Sun Touched (Diamara Book 1)

by J. C. Hart

  "My baby. Is everything okay?"

  "The baby is fine. Congratulations, by the way. I have always dreamed of being a grandmother, though I had hoped it wouldn't be like this..."

  "Like what?" Madea spat the words out, then wished she could take them back. She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I...I guess a lot of people aren't thrilled for me, and I feel like I'm the only one that wants this baby." She moved a hand to her belly and rubbed it. "It wasn't even that long ago that I found out. I'm still getting my head around it, but I know I want this child. That's all that matters. I don't want it to ever think it wasn't loved."

  "Is that how you feel now?"

  "I...I don't know how I feel." Her shoulders sagged and she let her head flop back though the muscles of her neck were bunched so tightly that it wasn't relaxing. Firm arms wrapped around her and a hand guided her head forward, onto her Tahra's shoulder. A sob tore free and she brought her arms up, wrapping them around the familiar shape of the mother she hadn't seen in so long.

  "I never stopped thinking about you. Never stopped hoping that someday I would find a way to bring us together. I know you probably don't believe me right now, but it's the truth and I will work my hardest to prove it to you." Her mother was crying, fat tears that soaked through the fabric of Madea's top.

  Madea pulled back and wiped her own tears away. "Don't worry about it for now, okay? I'll try to understand all of this, if you'll promise to forgive me my outbursts. There is way too much going on in my brain right now, and I don't even know how to start processing it."

  Her mother smiled sadly. "I'm sorry. I really am. I never wanted to use you like this."

  "I thought you said you wanted to share things. What do you mean, use me?"

  "Your father is an important man, Maddy." Her mother stepped away and began to pace, not looking at Madea as she spoke. "He doesn't know what I know, he thinks all these people are mad, thinks being Sun-Touched is a bad thing. He strips them of their hopes, their dreams, their personalities. It's not okay, not when I know what I know. I've tried to send him messages, to get him to listen to me. But he won't hear a word of it. He's so stuck in his ways, so determined not to hear the truth that I had to find another way to get to him." The bitterness in her mother's voice surprised her, but it wasn't enough to distract Madea from what she had said.

  "Me." The word echoed around the room and the meagre warmth she had stored from her mother's embrace fled.

  "Yes. You. I'm sorry. But you have to believe that wasn't the only reason. I wanted you here with me." She turned back, eyes wet with tears.

  Her mother had never been able to hide her emotions, so Madea closed the space between them. This time it was she who initiated the embrace, pulling her mother in, trying to squeeze away the distance of years between them.

  A knock on the door drew them apart. Garrett entered, bearing a tray of food and drink. "I thought it was time you have something substantial to eat. It's been a while since your last meal."

  "How long?" Madea sat down on the bed again and reached for the tray. The scent of fresh, warm bread hit her nostrils and she had to swallow the saliva that instantly filled her mouth.

  "Almost a whole day." He smiled as she bit into the bread, her eyes rolling back in pleasure.

  "This is really good. Where did you get it?" She took a second bite, then a third.

  "Garrett makes it himself," Tahra said. "He's quite handy to have around."

  Madea shoved more bread into her mouth and reached for another piece, but Garrett grabbed her hand and pushed it down. "Pace yourself," he said gently. He scanned her face, for what, Madea wasn't sure. "Are you feeling okay now? Is the pain gone?"

  "I told you she was fine, Garrett," Tahra huffed. "Stop fussing over her. That's my job."

  "I don't need fussing over, by anyone," Madea said, her voice firm. "But thank you for asking." She reached out and squeezed Garrett's hand. His skin was warm and the connection sent a jolt up her arm. She could forgive him his part in this; after all, it had been Tahra's orders he'd acted on, and without him she would be Hollowed by now and she wouldn't know her mother was still alive. And maybe, as they said, being Sun-Touched wasn't such a bad thing after all. Madea faced her mother. "So you're sure the baby is fine?"

  "Perfectly healthy. You're almost into the second trimester, your initial symptoms should start clearing up soon."

  "Really? That would be great." She smiled, one hand tracing the edge of her bump. "What about the exposure? Has anyone pregnant become Sun-Touched before?"

  "Not that we know of, but there should be no danger. The creatures mean no harm."

  "How can you be sure?" Madea chewed at the inside of her lip.

  "It's hard to explain." Tahra smiled that blissful smile again, though it was beginning to give Madea the creeps instead of reassurance. "You'll understand when it happens to you."

  "And when will that be?"

  "It's different for everyone." Tahra nodded sagely.

  "Speaking of everyone...we should take you to meet the others," Garrett said. He held a hand out to Madea and she grabbed it, letting him help her down from the table. "There are more of us than you might think."

  "But where are they?"

  "In our secret city." Garrett winked as he led her to the door and she couldn't help but giggle. He had a way of drawing her focus and for a moment she forgot that they were sharing this space with her not-dead mother. "After the first explorers discovered the madness, they tunnelled beneath the ground, hoping to avoid exposure. No one wants to live like a rat though, so they built the domes so the colonists could reside on the surface."

  "I guess that makes sense. Does no one use the tunnels now, though? Surely the council knows about them."

  "The entrances were all locked, though the tunnels were left in place in case of emergency," Tahra pitched in. "I had seen something about it in your father's files, and thought it was the best place to go. I've never seen anyone else use them since I found them, and we have good security in place. We've made some extensions, over the years."

  "Your mother has done amazing things. Without her, none of us would have been saved." Garrett flicked his gaze to her mother, and Madea turned away, not wanting to see the reverent look in his eyes. "It might not seem like much, but its home to us."

  "It's your home too, if you want it," Tahra said. Madea could hear the emotion in her voice and was torn between wanting to forgive her mother's absence, and wanting to keep her at arms-length. The mention of home sparked a wave of grief. No matter what happened, she would never be able to live in hers again. But she had to go back, she was missing something important.

  "I need to get Jaxon." She really was the worst wannabe mother in the world. She had all but forgotten him in the last few hours. Madea scanned the room for the door again, spotting it along the left hand wall and heading for it.

  "Who is Jaxon?" her mother asked.

  "The boy I'm looking after. I asked Sarai and Rickard to take care of him until I could come, but I should go. He's already been through enough."

  "It might be better for him to stay in the domes, Maddy," Tahra suggested. "He's in no danger there."

  "I don't know if that's true." Madea stopped at the door, turning back to the others. "Jaxon's mother was Hollowed, and her father told me it was a set up. That she was Hollowed so that no one would know who the father was. Would they do that? Could he have been right?"

  It was Garrett's turn to take a deep breath. "I don't know who exactly you're talking about, but if you're asking whether sometimes the people who are Hollowed are made that way to keep them quiet, then the answer is yes."

  Bile rose in the back of her throat as she jumped to the next thought. "Her father...They said he was Touched and that it came on quickly." She scanned the room, looking for somewhere to vomit but there was nothing. She dropped to her knees, letting everything she'd eaten at dinner leave her body in one foul heave. "I need water." She wiped her mouth with the back of her
hand and sobbed, fighting down the nausea that still threatened. "I...I... I gave him the jinweed. I was there to drug him. I was part of this, with him, with Janae. How many people? How many people have been Hollowed for no good reason?" Great sobs erupted from her chest making it hard to breathe. "I might as well have killed them!"

  She felt a cool flask against her hand and groped for the lid, flipping it back and swallowing as much as she could, enough to stop the wail that threatened to tear free.

  "You didn't know," Garrett said, his voice soft and calm. He smoothed the hair back from her face, ignoring the mess on the floor.

  Madea took a deep breath, and then another. "But I know now." As she exhaled she closed her eyes and did her best to remember what it was like not to know the truth.

  "Maddy, I want you to listen to me." Her mother's voice was the same tone she had used when Madea was a child, like the time Tahra had been explaining why another girl in her class picked on her. "If your father had listened, no one would ever be Hollowed. None of this is your fault. You were doing your job, and no one can hold that against you." Tahra tilted Madea's chin up and held her gaze. "Do you hear me?"

  She nodded, fighting to hold back another wave of tears. "I'll try to think of it like that." But she knew she wouldn't be able to ignore it for long. How would she face Jaxon, knowing that she had played a part in destroying his mother, and his grandfather? "I need to get Jaxon. If what his grandfather said was true, then he's not safe."

  "What did he say?" Tahra asked.

  "That Jaxon is the son of some highborn, that they were trying to keep Janae quiet by having her Hollowed. If they could do that to her, they might do it to Jaxon, right?"

  "Children aren't usually Hollowed," Garrett said. "It's not common, but it's not unheard of."

  "I don't care how uncommon it is. He's not safe as long as he's up there, alone, with no one to look out for him."

  "You said that Sarai would take care of him."

  "She'll probably take him to father, and I can't trust him, can't trust her. Not anymore." Madea took another swig of water and then handed the flask back to Garrett. "I need to get Jaxon and if you won't help me, I'll do it on my own."

  Tahra folded her arms. "You can't go back so soon, they will be looking for you. If anything, they will use this boy as a lure. You'd be walking right into their trap—"

  "I'll help you," Garrett said, cutting off Tahra. "If it's important, if you think he's in danger, then we'll find a way." He shot Tahra a pointed look.

  "It's not—"

  "It's not up for discussion," Madea said. "I will find a way, with or without you."

  "With," Garrett asserted. He held a hand up to Tahra when she opened her mouth. "First, let's get you familiar with our home, and then we can talk about Jaxon."

  "Okay." Madea nodded. She had thought her mother would support her in this, would do anything she could to get back on side with the daughter she'd left behind. Apparently Madea's safety was more important than her peace of mind. "Lead on."

  Tahra and Garrett led her through rooms and tunnels, sparse in their fittings, but comfortable enough. They introduced her to a range of people, whose names she instantly forgot: the guy who oversaw the armoury, the woman in charge of distributing supplies, the folks who organized and worked in the crews outside to make sure enough food was harvested, the men and women who monitored the cameras and made sure their facility was secure.

  "Many of us are outdoors, finding food, keeping an eye on who is coming and going— anyone who might have been exposed."

  "How do you get out of the city? I'm assuming you stay out of the domes as much as possible."

  "We've got exits straight to the outside." Garrett grinned. "Saves worrying about being spotted, and because of the fear of exposure, not many spend time out of the domes unless it's necessary."

  "That said, not everyone wants to go outside," Tahra pitched in. "The creatures are only on the surface, they don't seem to like coming into the tunnels, and there are those of us who aren't comfortable yet with their new knowledge. We don't push anyone above ground until they are ready to face their new reality."

  "What about me?" Madea asked.

  "What do you mean?" Tahra looked confused.

  "I haven't seen these creatures yet. Aren't you worried about how I might react when I do see one? What if that happens when I'm getting Jaxon back?" She was worried now. She'd been catching glimpses of things at the edges of her vision back in the domes, but never anything solid enough to put a name to. "Is there any way to speed up the process?"

  Tahra and Garrett exchanged a long look before Garrett spoke again. "There is a way, well, we think it works. We haven't had a chance to test it thoroughly, but more often than not..."

  "And?"

  "I can take you out of the domes to one of the places they congregate. The extra exposure to light, plus the density of them seems to push the person's vision to the point where they can see them. It's intense though, we've only had a few people experience it."

  Madea had moved in front of Garrett. She grabbed his shirt in her hands. "Take me. The sooner we do this the better."

  He glanced back at Tahra who nodded reluctantly. "Be careful out there. They probably aren't looking outside the domes, but you never know."

  "I'll take the utmost care." Garrett nodded back at her and then grasped one of Madea's hands. "Do you need anything before we leave? I'll grab some basic supplies on our way out, but we shouldn't be gone more than a few hours."

  "I'm ready." Madea swallowed. "I'll see you later?"

  "Of course." Tahra smiled. "I’ve just got you back, I'm not planning on losing you again so soon."

  Madea wanted to hug her, but Garrett tightened his grip on her hand and she let him lead her down another tunnel.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  The natural light hurt Madea's eyes when they pushed through the hatch. She stumbled into the clearing, trying to figure out where they were in relation to the city. She found it to the north, the multiple domes sloping above the treeline, sunlight reflecting off their surfaces. She revelled in the feeling of wind against her skin, out here, free from covering. Now that she was already Touched, she felt like she could endure the heat of the sun without fear for the first time since coming to Diamara.

  Garrett concealed the entrance. He'd done such a good job that if she hadn't just come through it, she wouldn't have been able to spot it.

  "How do you live like that? Under there?" she asked.

  "How do you live in the domes? That's just as restrictive." He shrugged. "Besides, I don't spend nearly as much time down there as others. I like to watch, and help."

  "How long have you been watching me?"

  "A few weeks. Your mother was eager to bring you in with us, but she thought she'd give your father one last chance to help create change."

  "And if he had? What then?"

  Garrett shrugged. "To be honest, she probably would have exposed you anyway." Madea went to speak but he held a hand up. "Don't take that the wrong way. Once you've seen what we can see, you'll understand everything better. It's very hard to put into words, but hopefully it won't be long and you'll know, too."

  "Right then. What do we do?" She glanced around the clearing. "Do we stay here, or...what?"

  Garrett scanned the cleaning, then shook his head. "No, there aren't many here today. There's a good spot nearby though. Come on." He held his hand out and Madea paused before she took it.

  "Is there a reason you keep holding my hand?" It seemed so innocent, the way he did it, and yet when she remembered the scorch of his lips against her body she couldn't help but wonder if there was more to it than kindness.

  "Your mother would kill me if I lost you." He winked. "Humour me."

  She let him lead the way to the trees and then through a twisting path that was barely there at all. "So where are we going?"

  "It's a place I like to go when I need some space. I'm trying to encourage more of us to be
out here, but years of living under the domes has affected people. It's like they don't remember what it was like back on Earth."

  "The fear of being Touched is a real one. No one wants to get Hollowed."

  "But you'd think that the Touched would lose that fear. At least, the ones we save." He shook his head. "We humans are strange creatures."

  "How long has it been for you?" She stepped over a log and ducked under the branch he was holding up for her. They'd had to drop hands in order to traverse the path.

  "A year, I think. Sometimes it seems as though it was only yesterday, and other times it’s like the rest of my life, everything before I was exposed, was a dream."

  "A good one, or a bad one?"

  "Bit of both." Garrett chuckled. "I wouldn't go back though. I couldn't. So many people here cling to Earth and what we had, but this has shown me that we can have something new, something unique."

  Madea stiffened. He could have been speaking about her. Perhaps he was—had he been watching her for long enough to know that she was one of them? One of the ones who wished that things were more like they had been on Earth?

  "What's so wrong about wanting to bring some of Earth to Diamara? It was our home, the place where we were born."

  "It won't be long until we've been here for half our lives, Madea. There is no going back, even if we wanted to." He shook his head. "We are not the same as we were then. We travelled through space, we colonized a new planet. That changes a person."

  "Not to mention being Touched," she said wryly.

  Garrett grinned. "And that." He pushed through a thick hedge and led her into another clearing. There was a small lake here, something she hadn't seen in quite some time. "And we're here. What do you think?" He spread his arms wide, like a child showing off his latest piece of art.

  "It's beautiful." She exhaled, letting some of the tension in her body go. "Can we swim?" The words slipped out before she could stop them.