Virtually Perfect

by Paige Roberts

  “Thanks. Sorry to hear about yours. How is she . . . ?”

  “Cancer-free, going on two years.” She glanced over her shoulder, then looked back at Lizzie. “Your mom really shouldn’t be looking at sites like Zoe’s—”

  “I know.”

  “Is she . . . I mean, has she seen the latest?”

  Lizzie nodded. “I’m not sure it’s changed her mind, but we’ll see. I guess some of it will depend on how you guys ‘spin’ the story.”

  “I’m not spinning things to let Zoe off the hook.”

  “Really? Because it kind of sounded like it.”

  “Give me a little credit, okay? I work for CC Media. I don’t work for Zoe Silvester.”

  “Where is she, by the way? Does anyone know?”

  “Kathryn says she’ll be at dinner, so . . .” April shrugged.

  “April? Hello?” Kathryn appeared behind her. “Ah, there you are. Jim thought maybe you’d taken off!”

  “I was looking for the bathroom.”

  “You won’t find it in the butler’s pantry.”

  “I was just saying a quick hello to Lizzie. It had been a while.”

  “Yes, well . . .” Kathryn smiled tightly. Lizzie noted Kathryn now offered her the same sorts of expressions she usually reserved for Nate. “Jim is waiting for his coffee,” Kathryn said to Lizzie. “April, I’ll show you where the powder room is.”

  “Great,” April said.

  Kathryn grabbed April by the shoulder and began directing her toward the hall bathroom.

  “Good luck with everything,” Lizzie called after her.

  April turned around. She stared at Lizzie for a beat, then smiled. “You too.”

  And although there was no way for Lizzie to say for certain, she somehow knew in her heart that April meant it.

  CHAPTER 36

  Dinner approached, and Lizzie still hadn’t seen any signs of Zoe. April had left around two, and Lizzie spent the time afterward tidying the kitchen. Now that she’d had some sort of closure with April, Lizzie couldn’t think of a single reason to stay at the Silvesters’, but she hadn’t seen Nate since that morning and didn’t want to quit or leave without talking to him. She also needed to have the last word with Zoe. She told herself she’d stay through dinner and that would be that.

  She needed to pick up a few items at Avalon Market, so she grabbed her shopping bags and headed out. On her way to the car, she saw Nate walking up the driveway.

  “Hi,” she said as they met in the middle of the driveway.

  “Going somewhere?”

  Home, she thought. Away from here. But she couldn’t bring herself to say good-bye yet. She still needed to find Zoe.

  “Avalon Market,” she said. “Want to join me?”

  “Sure.” He glanced at her car. “Want me to drive?”

  “Are you embarrassed by my ride?”

  “I’m more concerned that we’ll come out to find a tire missing. You don’t seem to be having great luck.”

  “Fair enough.”

  “Let me just grab my keys and I’ll be right back.”

  Lizzie waited next to his car, a black BMW sedan. She hadn’t noticed it before, probably because it blended in with the other luxury cars in the driveway.

  “Nice set of wheels for a professor,” she said as he returned with the keys.

  “It’s four years old, and I bought it used.” He unlocked the doors.

  “Still.”

  He shrugged as they both got into the car. “I didn’t buy it to be fancy. I’ve always been a proponent of used cars, and I’ve found the nicer ones hold up better.”

  “I don’t know. My mom bought a used Camry back when I was in high school, and that thing lasted forever.”

  He started the engine. “Then maybe next time I’ll buy a Camry.”

  He pulled out of the driveway and turned right onto Dune. Was there a tinge of annoyance in his voice? Lizzie couldn’t tell. Maybe it was her comment about his car, but she somehow doubted it. More likely, he blamed her in some way for the chaos that had ensued since Zoe’s story broke.

  “Thanks for standing up for me earlier,” she said.

  “About leaking the story? Don’t mention it. Frankly, I was standing up for myself more than anything.”

  “Thanks anyway.”

  Why was everything so awkward all of a sudden? Had she completely misjudged the chemistry between them?

  “So I was thinking,” they both said at the same time.

  Lizzie blushed. “Sorry.”

  “No, no—go ahead.”

  “No, it was nothing. Forget about it.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Definitely. You were saying?”

  She braced herself. She’d known all along their relationship might end abruptly and awkwardly, but she had expected to make it to the end of the day. She still had dinner and the evening ahead of her.

  “I was just thinking . . .” he continued. “I’m leaving Sunday, and I didn’t have plans to come back for the rest of the summer. So that being the case—”

  “I know,” Lizzie jumped in. “You’re right.”

  “Sorry?”

  “You’re right. It doesn’t make sense, you and me. It would never work.”

  “Oh. Well, in that case . . . never mind.”

  “What?”

  “I was going to say I’d like to stay in touch somehow, and maybe take you to dinner before I go.”

  “Oh.”

  “But obviously I’m barking up the wrong tree.”

  “No, no—I just assumed you weren’t, I don’t know. Into it. You seem really aloof.”

  “You think maybe that’s because I just threw my family to the dogs?”

  “See, this is what I mean. The way you’re talking to me—it’s like you’re mad at me or something. You’re the one who leaked the story. I didn’t ask you to do that. I was perfectly happy to do it myself.”

  “I know; I just . . .” He pulled to the side of the road and put the car in park. He took a deep breath. “It’s a lot to digest at once, that’s all. Especially all the stuff with my dad.”

  “I’m sure. But I don’t want you holding this over my head and resenting me.”

  “I won’t. Honest.” He rested his hand on hers. “So about dinner, I was thinking maybe tomorrow we could—”

  “I’m quitting.”

  Lizzie wasn’t sure if Nate looked relieved or surprised. “When?”

  “Tonight. After dinner. I just want to wait until I’ve had one last conversation with Zoe.”

  Nate huffed. “Good luck with that.”

  “I know it’ll get ugly, but I don’t care. I need to look her in the face and—”

  “No, what I’m saying is, good luck with looking her in the face. If I had to guess, she’s long gone.”

  “What do you mean ‘long gone’? Kathryn said she’ll be at dinner.”

  “Of course she did. That’s Kathryn. I’m not saying Zoe is on a flight to Mexico, but . . . well, by tonight? Maybe she’s on a flight to Mexico.”

  “Please. Over this? She’s not a fugitive.”

  “Maybe not of the law. But of her family. Of her followers and acolytes. I heard my dad talking earlier. The way they’re spinning the story? He knew nothing about her site or its inauthenticity, nor did he know anything about a potential deal with CC Ventures. In turn, CC Ventures didn’t realize the author of The Clean Life was Jim Silvester’s daughter and, at any rate, had already determined they would not invest in the site due to some questions about its authenticity. Zoe is getting the help she needs, and the family would appreciate its privacy. All questions about the company can be addressed to April.”

  “But if Zoe is getting the help she needs . . .”

  “Kathryn wants to send her to some ‘retreat,’ which I think is code for some sort of psychiatric facility, but there’s no way Zoe will agree to that. Hence my hypothesis about her making a run for it.”

  “You think she alrea
dy left?”

  He shrugged. “I haven’t seen her; have you?”

  “No, but then how would she know about her parents’ plans?”

  “Zoe’s no fool. She’s pretty good at reading the tea leaves.”

  “But she can’t just leave. She’s the one who created this mess. She has to take some amount of responsibility.”

  “That would be a first.”

  Lizzie knew he was right but couldn’t bring herself to accept Zoe’s potential escape. She wanted Zoe to atone for her wrongs or, at the very least, apologize. But that would never happen if she disappeared for good. Worse, she could start anew somewhere else—under a different name and with a different life story—and peddle the same sort of crap that had gotten her in trouble before, or even new crap that was just as harmful, if not more so.

  “I have to find her,” Lizzie said.

  Nate shook his head. “I don’t think that’s going to happen.”

  “Watch me.” She placed Nate’s hand back on the steering wheel and pointed ahead of them. “Drive that way and make a left at the light. I know someone who might know where she is.”

  * * *

  Nate pulled into the gas station and furrowed his brow.

  “I don’t need gas,” he said.

  Lizzie didn’t answer and peered through the front window. Three cars were filling up at the pump, leaving one available for Nate’s car. “Pull in front of that one,” Lizzie said.

  Nate did as she instructed, even if he seemed baffled. He turned off the car and tapped his thumbs on the steering wheel while they waited. No one came.

  “I’m sorry, what exactly are we doing here?”

  “Sh-h-h.” Lizzie glanced out the window. Her eyes brightened. “Here he comes. Roll down your window.”

  Nate lowered his window, and seconds later Trevor appeared in front of it. “What grade?” he asked.

  Nate looked at Lizzie. “Uh . . . premium, I guess. . . .”

  “You’ll need to open the tank.”

  “Before he does that . . .” Lizzie cleared her throat.

  Trevor hadn’t noticed her sitting beside Nate, but when he ducked down to look in the car his expression changed. “Oh,” he said. He stared at her coolly.

  Nate frowned. “You two know each other?”

  “Where’s Zoe?” Lizzie asked, ignoring Nate.

  Trevor shrugged. “How would I know?”

  “Is she still in Avalon?”

  “Like I said, how would—”

  “Listen, I know you two talk. Nate seems to think she’s skipped town.”

  “Nate?”

  Nate raised his hand. “Me. What are you guys . . . how do you know each other?”

  “Long story,” Lizzie said. She pointed at Trevor. “So did she leave or not?”

  “No idea. I wouldn’t be surprised. Thanks to you, she’d have every reason to bounce.”

  “I didn’t leak the story,” Lizzie said.

  “Sure you didn’t.”

  “She didn’t,” Nate said. “I did.”

  Trevor narrowed his eyes and studied Nate. “Wait, aren’t you like her stepbrother or something?”

  “Half brother.”

  “And you ratted her out? Dick move.”

  “Listen, I’m not going to argue with a guy who thought it was totally appropriate to show up to my dad’s Fourth of July party without a shirt or shoes.”

  “Fuck you, dude. You have no idea who I am.”

  “And who are you?”

  Trevor stared at Nate. “If you don’t know, I’m not going to break it down for you.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Let’s just say I keep this gas station busy and leave it at that.” He tapped the side of Nate’s car. “Maybe you should fill up somewhere else.”

  Then he walked away and waited on the car in front of them.

  * * *

  They never made it to Avalon Market. Instead, Lizzie asked Nate to drive back to the house.

  “What about dinner?”

  “I’ll make do with what I already have. It doesn’t have to be great—I’m quitting tonight anyway.”

  Nate glanced in his rearview mirror for what to Lizzie felt like the fiftieth time as he drove up Dune Drive. “So who was that guy?”

  “Trevor? He’s Zoe’s friend. I think they party together sometimes.”

  “Ah. That makes sense.”

  “What does? That she parties with gas station attendants?”

  “No, that she hangs with a guy who probably deals drugs.”

  Lizzie stared at Nate. Was that what Trevor had meant about keeping the gas station busy? She supposed that made sense, but she wasn’t entirely sure it suited Zoe’s persona.

  “Miss ‘Whole foods, whole spirit, whole life’?”

  “I know it will shock you to hear that Zoe is a huge hypocrite,” Nate said. “She may condemn so-called chemicals in her food, but she has no problem consuming chemicals in other ways.”

  “And you didn’t leak that to the media?”

  “Listen, I’m not trying to completely destroy my family. The current story is plenty for now, thanks.”

  Lizzie leaned back against the seat and stared out the window. Every time she thought she’d figured Zoe out, she’d learn something new that would alter her perception. It was like staring through a camera lens and bringing the subject into perfect focus and then having her move ever so slightly backwards and to the right, blurring any sort of clarity. Lizzie doubted she’d ever fully understand Zoe. She wondered if Zoe would ever understand herself.

  “I think she mainly takes stuff to self-medicate,” Nate said after Lizzie had been quiet for a while.

  They pulled into the driveway, and Lizzie noticed Zoe’s car was still missing. Lizzie’s car was there, but as she looked closer she noticed the tires on the driver’s side were flat.

  She waited until Nate had turned off the car and gotten out to survey the damage. She circled the car and saw the tires on the other side were flat, too.

  “What’s up?” Nate asked as he came up behind her.

  “Someone let the air out of my tires.”

  “I told you this car was bad luck.”

  She stooped down and looked at the tire more closely. “But we just saw Trevor. He’s still at the gas station. There’s no way he could have done this.”

  “Who’s saying he did it?”

  “He’s the one who keyed the side.”

  “Says who?”

  “Him. Or I guess he didn’t say that directly, but he alluded to having done it when he threatened me the other night.”

  “He threatened you?”

  She waved Nate off. “It wasn’t a big deal. Or, you know, I survived, so. . . .”

  He lifted her to her feet. “I wish you’d told me—I would have pounded his face in.”

  “I can take care of myself, thanks.”

  He pulled her in for a hug, and she leaned into his chest and closed her eyes. For a brief moment, everything else fell away. There was no Zoe, no vandalized car, no Clean Life, no mom with cancer. She wished they could stay like this forever. She wrapped her arms tighter.

  “Guess I can’t quit tonight, huh? Unless I plan on walking back to Philadelphia . . .”

  “I’ve seen your sneakers. I wouldn’t try it.”

  She laughed, but the truth was she didn’t find any of this very funny. She wanted to leave. Even if she didn’t find Zoe, even if it meant leaving without having the last word, she was just so sick of it all.

  “What a cluster,” she sighed. She was still hugging Nate. It was as if she were afraid that if she let go everything would start falling apart, including herself.

  “What can I do to help?”

  “Figure out how to reinflate my tires.”

  “Done.”

  “And make all of this go away.”

  “Not so sure I can deliver on that one.”

  “Okay, then maybe just start with the tires.�
��

  He kissed the top of her head, but whatever brief moment of affection passed between them was interrupted by a gasp. Lizzie pulled away and turned around to see Kathryn standing behind them in the driveway.

  “I should have known.”

  She looked furious, but Lizzie wasn’t sure why.

  Nate sighed. “Hello, Kathryn.”

  “Don’t ‘hello’ me. The two of you—of course. It makes perfect sense. Scheming against Zoe to get her into trouble.”

  “Nobody was scheming,” Nate said.

  “Please. Do I look like an idiot?”

  “Do you actually want me to answer that?”

  Kathryn turned puce. “You can both go to hell. Wait until I tell Jim.”

  “Tell him what, exactly?”

  “That you two are . . .” She waved her finger at the two of them. “. . . doing it, or whatever, and that’s why you leaked the story. To impress her. Because the ‘neighborhoods’ thing clearly wasn’t working, like it never does, which is why you’re still single at thirty-five.”

  “Wow. Don’t hold back. Tell me what you really think.”

  “What I really think? I think you’re a loser who’s been trying to get back in his dad’s good graces for years because he’s terrified of being cut out of the will. Well, let me tell you, I don’t care that you and Jim kissed and made up this morning. I will make it my life’s work to make sure you never get a penny.”

  “More for you and your plastic surgery, right?”

  Kathryn’s eyes went wild. “You have no idea what you’re talking about, you little shit.”

  “Maybe not, but I’m pretty sure I know where Zoe got her crazy streak from—”

  Something in Kathryn seemed to snap. She’d had enough. “Go fuck yourself!” she shouted at Nate. She turned to Lizzie. “And as for you—pack your bags. You’re fired.”

  Nate huffed in disbelief. “Fired? She didn’t do anything.”

  “Nate, it’s fine; you don’t have to—”

  “She betrayed our family,” Kathryn said. “I hired her to cook. Not to fuck you. Not to ruin our family’s reputation. She should have kept her nose where it belonged.”

  “Up your ass?”

  For a second, Lizzie thought Kathryn had stopped breathing. The scream that eventually came out of her mouth was so loud, Lizzie worried one of the neighbors would call the police, thinking someone was being murdered.