by Wendy Louise
I make my way down the hallway to our room and she is still asleep.
The sheet has been kicked back and her long tanned legs are spread-eagle across the bed. Her dark hair is matted across my pillow, and her silk nightgown has ridden up to expose her thighs.
She looks more gorgeous to me right now than any time I have seen her glammed up, she is perfection. I stand for a moment in the doorway and drink in the sight of her. I commit it to memory so I can pull it out when I need to while I’m on the road.
I am one lucky guy to get to see her like this every day.
That privilege is not lost on me.
I carry the tray to her bedside table and place it down gently, not wanting to wake her just yet. I bend down beside the bed and rain kisses over her cheeks, lips, and eyelids until I see a slow, lazy smile spread across her face.
“Good Morning,” she says through a yawn, as she rolls onto her back stretching her legs and arms out in all directions. Her gorgeous brown eyes flutter open and she smiles.
A heart-stopping, beautiful smile.
Just for me.
I lean over her and place a kiss to her lips.
“Good morning beautiful. I brought you breakfast.”
She sits up and arranges the pillows at her back. She pulls the sheet back up over her legs and flattens it out around her, all ready for me to hand her the tray.
“Thanks baby,” she says as she grabs the coffee mug off the bedside table and blows on it before taking a sip. “Are you going to join me?”
“Of course, I’ll go grab mine.”
I return to the room with my tray and hop back into bed beside Liv. “You know, this is my favourite place in the world, right here, in bed, next to you.”
She smiles at me trying to conceal her mouthful of eggs and leans in for a quick kiss. “I feel exactly the same way Gray. So what’s on the agenda for today?”
“Aaah, that’s for me to know and you to find out Ms Lucas,” I tease. “All you need to know is that I intend to fulfil all your fantasies over the coming two days. I need to bank you up so that you won’t miss me too much while I’m gone.”
“Impossible,” she says, “I’m going to miss you more than you know.” Her big eyes stare into mine and all the levity is immediately sucked from the room.
“Okay, no more talk of me going away for the whole weekend. Deal?” I say, wanting to bring back the lighter mood.
She nods and puts out her hand but I don’t take it.
“Let’s seal this with a kiss Liv,” I say as I place my hands on either side of her face and lean across both of our trays to reach her lips.
Olivia smiles and picks up a small piece of her muffin and places it into her mouth.
“If we were dating back in Australia, and we weren’t famous, what would be the typical date?”
Liv laughs. “Gray, we date the same way in Australia as you do here in the States. There is no difference. Dinner, movies, I don’t know, just the usual.”
“Okay, let me re-phrase my question. If we were back in Australia and we could go on any date, what would you want it to be?”
She bites her bottom lip as she contemplates my question. “Honestly Gray, I would love to do something really simple, like have fish and chips on the beach while the sun goes down, wrapped in a picnic blanket and sipping wine.”
“That sounds like heaven,” I say.
Liv finishes the last of her breakfast and places the tray onto the floor next to the bed. I demolished mine way before her so my tray has been discarded for a few minutes already.
“Right, now to the next activity I have planned for the day,” I say, as I lower my body on the pillows and stretch out in the bed. Liv copies me until she is lying face-to-face with me and curls her arms up and around my shoulders.
“What did you have in mind?” she says.
“This,” I say as I kiss under her ear lobe.
“And this,” I continue as I run my tongue along her neck.
“Maybe some of this,” I say, as I run my hands down and rest them on the curve of her ass.
“I think I like this game,” she whispers as she runs her tongue between my lips and snakes it inside to join mine. “I think I like it a lot.”
With that, her hands fly into my hair and she is tugging on it just the way she likes to and both of us are lost to each other for the rest of the morning.
I’ve discovered that we Americans don’t really do ‘fish and chips’ the way Liv described them. I have been on my smart phone googling to see where I can get some for dinner and I’ve had no luck at all. I’ve had to settle for shrimp and fries, not quite the same, but hey, it’s the closest I could come up with.
I’ve packed the picnic rug, hamper, and wine into my car and have ordered the meal for us to collect on our way to the beach. I know just the spot. A secluded area that will be perfect to watch the sunset, and perfect for other activities that I hope to partake in later.
“Grab a sweater babe; it’s a little chilly out there,” I say to Liv as I pass her in the bedroom. I pull down a navy blue hoodie from the top of the closet and throw it over my arm.
“Where are we going?” Liv asks.
I kiss her on the lips and grab her hand. “No questions. C’mon.”
The Mustang purrs to life as we both buckle in. It suddenly occurs to me that I’m not only leaving Liv for a couple of months but also my baby. I’m going to miss this car and I’ll have to get Liv to start her up a couple of times while I’m gone to make sure she continues to run.
We pull out onto the freeway and I give the ‘stang the ride of her life, one last hurrah that will need to satisfy both of us until I get back.
Liv fiddles with the stations on the radio until she finds something she likes. It’s that Happy song by Pharrell, you know the one that gets stuck in your head for the rest of the day and you can’t stop fuckin’ hummin’ it?
Yeah, that one.
I wind down the window to let the air run through the car and settle into the seat, tapping the fingers of one hand on the steering wheel as I grab Liv’s hand with the other. A rare sense of calm and peace settles over me.
This is heaven.
This is where I am supposed to be.
Letting go of her hand, I turn on the indicator to signal my turn into the parking lot. “I just need to grab something. Stay here. I’ll be back in a sec,” I say as I turn off the ignition.
Liv smiles. “Okay.”
I run into the store and pick up the food order. I think I’ve ordered way too much, but I want Liv to enjoy it. I walk back to the car and place the food on the back seat before getting back behind the wheel.
“That smells amazing,” Olivia says taking a deep breath through her nose.
We travel another few minutes down the road until I arrive at the spot that I had in mind.
“Stay there,” I say to Liv as I exit the car and run around the front to her door. I open her door and she takes my hand.
“Thanks baby.”
I make my way to the trunk of the car and pull out my supplies.
“We’re having a picnic?” Liv says excitedly.
“Yes we are. You told me what you wanted and I told you I would deliver your every fantasy this weekend. So here we are.”
I lock the car, take her hand and we both make our way down the boardwalk to the sand.
“Here’s a good spot.”
I shake out the picnic rug and place it on the beach. I uncork the wine and rip open the food so that Liv can help herself. I pour two glasses of the sweet liquid and hand one to Liv.
“A toast,” I say, “To us. No matter how far apart we are, just know that you will always be my number one priority.”
Olivia smiles and leans in to kiss me before pulling back to sip her wine. We feast on shrimp and fries and warm jelly-filled donuts that I also picked up from the store.
“I’m going to have to do an extra hour on the treadmill tomorrow to make up for that meal,
but it was so delicious. Thanks hon.”
Liv moves across the blanket and settles herself between my legs, leaning her back to my chest and placing her head back on my shoulder. I grab the spare blanket that I brought down and wrap it over us both, leaving my arms wrapped tightly around her.
We watch the sunset over the water, and sit silently just enjoying each other’s company. The sun casts a sliver of light over the ocean that touches the sand at the edge of the beach, but doesn’t come anywhere close to where we are. We are in our own little bubble, hidden from view, and shrouded in privacy thanks to the darkness.
I cock my head and look into her eyes. “Liv, I’ll remember tonight when I feel the distance between us. I’ll remember watching this sunset with the girl I love, but most of all I’ll remember the peace. I know that life is about to intrude on this but the peace you bring me will see me through Liv, it’ll be what holds us together no matter how far apart we are.”
She kisses me gently.
“Where do you see us going Gray?” she asks. “I know it’s probably way too early to have this conversation, but I want you to know that this is really important to me, you are really important to me.”
I shift so that Liv is forced to turn around in my arms. I take the glass from her hand and place it down onto the rug. I cradle her face in my hands and look straight into her deep brown eyes, I don’t want her to have a chance to miss what I’m about to say.
“Liv, this is everything to me, you are the missing piece of my heart. It’s not too early to have this conversation because I already see my future with you. Marriage, babies, all of that. We’re both so busy right now with our careers, but that doesn’t mean that you’re not my main focus. I will never put you second best; you will always be the reason for what I do, the reason for me to get out of bed each morning and the reason why my life is as wonderful as it is. It’s all you babe, you’re all I see, all I want and all I ever need.”
I kiss her deeply to punctuate everything that I’ve just said. As we both slowly lower ourselves to the ground I hover over her and pull back to search her eyes.
A lone tear runs down her cheek and I kiss it away. “Happy tear?” I ask.
She nods and pulls me back down to her mouth to continue where we left off.
Liv’s hands run down my chest until she reaches the button fly of my Levis. She starts to undo them. I lift my head and look around to make sure we don’t have an audience. The blanket is still over us, but still, it wouldn’t do for us to get caught, can you imagine the field day the fucking tabloids would have with that!
Liv’s tiny fingers grasp at my length and she runs her hand up and down my shaft slowly but with purpose. The breath hitches in my throat and I cinch my eyes closed to try and maintain my composure.
“I don’t have any condoms with me baby,” I say against Olivia’s neck.
“I don’t care,” she responds. “I’m on birth control and I trust that you’ve always been careful before.”
That is one rule that has always been a no-brainer. I don’t want to have little illegitimate versions of myself running around, and I sure don’t want to catch anything. I have never had sex without covering it up first, except for a couple of times with Liv when I’ve pulled out.
“I’ve never been with anyone without one,” I breathe.
God, the thought of burying myself inside Liv without any cover and allowing myself to explode is almost enough for the gig to be over before it evens starts.
I slow my breathing and make quick work of Liv’s jeans before I slowly melt into her.
“Fuck Liv, nothing has ever felt this good.” This is the most intimate connection I have ever had with someone else and I’m almost fully clothed.
“I love you,” she says as she stares straight into my eyes.
“I love you more,” I respond before placing a light kiss on her lips.
After that we stay staring straight at one another as I rock into her slowly and steadily, making love and cherishing every second we have.
As we both reach our climax together, and I have the absolute pleasure of coming inside of her, I thank God for bringing her into my life and making her mine.
Time to go
As the sunlight peaks its way through the crack in my curtains, concrete settles in the pit of my stomach. I’ve been dreading this day since Gray and I got together, and now it is here.
I have to let him go, I have to say goodbye and I have to wait two whole weeks until we are together again at the show in San Francisco.
Thank God I have Sienna staying with me, I really need the company. Missing him is going to be torture and today is only the first day.
I can feel his light breath on my neck. He has spooned me all night.
Usually we both roll about a bit during sleep and we end up waking up in some other position, but not this time. It’s like our bodies were subconsciously aware that this is the last time in a while that we will be able to do this, and they have made the most of it.
I don’t want to wake him so I try my best to regulate my breathing and stay still in his arms. I love him with every part of me; it’s a love that runs deep into my bones, like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. If I wasn’t filming, I’d be going on this tour with him because time apart from him feels like hell.
I am one hundred per cent, hopelessly and completely in love with him.
I feel Grayson shift slightly behind me before his soft lips make contact with the back of my neck.
“Mornin’ baby,” he says as he continues to sprinkle kisses over my shoulders and hair, before he turns me onto my back and hovers over me.
I fix my face into a bright smile. I don’t want him to see how sad I am about his departure. This is such an exciting time for him and the boys, and I want him to leave and enjoy his time away.
“Good morning,” I say as I wrap my hands around his shoulders and pull him tighter to me. I offer my lips for a kiss and Grayson doesn’t disappoint. His lips move over mine softly and sweetly, before he pushes his tongue into my mouth and tangles it with mine.
“Shall we shower?” Grayson asks as he pulls back from me.
I nod and we both make our way to the bathroom to enjoy our last shower together for at least the next couple of months.
The drive to the label is a quiet one. Grayson holds my hand the entire way, running his thumb over my palm, offering me comfort and love.
I insisted on driving him.
I didn’t want to watch him hop into a cab and drive away from me.
Ava and Ethan are coming to see him off too, so at least I’ll have them with me once the tour bus departs. Sienna had rehearsals this morning so she and Gray said their goodbyes last night. I couldn’t watch them do that so I made an excuse about needing a shower and left them to it.
Of course the first person we see when I park my little red sports car is Ruby-bitch. Grayson feels me stiffen against him and wraps his arm around my shoulder, before placing a kiss to my cheek.
Ruby is dressed in tight skinny jeans and a fitted t-shirt that hugs her well-endowed chest. Her long blonde hair falls effortlessly over her shoulders and her red lips are painted to perfection.
I hate her.
Irrational I know, but I can’t help it.
“Grayson,” she says with a smile before she looks over at me. “We’re heading out in ten, say your goodbyes and make your way onto the bus.”
She is so cold-hearted.
“Good morning Ruby,” I say, just so she has to acknowledge me.
“Good Morning Olivia,” she responds as she heads off in the opposite direction.
We make our way over to Will, Matt and Cooper who are all standing around while Cooper finishes his cigarette.
“Morning,” they all call in unison.
We exchange hugs and kisses and the boys start to talk excitedly about the adventure that they are about to undertake.
Grayson leans into me.
“Come wi
th me Liv, I want to put my bags and guitar on the bus.”
I excuse myself from the guys and take Gray’s hand, as we head towards his home for the next couple of months.
The interior is amazing. It’s like an apartment on wheels.
There is a large sectional sofa along one side and a small kitchen area with everything from an oven to a microwave to a fridge. All the appliances are state-of-the-art.
Further down a corridor, there is a bathroom with a toilet and shower and then the very end of the bus is lined with bunk beds, at least four high on each side. They look closely packed, and in all honesty, if I had to sleep there I think I would be claustrophobic.
Gray chooses a bunk on the bottom left and throws his bag and guitar down. He reaches into the zip pouch of his back pack and pulls out a large photo of him and I that we snapped on our phones when we were at the beach. We both look so peaceful, happy and completely in love.
He grabs a wad of blu-tack and lies back on the bed.
“I wanted you to be here when I did this,” he says.
He tacks the photo on the base of the bunk above him right over his pillow. “This is what I’m going to see every night when I go to sleep and every morning when I wake up. Your beautiful face.”
He holds out his hand and I crawl onto the bed beside him.
He scoots over so that he is on his side and his back is against the window so that I don’t fall out. He wraps his arms around my waist and the emotion that I’ve been trying to hold back flows out.
Tears that I didn’t even know were there track down my cheeks as I cry silently.
Gray just pulls me against him and holds me tight, letting me get it all out. I’m surprised by how much I’m sobbing, and how I can’t seem to stop. Grayson rubs my back and tucks me into the crook of his neck as he gently kisses my hair.
“I’m sorry,” I say as I feel the sobs subsiding.
“You have nothing to be sorry for. I hate seeing you upset, but I can’t pretend that it doesn’t make me love you more to know that you’re so sad that I’m leaving.”