Magic, Madness, and Mischief

by Kelly McCullough

  “Second question first, as it’s easier to answer. That’s partially from finding the fire in your heart. Now that you can tap that, you’ll be much better able to stay warm even on the iciest day. The rest of it is that you now have a familiar with his full powers, which means I can help the fire in your heart fight the cold.”

  A long silence followed before I finally prompted, “… And the first question?”

  “I don’t know.” He pointed beyond me. “The river’s down that way, and this is no place to linger. I think we’ll want to get over it as quickly as we can. We’re not far from the swamp where we met the selkies this fall, and that means we can use the railroad bridge to cross. But after that?” He shrugged.

  I wasn’t sure, either, so I just started trudging. The swamp was frozen solid and covered with snow, the selkies nowhere in evidence. By the time we got across the river and into downtown, the sun was already starting to lower in the cloudy sky.

  That made the fairy-tale castle on Harriet Island all the more visible. As I passed the science museum, the intense light show playing out in the clear block walls of the ice palace drew my eye. The Winter Carnival design team had gone all out this year, using lasers and a computerized control system to create armies of frost giants and other creatures of myth and legend on and within the record-setting palace. Blue warriors rode polar bear–like steeds around the outer walls, while snowflake-winged fairies flitted to and fro in the upper reaches of the central tower.

  For a few brief moments the beauty of the place lifted me out of myself, but that ended when I noticed a museum security guard giving me the eyeball through a window. He wasn’t the first. I’d collected plenty of hostile looks from passersby on my way here. Not that I could entirely blame them—between the dirt and my ragged clothes and the blood in my hair I must have looked like hell’s own street urchin. As the guard reached for his radio, I decided it was time to get moving.

  Somehow, we managed to make it all the way to the Free School building without getting arrested or otherwise picked up by the powers that be. Sparx and I had talked it out and decided the school was our best bet for the moment. Classes were over, but I waited in the hedge at the base of the parking ramp across the street until I saw the janitor leave before going around back to the playground. The doors were shut tight, but Sparx just slipped through the wall and jumped up to push open the locking bar.

  I’d been in the building in the evening before for rehearsals, but there had always been other people around, and at least some lights on. The halls felt infinitely larger and lonelier now, all dark and empty. Every noise I made seemed to echo weirdly as I limped along the tile floor. But I didn’t dare turn on any lights as I headed for the theater—not this late on Friday. When I got there, Sparx opened the doors once again. Back in the costume racks I found some pants and a shirt that wouldn’t look too out of place in the real world. Then it was off to the gym for a shower.

  My first impulse when I got there was to simply strip off my torn and filthy clothes and throw them in the trash. I got as far as peeling off my shirt and rolling it into a ball when a thought hit me and I froze mid-gesture.

  Sparx gave me a funny look. “Are you okay?”

  “I don’t think so.” I shook my head. “You remember earlier when you asked me if I was going to have hysterics, and I said no? Well, I’m thinking about changing my mind now.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  “It was the shirt. I was going to throw it away, but then I realized I didn’t know when or even if I could go home to pick up a replacement. I mean, as long as Oscar’s there, with all the power of the Winter King and controlling my mom, I’m pretty much homeless, right?”

  “I don’t know that I’d go that far. I mean, when we were talking this over on the way here, we figured the next thing in the plan after you get cleaned up was to give your mom a call from one of the school phones, right?”

  “Do you really think that’s going to help? Really?” I felt tears starting to burn in the corners of my eyes.

  Sparx sighed and shook his head. “No. I don’t, but I didn’t want to bring it up because of that whole hysterics thing. Which I still recommend against. I mean, you’ve got a ton of stuff to freak out about, but freaking out won’t actually help at all. At least not yet. Look, I’ll make you a deal. You’re cold and filthy and starving, and that makes for really bad decisions. Once you’re clean and dry and we’ve sorted out food and getting you set up with someplace to sleep, you can have a complete flip-out.”

  “What’s your side of the deal?”

  “I’ll watch?”

  I snorted through the tears that had started to leak down my cheeks. “Jerk.” It really wasn’t all that funny, but it was enough to help me to get it together again, at least for a little bit.

  I went and turned the shower on, taking my shirt with me as I stepped into the warm water. It was easier to scrub the worst of the filth off my jeans and sneakers with them on me than otherwise, so I did that before stripping down and cleaning myself up. It wasn’t until I tried to wash my hair that I remembered about the big gash in the back of my scalp. Cleaning that out used up as many swear words as I would normally go through in a year, but I knew I had to be thorough.

  When I’d finished showering, Sparx made me bend down to his level, where he did something hot, magical, and extremely painful to the wound. Since it was on the back of my head I couldn’t see it or what he’d done, but it involved a sizzling noise, the smell of burning hair, and promises that I’d thank him for it in the years to come. Then we raided the teachers’ lounge for some granola bars and a half box of stale doughnuts—nothing ever tasted better—before calling my mom’s cell.

  “Helloooooo, this is … Genevieve.”

  Ugh, not a good start—she sounded like she was on another planet entirely. “Hi, Mom, it’s Kalvan.”

  “Oh, that’s nice.… Kalvan who?”

  I wanted to scream and cry, but I’d spent a lifetime learning to be gentle with my mother, so I took a deep breath and tried to stay calm as I spoke. “Kalvan, your son.”

  There was a long pause, then, “Riiiiight. Sorry, Kalvan. I was having one of my headaches, so Oscar gave me my meds and I’m a little loopy now.” Another pause. “How’s DC?”

  “I’m not in DC, Mom. I’m at school.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous, darling. It’s nearly eight o’clock on a Friday. School’s been closed for hours.”

  Another deep breath. “Yes, it has. That’s why I was hoping you could drive over and meet me here, Mom.”

  “I’m sorry, Kalvan, but you know I can’t drive after I’ve taken my meds. Especially not all the way to DC. Do you want me to get Oscar to meet you?”

  “NO!” I shouted, and my mother drew in a sharp breath. I kicked myself mentally. “I’m sorry, Mom. I didn’t mean to be that sharp, but I really don’t want to see Oscar. We … uh, had another one of our big fights. Better not even mention me to him.”

  “All right. Ohhhhh my, the room seems to be spinning a bit; I’d better go lie down again. Have a good time in DC.”

  It took everything I had not to yell again. “Mom, I told you I’m not in DC.”

  “Not in DC?… DC, what does that remind me of? Oh yes. Daisy … Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer true. I’m half crazy over the love of you. It won’t be a stylish marriage, I can’t afford a carriage, but you’ll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two.”

  I hung up.

  Sparx put both paws on my thigh. “I’m sorry, Kalvan. Are you all right?”

  “Not even a little bit.” I felt sick to my stomach and clenched my jaw to keep from losing those doughnuts. “But I think I can hold off the freak-out awhile longer. The teachers’ lounge isn’t the place for it.” I was really glad I had the weekend to be a basket case before I had to face anyone.

  Once I’d settled into the easy chair under the main stage with a couple of old velvet curtains as a blanket, on the other ha
nd, I started to sob. That’s when Sparx, who had just finished setting a magic circle around the chair, climbed up onto my chest and tucked his head in underneath my chin. He normally didn’t go in for a lot of touchy-feely, but he was a big, warm, comforting presence now.

  I wrapped both arms around him and squeezed, speaking through my tears. “Thanks, Sparx.”

  “Everything is going to be all right, Kalvan. I promise.” Then he began to purr.

  “I didn’t think rabbits purred.”

  “Hare. And we don’t. I just speak fluent cat, and past experience suggested it might help.”

  “It does. Thank you.”

  “Any time, Accursed Master, any time.”

  Some time later, the tears stopped, though the purring kept on, eventually lulling me into sleep.

  18

  Down Deep

  “URG,” I MUMBLED. My face felt like someone had painted my eyes shut and then poured the rest of the can into my nose. Whoever it was had apparently followed that up by burying me to my neck in sand. “… the heck?”

  I blearily forced my left eye open. Nothing. Absolute darkness. Terror brought me fully awake as I was briefly returned to the cell in the delver tunnels, and I jerked upright. Red light flared as Sparx fell from my chest along with the heavy velvet curtains I had perceived as the weight of sand.

  The brightly burning hare landed on the floor with an audible thump. “I take it you’re awake?” Then his eyes met mine and his voice softened. “It’s all right, Kalvan, we’re under the stage at your school and free of all chains. For the moment at least.”

  I rubbed my other eye open and then wiped my nose with the back of my wrist. “I feel awful.”

  “Crying yourself to sleep will do that.”

  And that brought it all back. I was homeless. My stepfather was a monster. And my mother was firmly in his power. In an instant, tears were burning at the corners of my eyes again and my throat felt like I’d swallowed a handful of broken glass.

  Sparx leaped up onto the arm of my chair and put his front paws on my chest. “Kalvan…”

  I bit back the tears, took a couple of deep breaths, and then shook my head. “’S okay. I’ll be fine in a minute.”

  “I don’t think that’s true.”

  I snorted and then had to wipe my nose again. “It’s not. But maybe if we both pretend it is, I’ll be able to hold it together long enough to get cleaned up and sort out breakfast.” I really needed another shower, and I was famished. “Things will look better after that, right?”

  Sparx spread his ears in a bunny shrug. “They almost certainly won’t be worse, and that’s a start.”

  After my shower, searching through my locker and wallet turned up eight dollars and fifty cents. That in turn bought me ten chocolate spinners, ten strawberry bombs, eight pocket pies, and two loaves of bread out of the seconds and week-old bin at the Doughboy bakery outlet store. I’d have skipped the bread, but Sparx insisted, and the way the clerk looked at me when I shouted at the backpack I’d borrowed from the school’s lost and found after he called me “Accursed Master” suggested that arguing with my bag wouldn’t go over well.

  I ate three pies on the two-block walk back to Free and a pair of strawberry bombs as soon as we got inside. Then Sparx made me eat a sandwich with some Cruncher’s peanut butter that was in the teachers’ lounge fridge.

  “Better?” asked Sparx when I’d finished my sandwich.

  “A little, yeah. But any time I think about what’s going on with Oscar and my mom…” I shuddered.

  Sparx nodded sympathetically. “Unfortunately, that’s exactly the thing we need to be thinking about.”

  “I know. It’s him or me now, isn’t it?”

  “Unless you’re willing to abandon your mother and run far away from here, I’m afraid that it is.”

  I winced at that. “We’re going to need some help. I’d better call Dave.”

  Veronica Harris picked up the phone on the second ring. “Hello.”

  “Hi, Veronica.” She insisted I call her by her first name, like I did my teachers. “This is Kalvan; can I speak with Dave?”

  “Sure, honey, I’m pretty sure he’s awake. I’ll bring him the phone. Hang on a sec.”

  “Kalvan?” Dave sounded like someone had kicked him in the throat. “What’s up?”

  “I’m kind of in a mess…” I had to stop and take a deep breath then, because my voice wanted to break. “I broke into Oscar’s studio again yesterday morning.”

  “Without me? Uncool, dude. Uncool.”

  “If it’s any consolation, Oscar caught me and I got my butt kicked nine ways from Sunday in the process.” I didn’t like to think about what might have happened to Dave if he’d been with us—Oscar didn’t have any reason to keep my friend alive. “And I’m kind of in a mess now.”

  “That’s what you get for cutting me out. Tell me about it.”

  So I did. When I finished Dave let out a low whistle that ended in a harsh cough.

  When he could speak again he said, “Uuugly.”

  “I know, right?”

  “Hang on a minute, I’m going to ask my mom if you can come stay with us for a few days.”

  “Wait!” It cost me to stop him, but I did it anyway.

  “What? Why?”

  “Dave, come on. What are you going to tell her about why I’m staying?”

  “I’ll tell her you’re having some problems at home. She’s met your mom, and she used to be married to my dad; she’ll understand.”

  That sounded so nice, and I wanted it, but … “No. Look, Oscar knows you’re my best friend, and he knows where you live. That’s the first place he’ll look.”

  “And he won’t find you at school?”

  “No. I don’t think he will, and neither does Sparx.” That was part of why we’d come here in the first place. “He says that all the comings and goings at the school over the years, many of them mine, makes it easier to hide me here in the magical sense.”

  “All right, I can buy that, but what are you going to do when classes start up again on Monday? Won’t Oscar just be able to call the school and come get you?”

  “I don’t know. I guess I’ll have to figure it out.”

  “Do you still have your science museum membership?”

  “You know, that just might work…” I felt a little trickle of relief as Dave solved a problem I hadn’t even thought about in almost the same instant he pointed it out to me.

  “And this is why you need me. You’ve got brains coming out your ears, but no street smarts.”

  I laughed. It wasn’t much, but it felt good. “Hard to argue with that.”

  “Don’t even try, my friend. Don’t even try.”

  “Deal. Now, you get better quick so you can do more than just offer me good advice.”

  “Will do. I’ll bring some clothes that’ll fit you, too, and leave ’em under the stage, because I bet you hadn’t thought that part through, either. Talk to you soon.”

  * * *

  Fire ran through my heart, the flames running bright and hot in my veins. I could feel the light in my chest as it pushed back against the shadows pouring in through my throat and nose, fighting the dark that slowly filled my lungs. I was drowning in darkness. No. In Darkness!

  “That’s it!” I shouted myself awake.

  Sparx, who had been curled up on my chest, literally bounced off the underside of the stage above me. “I’m awake! I’m awake! The square root of negative one! ‘Friends, Romans, countrymen!’ Unicorn poop makes an excellent ointment for the treating of magical frostbite!”

  “What?”

  “Sorry.” The hare shook his head. “This whole living-in-a-school thing is taking me back to my days at Blackstock College.” It was Tuesday night, and we’d spent two days hiding out at the museum during the day and spending our nights at the school.

  “Wait, there’s a college for fire hares?”

  “Of course not. That would be ridiculous. F
ar too specialized. Blackstock admits any of the major elemental spirits. Well, they did when I was there, anyway. It’s been a few centuries since I visited. I think the alumni association still has my address in London.”

  I was having serious trouble with the idea. “You went to college?”

  “Yes, at Oxford. Studied with Professor Medeous. Horrible creature, but a brilliant claw with an enchantment.”

  “Claw?”

  “She was a raven at the time—element of shadow—though I don’t know if she stayed with it.”

  I pushed the idea of an Oxford college for elemental animals aside. “We have more important fish to fry. So, never mind.”

  “Shouldn’t that be ‘nevermore’?” He waited a moment while I gave him the hairy eyeball. “It’s another joke, kid; laugh.”

  “Ha. Ha. Ha. Now, can we be serious?”

  “Probably not, but I can fake it if you need me to, O Accursed Master.”

  “What is with you today?”

  “Sorry, you woke me from a pretty deep sleep. I’m not at my best first thing out of dreams. I tend to wake up odd. Wait a second.” Sparx canted his head to one side quizzically. “If I’m not misremembering, you were yelling something about ‘That’s it.’ Which is?”

  “Which what is?”

  “The that you shouted about, of course.”

  “Oh, that that. I figured out where my great-grandfather’s Vulcan uniform must be. Oscar said it was someplace we could never get at, and I figured out what he meant.”

  Sparx suddenly looked a lot more awake. “That’s fantastic! We can’t beat Oscar without it. Where is it?”

  “It’s not under the model of the capitol in our basement. It’s in the basement under the capitol. The real one. That’s why he said we were so very close and yet impossibly far. We actually looked in exactly the right place, just in the wrong version of it. That’s why he said we could never get past the guardian.”