“Oh, right. I got it.” Quickly, I climbed out and went around to Alexis’s door.
“Thank you, Cooper.” Alexis took my arm as I led her up the steps as if she were some fragile woman. “Come in for a drink?” she asked as she slid her key into the lock.
“I’d better not.” I smiled to let her know it was nothing personal.
She smiled back, fleetingly. “Good night then.”
“Good night.” I waited until the door closed then returned to the limo.
Chapter Twelve
That was it. Really. My life for months, though it seemed much longer. Alexis would attend meetings, some in boardrooms, some in dark alleyways, parking garages, warehouses, even one on a wet dock. I would accompany her. Sal was usually there. So were the thick-necked dudes. Some meetings I wasn’t invited to. Same with Sal. We were all varying degrees of interchangeable.
Alexis and I dined together sometimes, but she never asked me to come in again. I was sort of relieved at that.
Sometimes, I’d get a phone call, always inexplicably at three in the morning, from Esau. He’d spirit me away to some random city to invent new kinds of pain for some poor dude who’d sneezed incorrectly in front of the wrong person. His victims were always depraved in some way. Or depraved according to Esau. Theft wasn’t enough. Hell, murder wasn’t enough. I realized, months later, that his reason for killing Caruso had been the perceived disrespect to the DiGiovannis. Esau was like that, he followed his own little code. He didn’t kill for the pleasure of it. That’s what the torture was for. But the kill he didn’t enjoy.
Specific details of his process were unchanging. The Thai food and beer was one. He liked to enjoy a leisurely meal while his victim sweated. In between bouts of pain, he’d have another beer. I watched too many men break from the suggestion of pain. Esau loved that. Romance.
Other details differed. His method of torture was never the same. Thematically similar, maybe. But it was always tailored to the victim, their crime, the information Esau wanted. It wasn’t always physical. I spent one very long night in a room plastered with photos of a sixteen-year-old girl. Esau caressed the photographs as he spoke. He detailed in every touch what might happen to her if her father didn’t submit. The girl was orphaned by morning.
The killing never changed. Always with a single bullet. Back of the head. I learned to keep my distance, but my Chucks still went from gray to rusty brown. Just like Reese’s eyes.
I got a sad little apartment. It was my first away from home and nothing like it should have been. No Ryan. No Reese. No Austin or Carson or Derek to leave beer bottles on the table. My dad wasn’t there to move in my non-existent furniture. Adriana wasn’t there to complain that it was too small. My mom didn’t come over to do my laundry. Some milestone.
I recreated my lesfic library. It had been lost somewhere between EDH and San Felipe. Reading was the only thing that kept my mind from wandering. If that happened, I might think about what Alexis’s meetings were about. I might start to make sense of the coded language used. I might begin to wonder what I was contributing to.
I might think about Reese. That couldn’t happen.
Of course, that was only when I went back to my joke of a home. Most the time, I walked the streets late at night. Probably not smart, but better than sitting in an empty apartment gazing at the bare walls. Sleeping was a luxury I knew I couldn’t afford. I still had the dream, but now it was populated with an audience of all the men I’d watched Esau kill. Every night, it was like dying just a little bit. Not enough to kill me, and it damn sure wasn’t making me stronger. Just enough to know I was dying.
I wished I had a photo. Any photo. One of Reese. But I would have been happy with one of Ryan. Or anyone. Even Derek. Even Adriana. Then I might have known it was real, that life I’d been living. Without those gentle reminders, it was all just a nightmarish haze so it felt like this had been my entire life.
I’d given up on finding the twins. They were in Thailand by now. Or Peru. It didn’t matter. They weren’t here. They’d moved on. And that was what hurt worst of all. Vito’s plan was going to fail. He didn’t know it yet, but I did. They weren’t going to take the bait.
Late one night, I got a call. I was expecting Esau because of the hour. It was Alexis.
“Bobby will be there in ten minutes to pick you up.”
“You realize it’s two in the morning?”
“I know. I’m sorry. I’ll see you soon.”
I said good-bye, but she’d already hung up. Urgent. That should have been a bad sign, but I didn’t notice. For me, it was just on the bad end of a bad scale.
I took a fast shower, tried to clear my sleep-deprived mind a little, pulled out a suit the color of Alexis’s eyes when she was mad. Bobby pounded on my door as I was tucking in my shirt.
“Bobby?”
“Yeah.”
I unlocked the door. “Come in. I’m almost ready.”
He opened the door, but hesitated on the threshold. “We gotta go, man.”
“I know.” Hurriedly, I closed my belt. “Grab my jacket out of the closet.” I pulled on my Chucks.
“Which one?”
“The one that matches the pants.” He looked confused, though to be fair, he always looked that way. “The dark blue.” I did a superficial check of my Beretta before settling it into my holster.
He tossed the jacket to me. I shrugged it on and grabbed my overcoat as he pulled the door shut behind me.
“So what’s going on?” I asked once we were in the car.
“Coke deal.” There went my moral code. “They didn’t bring all the money, but still wanted the kilos. Dom called Alex and she got pissed.”
“So she’s going to make an example of them?” Fuck that shit.
Bobby shrugged. A gargantuan task considering the width of his shoulders.
We got to the warehouse a whopping sixty seconds before Sal and Alexis did. Dominic was yelling at a dude about twice his size. At first, I was surprised no one had their guns out, but then I realized they’d been relieved of their weapons at the door.
“Hey,” Bobby yelled out. “Everyone calm the fuck down.”
Bobby was real good with crowd control.
“Who the fuck are you?” the guy facing off with Dominic asked.
“He’s one of mine, Caleb,” Alexis explained as she strode toward him. She didn’t raise her voice, didn’t hurry, just walked purposefully toward him. “Now please tell me Dom was mistaken when he told me you asked for free product.” Casually, she unbuttoned her wool suit jacket revealing she wore no gun, as if this guy didn’t warrant the effort.
Where the hell were her coat and gloves? This warehouse was freezing. It wasn’t Sal’s job to make sure she was clothed, but I still felt like he’d failed in some fundamental way by letting her out when she wasn’t properly dressed.
“Well?” Alexis questioned Caleb again when he didn’t answer immediately.
As she walked past, I hurried to fall into place beside her. Sal did the same.
“Don’t give me shit, DiGiovanni. We always deliver.” Caleb didn’t seem to know if he was angry or begging, so he settled on irritated.
“Apparently not.” Alexis flicked a hand in the direction of the cash her men were counting on a nearby table.
“We’re good for it and you know it.”
“This isn’t a pawn shop. We don’t do loans.” Her eyes went from electric to dark in a second.
Between the two of them, I wasn’t sure who was more insulted.
“Why are you always such a cold bitch?” His eyes scanned her as he said it. Like her power over his livelihood meant nothing when compared to that body. The lovely Miss DiGiovanni did seem to have that effect.
“That’s it.” Alexis snapped her fingers at her men. “Dom, give them their change back. Pack it up, boys. We won’t be selling to Caleb anymore.”
Caleb’s face went white then turned all red and blotchy.
“Remembe
r this in the future. Tell your friends. If you disrespect me then we simply won’t do business with you.” She spoke all slow in that husky tone.
“You tell ’em,” Bobby grumbled encouragingly.
“Fuck that shit,” Caleb said. It only took him a second to draw the knife. The dim overhead lights caught on the blade as he lunged at Alexis.
I didn’t really think, just moved. I picked her up like I’d done three months back, the first time I met her, pivoted and covered her body with my own. Her eyes locked onto mine, bluer than fucking any shade I’d ever seen. Sal tackled both of us, but not before I heard the tear of the knife.
From the pile the three of us made on the floor, I could see Bobby take Caleb down with a single shot. Above us, men materialized on the walkways ringing the second floor. The bright flashes from their weapons were strangely silent. Within moments, all of Caleb’s men were down, some silently twitching, others writhing and screaming until they caught a second bullet.
“Alex, Alex.” Sal started running his hands over Alexis as she lay stretched out on top of me. “Are you okay? Did he get you?”
“I’m fine. Get the hell off me.”
“Yeah, got it.” He pushed himself up and then helped Alexis to her feet. “How about you, Cooper?”
“I’m okay, just give me a hand.”
Sal pulled me to my feet. “Are you sure you’re okay?” I pulled Alexis closer to me and did the same as Sal had, ran my hands across her torso.
“I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not.” I stared at the blood on my hand. It was dripping down my knuckles.
“Shit, fuck.” Sal reached for my coat and tried to strip it off my shoulders.
“What are you doing? Alexis is hit.” I tried to push him away.
“Where did he get you, honey?” Alexis had Sal guide me back to the ground.
“He didn’t,” I insisted. “He just got my coat.” For some reason, that really irritated me. I liked this jacket. It was warm and long and the collar stood up just right to keep the wind out.
“No. He got you.”
“I’m fine, really. See?” I ran my hand along my sleeve to find the hole, but when I pulled away, my other hand was covered in blood too. “But he didn’t get me.” Sure, my arm was on fire, but it didn’t make sense. I would have felt getting stabbed. I would have felt it.
“Lay back.” Alexis pushed me down. “Sal, get the car.”
“Really. I’m fine. I got shot a few months ago and it didn’t even faze me.”
“Yes, you’re big and strong and I’m very impressed. Now shut up.” She wrapped her bare hand around my bicep and squeezed. Fuck, that hurt. My vision stared to cloud. “Can someone get a fucking towel?” she shouted.
I never found out if she got that towel, because that’s when I passed out.
*
The ceiling I was staring at wasn’t mine. It was the color of warm cream. I tried to place it, but I couldn’t.
Slowly, I sat up. The sheet covering me fell away and I realized I was only wearing my underwear and tank top. It wasn’t until I saw the white bandage wrapped around my arm that I remembered getting stabbed. Shit. Where was Alexis?
A pair of sweats and a T-shirt were folded on a chair next to me. Careful not to put weight on my arm, I climbed out of the massive bed I was in. Putting on the sweats one-handed was a challenge, but it was better than moving my arm that ached with a faint, warm throbbing. Once clothed, I padded barefoot into the hallway.
Alexis’s voice was a dull murmur. I followed it, trying not to eavesdrop, but it was inevitable.
“Well, in the grand scheme, you’re more at fault than I am here.” An aborted laugh carried down the hall. “You got her shot, I only got her stabbed.” Who was she talking to? “No, I’m keeping her here until she’s healed. I don’t trust anyone else to keep her safe.” I pushed the door open and found myself in Alexis’s office.
“Hey,” I whispered.
Her blue eyes got somehow brighter. “I’ll call you back later. She’s awake.” Without waiting for a response, she hung up the phone.
“Sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt.”
“No, no. I’m glad.”
Her smile filled the sudden quiet.
“Right. Um, what day is it?”
“Still Tuesday. You were only asleep for a few hours. Sit down.” Alexis came around her gigantic desk to usher me onto a small sofa. “How are you feeling?”
I frowned while I thought about that. “Fine. Good, actually. I must have slept a lot. But my arm’s kinda throbbing.”
“That’s pretty normal. You’ve got a bunch of stitches. Do you want some more painkillers?”
“No, at least, not right now.”
Alexis reached across as if to brush my hair out of my eyes, but thought better of it about halfway there. Her hand dropped without an excuse.
“You’re hair’s gotten long,” she pointed out unnecessarily. “Is that Cooper’s version of Alexis?”
“Huh?”
“Maintaining a semblance of femininity.”
“No.” The strangest sound bubbled up from my throat, a laugh. “I’m just too lazy to get a haircut.”
This time when she reached for the pale blond strands she didn’t stop until they were off my face. “I kind of like it. Frames your eyes well.”
I didn’t really know what to say to that so I went for a subject change.
“So am I allowed to eat? I’m starving.”
“Yes, of course. Go back to bed.” Alexis stood. “I’ll bring you something.”
“I don’t want to go back to bed. I just got up.” I sounded petulant.
She laughed at me. “All right, come to the kitchen.”
Downstairs, Alexis made me sit at the wide bar ringing the kitchen. I leaned my forearms against the cool tile and wondered if there was some way to wrap that coolness around my bicep. That would feel good.
“Grilled cheese and chicken soup? The soup is from scratch.”
“Dude.” That sounded unbelievably perfect.
“Is that a yes?” Again, she laughed at me.
I nodded enthusiastically.
“My dad used to make the best chicken soup.” As soon as the words were out, I wanted them back. They needed to be tucked away deep in the cavity where my heart had been.
Alexis looked up from the stove, one eyebrow cocked. Tentatively, she asked, “Really? He a good cook?”
I didn’t want to answer her so I just half shrugged. She nodded and silently acknowledged my family was a no go.
“Here.” Alexis set a bowl of soup in front of me. It was followed by a perfectly golden grilled cheese. Really, the height of culinary endeavors, the grilled cheese sandwich.
“Thanks.” I dove in like I was Ryan, like it had been weeks. Though actually, I couldn’t remember the last meal I’d eaten. “This rocks.” It came out all muffled by cheese and bread. Classy.
The corner of her mouth twitched up in a half grin. “Make sure you tell Vito that.”
“Huh? Tell him what?”
“That I took good care of you. You know, food that rocked and everything.”
“Why?”
“He’s mad that I got you stabbed.”
I stopped with my mouth open and sandwich halfway home. “So not your fault.”
“I wouldn’t go that far.” Alexis shook her head. “My guys were supposed to check for weapons. They didn’t.”
“Seriously? You’re going to try to take the blame?” She didn’t answer. “Get over it. Not your fault.” I returned to my meal.
“Try telling that to Vito.”
“Like you said on the phone, he got me shot, you only got me stabbed.”
“Eavesdropping?”
“Don’t pretend you care,” I said.
“Good point.”
“I know. I’m totally smart.”
Alexis shot me a glare. “You do know how arrogant you are, right?” I just nodded. “Anyway, I get why
he’s pissed. You’re like the son he never had.”
“Liar. I’ve known him less than a year.” My ass. Vito tolerated me as a means to an end.
She shrugged elegantly. “He really likes you.”
“Right. Shouldn’t he have like twelve kids? I thought that was a requirement for you guys or something. Like an heir to his throne of terror.”
“The throne belongs to my uncle, not Vito.”
“Yeah, that. Why—never mind.” I was going to ask why Reese, or failing that, Alexis, was going to take over the family business, but then I realized I didn’t want to know the answer.
“What?” I just shook my head. “Why does he want Reese to take over? Is that what you were going to ask?”
“Yeah, but I don’t think I want to know.”
“There’s no one else.” Why was she telling me? I told her I didn’t care. “My uncle had one child, Carissa. She had two kids. It narrowed down his options.”
“But why not Ryan? Shouldn’t he want a guy?”
“The don hates him.”
I should have asked her why.
“You’re family is fucked. You know that, right?”
“Be nice.” I rolled my eyes at her. “Besides, I’m not complaining. If the twins are gone, then I’m his only option.”
“’Cause no one else wants it.” I tried to make it sound like I wasn’t mocking. Really.
It was Alexis’s turn to roll her eyes. “Thanks. This is my entire life, but no worries.”
“Sorry, my bad. I meant your legacy is awesome and you’re so lucky that killing people, selling drugs, and stealing shit runs in the family.”
Alexis’s eyes went all dark and glacial. “I’m going to let that go because you were just stabbed and I saw the dose of painkillers you were given.”
I was being an ass. I knew it. She knew it. If she wanted to blame it on painkillers, that was fine with me.
“I’m going back to bed.”
“Do you want me to walk you up there?”
“No.”
*
The floodwaters had risen until I was thigh deep. When I waded through it, dark, viscous spatters sprayed my face. It tasted metallic. The smell was deep and dark and primal and it was making me want to hurl. Reese and Tommy struggled in front of me, just out of touching distance. For every step I took, they seemed to float farther away. The waters were still rising. Thick, sticky fluid soaked into my clothes. My hands were covered, but I held them above the tide in an attempt to keep them clean. A flash of silver passed over my face, blinding me for a moment. Tommy’s knife. I lunged forward. The waters were to my chest now. Suddenly, I held a gun. Maybe I had it all along. It wasn’t bloody. Not yet. Reese looked at me. Her eyes were dead. Not gray or brown, but black. Or red. I wasn’t sure. I aimed at Tommy, nearly blinded by the river of blood as it slid down my throat, filled my nose, swallowed my head.
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