His eyes widen. “Wow. You look great.”
Jenna puts her hand to her chest. “Why thank you.”
I jab a thumb in her direction. “She picked out the dress…and did my hair…and my makeup.”
“You’re welcome,” Jenna says to Landon. “Ready?”
Jenna flops down the stairs, and Landon walks over to me. He slides has hands around my waist and rests them on my hips. “You look beautiful tonight. Happy birthday.”
My whole body warms at his words. He reaches down and presses his lips against mine. Then he grins as he steps aside and motions me toward the staircase.
As I step off the staircase, Cynthia comes out of the kitchen. “You girls look great in those dresses. Derrick, don’t they look fantastic?”
My dad grunts and nods. He looks up at Landon. “Keep your eye on those two tonight.” He points at Jenna. “That one’s on loan.”
“Will do.”
“I’m lifting your curfew tonight since you’ve got a drive, but I still want you to have them back here by one o’clock,” my dad says.
I give Landon a look, but his expression remains impassive.
“Be careful. Call when you get there,” my dad says. “And call when you’re on your way back home. I don’t care how late it is.”
“Will do,” Landon says and heads out the door.
We pull into the parking lot of the Destin outlet mall where Roth stands by his truck waiting for us. We park, and I get out of the Jeep to let Jenna out. She gets out, and then turns to me and wraps her arms around me.
“I love you, sweetie. Have fun tonight, and be safe.”
She kisses me on the cheek and gets into Roth’s truck. “See you here at twelve forty-five I assume?” she says to Landon.
He nods.
Roth gives a look like the cat that caught the canary, gets in his truck, and then takes off. I turn to find Landon walking around from his side.
“I hope it’s okay if it’s just us tonight,” he says.
“What’s going on?” My pulse quickens, and I’m suddenly nervous as a shaking Chihuahua.
“I’m taking you to see Onward Out in Panama City. Is that okay?”
My hand flies to my heart. “Oh my God. Are you serious?”
“Yeah. It’s about an hour away. We should head that way.”
I jump up and down. “I love you!”
He grins and holds the Jeep door open for me. “Get in.”
Landon takes my hand, and we head for the concert. Our seats are fourth row center. I have no idea how he got them, but I want to kiss him for it, so I do. The lights go down, and the crowd erupts. A guitar riff indicates an album cut, but one of my favorite songs not only by this band, but of all time. I jump and scream, my heart pumping with adrenaline. I look up at Landon, and he’s looking down at me with sincerity.
“I love you,” he says. I can’t hear him, but I see the words on his lips.
I’m not sure my soul could be fuller than it is at this moment.
“I love you, too,” I mouth.
The concert is incredible. I love this band, and I love that I’m sharing this experience with Landon. He catches me a pick that the guitar player tosses out in the audience. After the final encore, we walk along a row of restaurants.
“Are you hungry?” he asks.
I shake my head. “I’ve got too much energy to sit and eat. Are you?”
He shakes his head. We stop in front of a high rise, and he turns to face me. “I got us a room here.”
I blink. “Like a room, room?”
He nods. “We’ve got to be home by one, but we’ve got until midnight.”
We both check our phones for the time. We’ve got a couple of hours. I’m not sure what’s in store for us in this room, but I trust him.
I look up at him. “All right, let’s go.”
We make our way up the elevator to the fifteenth floor. He leads us toward our room and lets us in. A king-size bed sits in the middle of the room, staring at me. Landon and I have been in his bed together now a half dozen times, but something is different about this bed. This bed has significance.
He goes to the back of the room and pulls open the curtain to reveal the Gulf of Mexico roaring to the shore in the moonlight. He walks back over to me and takes both of my hands, and my heart pounds as hard as the drumbeat at the show we just left.
“Tonight is all about you,” he says. “I want you to have exactly what you want. If that’s me, I’m yours. I’m not going to hold us back from anything anymore. You’ve changed so much this summer, in such a good way. You’re confident and strong. You know what you want, and you know what you can handle.”
He lets go of my hands and takes a step back. “I’m going to sit on this balcony. I want you to think about what you want. When you’re ready, come tell me. I won’t be disappointed with whatever you choose, and we’re going to have a blast no matter what. But it’s important to me that this isn’t a heat of the moment decision for you. I want you to know going in what you’re ready for.”
He gives me a smile that could end a war and walks out to the balcony. With his hand poised to shut the door, he says, “Take your time, and be sure.”
He sits in a chair and puts his feet up on the railing, settling in. This is the kind of guy he is. He’s made me an offer and wants to give me all the space I need to accept or not. And I believe him when he says he’s fine with the decision either way.
I always had this thing about my first time. I wanted to be in love, and I wanted that love to be mutual, and here we are. I’m head over heels in love with him, and there’s no doubt in my mind that he’s in love with me.
There’s not a decision to be made. This is right. Nothing about being on a pontoon boat with some asshole I don’t even know was right. This is how love is supposed to be.
I’m not scared or nervous anymore. I’m ready.
I pull open the sliding glass door and join him on the balcony. I walk over to him and hold out my hand. He drops his legs off the railing, stands, and takes my hand.
As I lead him back inside, my heart swells. I can’t imagine a world where he and I don’t exist together.
I turn and face him, and he takes my hands. “In case you didn’t hear it before, I love you.”
The first time he told me those words couldn’t have been more magical, even though I couldn’t hear them. But now, the words coming from his voice fill my core. “I love you, too.”
He rubs his thumb over the top of my hand. “Thank you for trusting me.”
I smile up at him. “Thank you for working so hard to earn my trust.”
He goes in for a kiss and spends a good five minutes doing nothing but that, easing me into this in his gentlemanly way. But eventually, he slides his hand to the back of my dress and pulls on the satin bow.
My hands are shaky as I undo the buttons on his shirt, and then open it up to reveal his chest. I pull his shirt to the sides and let it fall off of him. I run my hands over his skin, over the little clusters of freckles on his chest, and it dawns on me that he is mine. It doesn’t matter who he belonged to before. The thought makes me giggle.
He raises an eyebrow. “Something funny?”
“No. Nope.” I can’t stop giggling. Oh my God. What is wrong with me?
“Are you sure?” But now he’s smiling, and it only makes me giggle harder.
I. Cannot. Stop. Giggling.
Landon sighs and hauls me off the ground—throws me right over his shoulder, which makes me squeal—and tosses me onto the bed. I land with a bounce and a gasp, and then he’s there, too, on top of me, grinning like an idiot. “Wrestling scholarship, remember?”
“Now I know how you got it.”
His grin widens and he kisses me, soft and slow, until my embarrassing case of the giggles final
ly stops. In fact, when he really gets going, I can’t do much more than grab at his shoulders, trying to get closer. Maybe he can tell I’ve hit my limit because the next thing I know, he’s rolled us over so that I’m sitting on top of him, my dress bunched up around my legs. Trying to straighten it only makes things worse.
“Here. Let me help.”
He tugs the zipper of my dress down my back, and just like that, my dress falls from my shoulders onto my lap. He’s seen me in a bikini top that covers even less than my bra, but him seeing me like this feels brand new. Different. Especially with how he’s looking at me.
I’m pretty sure I blush from the tips of my hair all the way to my toes.
Landon shucks off his pants beneath me and holy wow, there’s not much between us now, but all I see is what he’s pulling out of his pants pocket. He sets a condom on the nightstand. I swallow hard.
“Hey,” he says, making me look at him. “It’s okay to be nervous. I was nervous my first time.”
I can’t imagine Landon nervous about anything. Should I be more nervous? I mean, he’s the greatest guy in the world and I trust him completely, but…
I can’t stop looking at the condom.
This is happening. I’m not going to chicken out. I want this. I quickly yank my dress over my head. “I’m ready. Let’s go.”
Landon blinks…then starts laughing.
And then we’re kissing. And touching. And it feels so good.
I have to admit it’s nice not worrying about one of our parents opening up their bedroom door and coming down the hallway. Especially with the little sighs I can’t seem to stop making.
All too soon, he pulls away and smooths my hair out of my face. He kisses my forehead, and then gazes into my eyes. “Are you sure you’re ready?”
I nod, giving him a reassuring smile.
He smiles back. “I can’t believe you’re mine.”
I’m his. I can’t imagine sweeter words in the English language.
When he leans back in, I relax back and let Landon take the lead.
Landon
Monica waves her hands dramatically. “Earth to Landon. Did you even hear what I said?”
I meet her gaze. “What? Sorry.”
“What are you smiling about?” she asks. “Since when are fractions funny?”
“I had something on my mind. Go ahead.”
She sits back in her swivel chair. “Landon, where is your head lately? You know the final is right around the corner, right?”
“I know.”
“So let’s do this, okay?”
“Okay.”
She’s talking, but I can’t process anything she’s saying. All I can do is replay Saturday night over in my head a hundred different ways. Chloe’s wavy hair, her lips, her eyes, her legs, her hands…
Monica slams her laptop shut. “This is ridiculous. What is going on with you?”
“Sorry. I’m just…my head’s out of whack today. Can we try again tomorrow?”
“No, we can’t try tomorrow. I’ve got to lifeguard tomorrow at my other job.”
I wave her off. “It’s fine. I’ve got this.”
“No, you don’t got this. What you got was eight problems wrong out of ten on this last set of work.”
I toss my hands up, an unreasonable rage coursing through me. “Fuck it. I’m sick of math. It consumes my goddamned life. This is my summer, why am I even messing with this.”
She backhands me on the arm. “Hey. What the hell?”
I know she’s right, but I couldn’t want to be learning math less right now. I’m in love with a girl who I can only be with for just a few more weeks, and I want to be spending every moment I can with her. Still, that’s not Monica’s fault.
“I’m sorry, I’m just sick of it,” I say.
“I know you are. But you have to finish this course so you can go to college in the fall.”
“What if I don’t want to?” The words are out before I can even think about what I mean by them.
She raises her eyebrows. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me. I never wanted to go to school. It was Mrs. Keeley and Coach Dalton who figured out my future for me. What if I want to get a job instead?”
She lifts her hand to her forehead. “Look, I know these problems are tough.”
I bear my gaze into her. “It’s not the problems.”
She tosses up her hands. “Then what is it?”
I take in a deep breath. “I just don’t know if I can do another seven plus years of this shit. I need a break. A gap year maybe.”
She squares herself in front of me, grabbing my knees. “You’re talking crazy. A gap year is not going to work for you.”
My face fills with heat. “Why? Because I’m a dumbass?”
“No, because right now you have a lot of people on your side working for you. If you take a gap year off, you’ll never go back, and you know it.”
“I will,” I say with very little conviction.
She considers me. “This is about her, isn’t it? Chloe.”
“Maybe she’s more important than school.” Monica gapes at me in horror, but I plow forward anyway. “Maybe I could live with my dad in Lexington for a year and get a job waiting tables or whatever. Then I’ll move with Chloe to Nashville next year. I’ll go to school there. They have several colleges in the area. I’ve been looking. They’ve got community colleges. The math would have to be easier than at North Florida State.”
She looks worried, and I hate that, but I can’t help it.
“What about wrestling?” she asks.
I shrug. “It’s not what I’ve always wanted. It’s just a substitute for the sport I really want to play but can’t because of my goddamned dyscalculia.”
She sits back in her chair. “I don’t even know what to say about any of this.”
“You don’t have to say anything. I’m not your responsibility.”
She stares at me with wild eyes, and I’m already so regretful of everything I’ve just said to her.
I gather my notebook. “Look, I’m just gonna go. We’re not going to get anything done today. I’ll go over the study guide when I get home tonight. I need to go pick up Chloe anyway.”
“Does she not have her own car?”
“Jenna took it. She had a gig.”
I stand to go, and she stands with me. “Landon, I know it’s tough, and I know there are times like these when you want to give up, that another road seems easier. But don’t throw away your whole career path for some girl who doesn’t even live here.”
Anger swells in my throat. “She’s not some girl, Monica. She’s my whole life.”
I turn and walk away.
I pull my Jeep up in front of the house where Chloe is babysitting and cut the motor. I’m all excited just knowing she’s this close to me. I haven’t seen her all day. I had an early shift, and she was still in bed when I left. I miss her even when I’m with her—just imagining when I’ll be separated from her again. And we’re living in the same house.
I have no idea how I’m going to adjust to her being a good eight hours away when I’m at college in a month. I can’t conceive of it.
I’ve taken girls’ virginities before, but it’s never been a pride thing for me. In fact, it makes me uneasy because both times I did it before, the girls formed a bond to me that I didn’t reciprocate, and then I felt like a prick when it was time to break it off with them.
But with Chloe, I’m the one who’s attached. I thought I was in love with Ashley, but I had no freaking idea. This is love on a completely new level. I eat and breathe Chloe. I want to listen to music now just so I can experience the same sounds she experiences. I’m obsessed with her sketchbook, constantly asking her if I can look through it again, just to make sure there isn’t a detail I’ve missed
about some picture. I love all the different working parts of her creative brain and her beautiful body.
The couple she’s babysitting for pulls in the driveway, and a moment later, Chloe comes out. She walks over to me, a smile threatening at her lips. She sits in the front seat and faces me. “Hello, sir. May I have a ride?”
“No kiss?”
She glances around. “No.” She points at me. “You’re getting way too lax with that. We almost got caught the other day when your mom’s friend saw us at Publix.”
“I couldn’t help it. We were in the fresh produce section. You know what that does to me.”
She grabs my bicep and pushes me. “Drive.”
I pass our house.
“Where are we going?” she asks.
“I just want a minute with you before we go home.”
I pull into the parking lot for one of the smaller pools that’s usually abandoned this time of night. I take her hand and lead her to the unattached hot tub, and we immerse our feet in the warm waters.
“So the wedding’s coming up,” she says. “We’ll be officially related in less than a month.”
I take her hand. “I don’t care.”
She pulls her hand away from me.
“What?” I ask.
She rests her face in her hands. “I just can’t believe this is almost over.”
I feel the same way. “Hey.” I put my hand on her forearm. “It’s not going to be over.”
She pulls her hands off her face. “Seriously. What are we doing? I’m getting ready to be back in Cliff Ridge. You’re getting ready to be at college. I’m starting to freak out a little.”
I wrap my arm around her. “I could come live with my dad. Lexington’s only about three hours from where you live.”
She gives a huff. “I don’t think that’d be a feasible commute to North Florida State.”
“Tell me about Nashville,” I say. “I’ve never been. I’ve heard it’s a cool city though.”
“Totally. There’s an incredible music scene there, and not just country. They have really cool venues. My mom took me to see one of my bands at an all-ages show at this club in this trendy part of town called the Gulch near downtown. It was awesome.”
The Summer Before Forever Page 23