Carolina Man

by Virginia Kantra

  Hospital. Kate’s stomach hollowed. She swallowed. “What kind of accident?”

  Luke hesitated.

  Josh had muted the sound on the TV and stood, his eyes tracking their interaction as if they were on screen.

  Right, Kate thought. Children present. She smiled at the teenager brightly. “Do you want to go get that pizza now?”

  “Hell, no,” Josh said. “I want to hear this.”

  “Was anybody hurt?” Taylor asked.

  “No. Well.” Luke looked at Kate, a help-me-out-here look.

  What did he want her to say? She had no clue what was going on.

  Because he hadn’t told her, damn it.

  “You know I went to see Chief Rossi,” Luke said to Taylor.

  Taylor nodded, her blue eyes fixed gravely on his face.

  “We went together to talk to your uncle Kevin.”

  Shock swam in her eyes as tears. “Oh, no.”

  “It’s okay,” Luke said.

  Taylor buried her face in his neck.

  “Honey, no, really, it’s really okay,” Luke repeated firmly. He raised Taylor’s head from his shoulder. Their gazes locked, blue on blue. “Your uncle is never going to hurt you, he is never going to bother you again.”

  Kate sucked in her breath.

  “Is he dead?” Taylor whispered.

  “No, he’s in the hospital. In the burn unit. He was cooking drugs in his trailer and there was an accident. An explosion. He was burned—real bad. He’s not going to be a threat to anybody ever again.”

  Burned. “I don’t think the children need to hear the details,” Kate said. They had enough material for nightmares already.

  “‘To the pain,’” Josh murmured.

  Taylor looked at him.

  “What?” Kate asked.

  “Like Humperdinck,” Taylor said.

  “It’s from The Princess Bride,” Josh explained. “The fate worse than death.”

  Taylor smiled a small smile against her father’s shoulder.

  My God, thought Kate, a little shaken by the children’s bloodthirsty acceptance. But maybe there was healing there, too. In fairy tales, the ogre was always slain, the monster vanquished. He is never going to hurt you again.

  To the pain.

  Yes.

  • • •

  “I WISH YOU had called,” Kate said to Luke much later, when the pizza had been eaten, and Josh had gone home, and Taylor was in bed.

  They were seated together on the couch, one of his arms extended across the sofa back, her head against his shoulder. She let herself relax against his warmth as if she belonged there, settled against his side.

  He played with her hair, pulling and releasing the tiny springs. “It happened kind of fast. I told you I’d be home for dinner.”

  “And the fact that you were blown up and hospitalized in the meantime wasn’t something you felt you needed to share.” She forced herself to speak lightly. “What really happened, Luke?”

  “It went down pretty much like I told you. Kevin was mixing up a batch of meth when the sheriff’s deputies arrived. He ran out the back door.” Luke shrugged. “The bottle just slipped.”

  She was a lawyer. She could recognize an evasive witness. There was something he wasn’t telling her. “How do you know the bottle slipped?”

  “I was there. Jack was watching the front, I staked out the back. To make sure he didn’t get away.”

  “Oh. Oh, Luke.” The realization of his danger made her shiver. “What if he’d had a gun?”

  “He didn’t. Not on him.”

  “Meaning, there were guns in the house.”

  Luke didn’t answer.

  Fear and frustration raked her like claws. Did he really imagine that by keeping silent, he was protecting her? “Even if he wasn’t armed, you exposed yourself to terrible contamination.” Too often in her work, she saw the corrosive, destructive effects of meth. “You could have inhaled poison. You could have burned your lungs. You could have . . .”

  Died. Her voice failed her. The thought of never seeing him again, never holding him again, opened a hole in her chest. She could not bear it.

  “I wasn’t really thinking about me. I was more worried about Taylor.” His free hand covered both of hers. He held them, linked together on his thigh, his clasp warm and sure. “The whole time I was at the hospital getting checked out, I kept thinking, what if things had gone the other way? It meant a lot, Kate, knowing Taylor was safe with you. Knowing you were here for her. It meant everything.”

  She swallowed the lump in her throat. “I’m so glad.” He had his whole wonderful, functional family to count on for support. She was beyond moved and humbled that he’d chosen her. That he trusted her with his daughter. “I’m happy to be here for you.”

  “We’re a great team.”

  “Yes.”

  “The three of us.” His face was set, his tone determined.

  Kate had been thinking the same thing. So why did she feel a quiver of unease? “Ye-es,” she said again, more slowly.

  “Right.” He nodded once, decisively, like a soldier accepting his duty. Or a prisoner, she thought, resigned to his fate. “So I’ve decided to leave the Corps.”

  She sat up. Pulled away. “What? When?”

  “That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”

  Yes, but . . . “When did I ever say that?”

  “From the beginning. You said Taylor should be my top priority. And I agree.”

  He sounded tense. Shouldn’t he be happier, if this was his decision?

  She studied his face, his deep blue eyes sunken with exhaustion, his cheeks stubbled and drawn. The trauma of the past two days had obviously taken its toll. Not to mention that he’d nearly gotten himself blown up in a meth lab explosion. Concern twisted her insides. No matter how much she selfishly wanted him to stay, Luke was in no condition to be making important life-changing decisions.

  “We should talk about it later,” Kate said. “When you’re rested.”

  “There’s nothing to talk about.”

  Now he was just being stubborn. “So you’ve made up your mind. Just like that.”

  “I talked to Jack Rossi.”

  The police chief? “What does he have to do with it?”

  “He told me the community college is offering the Basic Law Enforcement Training program in January. Six weeks if you go full-time, six months if you attend night school. By the time I get out, I could be certified.” He looked at her expectantly.

  She didn’t know what to say. Her brain felt like she was on a Mario kart, rushing along, crashing into barriers. After the chaos of her childhood, it was important to her to dot every i, to cross every t, to think through every decision. And Luke had already made up his mind.

  After talking to Jack Rossi. Whom he barely knew.

  He’d never mentioned anything to her.

  “The Dare Island PD would sponsor me for the program,” Jack added. “Tuition would be free.”

  “That’s great,” she said heartily. Even to her own ears, her enthusiasm sounded forced. “If that’s what you really want. But why . . .” Would you leave the Marines? And if you can leave something you love, just like that . . .

  But she couldn’t complete the thought. He’d never said he loved her.

  Luke’s smile twisted. “Would Jack make me the offer?”

  She knew why. He was wonderful. With his compassion and quick thinking, his sense of service and ability to connect with people, he would make a terrific cop.

  “He thinks I’d make a good law officer,” Luke said. “When that meth bottle exploded . . . Jack said he watched me run toward it, not away. Kevin was burning, right? Screaming. And I was next to this tarp. So I used it to smother the flames.”

  She stared at him, stunned. “You mean, you saved his life.”

  “The life of a pervert who molested and terrorized my daughter.” He met her gaze, his eyes dark. Almost bewildered. “Yeah.”

  Her heart
swelled like a balloon in her chest. The solution to violence is not more violence, she’d said to him, talking about her father’s abuse. She’d never expected this Marine, this warrior, to agree with her.

  He hadn’t, not in words. He’d merely done everything in his power to protect Taylor, and then demonstrated his principles at the risk of his own life.

  She curled her fingers around his broad hand. His knuckles were rough. Her hand looked small and pale against his. “What it makes you is a man who’s determined to help others,” she said firmly. “Whose training and whose honor run so deep, you will run into danger even for an enemy you despise. You got that training as a Marine. Is leaving the Corps what you really want?”

  Say yes, she thought. Make me believe.

  Luke was stone-faced. “It’s what I’ve got to do. Taylor’s already lost her mother. She can’t lose her father, too.”

  Kate loved him for his determination to do the right thing. She wanted him to stay. But she wanted him to choose. “Do you really think being a cop is that much safer than being a Marine? Especially after today.”

  His jaw tightened. “At least I’d be home most nights. I can’t marry you and then go off for six to ten months at a stretch, leaving you to take care of my kid.”

  Marry? The bottom dropped out of her stomach. Her heart soared.

  “If . . . if we were ever in that situation, Taylor wouldn’t be your kid,” Kate pointed out carefully. “She would be our kid.”

  He nodded. “Agreed. But we’re not going to be in that situation. Taylor needs a full-time mom and dad.”

  Kate’s hands were cold. Her stomach felt as if she’d swallowed hot coals. She adored Taylor. Kindred spirits. But why couldn’t Luke say that he loved her? That he wanted to be with her?

  “Don’t offer to marry me because Taylor needs a mother. Don’t stay with us because we require some big sacrifice from you. We both deserve better than that.”

  Luke’s jaw knotted. “What do I have to do to prove myself to you? After three weeks, I’m willing to change my life for you. What more do you want from me?”

  Tell me you love me. Reassure me.

  She gritted her teeth so she would not cry. So she would not give in. She was used to being disappointed. But she’d be damned if she begged. She wanted him so much. But not if he didn’t love her. Not if he would grow to resent her for encouraging him to give up the career he loved in favor of the life they could have together.

  “I want you to change your life for yourself,” she said. “Because this is what you want. Because I am what you want.”

  His gaze clashed with hers. His body vibrated with masculine frustration. She half thought he was going to pick her up and cart her off somewhere, to bed or to Vegas. She half wished that he would.

  Pathetic, that’s what she was.

  Something happened behind his eyes. A light. A click. The connection sparked along her veins.

  He released his breath, shaking his head. His mouth twisted. “I’ve been doing this all wrong, haven’t I?”

  “Don’t ask me.” She was not sulking. She did not sulk. “I’m not exactly a relationship expert.”

  His smile broadened. Softened. “Kate.” He took both her hands again, between both of his. Large, warm hands, strong and callused. “I want you. I need you. I love you. Being back home has made me realize that I miss this. I want to be home every Christmas. I want to live closer to my family. I want to raise my daughter on the island where I grew up, and show her where to catch fish and where to watch the stars. I want to serve and protect in a community where I don’t get rocks thrown at me every day on patrol. I can make a life here, a good life. But it won’t be a whole life without you. I want to marry you. What do you want, Kate?”

  A swarm of butterflies rose inside her, all color and motion.

  She opened her mouth and . . . stuck. She was terrified to count on him. On anybody, but on someone she loved most of all. All the lessons of her childhood chattered in her head, drowning out his beautiful words and the plea of her own heart.

  If you never asked, you were never disappointed.

  If you didn’t rely on someone, they could never let you down.

  If you never admitted how desperately you wanted something, it didn’t hurt so much when it was taken away.

  Yes, she loved him. But . . . marriage? whispered a voice like her mother’s. Look at all the marriages that failed. Kate saw them in her office every day.

  “I like what we have together very much,” she said, picking her words like shards of glass. Her hands trembled in his. “I’ve let you into my life farther than I’ve let anyone. I want to be like you. I want to be able to commit to things. But I’m not. I can’t. It’s too soon. I need time.”

  “Do you love me?” His voice was hoarse. The vulnerability in his question cracked her chest wide open.

  “Oh, God, yes.”

  He kissed her, his lips a little rough, a little chapped, infinitely tender. “Then trust me,” he said against her mouth. “Trust what we could have together.”

  “I do trust you.” Hot words, hot tears, pooling at the back of her throat. Her voice was thick with emotion. “I don’t know if I trust myself. My judgment. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to disappoint you. I think I’m more afraid of that than anything. I don’t know if I can be what you want. What Taylor needs.”

  “So many don’ts. That only tells me what you’re afraid of. What do you want, Kate?”

  She met his gaze, his blue eyes dark and steady and sure.

  She did not have his confidence. She didn’t have that strong family foundation that made it easy to believe. Her doubts did not magically disappear, her scars did not vanish. They were part of her, she acknowledged. Maybe they always would be.

  But now her love was part of her, too. Her love for Luke was bigger than her fears. And his love was worth the risk. Was worth everything.

  “I want you,” she said, speaking from her heart. A survivor after all, ready to fight for the love she deserved. That they all deserved. “I want Taylor. I want us to be a family.”

  “That’s what I choose,” Luke said. “I will always choose you. But I can wait until you’re ready.”

  She placed her hand on his chest, sliding her fingers beneath the loose V-neck of the hospital scrubs to touch his warm flesh. Her fingertips traced the ink on his skin. Semper Fi. His breath caught. Her heart quickened. She leaned up and kissed him, a kiss that simmered with tenderness and promise.

  “Don’t wait too long,” she said.

  Luke laughed and pulled her close. “I get out in six months.”

  She smiled and settled against his chest, contentment settling into her bones. “I guess that’s enough time.”

  She felt him swallow. His arms tightened around her. “Whatever you need. You’re worth waiting for.”

  All her life, no one had said those words to her. No one had made her feel like this, safe, protected, and loved.

  Kate raised her head and smiled. “It’s not what I need,” she explained. “That’s how long your sister said it takes to shop for a wedding dress.”

  Luke’s grin widened. His eyes blazed with heat and joy.

  After that, no words were necessary for a long time.

  Epilogue

  LUKE STOOD NEXT to Matt between Josh and Sam, watching his brother’s bride walk toward them.

  The spring green lawn rolled to a tiny strip of beach. Beyond the live oaks, wax myrtle, and waving reeds, Pamlico Sound sparkled and gleamed in the April sun. Yesterday, Josh and Luke had spent a couple of hours helping the florist, Rowan Whitlock, haul tubs of flowering dogwood trees and pots of freesia, ferns, azalea, and hydrangea into place. A light breeze fluttered the sides of the big white rental tent and caught the edge of Allison’s veil.

  She was beautiful. Luke didn’t know squat about dresses, but hers—a flowing, deep-cut column of lace—made her look like one of those tulips she carried, long-stemmed and fresh.
Sweet without being fussy.

  But it wasn’t the dress or the flowers that made throats catch and Tess beam through her tears in the front row of chairs. It was the joy in Allison’s eyes, the absolute confidence in her smile as she floated across the grass on her father’s arm.

  Matt, usually so serious, looked like the happiest guy in the world as he stepped forward to take her hand.

  Luke wanted that. He was ready—eager—to take that next step with Kate. He didn’t mind—much—that she needed time.

  He looked for her in the row next to his parents.

  She grinned at him, shy and happy, her shields down, and a shiver of hope, of impatience, jolted through him. He wanted her so much. He stood straight and still in his dress blues, his collar chafing, and made himself listen to Allison’s aunt, the Episcopal priest, begin the words of the marriage ceremony.

  “The union of husband and wife in heart, body, and mind is intended by God for their mutual joy . . .”

  He met Kate’s eyes and smiled back at her. He didn’t doubt that she loved him. He just had to love her and trust her and wait for her to trust herself.

  And hope to God it didn’t take too long.

  “That each may be to the other a strength in need, a counselor in perplexity, a comfort in sorrow, and a companion in joy,” Allison’s aunt said in her deep, educated Yankee voice.

  Tom cleared his throat noisily.

  “Amen,” everybody said.

  There were more words, more tears, more smiles, more kissing. A lot of kissing, which gave Luke an excuse to grab Kate in the front row. Her lips were warm and soft. Her fingers tightened on his arms.

  Despite his parents’ warm acceptance, he knew she sometimes still felt awkward among so much family.

  “You doing okay?” he murmured as he drew back.

  Her face was rosy. She nodded.

  His mother poked him in the side with her finger. “Get up there. They’re ready for the blessing.”

  And after that there was no time to speak, no chance to get her alone, until the pictures were taken and the toasts were made.

  He could wait.

  He was good at waiting, patient and stubborn as any islander. Kate was worth waiting for.