Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married
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CHAPTER THREE
That the saying “Like mother, like daughter” or “Like father, like son” is not a myth
1. James Garbarino, Lost Boys: Why Our Sons Turn Violent and How We Can Save Them (New York: Free Press, 1999), 50.
2. Theodore Jacob and Sheri Johnson, “Parenting Influences on the Development of Alcohol Abuse and Dependence.” Alcohol Health and Research World, vol. 21, no. 3 (1997): 204–209. For additional information, see the National Association for Children of Alcoholics website: www.nacoa.net/impfacts.htm.
CHAPTER FIVE
That apologizing is a sign of strength
1. 1 John 1:8–9.
2. Gary D. Chapman and Jennifer Thomas, The Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships (Chicago: Northfield Publishing, 2006), 125–28.
CHAPTER SIX
That forgiveness is not a feeling
1. Psalm 103:12.
CHAPTER EIGHT
That we needed a plan for handling our money
1. Acts 20:35.
2. Ellie Kay, The Little Book of Big Savings (Colorado Springs: WaterBrook Press, 2009).
CHAPTER NINE
That mutual sexual fulfillment is not automatic
1. Deuteronomy 24:5.
2. See William G. Axinn and Arland Thorton, “The Relationship Between Cohabitation and Divorce: Selectivity or casual influence?” Demography 29 (1992): 357–74; and Zheng Wu, “Premarital Cohabitation and Postmarital Cohabitation Union Formation,” Journal of Family Issues 16 (1995): 212–32.
3. Barbara Wilson, The Invisible Bond: How to Break Free from Your Sexual Past (Colorado Springs: Multnomah Publishers, 2006).
4. Clifford and Joyce Penner, The Gift of Sex (Nashville: W Publishing Group, 2003).
CHAPTER TEN
That I was marrying into a family
1. Psalm 133:1.
2. Ron L. Deal, The Smart StepFamily (Minneapolis: Bethany House, 2002).
CHAPTER ELEVEN
That spirituality is not to be equated with “going to church”
1. 2 Corinthians 6:14–16.
2. Genesis 1:1.
3. Genesis 1:27 (TNIV).
4. Hebrews 1:1–3.
CHAPTER TWELVE
That personality profoundly influences behavior
1. For more information, or to locate a counselor in your area, visit: www.prepare-enrich.com.
EPILOGUE
1. Kim McAlister, “The X-Generation,” HR Magazine 39 (May 1994): 21.
Resources
Websites
Startmarriageright.com. Articles, videos, and the latest resources to help you have a successful marriage because your wedding day is just the beginning!
Dr. Gary Chapman: www.5lovelanguages.com. Numerous resources to help you discover the marriage you’ve always wanted.
FamilyLife: www.familylife.com. A variety of marriage resources.
Marriage Partnership: www.marriagepartnership.com. Articles and insights geared to couples in the early years.
Financial expert Dave Ramsey: www.daveramsey.com. Includes many resources specifically for young couples.
Crown Financial Ministries: www.crown.org. A variety of helpful financial tools. Excellent for those starting out.
Ron Deal: www.successfulstepfamilies.com. Excellent resources for couples contemplating remarriage after divorce or the death of a spouse.
Books
Ron L. Deal, The Smart Step Family (Bethany House). Seven steps to a healthy step-up family.
Ron L. Deal and David H. Olson, The Remarriage Checkup (Bethany House). Advice for couples who are contemplating remarriage after divorce or the death of a spouse.
Tim and Joy Downs, One of Us Must Be Crazy… and I’m Pretty Sure It’s You and Fight Fair! (Moody). Advice on dealing with conflict.
Emerson Eggerichs, Love & Respect (Integrity). What wives and husbands really want.
Tony Evans, For Married Men Only and For Married Women Only (Moody). Biblical insights.
Jerry B. Jenkins, Hedges (Crossway). On protecting your marriage from infidelity.
Kevin Leman, Sheet Music (Tyndale). On sexual intimacy.
Clifford and Joyce Penner, The Gift of Sex (W Publishing Group). A forthright, sensitive guide to understanding sexuality.
Greg Smalley and Erin Smalley, Before You Plan Your Wedding… Plan Your Marriage (Howard). Insights from a younger married couple.
John Townsend and Henry Cloud, Boundaries in Marriage (Zondervan). Dealing with some of the psychological issues.
Ed Young, The Ten Commandments of Marriage (Moody). Counsel from a well-known pastor.
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Learn how to
resolve conflict
The Five Languages of Apology Anger: Handling a Powerful Emotion in a Healthy Way
We are experts at wronging each other, but when it comes to setting things right, we all could use some help. Counselor Jennifer Thomas joins Dr. Chapman in an eye-opening study of one of the most important yet least understood pillars of human relationships: the apology. Surprisingly, saying “I’m sorry” isn’t primarily a matter of will—it’s a matter of how. When anger explodes out of control, it can cause irreparable damage; buried, unresolved anger can be just as destructive. How can we handle our anger—and help those we love with theirs? Relationship expert Gary Chapman reveals some surprising insights and techniques for managing anger in a healthy, even productive way.
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There is hope
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Undefiled: Redemption from Sexual Sin, Restoration for Broken Relationships
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Table of Contents
INTRODUCTION
CHAPTER ONE That being in love is not an adequate foundation for building a successful marriage
CHAPTER TWO That romantic love has two stages
CHAPTER THREE That the saying “Like mother, like daughter” and “Like father, like son” is not a myth
CHAPTER FOUR How to solve disagreements without arguing
CHAPTER FIVE That apologizing is a sign of strength
CHAPTER SIX That forgiveness is not a feeling
CHAPTER SEVEN That toilets are not self-cleaning
CHAPTER EIGHT That we needed a plan for handling our money
CHAPTER NINE That mutual sexual fulfillment is not automatic
CHAPTER TEN That I was marrying into a family
CHAPTER ELEVEN That spirituality is not to be equated with “going to church”
CHAPTER TWELVE That personality profoundly influences behavior
EPILOGUE
APPENDIX Developing a Healthy Dating Relationship
NOTES
RESOURCES