Noli me tángere. English

by José Rizal

  CHAPTER XI

  The Rulers

  Divide and rule.

  (_The New Machiavelli._)

  Who were the caciques of the town?

  Don Rafael, when alive, even though he was the richest, owned moreland, and was the patron of nearly everybody, had not been one ofthem. As he was modest and depreciated the value of his own deeds,no faction in his favor had ever been formed in the town, and wehave already seen how the people all rose up against him when theysaw him hesitate upon being attacked.

  Could it be Capitan Tiago? True it was that when he went there hewas received with an orchestra by his debtors, who banqueted him andheaped gifts upon him. The finest fruits burdened his table and aquarter of deer or wild boar was his share of the hunt. If he foundthe horse of a debtor beautiful, half an hour afterwards it was inhis stable. All this was true, but they laughed at him behind hisback and in secret called him "Sacristan Tiago."

  Perhaps it was the gobernadorcillo? [52] No, for he was only anunhappy mortal who commanded not, but obeyed; who ordered not, butwas ordered; who drove not, but was driven. Nevertheless, he hadto answer to the alcalde for having commanded, ordered, and driven,just as if he were the originator of everything. Yet be it said tohis credit that he had never presumed upon or usurped such honors,which had cost him five thousand pesos and many humiliations. Butconsidering the income it brought him, it was cheap.

  Well then, might it be God? Ah, the good God disturbed neither theconsciences nor the sleep of the inhabitants. At least, He did notmake them tremble, and if by chance He might have been mentioned ina sermon, surely they would have sighed longingly, "Oh, that onlythere were a God!" To the good Lord they paid little attention, asthe saints gave them enough to do. For those poor folk God had cometo be like those unfortunate monarchs who are surrounded by courtiersto whom alone the people render homage.

  San Diego was a kind of Rome: not the Rome of the time when the cunningRomulus laid out its walls with a plow, nor of the later time when,bathed in its own and others' blood, it dictated laws to the world--no,it was a Rome of our own times with the difference that in place ofmarble monuments and colosseums it had its monuments of sawali and itscockpit of nipa. The curate was the Pope in the Vatican; the alferezof the Civil Guard, the King of Italy on the Quirinal: all, it must beunderstood, on a scale of nipa and bamboo. Here, as there, continualquarreling went on, since each wished to be the master and consideredthe other an intruder. Let us examine the characteristics of each.

  Fray Bernardo Salvi was that silent young Franciscan of whom wehave spoken before. In his habits and manners he was quite differentfrom his brethren and even from his predecessor, the violent PadreDamaso. He was thin and sickly, habitually pensive, strict in thefulfilment of his religious duties, and careful of his good name. Ina month after his arrival nearly every one in the town had joinedthe Venerable Tertiary Order, to the great distress of its rival,the Society of the Holy Rosary. His soul leaped with joy to see abouteach neck four or five scapularies and around each waist a knottedgirdle, and to behold the procession of corpses and ghosts in _guingon_habits. The senior sacristan made a small fortune selling--or givingaway as alms, we should say--all things necessary for the salvationof the soul and the warfare against the devil, as it is well knownthat this spirit, which formerly had the temerity to contradict Godhimself face to face and to doubt His words, as is related in theholy book of Job, who carried our Lord Christ through the air asafterwards in the Dark Ages he carried the ghosts, and continues,according to report, to carry the _asuang_ of the Philippines, nowseems to have become so shamefaced that he cannot endure the sight ofa piece of painted cloth and that he fears the knots on a cord. Butall this proves nothing more than that there is progress on this sidealso and that the devil is backward, or at least a conservative,as are all who dwell in darkness. Otherwise, we must attribute tohim the weakness of a fifteen-year-old girl.

  As we have said, Fray Salvi was very assiduous in the fulfilment of hisduties, too assiduous, the alferez thought. While he was preaching--hewas very fond of preaching--the doors of the church were closed,wherein he was like Nero, who allowed no one to leave the theater whilehe was singing. But the former did it for the salvation and the latterfor the corruption of souls. Fray Salvi rarely resorted to blows,but was accustomed to punish every shortcoming of his subordinateswith fines. In this respect he was very different from Padre Damaso,who had been accustomed to settle everything with his fists or a cane,administering such chastisement with the greatest good-will. For this,however, he should not be judged too harshly, as he was firm in thebelief that the Indian could be managed only by beating him, justas was affirmed by a friar who knew enough to write books, and PadreDamaso never disputed anything that he saw in print, a credulity ofwhich many might have reason to complain. Although Fray Salvi madelittle use of violence, yet, as an old wiseacre of the town said,what he lacked in quantity he made up in quality. But this shouldnot be counted against him, for the fasts and abstinences thinned hisblood and unstrung his nerves and, as the people said, the wind gotinto his head. Thus it came about that it was not possible to learnfrom the condition of the sacristans' backs whether the curate wasfasting or feasting.

  The only rival of this spiritual power, with tendencies toward thetemporal, was, as we have said, the alferez: the only one, since thewomen told how the devil himself would flee from the curate, because,having one day dared to tempt him, he was caught, tied to a bedpost,soundly whipped with a rope, and set at liberty only after ninedays. As a consequence, any one who after this would still be theenemy of such a man, deserved to fall into worse repute than eventhe weak and unwary devils.

  But the alferez deserved his fate. His wife was an old Filipina ofabundant rouge and paint, known as Dona Consolacion--although herhusband and some others called her by quite another name. The alferezrevenged his conjugal misfortunes on his own person by getting sodrunk that he made a tank of himself, or by ordering his soldiers todrill in the sun while he remained in the shade, or, more frequently,by beating up his consort, who, if she was not a lamb of God totake away one's sins, at least served to lay up for her spouse manytorments in Purgatory--if perchance he should get there, a matter ofdoubt to the devout women. As if for the fun of it, these two used tobeat each other up beautifully, giving free shows to the neighborhoodwith vocal and instrumental accompaniments, four-handed, soft, loud,with pedal and all.

  Whenever these scandals reached the ears of Padre Salvi, he wouldsmile, cross himself, and recite a paternoster. They called him agrafter, a hypocrite, a Carlist, and a miser: he merely smiled andrecited more prayers. The alferez had a little anecdote which healways related to the occasional Spaniards who visited him:

  "Are you going over to the convento to visit the sanctimonious rascalthere, the little curate? Yes! Well, if he offers you chocolate whichI doubt--but if he offers it remember this: if he calls to the servantand says, 'Juan, make a cup of chocolate, _eh!_' then stay withoutfear; but if he calls out, 'Juan, make a cup of chocolate, _ah!_'then take your hat and leave on a run."

  "What!" the startled visitor would ask, "does he poisonpeople? _Carambas!_"

  "No, man, not at all!"

  "What then?"

  "'Chocolate_, eh!_' means thick and rich, while 'chocolate, _ah!_'means watered and thin."

  But we are of the opinion that this was a slander on the part ofthe alferez, since the same story is told of many curates. At least,it may be a thing peculiar to the Order.

  To make trouble for the curate, the soldier, at the instigation of hiswife, would prohibit any one from walking abroad after nine o'clock atnight. Dona Consolacion would then claim that she had seen the curate,disguised in a pina camisa and salakot, walking about late. Fray Salviwould take his revenge in a holy manner. Upon seeing the alferez enterthe church he would innocently order the sacristan to close all thedoors, and would then go up into the pulpit and preach until the verysaints closed their eyes and even the wooden dove above hi
s head,the image of the Holy Ghost, murmured for mercy. But the alferez,like all the unregenerate, did not change his ways for this; he wouldgo away cursing, and as soon as he was able to catch a sacristan, orone of the curate's servants, he would arrest him, give him a beating,and make him scrub the floor of the barracks and that of his own house,which at such times was put in a decent condition. On going to paythe fine imposed by the curate for his absence, the sacristan wouldexplain the cause. Fray Salvi would listen in silence, take the money,and at once turn out his goats and sheep so that they might grazein the alferez's garden, while he himself looked up a new text foranother longer and more edifying sermon. But these were only littlepleasantries, and if the two chanced to meet they would shake handsand converse politely.

  When her husband was sleeping off the wine he had drunk, or wassnoring through the siesta, and she could not quarrel with him, DonaConsolacion, in a blue flannel camisa, with a big cigar in her mouth,would take her stand at the window. She could not endure the youngpeople, so from there she would scrutinize and mock the passing girls,who, being afraid of her, would hurry by in confusion, holding theirbreath the while, and not daring to raise their eyes. One great virtueDona Consolation possessed, and this was that she had evidently neverlooked in a mirror.

  These were the rulers of the town of San Diego.