.
Not long after she arrived home, Randy and Ryan began to make preparations to leave. It was amazing to Clem that in such a short space of time, they’d managed to become like brothers to her. In the end, her feral cows had made a hefty profit for both the Millers and the ranch. On the day they’d hitched up their trailers and loaded up their horses and dogs, Clem had finally been able to stand up on crutches to say goodbye.
Randy had given her a big bear hug, then patted the cast on her leg. “I hope this doesn’t put you off cowboying.”
She had smiled and shaken her head. “Nope. They’ll slow me down, but as soon as they come off, I’ll be back on the horse.”
“Then you might need this.” He had stuffed something into her pocket.
“What is it?”
“Think of it as a Christmas gift from the Miller brothers.”
Clem realized it was a check that amounted to their share of the cows. “No!” Clem had protested. “This is your money. You earned it and some.”
“I told you we were only in it for the thrill. You’ll need to buy a new horse. This might get you started.”
Clem had kissed him soundly. “I’m going to miss you.”
“I’m going to miss you, too, Sleeping Beauty.”
Ryan had hugged her next.
“You’ve been the voice of sanity,” Clem had whispered. “I don’t know why some girl hasn’t snatched you up yet.”
Ryan had grinned. “Haven’t found one that can run fast enough yet.”
“Will we see you around?” Randy had asked, his head poking out of the passenger side of the truck window.
She’d nodded. “You’ll see me around.”
Clem had stared at the empty courtyard. It was the end of an adventure.
Dexter had stayed through the Christmas holidays. Now that she was recovering, she kept waiting for the “big talk,” a time when they would sort through their feelings and decide what step they wanted to take next. But it never came. Over the past six weeks, they had talked about horses, about her injuries, about her plans. But they hadn’t talked about their future. Every morning she woke up, expecting that this would be the day he’d tell her he was moving on or at least moving back to Barstow. But every morning, he just ate breakfast with her before starting to work with New Horse.
He spent hours with New Horse.
She didn’t remember much about the accident, but she did remember him saying he loved her. Or at least, she thought she did. But as the days turned into weeks, she began to attribute his words to panic more than anything else. It was a reasonable conclusion. He’d thought she was going to die. People often said things in times of crisis that they didn’t mean or, at least, didn’t want to be held to.
Her father came and sat next to her. He gave Frijole a scratch behind the ear.
“I guess it’s too late for a new herd?” Jim Wells asked.
“You’re going back to retirement, remember?” Clem reminded him. She inhaled the crisp January sunshine. There was a wonderful smell to it, as if spring was just around the corner. “Two weeks and these puppies come off. A couple of weeks of physical therapy and I’m back to normal. But I don’t think that even then I’ll be in any shape for dealing with my own herd of cattle, not even Herefords.”
“Well, you’ll want to be planning for next season.”
Clem shook her head and said seriously, “There’s not going to be a next season. Not with me at the helm, anyway. I’ve been thinking about what I’m going to do in the future. Dad, I’m not going to ranch anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean I don’t want the ranch. I don’t want to put out a herd.”
“Then what are you going to do?”
Clem was silent for a long time.
“You’re always welcome to join your mother and me in Arizona.”
She smiled gently and grabbed his hand and squeezed.
“No. I’ve been thinking about going out on my own. After I pay you back, I’m going to invest in a couple of good horses and see where I end up. I’m going to work some odd cowboy jobs, maybe on a dude ranch or something. I need to spend some time alone.”
“Honey, are you sure it’s safe?” Jim Wells looked concerned.
Clem laughed. “I don’t know if it’s safe, but right now I just want to see where I end up.”
“But what about your Dexter?”
Your Dexter. The words hurt more than her ribs. She gave a small laugh. “I don’t think he’s my Dexter, Dad.”
“He seems to think he is.”
“He’s got a funny way of showing it.” Clem’s voice was clipped.
“Maybe he’s just waiting until the right moment.”
Clem wondered. “Well, he better hurry up, because I’m a busy woman. I’ve got people to meet, places to go.”
“Speaking of going.” Her father picked up her hand. “I came out to tell you we’re going back to Arizona the weekend after you get your cast off. We’ll wait until you can make it up and down the stairs all right. Your mother thinks it’s time we got back to our life.”
Clem smiled. “And you? What are you missing?”
Her father smiled, his eyes nostalgic. “Riding with those boys made me realize that I have it pretty good. A lovely wife, a smart daughter, enough money to be comfortable. I think I’m just going to enjoy myself. If you’re serious about not wanting the ranch, we may just put it up for sale.”
Clem felt her throat tighten. “I’m going to miss you, Dad.”
“You can always wo
rk on a dude ranch in Arizona.”
“Maybe I will. Maybe I will.”
TOO QUICKLY HER PARENTS were getting ready to leave. Clem couldn’t stop the tears from forming.
“You’ll call when you get there?”
Her mother nodded. “Of course. And I’ll talk to you Sunday.”
Standing on two good legs, she hugged her mother with two good arms. “Thank you. Thank you for everything.”
“Now, you be nice to Dexter. He’s a good man.”
Clem gave her a watery smile. “He is a good man, even if he doesn’t talk that much.”
“He will, sweetheart. He will,” her mother assured her.
Her father gave her a resounding bear hug.
“Don’t like goodbyes. We’re going to see you at Easter, right?”
Clem nodded. “I’m coming down at Easter.”
“You might like it in Arizona,” her father said with a wink.
“I might.”
She stood and waved until their car was out of sight. Her shoulders slumped as she realized how deserted the place was. Dexter was almost invisible the way that he moved around. Soon he would tell her it was time for him to go and she would be left alone with Frijole and Cowchip.
“I guess it’s just us,” a voice said behind her.
Clem jumped.
Dexter was sitting on the porch, his gray felt hat pulled down over his eyes, Frijole in his lap, yet another victim of those hands of his. The only part of his face she could see was his mouth. He was smiling.
“Are you up for a ride?” he invited. “It’s early.”
She frowned. She’d only had the cast off her leg for three days. But the doctor hadn’t said anything about not riding, and she’d be riding an older horse, so it probably wouldn’t put a lot of strain on her leg.
She looked up and nodded. This is where he tells me that he’s leaving, too. She walked to the stable and Dexter walked alongside her. She didn’t know which horse to ride. For so long there had only been Archie.
“Why don’t you take New Horse?” Dexter suggested as he pulled the horse out of his stall, already saddled.
Clem hesitated. “I’m not sure I should. He’s pretty wild, right?”
“Was,” Dexter corrected her. “I’ve been working out most of his kinks. Here, I’ll give you a boost. I know he’s not Archie, but he needs someone like you.”
Clem let him help her onto New Horse. He skittered a little but quickly settled down. Clem rode him around the courtyard a couple of times and liked his responsiveness. She patted his mane. “You are a sweetie,” she crooned.
Dexter joined her on Calisto.
“Where to?” Dexter asked.
“Let’s just go around the property,” Clem said. “I haven’t seen it since before Thanksgiving.”
They rode in silence.
Finally, Dexter broke it. “You still have about two dozen of those cows hiding up in the mountains.”
Clem grinned. “That will be the next rancher’s problem, won’t it?”
“You giving up ranching?” His voice was sober.
Clem nodded. “Yes. I thought I’d go out on the road. Work as a hand at other ranches.”
Dexter was silent.
They rode for a while when he said suddenly, “You’d make a good one.”
“What?” Clem asked.
“A good hand. You’d make a good hand.”
“Oh.” Clem smiled. “Thanks. It’s a big compliment coming from you.”
“If you want a recommendation or something, I’d be happy to give you one.”
“Okay, thanks.” Clem closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. She wanted his declaration of undying love and he was offering her a letter of recommendation. Only Dexter Scott would be that obtuse.
DEXTER SAT NEXT TO CLEM knowing he was running out of time. He’d heard her talk about wanting to work other ranches. Randy had thought it was a positive step. That he should let her get it out of her system. It was a way for her to gain some independence and self-respect. Randy had been right about most everything, so Dexter was very careful to not mention anything about loving her or needing her or wanting to marry her. And she didn’t say anything about loving him or needing him or wanting to marry him, either. She looked different to him now. She looked content.
He asked, his voice casual, “What’s your first move?”
He stared at her, aching to pull her close, but not daring.
“I found some ads in Western Horseman. I’m going to follow up on some of them.”
“What are you going to do with Frijole and Cowchip?” He sounded as if he was making casual conversation, but he really wanted her to tell him what she planned to do after she’d worked on other people’s ranches.
Clem shook her head. “I haven’t actually thought that far ahead. I just thought I’d take them with me.”
“I’ll take them if you like,” he offered. “I have a few mice Frijole’d find tasty. Lots of room for Cowchip to hang around.”
“Thanks. I’ll think about it.”
There was nothing else to say until they rode up to a gate.
“I’ve got it,” Dexter said. He slid off Calisto and worked the lock. She caught Calisto’s reins and walked the horse through while Dex closed the gate behind them.
Dexter felt the gates in his heart open. She’d been the one to show him that his heart still worked and a heart that beat was a heart that could love.
There was another long silence between them. It seemed to punctuate their relationship.
Dexter looked around the beautiful mountain property. Clem had been the one to show him that he was wasting his life behind the gates he’d built. It was time for him to learn to live out in the open, just as it was time for her to be on her own. “I guess there’s not much more for me here.”
She nodded. “I suppose it’s time for you to be moving on.”
He looked up at the sky that was just starting to clear. His stomach knotted, but he forced his voice to be light. “Any idea where you’re going first?”
“I faxed one place my résumé, and they want to see me.”
“Where?”
“Nevada.”
Nevada wasn’t so far away. She could find her way back to him.
“So what are you planning to do?” Clem asked suddenly. “Are you still retired?”
“Call it semiretired,” Dexter amended. “The old Victorian needs quite a bit of attention. And Randy said he’d call if there was a job that was particularly exciting.”
Clem nodded, but didn’t comment.
“I might plant some grass.” He couldn’t look at her. “Kids like to play on grass.”
“Yes, they do,” Clem agreed.
They rode for another twenty minutes until the ranch house came into sight. He turned to her and said, “You’ll need a good horse.”
“My dad will let me take whichever one I want. And thanks to Randy and Ryan, I’ve got enough money to buy a new one.”
Dexter gave a short laugh. “No offense, but you’re not going to get very far with any of your dad’s horses, and a new one is going to take some getting used to.”
Clem’s face dimmed. He could tell how much she still felt the loss of her horse.
“Think you could handle New Horse?” he asked before she could get too sad.
DEXTER WASN’T LOOKING directly at Clem so she had a hard time figuring out exactly what he was asking. “Probably.”
“He’s still a little skittish, but in a little time, he’ll be a good horse,” Dexter said. “I’ve seen you ride. You’re good. If you used one of your dad’s as your main horse and worked with New Horse every day, it wouldn’t take long for you to be a great team. Shoot, you could even rename him. You’d be taken more seriously showing up with New Horse than with any stock your father has.”
“I would,” Clem said slowly. “But I know he’s expensive. I don’t think I can afford it.”
“I’m not selling New Horse. I�
�m giving him to you.”
Clem’s throat closed. “Why?”
Dexter answered her question with a question. “Do you want him?”
“Uh…”
“Do you want him?” he repeated.
“Yes!” The word burst out of her. “Thank you.”
“You follow that dream of yours. But do me one favor?”
Clem was mesmerized by his gaze. Wordless, she nodded.
“While you’re following your head, make sure you listen to your heart, too.”
She nodded.
“Farewell, friend.” As if he couldn’t help himself, he caught her to him and hugged her tightly. “I hope you find what you’re looking for.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Somewhere northeast of Barstow, California
SPITTING DUST. If there was anything that Dexter Scott hated worse than spitting dust, it was scraping paint from a monster of a house that had been left far too long without care. He brushed the sweat off his forehead with the sleeve of his flannel shirt. It was a sunny April day, but there was still plenty of desert chill in the air. He looked up at the house. He’d finished much of the interior, opened up the little alcove. Dexter realized how odd it was that something terrible could sometimes be a blessing.
Clem’s accident was terrible, but it was a blessing. It had made him realize that if one didn’t snatch love when one had the chance, it was gone. He didn’t know where Clem was, but he had a feeling she was close. He’d made it his business to know at least the general area she was in. She’d started in Nevada, then moved on to Texas for a few months.
She dropped him an occasional postcard, but he hadn’t heard from her in nearly two months. He knew she was right to go. And he knew he was right to let her.
He’d realized he had his own life to straighten out. His house needed fixing and the yard needed work. He looked at the brown grass. He’d ordered some grass plugs and had put down some compost already. He’d tackled the overgrown rosebush, pruning it back to a reasonable size. He’d also got rid of all the debris littering the property. He knew exactly why he was fixing up the place. He was still hoping Clem would come looking for him. Then they could start over.