His words nick at me. “That’s right. I’m a freaking nerd. I love music and art, and I’m not some exotic beauty with long, dark hair streaming down my back, ready to screw your brains out at the drop of a hat.”
His cobalt eyes bear into mine. “That’s not what I want.”
“Could have fooled me.”
His nose scrunches, pulling his lip up in a snarl.
“What do you want, Landon?”
He takes another step toward me, and I step backward, my back brushing the wall. “I don’t want to be your goddamned brother.”
My heartbeat races so hard I think the whole thing might break free of my chest any minute. “I don’t want to be your—”
His mouth is on mine, and I wrap my arms around his back, pulling him into me. He presses his full lips onto mine with gentle force so intoxicating I think I might lose my footing. But it’s not enough. I want more. I want him, his body, his mind, anything I can possibly put my hands on. He pulls away from me, and my body screams in protest. He lifts me, hiking me up onto him, and I wrap my legs around his torso so tightly I think I could hang onto him with no hands.
He backs us against the wall and goes back in for another kiss, and I force his mouth open with mine. He tastes minty like he just brushed his teeth, and I think I could stay right here in this crazy position, wrapped around him, our mouths and bodies together, for the rest of my life. This is what all the fuss is about. This is my real first kiss.
I thread my fingers through his shaggy hair and tug his head back, pulling him away from me. I didn’t even mean to, but I’m so amped I can’t even control myself.
He pants as he stares at my lips. “Did you kiss him tonight?”
I shake my head. “No. I tried. I couldn’t—”
He goes for my mouth again, and we start the whole amazing experience all over, and I can’t imagine wanting this to stop…ever.
A door opens upstairs, and he drops me to the floor in an instant. I stride toward the steps, wiping frantically at my mouth before whomever came out of their room can surface. When I reach the top of the steps, my father meets me there. Sure, now he shows interest in me.
“Hey, sweetie. I thought that might be you. Did you have fun tonight?”
“Yeah,” I say, brushing my hair back from my face.
“Good. Did you see Landon when you came in? He said he’d wait up for you. I was beat.”
I nod too quickly. “Yeah. We spoke.” I look down and find him sitting on the couch flipping channels. “He’s watching something.”
“I think I’ll join him. I have a hard time getting back to sleep once I’m up.”
“Sorry I woke you,” I say.
“Oh, no, sweetie, it’s fine. I’m just glad you’re home.” He flashes me a sleepy smile. “Good night.”
“Night, Dad.”
He passes me to go down the stairs, and I make my way to our bedroom. I close the door behind me, and Jenna sits up in her bed, her eyes so wild I think she’s going to explode.
“What. Happened.”
I rush a finger to my lips and sit down next to her, my smile hurting my face it’s so wide. “We kissed.”
She cocks her head to the side. “I take it you’re not talking about Hunter.”
I fall over in silent giggles, and she sits up on her knees. “Details, now!”
I cover my face. “Oh my God, Jenna. What are we doing? We can’t kiss. We’re going to be brother and sister.”
“Who cares? It’s not like you’re going to be living together. He’ll be at North Florida State, and you’ll be back in Cliff Ridge.”
My happiness stumbles at the thought of being away from him. “I can’t even think about that. I can’t think about any of this. We’re not supposed to be doing this. What if it all goes wrong, and then we have to spend Christmas together, and he brings his new girlfriend?”
She offers me both of her hands. “There’s my positive thinker.”
I let my head fall back as I take in the gravity of this situation.
“You’ll figure this all out,” she says. “But for now, don’t even think about it. Just enjoy your summer with him. Let him spoil you and kiss you and show you his town.”
I gaze at her. “Oh, Jenna. Why couldn’t I fall for Hunter?”
She shrugs. “As my granny would say, bless his little heart.”
We both giggle. “He really is a super nice guy,” I say. “I just couldn’t. I tried, but all I could think of was Landon. God, he’s nothing like anyone I’d ever dreamed of dating.”
“Which is why he’s perfect for you. Now, get to bed so you can dream sweet dreams about your new boyfriend.”
I draw my hand to my chest. “God, is that what he is?”
She gives a solemn nod. “Afraid so.”
A grin spreads so wide across my face I think it might climb right off.
Jenna narrows her gaze at the poster board that hangs on the wall in front of our beds.
“Wait!” she says, and then jumps up, grabbing the marker on the chest. She points at number ten. Kiss a boy you like.
I sit up on my bed. “Wow. I marked one off and wasn’t even trying.”
She slides her marker over number ten. “Six down, four to go.”
I analyze the four that are left. Wear a bikini to the beach. I shiver at the idea, but I like the suit Cynthia bought me, so I think I can handle it. Especially if I’m showing off for Landon.
Send a plate of food back at a restaurant. It might give me hives, but otherwise, it shouldn’t be terrible.
Express your true feelings to someone. Landon comes to mind. I’m not ready to do that now, but possibly by the end of the summer…
Have a real conversation with your dad. This is the doozy. This is the one that keeps me up at night. My dad and I don’t have real conversations. We don’t know how to…not with each other. I’m not sure he knows how to with anyone.
But at this point, I want to mark every item off this list. When Jenna first presented it, I thought I wouldn’t even get through one task much less six. The more I mark off the more jazzed up I get about ticking off the rest.
Some of these tasks have been simple, like making Jenna do Landon’s laundry the day we first created the list. Kissing Landon was pretty darn simple, too. Even going up and talking to Hunter wasn’t too hard. Some have taken a lot of courage on my part, like karaoke and standing up to those skanky girls on the beach.
But this task is in a category all on its own. This task has the potential to open up a gate in the walls my father and I have so concretely erected between us for the past seventeen years. This task may widen the narrow lens my father and I use to view each other. I’m not sure either of us is ready for that.
Landon
I wake up with a smile a mile wide. Never mind the fact I almost got my ass caught by Derrick last night, and never mind that nagging feeling in my gut that tells me I’m doing the wrong thing by my mother. I kissed Chloe, and I regret nothing.
I shower and dress in my work clothes. I head down the steps, and all the women of the house congregate at the kitchen table.
God, I’m nervous. What the hell?
“Morning, sweetie,” Mom says.
“Morning.” I open the refrigerator door.
“Did Derrick keep you up? He said you watched a late movie with him.”
“I’m fine.” I can’t even figure out what I’m looking for, but I know I’ve got to face Chloe when I close this door.
“Did you hear Jenna caught the bouquet?” Mom says. “Maybe Roth will propose.” Mom giggles like a girl their age.
I grab a bottle of water, shut the door, and train my gaze on Chloe. She’s got her face in her oatmeal. She looks as nervous as I feel.
“Aren’t you going to congratulate me?” Jenna asks.
>
“For catching the bouquet?” I ask.
“What else?”
“I think I’ll say a prayer for your future husband instead.”
Jenna punches me in the stomach, and I pretend to flinch. She purses her lips like she doesn’t buy it.
Chloe chances a glance at me, but doesn’t look long enough for me to communicate anything to her…not even a smile meant for her.
Mom flips through a page on her iPad. “Sit and have oatmeal with us.”
“I need to get to work. I’ll see you tonight.” I kiss my mom on the top of the head.
“I want you home for dinner, tonight. I haven’t seen you in days.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
As I pass behind Chloe I let my fingertips graze her shoulder, showing her I’m not sorry about the kiss.
“Bye, Landon,” Jenna says in a sing-song. I turn to her with a glare, and she gives me a knowing finger wave.
I open the front door, and Hunter Raborn faces me. Funny how I can go from wanting to strangle him to actually feeling sorry for him this morning. God, I’m a dick.
I offer him my hand. “Hey, man.”
The whites of his eyes pop out as he considers my hand. I clasp him on the shoulder instead. “Good to see you. Did you have fun at J.J.’s last night?”
“Uh…sure. I just stopped by to give Chloe this. She left it in my car.” He holds out Chloe’s sketchbook. “You can give it to her if you want.”
I give him what I hope is a comforting smile. “Why don’t you give it to her yourself. She’s in the kitchen.”
I point him in the right direction and head down the road.
I punch in at the office, and then head to the tram. When I get there, Monica sits in the driver’s seat. I inhale a deep breath and circle the keys around on my finger. I face her head on.
“Hey,” I say.
“I’m sorry I’m going all stalker on you this morning. I didn’t want to text you,” she says.
“How come?”
“Because I really wanted to talk to you, and I was afraid you wouldn’t respond.”
I nod, because she’s right. I wouldn’t have known what to say, just like right now.
She steps out of the cart. “Landon, I’ve tried everything I know with you. And I thought finally…last night…”
I inhale a sharp breath and lean against the pole of the awning covering the trams. “I know. I need to apologize.”
She lifts her eyebrows in encouragement.
“I led you on last night. That was me being a dick. I was pissed about something else, and I took advantage of you.”
She laughs. “I wish you would’ve taken advantage of me. That’s the whole point here.”
I wish all to hell she wasn’t doing this. She’s an integral part of my life, and I don’t want to do anything to risk what we have. I need her. And besides that, she’s probably my best friend.
I shake my head in frustration. “I know. I just…I don’t see you that way.”
She comes toward me. “Why not? You know I’m not full of myself, but come on. I’ve got my pick around here.”
“I know you do.”
She gives me a wide smile. “And we have a lot of fun together.”
“I know.”
She grabs my biceps. “And we’re good together.”
I move away from her. “You don’t understand.”
She lets out a huff of air. “Is it because of Ashley? Because she’s dating someone else now. Did you know that?”
The news doesn’t even sting a little. “It’s not because of Ashley.”
“Is it because I’m your tutor?”
I glance off at the golf course and then turn back to her. “That’s part of it.”
She tosses up her hands. “Why? Why can’t we date and still work together?”
My face warms in frustration. “It’s just…the two don’t go together.”
“Then I’ll get you another tutor.”
The thought of starting all over with someone else is too much. I don’t trust myself to follow through with college if I don’t have her support. I’m so freaked out about the whole idea of it as it is—a whole new slew of people to think I’m an idiot because I’m on a fourth grade math level. I’ve already given up on football. I don’t even care about wrestling…not like football. So if I quit the whole shebang, there’s not much lost there.
I bear my gaze into hers. “I don’t want another tutor.”
She pleads with her eyes. “Then help me understand.”
I put my fist to my forehead and pace. “You know parts of me I don’t want to reveal to someone I’m dating.”
She lays her hand on my arm, stopping me in my tracks. “You’re a smart guy. I know you are. Look at all that crap you read. You’ve got a learning disability. I know you can’t help that.”
Just hearing her say it out loud makes me feel small, and the instinct to fight back shoots through me. “It’s not just that you’re my tutor.”
She puts her fists on her hips. “Then what is it?”
I toss up a hand. “I’ve known you since we were little. I’ve seen your boobs.”
“I was two. They weren’t boobs yet.”
“Still.” I narrow my eyes at her. “Isn’t that a little weird?”
“Not for me.”
I drop my head backward in exhaustion.
“Is there someone else?” she asks. “Are you into that girl who’s living with you this summer? The one who was on America’s Newest Sensation?”
I scrunch up my face, the idea of Jenna and me giving me the willies. “God, no.”
She laughs. “Are you into the other one? The one who’s going to be your sister?”
I avert my gaze toward the office, and then down to the keys in my hand, fingering them.
“Oh, my God. That’s it. You’re into that other one. The one with the reddish-brown hair. Your stepsister.”
I roll my eyes.
“Isn’t she dating Hunter Raborn?”
“No,” I snap.
She takes a step backward. “Whoa. Geez. I never would have guessed you’d be into her.”
The way she says her throws up my defenses. “Why not?”
“Well, besides the fact she’s going to be your stepsister, she’s just…different, that’s all.”
I can hear the judgement in her tone, and it’s pissing me the hell off. “Maybe I like different.”
She lets out an exasperated sigh. “Well, she’s cute, I’ll give her that.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. I’ve got to turn this around. I need her, and I want her in my life. I prepare to grovel. “Monica, I don’t want to lose you.”
“As your tutor,” she confirms.
“And my friend.”
She meets my gaze with strained eyes. I can’t tell if she wants to hug me or pummel me.
She scratches her cheek and shakes her head. “I need some time.”
“Monica—”
She holds up a hand. “I know we’ve got a quiz next week. I won’t leave you hanging. I’ll figure something out. I just need to process all of this.”
I reach for her, and she jerks away from me. She waves a dismissive hand and heads down the sidewalk leaving me to drown in an ocean of uncertainty.
Chapter Thirty
Chloe
As I pull up the driveway, a figure moves on the front porch. In the pitch-black dark, I can only make out that it’s a guy, which means it’s either Landon, my dad, or a creepy stalker guy. I’m hoping for the first.
I feel almost lightheaded as I cut the engine and gather my purse. I haven’t seen him since this morning, and I was so freaked out I couldn’t even look at him. When he ran his fingertips across my shoulder, I almost had heart failure. I�
��ve never felt anything like this before. I try to imagine what it was like when I had my crush on Trevor, and it wasn’t even in the same universe as this.
As I walk toward him, he spins a football straight up in the air and catches it. I stand in front of him, and he meets my gaze.
“Hey,” he says, his voice low and deeper than usual.
“Hey.”
I want to calm my pounding heart with my hand, but I can’t let on how nervous I am.
“Missed you at dinner tonight,” he says.
“Yeah, I got a babysitting job.”
“I heard.”
I glance down at my keys and step backward, a little off balance from my nerves. “Where is everyone?”
“Jenna’s on a job. Mom and Derrick are right there in the living room.” He points through the glass pane on the side of the door to the two of them sitting on the couch together.
I nod and roll my eyes around nervously. He stands, steps down off of the stair, and cups my face with his hands. “I missed you today.”
I let out a stilted breath. I’ve been wondering all day how this first meeting was going to go down. Did he change his mind? Come to his senses? But the way he’s looking at me now, there’s no doubt there’s something between us.
He turns around and opens the door to the house, leaving me in cardiac arrest.
“Look who I found outside,” he says.
“Hey, honey,” my dad says. “How was babysitting?”
“Good. Thanks for the referral, Cynthia.”
“Sure, sweetie.”
“I’m going to read,” Landon says. As he reaches the top of the stairs, he gives a little motion with his head and disappears into his room.
I let out a breath and walk over to the living room, too afraid to walk up the stairs at the moment. “What are you all watching?” I ask.
“Jaws 3,” Cynthia says. “What is it with men and Jaws movies?”
“They filmed parts of Jaws 2 right down the road from here,” my dad says.
We all jump at a mound of teeth emerging from the water.
“That’s it for me,” I say.
“We’ll turn it on something else if you want to sit with us,” Cynthia says.
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